18. Chapter Eighteen
“What’s up with your face?” Tess leans forward and sniffs the camera. “Yep, just what I thought.”
My brows furrow. “What are you talking about? And why are you sniffing the camera?”
“My baby brother reeks of love .”
“If you were here right now, I’d flick you.”
Tess rubs her head as if it actually happened. “Good thing I’m an eighteen-hour flight away.”
“And, by the way, I’m not in love.”
She lets out a dramatic sigh. “How am I supposed to live through your romance stories if you don’t have any to share?”
“Like the blind date I let Aunt D set me up on?”
“Shut. Up.” Tess emphasizes each word. “You let her set you up on a date before me?” She pouts and crosses her arms. “I’m offended.”
“I don’t let anyone set me up on dates, but I made an exception this time.” I laugh. “Let me tell you a tale I like to call Darla and the Duck .”
My sister smiles and moves closer to the screen. “Tell me everything .”
I dive into the story, sharing what I learned from Darla’s and Kelsey’s perspectives. Once I finish telling her all the crazy details, I sigh. “That’s why I agreed to let her set me up. How could I not after everything she went through?”
The mischievous smile on Tess’s lips lets me know she’s about to tell me exactly how she feels. “You, dear brother, have been hoodwinked.”
“Aunt D didn’t trick me. She was legit scared.”
“Yeah.” She snorts. “Scared of dying before you get married and give her more great-great nieces or nephews to spoil.”
The more that I think about it, I wouldn’t put it past my matchmaking great-aunt to swindle me into going on a date. Darla’s words from that day flood back to the front of my mind. I rub the back of my neck. “She might’ve mentioned something about a ticking clock.”
Tess brandishes her fist like it’s a judge’s gavel, banging it on the table in front of her. “I find the defendant guilty as charged.” She steeples her hands under her chin. “Now, are you going to tell me about your date? I’m not above begging.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “What’s with women wanting to know every little detail?”
“I already told you. I’m living vicariously through you.”
“Why can’t you just go on dates yourself?”
She waves off my comment. “Evie’s my priority. I don’t have the time to invest in getting to know someone right now.”
My heart breaks for my sister. I know she’s doing what she thinks is right for Evie, but I also know how much love my sister has to give. She deserves to have someone to share that love with and be loved by in return.
Tess snaps her fingers. “Stop trying to change the subject and tell me about your date.”
“You’re gonna love this.” I laugh nervously. I know there’s no turning back once I tell my nosy sister about this—about who I went on a date with and my potential feelings for said person. “I’m sitting at the restaurant, waiting for my date to show up, and in walks none other than…”
“Oh, spill it already.”
“Kelsey.”
Tess’s mouth falls open. “Your neighbor and the woman watching Evie? That Kelsey?” I nod. “How juicy.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Did Aunt D know?”
“I don’t think so. She seemed surprised when I brought it up.”
“Maybe it’s a happy coincidence.”
“There’s one thing it is—confusing.”
“So, I guess the date didn’t go well?”
“It wasn’t really a date.”
“But?”
I may as well tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth before her fist-gavel makes a reappearance. “I can’t stop thinking about it. About her .”
“Aha! I knew it.” She points an accusatory finger at the screen. “I knew you liked her.”
I shake my head. “Not before. Kelsey kind of hated me, and I wasn’t too fond of her either. But we talked things through at dinner, and now I can’t seem to get her out of my head.”
“Every great love story has to start somewhere.” Tess holds a hand to her heart. “What are you going to do to win her over?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh, come on. Every girl wants a love declaration or grand gesture.”
“I’m not going to declare my love to someone I’m not in love with.”
Tess huffs. “You’re no fun. What will you do when you do love her—or someone else?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Tell her?”
She tuts. “That won’t do. What are her interests?”
“From what I know, I’d say she likes dogs, sweaters, coffee, and Taylor Swift.”
“That’s perfect. You can get treats or toys for her dog. Recite Taylor’s lyrics to her as your text responses. Bring her coffee just the way she likes it. Heck, maybe you could even buy matching sweaters for her and the dog.” She sighs dreamily. “When you tell her you love her, you totally need to do it in a way related to Taylor.”
“How do you declare love in a way related to Taylor Swift?”
Tess hangs her head. “How are we even related? I have so much to teach you, little brother. Just call me when you need help winning her over. I’ve got your back.”
“You know who doesn’t have my back? Your daughter.”
Her brow furrows. “What did she do?”
“Kelsey and I are in a bit of a prank war right now, and your daughter helped the enemy.”
“What did you do to that poor girl?”
“ Me ?” I scoff. “She started it.”
Tess leans back and kicks up her feet. “In that case, I need the details, stat.”
“She put out an advertisement in the newspaper with my face and phone number that said I was a doctor available for in-home visits to help with anyone’s needs.”
My sister laughs uncontrollably. All I can do is sit there and wait while she gets all her giggles out at my expense. Once she’s finally gotten control of herself, Tess says, “That’s hilarious. I only wish I’d thought of it first.” She wipes the tears from her eyes. “Did anyone call for your services ?”
I nod. “I had so many women blowing up my phone. Kelsey had the newspaper put a redaction out, but I still had to change my number because of the obscene amount of calls I got.”
“I’d wondered why you texted me that you got a new number. It all makes sense now.” She chuckles. “Please tell me you still have some voicemails I can listen to when I get back home.”
“Those were all deleted immediately. I just imagined Evie opening my phone and accidentally playing one of them.” I grimace. “There was no way I was about to let that happen.”
“As much as I would’ve loved to hear them, thank you for preserving my daughter’s innocence.” She laughs again. “I can’t wait to meet Kelsey. I have a feeling we’d be great friends.”
I have no doubt that Tess and Kelsey would be two peas in a pod, teasing and pranking me for the rest of my life. My heart pounds in my chest at the thought. They would make a terrifying pair, but also the thought of Kelsey being part of the rest of my life doesn’t sound quite so bad.
“What did you do to retaliate?” she asks.
“Evie and I got one of her roommates to let us in, and we hid a bunch of miniature rubber ducks in her house and car.”
“Because of the duck situation at Sunrise Springs?” I nod. “That’s gold. I’m impressed with your creativity.”
With a compliment like that, there’s no way I’m telling her the inspiration for the idea came from the internet. “Thanks.” I smile. “Then I was welcomed home yesterday with a lovely spray of water to the crotch.”
She presses her lips together, trying to hold back her laughter. “I think I need more of an explanation than that.”
I tell her about the hair tie around the sprayer and how I had to change before taking Evie to see the pumpkins last night. When I’m finished talking, Tess smirks knowingly.
“What?”
“She has to like you too. No one goes through this much effort for someone they don’t like.”
“What about for someone they loathe?”
Tess shakes her head. “You said you talked stuff through at the dinner and how she had the newspaper retract the ad.”
“I guess you’re right.” I mull over the idea of Kelsey potentially liking me. “She also brought me lunch at work this week because she felt awful about it all.”
“See? It’s a thing. I know it.” She grins.
“Do you have any prank ideas? I’m not sure what to do next.”
“Remember that annoying little cricket-chirping thing you hid in my house a few years ago? That’s good if you want to make her dig through her entire house or car for a day trying to find a non-existent cricket.”
“Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite sister?”
She presses her cheek to her shoulder and looks up, fluttering her eyelashes. “Please, tell me more.”
“You’re so weird.”
“No. I’m your favorite .” Tess grins.
It does my heart good to see her so happy. I know she misses Evie—and maybe even me—something fierce, but she’s also great at what she does. I know she must be thriving in an environment where she gets to shine all day long, doing what she loves.
At least, I think she loves her job. She doesn’t talk about it much. Tess teases me about everything, but when it comes to trying to ask her questions about her own life, she gives me vague answers, deflects questions, or brings up Evie as her excuse. I make a mental note to get her to open up more when she’s back home. There’s little point trying to do it now when we have limited time and she could easily hang up on me.
“Don’t make me change my mind,” I say.
“How could you after I just gave you the best prank?”
“Did I mention how humble you are, too?”
She sticks her tongue out at me, then glances at her watch. “I should get back to work.”
“I know you already talked to Evie, but do you want me to grab her so you can say goodbye again?”
My sister dabs at her eyes with the sleeve of her t-shirt. “No, it’s hard enough to say goodbye once. I’m not sure I can do it again right now.”
I shoot her a pitying look. “You only have a little under two months to go. You’ve got this, sis.”
“Give Evie a big hug for me?” Her voice is shaky, riddled with emotion.
“I’ll squeeze her extra tight. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
When we hang up, my heart physically hurts for my sister. I wish I could do more for her, but that’s a little hard with her on the other side of the globe. I make another mental note to be more intentional when she’s back home. With our parents away and her single parenting, I feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure she and Evie have everything they need.
I get up from the kitchen table and dig through my junk drawer until I find what I’m looking for—the small sound device that makes annoying cricket sounds at random intervals. When I bought it, some of the reviews said the battery life could last for up to three years.
With help from my little sidekick, this is the perfect prank to pull on Kelsey.
“Hey, Eves?”
Her footsteps come bounding down the stairs. She skids to a stop in the entryway to the kitchen. “Yeah?”
“This is from your mom.” I bend down, picking her up and squeezing her tight.
“Uncle Ty,” she croaks. “You’re squishing me to death.”
I set her down. “To make up for squeezing you to death, do you want to help me with my next prank on Ms. Kelsey?”
She twirls in delight. “Yes.”
“Perfect.” I smile. “So here’s what I need you to do…”