26. Kameron
Chapter twenty-six
Kameron
Adding Nalini to the household had gone so seamlessly, it felt like she’d been living here for months instead of a few days.
I’d tried to force her to relax and decompress, but I still found her doing dishes or tidying up.
Not to mention, her search for a new place to live was leading her nowhere, and it was starting to feel like it might become a problem.
One that involved kissing her again, when I wasn’t sure if we should.
That problem was only made worse by the fact the purple dress she'd tried on was sitting in a bag in my closet.
I hadn’t intended to get it; it was clear she didn’t have a place to wear it, and buying it was probably overstepping.
Nalini was justifiably trying to stay on a budget, and I appreciated she'd been worried about both our bank accounts. While I could help her out in an emergency without things getting tight, I appreciated she didn’t take my card and run.
My earlier fears of her only wanting my money after the book incident were all resolved — and I was starting to think she might’ve been joking about me buying those books, and I’d felt so guilty I didn’t clock it.
But the dress? It was made for her. The purple highlighted the warmth of her brown skin, the fit made her look like a goddess, and the fact she’d never owned something that nice was the final straw before I snuck back and bought it.
I knew Nalini was practical and would never buy something for herself unless she saw an immediate need for it.
Christmas was coming up, and I knew I could give it to her as a present. But now I was second-guessing myself and wondering if it’d be perceived as some sort of romantic gesture. Especially when a large part of me wanted it to be.
I was glad I had a therapy session later where I could start to unpack the knot of conflicting emotions I felt every time I saw her.
I wanted to be honest with Nalini. I agreed she shouldn’t be a replacement for Julia, but I also wanted to treat the woman who’d breathed life back into me with something beautiful.
My emotions seemed at war with each other, and I needed to find some way to start getting them out.
Without thinking, I pulled out my guitar and started playing.
It was the first time I’d touched the instrument since Julia passed, and time felt like it stood still.
A melody and chord progression that had been a whisper in the back of my head for months leaped onto the strings, and before long, a notebook was laid out on my bed so I could jot down thoughts on lyrics.
I didn’t know how long I’d worked as the song came out, a song about feeling something new and the guilt that came from moving on.
I hadn’t written anything in years; I’d forgotten the way they poured out of me.
When I finally stood up, my body reminded me I was thirty-two and not twenty-one.
My back was screaming, my legs were numb, and I was certain I should’ve gone to the bathroom an hour ago.
I needed to stretch or else my back would start spasming, and my fingers were burning from the ghosts of long-gone callouses and the friction of the guitar strings.
There was something about writing in this house that brought back some of the magic we had when RaineFall first started. It reminded me of how things used to be, how maybe if we actually worked on our issues, it might be again.
I headed into the kitchen to make myself lunch, finding Nalini settled on the couch with my laptop open and checklists surrounding her.
“I didn’t realize you still wrote songs,” she said, dipping the grilled cheese she’d burned into a bowl of tomato soup, “I heard you playing.”
“How’d you know I was writing?” I asked, walking into the kitchen to find something to eat.
“I was there for you writing like half of Fire & Raine,“ Nalini chuckled. “I remember what your process sounded like.” I hadn’t realized my songwriting process was obvious or she’d be able to clock exactly what I was doing.
She’d been the first listener to so many of our songs, long before we signed our record deal or our first concert tarnished her name.
Nalini probably would’ve been our biggest fan if Jack hadn’t thrown it all into the fire.
I wasn’t sure how long it’d be before he got out of rehab and got his devices back.
But if we were going to move on, I had to make sure he wouldn’t do it again.
That he wouldn’t torch the things or people who were important to us just because he was hurt.
Nalini was the biggest example of it happening, but it wasn’t the only one.
He’d have to work with us, instead of against us.
“I actually haven’t written in a while,” I admitted, staring at the poor pan she’d made her grilled cheese in, and I wondered how so much of the burned bread had somehow fused itself to it.
”I’m not sure if it’s going to go anywhere,” I continued before deciding to make PB&J, “or if it’s just going to be for me. ”
“No big solo career?” Nalini teased, “I guess that’s not the best idea. Jack would probably take it personally.”
“Probably,” I agreed, “but I’m working towards not thinking about whether or not he approves of my decisions. But even then, I don’t have what it takes to be a solo artist. I loved RaineFall, I loved being a trio, but being the only center of attention? I can pass.”
“You’re the only person I know who’d say playing a tour of sold-out stadiums wasn’t being the center of attention,” Nalini pointed out as I walked back in with my sandwich.
“Everyone was there to see all three of you. And I might not have followed closely, and I may have blocked every single RaineFall fan account on social media. But I have no doubt you were as important to the success of the band as your brothers were. They wouldn’t have had their songs if it weren’t for you. ”
“I thought you were RaineFall’s biggest hater,” I jokingly scoffed, “With that kind of title, I don’t think you’re supposed to be saying nice things to their songwriter.”
“Excuse you, I most certainly am,” she insisted, a giant teasing smile on her face, “but even if I hated the band, it broke up years ago. And I’ve mostly forgiven the three of you.”
I blanched because, as much as it seemed like RaineFall was over, it wasn’t entirely true. Jack’s suggestion had slowly opened me up to the idea, and I had a feeling the same thing happened for Noah.
“Kam…” Nalini tentatively said, immediately noticing my hesitation, “Is it not over?”
“I don’t know,” I quietly answered, and I watched as the carefree attitude she’d used to joke around immediately disappeared.
It would’ve been easy to pull out the talking points from a few days ago and say there weren’t any plans, which technically was the truth.
But Nalini deserved to actually know what was going on, instead of the version we'd used as damage control. “We’ve been floating the idea for a few months, but at the moment we don’t have any definite plans to. ”
Nalini’s body was so straight, her eyes wide, that it was clear her anxiety had been triggered as she processed the information. I’d been joking when I’d called her RaineFall’s biggest hater, but it was clear that while she'd forgiven me, the band was a completely different thing entirely.
“Oh,” she finally said. Her walls that had finally come down rose faster than I realized was possible.
“Well,” she said, a bite back in her voice I hadn’t heard since I'd first moved here, “if you do decide to bring it back, can you promise you won’t announce it until I’m out of your house?
I don’t need to be caught up in a media storm again.
” Without another word, Nalini flew off the couch and into the guest room, practically slamming the door behind her.
I knew telling her the truth was the right thing to do.
Last time, she’d been kept in the dark, and it'd hurt her. I wanted to make sure that if things happened again, she’d be more protected and prepared.
That there’d be a plan in place to keep that stupid fifteen-year-old song from hurting her.
And if it were up to me, I’d never play it again.
I paused for a moment, realizing it could be up to me.
If we brought the band back, retiring the song could be a non-negotiable.
No matter what happened between us, if I'd just ruined any chance of it, the least we could do was bury the song. It probably wasn’t enough for her, but it at least could be a start.
A way for her to become more comfortable with the whole thing.
I didn’t want to lose her again, for more reasons than I could list, and as I ate the last of my sandwich, I sighed as my alarm went off to log into my therapy appointment. At least I was going to have a ton to talk about.
Nalini and I agreed I’d go to most of the Festival volunteer meetings.
Adding another thing to her plate didn’t seem like the smartest decision, and I couldn’t see the meetings being important enough where she’d need to be there.
Not to mention, if there was another disaster, I thought it was better she avoid it.
Especially when she hadn't left her room the rest of the day after our RaineFall conversation.
While the room had been packed for the initial meeting, everyone not from Briar Hill thankfully didn’t make an appearance this time around.
I’d planned on tucking myself into a corner, getting the information, and leaving.
It wasn’t supposed to be very long anyway, and I felt like the move was to make myself as nondescript as possible.
“Kam! Hi!” Maya said, sitting down next to me, immediately ruining my plans.
“Ms. Phillips,” I nodded, adjusting myself so I was as far away from her as I could get with her in the next chair.
“Can you believe what happened at the last meeting?” she asked, clearly not taking the hint I didn’t want to talk to her. “Who do you think leaked your location?”
“No clue,” I said, shaking my head — even though I'd been certain it'd been her before. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt that way, but my suspicions only grew the longer she sat next to me.
“Well, if it happens again, I promise I’ll protect you,” Maya assured me, giving me a smile that felt like she was referencing some inside joke I didn’t know.
I sat in as close to silence as I could, Maya attempting to strike up conversation and me giving her only one-word answers.
I attempted to tell her how I felt like we should keep our relationship professional considering she was Cassidy’s teacher, but was blown off so quickly I wasn’t sure she’d even heard my words.
“Kameron,” Peri said, coming up behind us as both Maya and I jumped, “Come here.”
I felt like I’d been called to the Principal’s Office, and Peri was about to expel me from my volunteer spot.
She didn’t say anything else, leading me to the other side of the room, to a seat by Misty.
The angry librarian leaned against the wall, her arms folded next to her, while Nalini’s other best friend smiled at me.
“Sorry, I can be scary, but Peri’s scarier,” Misty explained, “and it was clear Maya was causing problems.”
“She’s one step away from stalking you,” Peri added, keeping her glare on the woman. “We haven’t had many crazy RaineFall fans in town since the summer you left, but looks like Maya slipped under the radar.”
“Why rescue me?” I asked, and Peri shrugged.
“Because you’re just trying to get involved with the town and help, right?” Misty said, as if it were obvious, “And I heard a rumor Maya’s going to try and announce you’re performing. It’ll be harder to do it if you’re not sitting next to her.”
“She… what?” I asked, shaking my head. “I thought I was judging karaoke?”
“Oh, you are,” Misty confirmed. “I told Mary-Marigold not to make any volunteer changes without talking to you first. But I think Maya’s got it in her head she can secretly change everything without everyone’s approval.” I grimaced as the meeting got started.
Nalini warned me everyone had strong opinions on the map of the Festival, but I hadn’t expected it to play out exactly how she’d described.
Mr. Robinson brought up moving everything, Mary-Marigold played along, and suddenly shouting matches broke out over how different booths were being slighted.
On top of it, a few booths were being cut, their volunteers dropping because of the fire.
By the end, the map looked almost exactly like it had at the start of the meeting, but everyone radiated exhaustion.
I’d thought we were done until Maya started suggesting new ideas: ones that made the grumbling in the room only get louder.
She was in the middle of explaining why it was in our best interest to contact influencers and have a whole photobooth for them when Mary-Marigold cut her off — compromising that she’d let Maya design the posters if she’d put off pitching her ideas until next year.
The teacher smiled, and in my gut I realized she’d gotten exactly what she wanted.
Especially when she looked over at me. I had a feeling Maya was going to keep trying to make me perform, and I was starting to think signing up to help was a mistake — especially when it’d look like I was going along with her ideas.
I sighed. It'd become clear Maya wasn’t going to stop pushing, and at this point, I knew if I wanted it to stop, I needed to give her as little access as possible.
Which meant another meeting with her boss.
I’d let Cassidy stay in her class until the semester, but after that?
She was moving, and I was fully prepared to cause a scene to get my way.
I couldn’t trust her around my daughter, because Peri was right.
I was starting to get the feeling Maya would end up stalking me.