Chapter 55
Soren
Three Weeks Ago
She’s lying in the hospital, comatose. She’s been that way for two weeks since her life-saving surgery.
Medical staff can’t say when—if—she’ll even wake up.
I spend every waking second by her side.
I can’t bear to be away from her. Maybe I’m obsessed, maybe it’s unhealthy, I don’t know …
What I do know is I’m crazy in love with her, and I need her to know I’m there. I need her to fight.
“Incredible, isn’t it?” O murmurs, tracing his fingers over the glass vials. “The amount of power in these tiny vials.”
“Do we have an agreement?” I ask, changing the subject. I couldn’t give two shits about the serum. Unless it can bring Raine back from the brink of death, I don’t give a shit.
O shuts the case slowly. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes. She walks away. Free to live life as a normal citizen.”
“And you think someone like Raine is capable of living a normal life?”
“It doesn't matter what I think.”
O huffs out a half-assed smile. I’ve been trained to withhold information my whole life and I’m not about to crack now. Not to evil personified.
“And in return,” O says, “You remain? An operative until the day you die?”
I don’t flinch. “Yes.”
“I’m curious, Soren. You’re about to be a free, very wealthy man, yet you’re trading your freedom for a woman who you couldn’t stand a few months ago. Help me understand.”
“Things change.”
He leans back, studying me like I’m a fucking lunatic. “When did you fall for her?”
I don’t answer; instead, I shift my weight from one foot to the other. Fuck this guy and his questions.
O smiles, and there’s nothing nice about it. “You love her.”
I stare at his one putrid good eye. For a brief moment, my mind drifts to the memory of how satisfying it felt, gouging out the eyes of Alex. What would it feel like to gouge out a glass eye? I’d fucking love to find out.
O shoves his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “Fine. I’ll grant the trade. On one condition.”
“What’s the condition?”
“You don’t get to see her again. Ever.”
My heart stops. The beating simply grinds to a screeching halt. What the hell kind of condition is that?
“That’s not happening. That’s not fu–”
“Fine.” O snips lightly. “Trade not granted.”
I run my hands through my hair, frustration rippling off my body. “What is it with you, huh? You get some kind of sick satisfaction out of tormenting people?”
“Tormenting?” O chuckles softly. “Try controlling. But you wouldn’t know much about that.
Control is something you’ve never really been able to grasp, have you, Soren?
Even back in your days in black ops, you were never really in control.
You’ve always been a pawn in someone else’s chess game.
You couldn't control your rage, which made you a feared soldier, sure … but at the end of the day? You were still just a faithful dog, sitting on command. Some of us are born to lead, while others are born to obey. You’re the latter, Soren.
I couldn’t give a flying fuck if it’s you or Raine who is free …
so make your decision. What’s it going to be? ”
My body vibrates with rage as the words penetrate me in a way that’s so uncomfortable because it’s true. Who am I if not someone answering orders? I don’t even notice my fists curl into a ball until I feel my fingernails carving indents into the palm of my hands.
I’m fucked.
I’m out of options.
Well, not quite. I could kill O—and fuck me, the thought of snapping the neck of the arrogant cunt almost gives me a hard-on—but that creates an enemy out of the entire Agency network.
And I don’t even know how big or how deep the organization runs.
All I know is it's extremely powerful. And not an enemy I need right now.
Not while Raine lies comatose in a hospital bed.
Which leaves me no choice but to agree to this absolute bullshit condition.
“Fuck!” I uncurl my fists. “Okay!”
O’s eyebrows raise. “Okay?”
“Yes.” I swallow. “Okay.”
“You fucking say it, Soren.”
I take a few deep breaths, mainly to stop the anger from taking over my body. My body goes completely still as I utter five words that rip my soul apart.
“I won’t see her again.”
“Soren,” O says, voice laced with pure threat.
“If I find out you do … I’ll find her and take my time with her.
And I’ll make you watch. In all the ways you don’t want to watch another man with your woman.
Do you understand me? I will make you watch as I fuck her, then take her apart, limb from fucking limb. ”
I slam my fist into the wall right beside O’s head. O flinches, but doesn’t move. Flecks of plaster and paint crumble around my balled-up fist which remains jammed in the wall.
“Fuck you.” I hiss. “You’re a fucking monster.”
I spit on O’s shoes. O’s eyes drop to his spit-covered black Hermes loafers.
A few agonizing seconds pass before O finally speaks.
“Trade granted.” O ducks underneath my arm as I remove my fist from the wall. “Oh, and Soren? I’ll be in touch.”
I stare at him, breath lodged in my throat. “Get the fuck out.”
O steps around me and drops a new burner phone on the bench. He closes the lid on the briefcase, before casually picking it up and leaving.
He’s been gone all of two seconds before my knees buckle, and I slide down the back of the door. My breath tears out of me, hands in my hair as the world I built, a life with her, a future with her, crumbles into dust.
I’ve done the right thing. Her freedom means more to me than mine.
But to live knowing she will wake and think I’ve left her? My heart shreds into thin strips as I realize I’ll have to live knowing that she will fucking hate me for the rest of her days.
And that might be a worse fate than dying.
But at least she’ll be safe.