55. Jackson
55
jackson
We pulled off the road to get some food, and now we’re all sitting at an outdoor picnic table, finishing up while Brian stands off in the distance having a phone call like he always does when he can get some distance from us.
Mya catches me looking at her uncle and lowers her voice. “I know what this one is about.”
“Yeah?” I pop another fry into my mouth. “Care to enlighten the rest of us?”
She looks over at the guys, but the three of them are deep into their own conversation about their plans during our shortened downtime between tours. None of them are going home. They don’t think it’s worth the trip for less than a day, and I can’t say I disagree with them.
When I look back at Mya, she’s leaning toward me across the table. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to be mad.”
I stop chewing. “What did you do?”
She bites her bottom lip, her green eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun. “First, a disclaimer. You know all I care about is the success of the band, and I know all you care about is the success of the band. Well, that and one other thing, but I won’t bring her up.”
“Mya.” My voice comes out as a warning.
She waves her last comment away. “I know. I know. I’m not allowed to talk about her, but she’s part of it. Sort of.”
“Mya,” I say again. Even the indirect mention of her feels like a stab to the chest. It’s been nine days since Margot and I broke up. Nine days since I put my cards on the table and told her I’m still hers. Nine days since she answered with an apology. The whole thing has left me feeling raw. I snapped at Mya after the breakup when she mentioned her and eventually had to come clean. The other guys don’t know we broke up. I can’t bring myself to explain it again.
Mya takes a moment, and it looks like she’s bracing herself for how I might react, which only makes my heart beat harder in my chest. I don’t think I’m ready for Margot to be a part of anything just yet. I told myself I’d give her two weeks. After two weeks I’d text her. It’s been killing me to give her this space, but I know she needs it. If there’s any chance of getting her back, she needs time to miss me first. I take another bite of my fry and wave my hand for her to continue.
When she does finally speak, her words come out in a rush. “So, you know that song you wrote about Margot?”
I nearly choke, but even as I cough through it and shake my head, I know the heat in my ears is a dead giveaway. “I didn’t write a song about Margot.” Her name feels heavy on my tongue. It’s probably the first time I’ve said it since my conversation with Mya about everything.
Mya gives me a leveling look. “Fine. You know that song you wrote about that girl you love?”
My eyes narrow. “What’s your point, Mya?”
She holds my stare before shaking her head. “You know what, I’ll just show you.”
“Show me wha—” I stop talking as she holds out her phone to show a video of me sitting outside the RV, softly playing and singing the song. “You filmed me?”
“Yes, I filmed you. I always film you guys for socials, but this song is good, Jackson. Really good.” She points to the screen she’s still holding out toward me. “And I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
I look closer, noting the numbers on the side of the screen and freeze. My eyes jump back to Mya. “Over half a million people liked that video?” I can’t even wrap my head around that big of a number. And for a song I whipped together in a matter of days? To be fair, most of it was already written, but I changed a few of the verses after we broke up.
She gives me a satisfied smirk now that I’m finally catching on. “And over 2.4 million views.”
I blink. “What?”
She grins. “Yeah.”
I shake my head in a desperate attempt to clear it. “What does this mean?”
“It means we’ve gained over two hundred thousand followers in the past week, and the numbers are still climbing.” She looks over at Brian. “And it means that guy’s phone has been ringing off the hook with people asking when the song will be released.”
I force a laugh. “Released? I don’t even know if it’s finished.”
She steals one of my fries. “Well, you better finish it because he’s going to want the band in the studio as soon as possible so he can drop this single.”
Even though I can hear the words she’s saying, none of it makes sense. “He wants to make it a single?”
“He’d be stupid not to. It’s what the people want.”
I shake my head. “The people.”
She chuckles. “Yes. At least half a million of them. And that’s after only hearing an acoustic segment of the song. Can you imagine how many people will love it once the guys get in on it?”
Brady looks over at us, finally pulled from whatever he was talking about with Marty and Dave. “In on what?”
“Jackson’s song,” Mya says. “A really good one. It’s about love and heartache, and it has a grit to it that keeps the American Thieves sound. He’ll play it for you. He’s a viral sensation.”
Dave cocks an eyebrow, amusement shaping his features. “Oh, yeah?”
It’s hard for me to fight my own smile when I say, “I’ll play it for you later apparently.”
Dave winks. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Brian hangs up the phone and heads over to us. He claps his hands together. “Okay, we need to get into the studio as soon as possible.” He looks at Mya. “You filled them in?”
She bobs her head from side to side. “More or less. Jackson knows everything, and the other guys know we need to record something Jackson wrote.”
Brian nods. “Good enough. So, when can we do this? We need to ride the wave, and we don’t know how long this will last, so the sooner the better.”
“All the days between shows for the rest of the tour will be spent traveling, so it will have to be after.” Brady says.
Dave nods. “I guess we know what we’re doing with our few days off between tours now. We’ll find an available studio and rent it out for the day.” He turns to me. “How much of this song do you have?”
My knee bounces under the table. I can’t stay here between tours. I need to see Margot. “All of it. But you guys can make changes. It could probably use some help.”
“No changes,” Brian says with a firm shake of his head. “Everyone already loves it. We can’t change it.”
Brady frowns. “Who’s everyone? ”
Mya props her elbow on the table, looking far too pleased with herself. “Just 2.4 million viewers.”
Marty balks. “I’m sorry. Did you say 2.4 million? ”
Everyone waits for confirmation, and Mya happily nods.
The guys break out in comments I can’t keep track of because all I can think about is how much I don’t want to record this song using the few days we have between tours.
“Damn!” Marty leans forward to look over at me. “I knew your pretty face would come in handy.”
I flip him off with a laugh.
Brian snaps his fingers to get all our attention. “Focus. Studio time. I want to reserve the hours now, so when can we do it?”
“Between tours works for me,” Brady says with a shrug.
“Same,” Dave agrees.
“I’ve got no plans,” Marty chimes in.
Then they’re all looking at me. My fists clench on the tabletop. I never want to be the one to let the band down, but I never want to be the one to let Margot down, either. If I don’t see her during this break—if I don’t even come home like I said I would, I know there will be no shot at us working things out. Saying yes to the band this time feels like saying goodbye to Margot forever, and I’m not ready for that.
I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.
But they’re all fucking staring at me, and it’s like I can feel the compounded pressure with each of their gazes. Especially Brian’s. He’s looking at me like his career hangs in the balance of how I respond to this question, and it’s too much.
“I . . .” Rubbing a tense hand over my mouth, I shake my head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Brian curses under his breath. “Why?”
I don’t want to answer him because I know he’ll think my reason is dumb. They all will. Well, everyone except for Mya judging by the slight lift to her lips. My knee bounces under the table, and I clasp both hands in front of my mouth. “I have to go home. I’m sorry.”
The irony of my statement plummets in my stomach. Because I don’t technically have a home. I wouldn’t consider my parents’ house home, and Margot technically isn’t a home for me right now either. If I go back to the apartment, and she won’t see me, I don’t know where I’ll go. Then losing the opportunity to record with the band will have been for nothing. I swallow at the thought.
Marty’s eyebrows furrow. “To see Margot?”
My jaw tenses, and I nod.
He looks over at Dave. “I thought you said they broke up?”
His question sends a pang through my chest, and I drop my gaze. The entire table goes quiet, and when I dare to look up, I find Dave looking innocently from me to Marty. “I thought they did.” When my eyebrows crease, Dave adds, “You just haven’t seemed like yourself.”
I guess that’s fair. I haven’t felt like myself either.
“He’s going to win her back,” Mya says with a rueful smile.
A slow grin spreads across Dave’s face. “Fuck yeah, you are!”
I let out a laugh that quickly dies when Brian throws his head back. He just stares up at the sky for a moment with his fists clenched like he’s trying to find it within himself not to throttle me. When he does finally bring his attention back to me, his mouth is set in a thin line. “You’re serious?”
I nod.
He gives me a warning stare. “This better be worth it.”
“It will be.”
He shakes his head and turns away from us. After a few steps he turns back around and points at me. “I swear to God, Jackson, if you come back here with no girlfriend and we don’t have a song, there’s going to be hell to pay. ”
I just stare at him, holding my breath until he turns and keeps walking.
Brady crosses his arms over his chest and chuckles. “You are one brave son of a bitch.”
Marty snorts. “Brave or stupid. Brian’s right, we should ride the wave while it has momentum.”
Dave nods. “We should, but sometimes there are things more important than work. I had to learn that the hard way with Lynn.” He looks over at me with a grin. “Go win Margot back, and then we’ll record the song.” He looks at Mya. “For now, optimize the content you’re posting as much as possible. Have Jackson record an acoustic version you can post to keep it relevant, and we’ll hype up the release of the single.”
Mya pulls out her phone and starts typing. “On it.”
Catching Dave’s eye, I say a quiet “Thanks,” and he nods in response.
“All right,” Dave says as he claps his hands together. “The business stuff is taken care of. Now for the real question. How are you going to get her back?”
Excitement surges through my veins. Even if this doesn’t work, I’ll at least know I gave it my best shot. I’ll know I did everything I could. Letting out a breath of laughter, I scratch the side of my head and try to hide my panic. “I have no idea.”