Chapter 10
TEN
My head feels like it’s being crushed as my eyes flick from Leo to the bottle he’s holding. He stares at me, horrified, while I scramble to make sense of it. I’ve never seen that bottle, and I can’t recall a time I’ve ever needed to buy antifreeze.
‘That’s not mine,’ I insist. ‘That is not mine, Leo! And why were you looking in my drawers anyway?’
He lowers his head. ‘I had to check everywhere. I’m sorry. But Ria, this is scaring me. I found it in your drawer!’ He examines the bottle as if it will provide him with an answer. ‘How did it get there?’ His face drains of colour and he drops the bottle. ‘What have you done?’
‘I’ve never seen it before, Leo. Please, you have to believe me. Someone must have put it there.’
Neither of us moves to get the bottle, and Leo’s face crumples, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.
‘It must have been someone who knows how to avoid all the cameras,’ I say.
He looks away and doesn’t seem to register my protest. ‘I’m terrified,’ he says.
‘I . . . I don’t know what to think any more.
You’ve . . . This is bizarre, Ria. It’s horrible.
Everything that’s been happening. I’m scared this move has been too much for you and that your fear and anxiety is manifesting in this . . . this behaviour.’
‘No! I’m fine, Leo. You know me.’ I walk over to him and grab his arms. ‘Look at me. I’m the same person. I would never harm an animal.’
‘But why would it be hidden in your drawer?’ he gasps. ‘This proves what happened to Willow was no accident. Ria, please, just tell me the truth. We’ll . . . work it out together. Just tell me!’
‘I am telling you the truth!’ I insist.
He sinks to the floor, gripping his temples, unable to look at me.
I glance at the bottle – I don’t want to touch it, so I leave it where it’s fallen. I sit beside Leo on the floor and reach out to him, but he pulls away. ‘You know me,’ I repeat. ‘You know I’d never hurt an animal. Why would I? Why would I do that to Willow?’
He turns to me with swollen red eyes. ‘I don’t know, Ria. But what if I don’t know you any more? The attack . . .’ He trails off. ‘I’m scared it’s changed you. What if you’re not even aware of what you’re doing?’
Leo’s words are a punch to my gut. Before we moved here he never doubted me. ‘I loved Willow!’ I don’t recognise my own voice – it belongs to someone who is unsure of herself, and slivers of doubt spread like a disease.
Finally, Leo looks at me. ‘Ria, we have to face facts. The accident could have caused you more trauma than we realised.’ He throws up his hands.
‘This is . . . It’s an impossible situation.
This place was supposed to be a wonderful new life for us, but look at what’s happened.
And now Giles’s dog.’ He closes his eyes.
‘We owe everything to Giles. He’s the reason we got this house.
You know how many people put offers in, way above the price we paid.
But he sold it to us. The last house in Silverleaf Heights! ’
I want to scream that it’s just a house and we could live anywhere.
We could go back to London with its heavy traffic and bustling streets.
I never feared being there, even after Peter Harvey broke into the flat.
But here, I am constantly looking over my shoulder.
Yet I say none of this to Leo; he is already suffering enough.
And now the stone-cold fact remains: someone poisoned Giles’s dog and planted evidence in my bedroom.
I reach out to hold Leo’s arm, and this time he doesn’t flinch, but his body stiffens. ‘We shouldn’t have moved here,’ I say. ‘All these things have been happening, and I—’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s not this place, Ria, can’t you see that?’ He stands and, picking up the bottle of antifreeze, leaves the room.
I call after him, ‘Where are you going? Are you telling Giles you found that?’, already fearing Leo’s answer.
He turns back. ‘How can I tell him? I wouldn’t do that to you.’
I want to believe that this is the only reason, but even if Leo does want to protect me, there are other reasons he may want to keep quiet about discovering that bottle.
If the neighbours knew, we’d be hated around here and they’d want us out.
No matter how much he won’t admit it, Leo won’t give up on our life here.
Despite knowing this, I say, ‘We could just leave. Put the house on the market. I’ll tell Johnny we’ll have to move back when his agreement is up.
He’ll understand. And we wouldn’t have to stay in the flat for long – just until we find somewhere else.
It will be easier to buy somewhere if we’re not in a chain. And I’ll be fine living there again.’
‘You don’t get it,’ Leo says, his tone fuelled with sadness. ‘You might be fine in Canning Town, but I won’t. This is where I’m meant to be. Where we’re meant to be. This place is everything I’ve worked so hard for, and I can’t just walk away from it. I thought you knew me. Loved me.’
‘I do love you.’ I rush over to him, but he wrests himself from me.
‘Just don’t. I need to be alone right now. I’ll sleep in one of the spare rooms tonight.’
I watch him leave, our marriage crumbling around us, a haze of confusion left in his wake.
But there’s one thing I’m sure of: someone is sending me a warning and they don’t want to be ignored.
And if they’re capable of poisoning a dog and breaking into my house to plant the evidence, what else are they willing to do?
Leo is gone when I wake the next morning, even though it’s only 5 a.m. Yesterday, I gave him the space he wanted and I was hoping that would have been enough time, that he’d be ready to talk now.
There’s a message from him on my phone, telling me he’s gone to the hospital and will probably be home late.
It’s strangely formal, but I remind myself he needs this time to process everything.
I can understand his doubts about me; he’s not in my head, he can’t know for sure that I’m innocent of poisoning Willow, as much as he wants to believe me.
The emptiness of the house suffocates me as I make my way downstairs, knowing I won’t be able to stomach anything but coffee for breakfast. It was bad enough knowing that Willow almost died in our kitchen, but it’s made even worse by knowing someone deliberately gave her antifreeze and wanted it to look like I’d done it.
To silence me. It wasn’t just my paranoia making me wonder if that was what happened to Willow.
It was to stop me asking questions about that woman.
I’m sure now that this is nothing to do with Peter Harvey.
When I’ve made coffee, I sit at the kitchen island and pull out my phone, checking his Facebook page, as I’ve done several times since my attack, just to find out where he is. There is a photo of him on a beach in Gran Canaria with his partner, a woman who must surely know what he did.
It’s not likely to be him, then, when it looks like he has moved on. Everything leads back to Silverleaf Heights. But my only lead is that Facebook message from Alex Vale, someone with no online presence, someone I have no way of finding.
Eleanor had warned me to look after Willow well, and within hours the poor dog was in a critical condition. After the barbecue she was up late, at Giles’s house, for some reason – I need to start with her. I can’t have Leo thinking I’m losing my mind, doing things as heinous as poisoning a dog.
My body feels sluggish, weighed down with fear, as I shower and dress.
Before Leo found the bottle of antifreeze in my drawer, I had contemplated cancelling my appointment with Ethan this morning, but now it’s more important than ever that I get checked out.
I need to prove to Leo that there’s nothing wrong with me.
As I leave the house, I see across the green Eleanor and Rufus standing in their driveway, deep in conversation.
I watch as Eleanor shakes her head and looks away from Rufus, and it reminds me of the argument I witnessed her having with Georgia the other day.
What is it with Eleanor? Rufus storms to his car, leaving Eleanor staring after him with folded arms.
She turns back to the house, so doesn’t notice me silently rush over to her until I’m standing right behind her and call her name.
Eleanor jumps. ‘What are you doing?’ she asks. ‘You just came from nowhere. Scared the hell out of me.’ She backs away.
‘I’m sorry. Can we talk?’
‘I was just about to go out.’
I look down at her slippers, and the joggers that are no doubt designer leisurewear. ‘Please, Eleanor. Just five minutes.’
She sighs. ‘I’m really busy, Ria. It will have to wait, I’m afraid.’ She turns away and pushes open her front door, stepping inside.
‘I saw you leaving Giles’s house,’ I say. ‘In the middle of the night. Does Rufus know you were there?’
Eleanor freezes, slowly turning to me, her mouth hanging open.
This is it: I’ve given her no choice but to talk to me. I step forward, ready to tell her that it’s none of my business what she was doing, ready to ask for her help.
Until she disappears inside, slamming the door in my face.
The Tube is stifling, hot bodies crammed together, everyone trying but failing not to invade personal space.
It’s a relief when I step outside Bond Street station and take in a lungful of tepid air.
The further I get from Thursley, the more my unease evaporates.
I am at home here in the crowded streets and densely packed buildings. This is home.
Harley Street is just a short distance from here, and as I walk, I try to focus only on my breathing. It’s cooler at this early hour, but the cloudless sky promises another day of intense heat.