Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
T here were a lot of things I regretted in my life—the arrogance of my youth.
I didn’t tell Grams what she meant to me before she was gone.
Driving buzzed with Julianna in the truck.
I didn’t have the bravery to break things off with my parents sooner.
Hurting Julianna worse when she was already mourning and unsteady.
I didn’t go after her when I should have. The list went on and on.
Yet, I couldn’t help but think that another one on my long list of worst regrets was never telling Whit what he meant to me.
Over our twenty years of friendship, I’d never expressed what he’d done for my life. It was past due. What was a better time than after beating each other up?
We’d talk as soon as I could get him away from my sister.
My blood boiled at the thought of them, even though I knew I had no leg to stand on.
Julianna was Whit’s sister, and Mel was mine.
It was ironic, and I couldn’t keep the laughing scoff from coming out as I stood over the large basin sink in the downstairs bathroom, using a wet cloth to wipe the blood off my face.
I took in the damage. The knot below my left eye swelled up fiercely, but that was the worst injury. There were a couple of gashes on my forehead and one on my collarbone, but they were easily cleaned and no longer bleeding.
Worse than the damage to my face was what Whit had done to my body. I wasn’t a young buck anymore. I’d felt every punch, push, and kick he administered. Welts and knots formed along my torso, and I winced as I gingerly skated fingertips over my sides.
I hadn’t fought back because I deserved every punch I got. But when Julianna went down, I was blinded by rage.
I didn’t regret fighting back then. No one would hurt Julianna, accidentally or otherwise, and not have to answer to me—ever.
I had a few clothes in the dryer that hadn’t been retrieved yet, so I changed into clean jeans and a black t-shirt and went to the kitchen, grabbing another bottle of water for Julianna and a beer for myself.
I sauntered back into the living room threshold in time to see Mel and Whit emerge from around the corner of the stairs.
“Oh, there you are,” I quipped, unable to stop the passive aggressiveness from spilling over. Julianna was sitting on the couch. She reached over and gently swatted my stomach in reprimand. I took a long draw from my beer, eyeing both my best friend and my sister with piercing aggression.
The look wasn’t working very well. They both stared back at me with relaxed postures and bored stares.
Whit was cleaned up, yet some blood and scuffs still stained his shirt.
Julianna seemed to be assessing him hard, and I wondered what they’d said to each other while I had been out of the room gathering her things earlier.
“Explain how you two know each other,” I said between draws from my beer bottle.
Melanie rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure how that’s any of your?—”
“Picked her up on the side of the road last night,” Whit said, meeting my gaze.
The implications of his statement, combined with the nonchalance of his tone, made me even more annoyed.
“You like knowing how it feels, Bram?” The smile on Whit’s face made it extra punchable, and I took two steps toward him before Julianna spoke.
“Bram, no. Whit, stop.” Before I could get to her, Mel was already reaching over, taking Julianna’s hand and arm, and helping her stand. “Melanie, help me to the restroom.”
“We’re going to be back in five minutes, and don’t you dare throw a single punch while we’re gone.
Talk like friends who love their sisters.
” Her voice held warning and meaning. “But also realize that those sisters are fully grown adults and make their own decisions.” And with that, I watched as Melanie led the love of my life out of the room.
Whit and I stared at each other.
“That was a crazy way to see each other for the first time in six months,” I remarked, my words laced with more sarcasm.
It broke the ice, and he laughed a little. “I guess so.”
“How’d you get here?”
“Well, I took a car to the airport,” he replied, “then I took a plane.”
“Smartass,” I murmured.
He smirked.
“It’s our bye week,” he explained. “I had to see Jules, so I came earlier than I’d said I was going to. I wanted as much time as possible. ”
“Trying to make up for lost time… I get it.” I was the one who sounded like a smart ass now, but I couldn’t help it. I’d hurt her, but so had he in his own way. I was jealous of how easily he seemed to reconcile that fact.
His feet shuffled a little. “I expected to see you. But then I got tangled up with your sister, who I didn’t know was your sister. I swear it.”
“You knew I had a sister, and I’m pretty sure you knew her name was Melanie…” I couldn’t keep the venomous sarcasm out of my voice. Whit was a notorious player, on and off the field, and Melanie didn’t roll like that. Or so I’d thought.
“She used a fake name,” he explained, running his hands over his face.
That didn’t sound like her. “And I did too. But we eventually figured out the truth. Melanie is not the point, though. She let it slip that you were driving the truck the night of the wreck. And I don’t know, Bram, I saw red.
” He shook his head like he was trying to dispel his thoughts.
“You’d been drinking, I remember. And then you wrecked, and you left her in the woods in the dark, alone.
I know it was a long time ago, but can you see where I’m pissed? ”
I couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t attack me again, so I steeled myself.
“I know I screwed up. I should have protected her for no other reason than that she was your sister, but I had a million reasons why I should have been better. I had already fallen for her by then, and still, I failed. A decent man wouldn’t have done what I did. ”
Silence sucked up all the oxygen in the room.
“That’s a beautiful speech, but I can’t deny it fucking burns me up.” Whit sat down on the edge of the sofa. I leaned against the fireplace mantle, facing him, standing still when all I wanted to do was run.
“Well, it gets worse…” I muttered, running my hand over my head. “She knew if the police came out?—”
“They would know you’d been drinking. Damn.” Whit ran his hands down his face, his elbows on his knees. “You would’ve lost your scholarship, been kicked out of football, all of it.”
I nodded. “But there’s no doubt I should have stayed with her for help.
I know that. I was a stupid, scared kid playing like a man.
I should have realized she was hurt. I shouldn’t have left even though she begged me to.
I still think about it every day.” I played through all the regrets in my mind once again.
“It was too late when I came to my senses. I almost got back to the house, and I had the guy I called take me back to her. But the ambulance had already left.”
“Then what?” Whit asked, but there was a light of caution in his eyes. He was listening, but he was guarded. I knew him well enough to know the thoughts behind that face.
I cleared my throat. “Well, I was turning myself in to the officer on site, and my father showed up. They’d called him since the truck was registered in his name. He paid them off, of course. And then he told me I only had a scholarship because he paid for one. And?—”
“What? Ok, well that’s bullshit,” Whit interrupted, his lips pursed, his features hard. “You were the best tight end in the state, if not the eastern seaboard. He was blowing smoke up your ass, making you feel like shit under his shoe.”
I shrugged. “He warned me off Julianna, too. He said if I pursued her and stayed around Grams, he’d have my scholarship revoked and make me come home. I knew if I went against him, he could find a way to ruin your career as well.”
Whit looked to the side and blew out an angry breath. I knew the feeling. “My free ride, my career….So you let go of Julianna because of me? I’m one of the reasons?”
I didn’t reply. He was right. That had sealed the deal in my mind. Losing Julianna was the worst part, but if I’d ruined Whit’s future, I would have lost Julianna anyway. At least, I thought so at the time .
“I hated every second of what happened next,” I continued.
“I lied to Julianna and told her I wasn’t interested in her romantically.
I thought it was the right thing to do. I didn’t feel good enough for her anyway.
But when I told her this after Grams’ funeral, she made me promise not to tell you I was driving because she feared you’d never forgive me.
And I kept that promise, and I didn’t tell you until now.
And she knows now I was going to tell you.
We talked about it. Actually, we fought about it. She was afraid.”
“I can’t lie, I wish you’d have told me way earlier,” he replied sullenly, playing with the leg of his jeans. “She and I haven’t been truly close since Grams died. But you and me? We have been. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me what happened this whole time.”
“I wish I had told you, too. It was so fucking difficult to keep from bursting out with it sometimes. But Julianna’s wishes meant everything to me.
” Whit looked up at me, bewildered. I continued, “I didn’t want to make anything harder on you either.
In our twisted ways, she and I were looking out for you.
” His brow furrowed, and I realized he was thinking through what I said, so I added, “Look, I don’t have a pile of shit excuses.
I have the truth. And the truth is I know I was wrong, and I’m a better man now.
” Aggravation melted from the furrow of his brow, and a calm acquiescence smoothed the hardness of his face.
“I guess I can accept that,” he muttered. “Or I can try to. It was a long time ago. It might take a while to process, I guess. But you love Julianna?”
I nodded, unable to keep the grin off my face. “I do.”
His crooked grin gave him a boyish look. “All these years, I thought you were being dramatic about her.” We both chuckled deeply, and it felt good. I could feel the wall built between would dismantle, even as my body screamed in pain from the punch fest .
“I’m crazy about her,” I confirmed, smiling like a fool, unable to hold my feelings back. “We’re going to stay together. I’ll always work to be better for her. You have my word as a brother to you.”
He nodded definitively and stood. He moved toward me, but this time, he came to me with love and respect. I released my breath when his arms came around me in a brotherly embrace. We clapped each other’s backs, leaning into the moment.
Now was the time, and I pivoted a little toward him as I spoke, low, in case Mel and Julianna were near.
“I should have told you this long ago, but I owe you more than I could ever repay. You decided to be my friend when I never gave you a reason to, and I got to experience a real family when I didn’t know that’s what I was missing.
And now I have a wife because of it. None of it would have happened if it weren’t for you.
How knows where I’d be, who I would be.” I slapped my hand on his back.
“So, thanks, man. You mean a great deal to me. Brothers for life.”
He pulled back, and I was surprised to see tears spilling onto his cheeks. My own eyes were misting over, but I was saved from ugly crying when I heard the girls shuffling back toward the living room. By the time they came back through the threshold, Whit and I had gathered ourselves.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Julianna murmured aloud when she saw Whit and me behaving amicably. I gently grabbed her arm and brought her to me for a quick kiss.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you two like this. It’s so weird,” Whit mused.
“You’ll come around,” Julianna offered. She turned toward her brother and threw her arms around him, and they hugged tightly. Whit’s face was more relieved than I’d seen in a long while.
“I missed you,” Whit whispered to her. I couldn’t see Julianna, but I heard her sniffling.
Mel watched me from the doorway, and we exchanged a knowing look.
We knew what it was like. Mel and I didn’t know what we were missing until we found each other, but it had been worth the wait.
And I hoped it was the same way for Whit and Julianna now.
Time had a funny way of bringing people together, and I knew that whatever came after this, all of us, in one way or another, would be family.