5. CHAPTER FIVE #3
We lay there, suspended in the quiet, the space between us a careful, buzzing stretch of mattress we both pretended wasn’t strange. The room stayed hushed while the city’s glow seeped around the edges of the blackout shade, painting thin lines of gold along the floor and furniture.
I could feel the weight of every unspoken word, every breath we didn’t dare let out too loudly.
Then—just a graze—my foot brushed hers beneath the covers. A whisper of skin against skin, so light it could have been a dream.
But it wasn’t.
We both stilled, as if the world had tilted and we were waiting to see if we’d fall.
“Sorry,” I breathed, the word barely there.
Her voice was quiet. “Don’t be. Just… accidental gravity.”
The mattress shifted as she turned toward me, and my body followed without permission, as if my bones had conspired against me. Suddenly, we were close—so close I could see the flecks of gold and storm in her eyes, the way her lashes cast shadows on her cheeks.
Under the dim lights, I could just make out the silhouette of her body—just the faint outline of the blanket bathed in dim city lights that cascaded over the wall. We were close enough that the heat radiating from Zhari’s skin seeped into mine, sending a rush of thrill through me.
My eyes settled on the steady rise and fall of her chest, light spilling over pink skin, our breaths overlapping in the quiet room.
I could feel her gaze on me—those aquamarine eyes tracing every dip and contour of my face. It sent a shiver down my spine, that look of wanting, as if she were pulling me apart and consuming me piece by piece.
Any trace of sleep had vanished, my thoughts circling back to the curve of her lips and the soft flutter of her lashes.
Maybe I didn’t understand intimacy as much as I thought I did, because despite everything I’d said, the pull between us felt inevitable. I stilled, time stretching thin as conflict flickered inside me.
“Vada,” she murmured, her voice low. “I will not do anything you don’t want me to.”
I nodded, leaning forward until our lips hovered centimeters apart, her breath warm against my skin.
“I know.”
Her mouth lingered over mine for a few seconds. Then Zhari’s hand slid up to cradle my cheek, tilting my head just enough to deepen the kiss. Her other hand found the back of my neck, drawing me closer until our bodies settled flush, heat pressed to heat.
I parted my lips on a quiet gasp, and her tongue brushed my lower lip in a slow, teasing stroke that sent a shiver all the way down my spine.
I couldn’t breathe. My heartbeat pounded against my ribs, uneven and trembling, as if it might sync with her two heartbeats if I let it.
There was a small, visible hesitation, and I caught it. I guided her hand down from my neck and pressed it against the front of my shirt, a silent invitation.
She followed, slow at first and then firmer, as her hand moved lower and slipped under the fabric, brushing my skin.
Her mouth trailed kisses along my jaw and down the column of my neck. My head tipped back, my breath catching with every grazing touch.
All I knew was that I wanted her hands on my skin, our bodies close enough to mold into one.
Zhari’s mouth paused at my neckline. She looked up, wordless, asking permission.
I nodded.
She eased my shirt higher, the fabric bunching under my arms and baring my breasts to the dim light. Cool air brushed over my skin, and her thumb circled my areola in slow loops that had my back arching and goosebumps rising across my chest.
She dipped her head as if she were bowing, then closed her mouth around my nipple. Heat rolled through me as she sucked, her tongue moving in unhurried strokes that pulled a low sound from my throat.
She kissed her way across the valley between my breasts, then took the other nipple into her mouth, teasing until my fingers slid up around her neck, holding on. My thoughts thinned out, everything else fading until there was only the pull of her mouth and the warm rush beneath my skin.
Her hand drifted to my hip, fingers toying with the strap of my underwear. I caught her wrist.
She stopped instantly, her eyes meeting mine and searching for discomfort.
Guilt twisted low in my chest, but I shook my head.
“I’m sorry—stars, I’m sorry,” I whispered, guiding her hand back up until our foreheads brushed. “I really need to stop. I trust you. I just… don’t want to rush this.”
For a second, she only looked at me, soft and confused. Then she smiled—dazed and tender—and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll wait, remember?”
She smoothed my shirt back down over my torso, the charged tension dissolving into something warm and safe. When she pulled me into her arms again, I went easily, breathing in her steady rhythm until it started to ground me.
The ghost of what had just happened lingered as a dull ache between my thighs, but my pulse finally steadied. I pressed closer, exhaling against her skin.
Zhari’s arms wrapped around me, holding me in a loose, easy embrace. I smiled and nuzzled into the curve of her neck, breathing in her scent as my eyes drifted shut.
With our limbs tangled together and her heartbeat a steady thrum against my chest, I let the heavy pull of sleep take me under, sinking into dreamless dark.