EPILOGUE
One Year Later
I sit on the balcony and bask in the late-May sun, letting it warm my skin.
This flat in Canning Town was never a place to fear but one to feel gratitude for. I look across the communal lawn, an open space in the middle of London. Nothing excessive, just the right amount.
Today is a milestone. One year since I left Silverleaf and came back to my flat. Johnny was more than happy to find somewhere else to live. He’s a good friend, and I’ve come to appreciate the decent people in my life more than ever.
The buzzer sounds and I check my phone. She’s right on time.
I go back inside but hesitate when I reach the intercom.
Is this a good idea? I’ve spent the last year coming to terms with what happened in Silverleaf Heights.
A huge question mark still hangs over my time there and I’m not sure I want to know all the answers.
I buzz her in. She’s come all this way, so I have no choice. I open the door and wait, hearing her footsteps on the stairs.
She appears at the top, and the first thing I’m struck by is how different she looks. Her hair is darker now, a chestnut brown instead of the ash-blonde it was last year. It’s hard to tell which of the two is her natural colour. She looks healthier, too, not as frail.
‘Hi,’ she says, hesitating on my doorstep, even though she is the one who pushed for this.
‘You look well. Come in.’
I make coffee for Eleanor and tea for me, and we take it outside to the balcony.
‘It’s lovely here, Ria,’ she says. ‘It feels like a real home.’
I thank her and take a sip of tea. ‘Eleanor, why did you want to see me? I’ve put everything behind me.
I don’t want to think about Silverleaf. I’ve had nothing to do with anyone from there for the last year.
Even Leo, unless something required us to speak.
’ I walked away that night and never looked back.
Even now I still get emails from him, long ones that I delete without reading.
All I know is that he’s still a surgical oncologist but he no longer works in London.
I assume he’s moved closer to his mum in Leeds, but I haven’t wanted to know for sure.
‘I’ve left it all behind, too,’ she says. ‘We moved a few months ago. It took ages for us to sell the house. And it nearly fell through at the last minute. We’re in Oxford now. And Rufus has a new job. A real one, this time.’ She laughs, but it sounds forced.
‘You forgave him for lying, then?’
She takes her time to answer. ‘Forgiveness heals us, Ria. If we don’t forgive, then resentment just eats away at us.’
Eleanor is right, but I will always struggle to forgive Leo.
She gestures to my laptop. ‘So you’re teaching again?’
‘Yes. A different school, though.’ It had been easier than I thought to step back into the classroom, and it’s helped me move on.
‘Aren’t you curious at all?’ she says. ‘About what happened to everyone?’
I don’t tell her that it had eaten away at me for months, and the only way to stop it was to push it out of my mind.
Especially when the police couldn’t get the evidence they needed to arrest Declan for my attack.
Georgia was adamant that it was her in the video, so all they could charge Declan with was witness intimidation.
His suspended sentence was of little comfort to me, although he has to live with the fear of prison hanging over him.
And he’s not allowed to visit his mother in prison.
He should have been held to account for Alicia’s murder – the thought that he’s got away with it torments me every day – but there wasn’t enough evidence to link him to her flat.
No witnesses, no DNA, just a case that quickly went cold.
I told them that Declan had admitted it to me, but without evidence, there was nothing they could do.
Eleanor doesn’t wait for me to reply. ‘Patrick Murphy is back in Ireland. Not sure how Georgia feels about having no one to visit her in prison. And Xander moved to London, after they finally found Kimmy’s body.’
Because, of course, while Georgia had confessed, she’d never known where Kimmy’s body was; only Leo and Giles knew that.
I had tried to make Leo talk to the police, was on the cusp of telling them what he did, when the dogs had found the body.
I should have felt vindicated, in getting justice for Kimmy, but I didn’t.
Giles still got off scot-free, as did Declan.
I know it was him who attacked me, not Georgia, and it was probably him who killed Kimmy too.
It’s Declan who should be in prison. This is why I don’t want to think about Silverleaf Heights.
‘Xander came to see me a few months ago,’ I say. I hadn’t planned to tell Eleanor this, but somehow it feels natural to open up to her.
She raises her eyebrows, slanting her head. ‘And what did he say?’
‘He was really cut up about Kimmy’s death. Said he’ll never get over it. And Alicia’s too. He said he regretted ending their relationship and blames himself.’
‘Well, I suppose, in his defence, he couldn’t have known what would happen.’ Eleanor is being diplomatic – I’m sure she believes the narrative that Alicia took her own life.
‘He said he only left her because he didn’t want her to get involved in the Silverleaf trouble, though I’m sure his actual reasons were more selfish than that.’
She nods. ‘There’s a lot to be said for men like Rufus. The gentle ones who maybe to the outside world don’t seem like strong men, but treat their partners with kindness.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘Even if they do lie when they’re desperate. Xander always had that streak in him.’
‘Can we talk about something else?’ I say. I like Eleanor, and in any other circumstances, we might have become good friends.
‘Okay,’ she says. ‘Good idea.’
I study her and realise that Eleanor wants to have some kind of friendship with me, yet I make no effort with her. ‘Shall we go for lunch?’ I offer. She’s come all this way, so it’s the least I can do.
Eleanor beams. ‘Yes, that would be lovely. I can’t drink, though. We’ve just had another round of IVF. I’ve agreed with Rufus that it will be our last.’
I give her a hug, pleased to hear something positive.
When we get outside and head towards the Tube, I glance across the road and see a familiar face. My body heats up. It’s a face I thought I’d never see again. As I watch, the figure walks on, but turns back to look at me.
Peter Harvey.