Chapter 13 #2
Was Bram watching? I didn’t want to be standing outside with Hunter, as handsome, kind, and smart as he was. I wanted to be inside, comfortable with Bram on the couch, Lakey at our feet.
I let out a deep breath, and Hunter smiled.
“Your mind is here, isn’t it?”
“Am I that easy to read?” I laughed. “It isn’t personal, Hunter. I just?—”
Hunter took a step back from me. “It’s fine. I enjoyed our time together. I apologize if I was too tired; it was a harder work day than anticipated.”
“Oh, it’s perfectly fine.” I bit my tongue to keep from rambling.
I could already feel that he wasn’t going to go in for a kiss, and I didn’t blame him. Our surface-level conversations hadn’t even warranted a hug, but that is what he went in for, quick and incomplete. His arms went around me in a loose, friendly fashion. I felt…nothing.
It was disappointing and telling.
When I walked into the unlocked front door, Lakey greeted me, her tail swishing around my legs. The television was on in the living room, but Bram wasn’t there.
“Bram?” I called out, setting my purse on the couch.
“Hey! Hold on, I’m coming.” His deep voice called from the kitchen, and I heard his footsteps on the creaky floor.
He entered the living room, beer bottle in hand. He wore loose black sweatpants and a green T-shirt, barefoot. He leaned casually against the open doorway of the dining room and looked at me.
“This seems like a thing with you,” I said, pointing at him up and down.
“What?” His face looked far from innocent.
“This doorway leaning you’ve been doing all day.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” His smirk said otherwise, and at the first sign of it, my heart raced.
“Oh, you know what you’re doing.” I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the couch.
“How was the date?” He emphasized the ’T’ in date.
“Great,” I lied, then looked at the TV, absently watching a commercial for a car. “How did the dinner wrap up?”
“Fine. The ladies told me to tell you they hope you come back next week.”
“Of course I will,” I replied, feeling a warm kinship with the women. But I shoved the emotion away. The last thing I needed was to get attached to Mill Creek residents and their world. I was going back to Charlotte in a couple of months.
“No more dates, then?” He tried to keep any pleasure out of his voice, but I felt it radiating off him. He already knew.
I sighed. “I don’t think so.” I settled back in my seat, and my gaze swung to meet his. “You and I need to talk.”
His brow furrowed as he took a sip of his beer.
“Okay…” he said, after he swallowed. “Shoot.”
“I know what you’re doing.” The words tumbled from my lips in a rush .
“Is that so?”
“You are paying people’s bills, buying groceries, gifts, and other things. Euetta told me. You’re paying for all that on your own, separate from the organization.”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s not a big deal. Feels good to help.”
“It’s incredible. I wish you’d told me how involved you were.”
He didn’t seem pleased by my praise. He ran a hand through his hair.
“It didn’t seem important. And I didn’t want you to think I had become altruistic, not fully,” he admitted.
“I still think about how much I owe on behalf of my father. He ruined so many lives. It’s what drives me.
I want to erase the hurt he caused. And maybe turn some opinions around in the process. My work is not entirely unselfish.”
I shook my head. “You don’t get it. You don’t just throw money at things. You give your time and energy, too. Even if it’s misplaced guilt, it’s a huge sacrifice on your part.”
“I don’t like making a big deal of it.” His eyes locked with mine, and electricity passed between us as it had earlier at the dinner.
“So I won’t,” I replied. “But I admire you more than words can say.”
He seemed speechless by my admission, but I noticed the moment he took control of the conversation. He grinned and tipped his beer bottle toward me. “You like being engaged to the secret big man about town, don’t you?”
I rolled my eyes, feigning annoyance.
“I’m engaged to a vampire. Don’t think I have forgotten that,” I jested, and he chuckled.
Something shifted, and I was ready to admit it to myself.
I wanted Bram.
And I wanted him to want me, too.
The weekend was full of casual conversation, FaceTimes with Kallie, and writing on the porch with Lakey. Come Monday morning, I was ready to resume my search for a place to live when I returned to Charlotte. It was never too early to start looking.
I’d sat down with a cup of coffee in the empty living room when the phone buzzed with an unknown number. I recognized the Virginia area code and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Julianna East?”
“Yes, this is her.” Lakey lay down at my feet.
“This is Dr. Kaveh. I’m sorry we have to meet over the phone for the first time.”
I sat up fully. “Oh, it’s okay. It’s nice to meet you.”
“And I apologize for bothering you so early. However, something came through on your scans, and we might need to address it quickly, hence the personal call.”
My palms began to sweat as anxiety flooded through me. “Oh. What was found?”
“I will cut to the chase. The discs are significantly more bulged than they were in your previous scan, just a couple of weeks ago. All this degeneration has done a number on you. I, honestly, cannot believe it’s not affecting you every day. Are you having any numbness or tingling?”
My mouth dropped open. “A little tingling down the back of my legs sometimes and the normal pinched nerve feeling in my back, but I haven’t had any numbness,” I replied, acutely aware the call wasn’t going anywhere well.
“Hmm. That’s curious. I’m looking at your MRI, and according to the radiology report, the bulge is sitting directly on the nerves,” she said, careful thought in her voice.
“I fear you might be a walking landmine. Any wrong move could cause the herniation to press further into the spinal cord. It could immobilize you instantly. I would like us to proceed with this as quickly as possible. What do you think about having surgery scheduled for this Friday, October 11th?”
I gasped. “So soon?” I began to shake, but I couldn’t lose it with her on the phone. I steeled my emotions. “If you think that’s necessary.”
“I assure you, it is,” she replied. “I have had a cancellation, and I want you to have it. Time is of the essence here.”
“If you believe that’s what needs to happen, then I’ll do it. I-I can’t thank you enough. I don’t want to lose movement or control.”
“I’m more than happy to help you. Dr. Billingsly spoke highly of you, and my PA told me he’d taken a particular interest in your case, so you’ve got a lot of people pulling for you, Ms. East.” The mention of Hunter made my cheeks heat on top of the anxiety that permeated under my skin.
Dr. Kaveh continued, “I’ll send this to our scheduler, and they’ll be calling you with official word of the date and intake information. Meanwhile, I suggest taking it easy. No strenuous activity and avoid sudden movements, anything that could pull or tug.”
“Thank you so much for calling me. I know you didn’t have to do that,” I said. My mind was reeling, but I was grateful.
“It’s no problem. Take care.”
I hung up, and my hands began to shake. My plans for the day had consisted of online house hunting, laundry, trying my hand at baking a pie, and polishing my interview skills. In an instant, everything changed.
Surgery was scary, but so was being immobile. I couldn’t win either way. I needed to tell somebody. Bram popped into my head instantly, as did Kallie. My best friend deserved first place. She’d be in the morning rush at the bakery, though. I couldn’t bother her.
I picked up the phone, typed out a message, and pressed send before I second-guessed myself.
Me: MRI came back. Discs are bulging more than in the last scans.
Me: Surgery is scheduled for Friday. Do you think we can get married before then? Legally? Insurance?
The read receipt appeared on the text string with Bram. I wiped away stray tears as the phone rang and his name popped up.
“Hey, sweets.”
“Hey,” I said, hiding a sniffle. “So, things are moving quickly. I’m sorry if that’s inconvenient for the whole married thing, but insurance…”
“I’m calling the courthouse when we hang up. I’ll get all the paperwork, license, all of it,” he assured me. “Don’t worry about all that, I’ve got it. How are you feeling?”
The concern in his voice made me break down in earnest, and I knew he could hear my despair through the phone.
“I-I can’t believe this is happening. I…I wasn’t prepared. I don’t know how I couldn’t be prepared. I knew something was wrong. I knew there was no stopping the surgery, but I thought?—”
“I’m not sure you could have prepared for this,” he cut in, his voice smooth and low. “It’s scary, plain and simple. But you’re so strong. God, if I could do this for you, I would. I’m sure you wish I could, too.”
I sniffled and wiped away more tears that had fallen down my cheeks. “Yes, but no. I wouldn’t wish this on you. ”
“But I would take it, if it would spare you,” he replied, resolutely. “What did the doctor say, word for word?”
I explained it in more detail, and he exhaled a large breath.
“You shouldn’t be alone right now. I’m coming home,” he declared.
“No,” I insisted. “I’m fine. I will be fine. I will call Kallie in a bit and text Whit to let him know what’s happening. You work. Tonight, we’ll do something to distract me.” Visions of us tangled up on the couch together, not sitting apart as we had been, ran through my mind.
“It’ll be okay, sweets.” He sounded so sure. “Deep breaths, okay?”
I took one in and out, letting him hear me. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Distract yourself today, but take it easy. Promise?”
“Promise.”
“I’ll check on you in a bit.”
We hung up, and I looked at Lakey, who stared up at me. She moved her head to where it sat on my foot, and tears sprang to my eyes anew.
“How will I leave you?” I whispered. I would have the surgery, then I would recover at Grams’ old house and go back to Charlotte. Lakey, the farmhouse, and Bram would all become a memory.
My phone buzzed in my hand.
Bram: I’m right here. It’s going to be okay.