67. Jackson
67
jackson
This airport goodbye is different than the one we shared in New York. This one isn’t see you in a matter of months. This one is days. This one feels more like see you later, I never realized how much saying goodbye to Margot took from me, but this one leaves me still feeling whole.
Because she’s coming.
I wish she were coming now, but I can wait two weeks. Two weeks is nothing compared to two months. The days will fly by, and she’ll be touring with me before I know it.
Her car is still running as I hold her tight. “I’ll text you when I land.”
Her arms wrap around my waist tighter. “Thank you for coming back.” Her voice is small, maybe a little ashamed, like she knows how different our lives would be if I hadn’t.
“I’ll always come back for you, Red.” I kiss the top of her head, and she looks up at me. Those warm brown eyes hold so much feeling, and I hope she never stops looking at me like this. I hope she always gives away everything she’s thinking with a single glance.
She smiles faintly. “I love you. ”
My own smile widens. Even though I could see it in her eyes, nothing beats hearing her say it.
Tilting her chin up, I kiss her. “I love you.”
It feels as natural as breathing. It feels like the most mundane yet liberating thing I could possibly say to her. Loving her is so ingrained in me at this point, saying it feels like coming home. It feels like finally letting out the breath I’ve been holding, and no grand gesture could ever beat this feeling.
I kiss her again, and she smiles against my lips. “Go.”
“I am going,” I say, kissing her again.
She laughs. “Jackson, I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I take her bottom lip between my teeth.
She sucks in a breath and my cock twitches. After breakfast, I made her fall apart twice, and she did the same to me. I should be content, but I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her.
“Jackson, you can’t fuck me outside the airport terminal.”
“See,” I say, holding her face in my hands and kissing her deeper. “That thought never even crossed my mind until you put it there.”
She puts her hands on my chest but does a poor job of actually pushing me away. Shaking her head, she says, “Two weeks,” and I take a little too much pleasure in how breathy her voice sounds.
“Two weeks,” I repeat.
“Go,” she says again, and this time I listen. Picking up my guitar case, I dip my chin.
“Two weeks,” I say again.
Her smile blossoms on her face. “Go,” she mouths the word again, and I grin.
Turning, I head toward the entrance of the airport. “I love you, Red!” I call over my shoulder, and when I look, she’s shaking her head at me with an adorable smile.
“I love you,” she says with a laugh before blowing me a kiss even though she’s definitely shaking her head at me .
As soon as I’m inside the airport, I check in, find my gate, and gradually get pulled back to my reality. I’m on my own, flying out to meet up with the band so we can finalize the set list for our first tour. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of.
I text Dave and Margot once I’ve boarded my flight. It all feels unreal. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s willing to put certain parts of her life on hold . . . for me. My own parents can’t even manage to call and check in, but Margot can quit her job and move across the country to live with me on a bus. It doesn’t compute. I don’t know how I got so lucky for her to want me that much, but I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for everything she does.
Five hours later, I touch down in California. Between the back-to-back days of heavy travel and a sleepless night with Margot, I passed out for a couple of hours on the flight. I needed it.
I turn my phone off airplane mode, and a series of texts from Matt come in all at once.
Matt:
DUDE.
Margot is going on tour with you?
I knew you wanted her back, but I wasn’t expecting you to basically ask her to move in with you.
I’m kind of bummed you didn’t ask me.
I’d go on tour.
Maybe don’t tell Rae I said that.
Anyway, happy for you. I’m glad she came around.
It’s impossible to read the messages without the corner of my mouth lifting. I didn’t even think of it as asking her to move in with me. I mean, I practically lived with her over the summer anyway, so it’s not like we haven’t done that. But with Margot, the steps we take never really feel like official steps. We’re always just adapting to whatever our situation offers us, and right now, it’s her coming on the road with me.
Usually, Matt saying something like that would make me panic—especially if it’s something he hasn’t done yet. He and Rae are perfect. They’re two of the most compatible people I’ve ever seen. No one who sees them together can deny what they have. If he hasn’t asked Rae to move in with him yet, what business do I have doing it?
But I don’t feel any of that right now. I like the sound of Margot moving in with me. Even if it’s just onto an oversized bus with four other guys and Mya. Even if it means we won’t even share a bed because the bunks are too small. Even if it means Mya might steal her away from me to help with all her design projects. None of it diminishes the fact that she’ll be there.
I sent Matt back a quick text and ask him how Grandma Lois and the rest of the family are before tapping on the group chat for the band.
Jackson:
Just landed.
Marty:
That was today?
I roll my eyes. I hate when he tries to be funny.
Dave:
Almost there. See you in a few minutes.
I didn’t check a bag, so I step around the crowd waiting for their luggage and head for a vacant bench near the front where I can keep an eye out for the RV .
I send Margot a text letting her know I landed like I said I would.
“Excuse me,” a soft voice says from somewhere behind me.
I look over my shoulder to find two girls about my age practically huddled together like they’re not sure which one should approach me first.
One of the girls with short blonde hair raises her hand in a sort of wave, and I assume she’s the one who spoke first. “Sorry, but um . . . are you Jackson Phillips?”
I don’t think it will ever not feel weird to have a stranger already know my name. Turning to face them, I say, “Yeah, I am. What’s up?”
She looks at her friend with big eyes, and it makes me think her friend doubted it was me. The other girl has brown hair with blonde at the ends, and she definitely looks like she’s stopped breathing at this point.
The blonde speaks again. “We’re both huge fans. I mean, especially Amy.” She nudges her friend who still looks very much in shock. “She’s listened to all your stuff on repeat for months.”
Amy looks at her friend like she just committed the worst type of betrayal.
I look at Amy. “That’s awesome. Thank you.” Amy smiles but still says nothing. The two girls just stand there staring at me, and it’s starting to make me uncomfortable, so I clear my throat. “Um, do you want a picture or something?”
“Could we?” The blonde grins and pushes her friend Amy toward me.
“Oh—um, okay.” Amy finally speaks, and her voice is shaky.
I put my arm around her for a quick photo, and it baffles me that I could make anyone feel this nervous. I’m just me. I’m just a guy who plays guitar and has no idea what the hell he’s doing outside of that .
“Thank you so much!” Amy says once we’re done, her voice high pitched and squeaky.
“Are you single?” the blonde asks.
Amy looks appalled at her friend, but I just scratch the side of my head and laugh. “Uh, no. I’m not.”
For a split second, Amy looks like I may have just crushed her dreams, but her friend quickly ushers her away. “Figured. Thanks for the picture!”
“No problem,” I say with another laugh, and I get a text before I can sit down again.
Margot:
See you soon.
There’s a heart emoji with the message. I can’t wait for her to be here.
There’s honking outside and I look through the windows. It isn’t the RV picking me up. It’s the fucking tour bus. Grabbing my stuff, I hurry outside. I don’t recognize the driver, but Dave is up front with him happily honking the horn to greet me. He must have asked if he could do that—at least I hope so.
Once they slow at the curb in front of me, I hurry up the steps and say hi to the new driver. The tour bus is a huge step up from the RV. It’s bright and open even though it has a lot of dark wood accents to give it a moody vibe. There’s a leather couch, an eatery, a kitchenette. It’s incredible.
Everyone is sitting on the couch watching something on the flat screen TV across from them, and I’m met with varying waves and head nods.
“I can’t believe you guys picked me up in a fucking tour bus.” I can’t wipe the smile off my face. They’re insane.
“Well,” Dave says with all seriousness. He sits on the arm of the couch before he continues. “We are headed straight for the first stop on the tour, and I figured you might need something to make you feel better in case things with a certain redhead didn’t go the way you were hoping . . .”
“Is this even allowed?” I ask, as I look past him out the window to all the much smaller cars picking up their friends and family.
“No clue,” Dave says with a laugh. “I don’t think so, but Mark agreed to push our luck, and no one said anything.”
I look over my shoulder at our new driver. Mark wears aviator sunglasses and gives me a two-finger salute before putting both hands back on the wheel as he maneuvers out of the airport.
Turning my attention back to everyone else, I realize they’re all waiting for me to say something. Mya is biting her nails, Brian looks like he might still want to kill me if this wasn’t worth it, and the rest of the guys are all staring at me with their eyebrows raised.
“She’ll be here in two weeks.” I say as I run my hand over my hair. “She’s coming with us.”
I think the tour bus physically rocks with the commotion of cheers and hollers that erupts from them all. Mya jumps to her feet and gives me a hug, and Dave pats me on the shoulder. I haven’t even set my stuff down yet, and my face already hurts from smiling. When I lock eyes with Brian, I’m relieved to see him shaking his head and laughing.
Everyone here is happy just because I’m happy, and I think this is what family is supposed to feel like.