Nalini
Chapter thirty-one
Fifteen years later, it was amazing how easily Jackson Raine got in my head.
His warnings about hurting Kam constantly played in the back of my mind.
But with every day, with every kiss, it became easier to ignore.
We’d decided not to tell Cassidy, not when we were still figuring it out ourselves.
I was still apartment hunting, though it was less of an excuse to leave, and more because I wanted to make sure we’d have our own spaces.
Plus, I wouldn’t let myself become fully dependent on a man I wasn’t even officially dating.
However, it didn’t stop us from falling into a comfortable routine: we’d both write in the morning, spend lunch together, and in the afternoons I’d apartment hunt, argue with the insurance company, or complete whatever else was on my “get my life back on track” to-do list. And he’d pick up Cassidy from school, help her with homework, and do whatever other Dad things he needed to focus on.
After she went to bed, we’d talk for hours, like there was nobody in the world but us.
It felt perfect, and selfish, and I felt like I was living in a dream and one day I’d wake up to real life telling me it was all a fairy tale. Everything felt lighter, which Misty definitely noticed when she pulled me into the equipment room after yoga.
“Are you hooking up with Kam?” she whispered, peeking out the door to make sure nobody might overhear us.
“What? No!” I immediately protested, even though I could feel the heat of my cheeks blushing, “We’re trying things out. Dating things. Which absolutely does not involve hooking up with him. You know I’m demi, and I’m not going to rush into that.”
“I know, I just don’t want you to miss your chance,” Misty said, shaking her head. “Even though slow is good for you. At least you’re finally doing something. I really thought you and Kam were going to be dancing around each other forever.”
“Yeah, it’s for the best, because I’m still looking for a place to live,” I said, “Plus my gut keeps telling me it’s too good to be true.”
“Is it your gut or is it your stupid imaginary mom-demon whispering over your shoulder?” Misty said, rolling her eyes, “You’re allowed to be happy without thinking you should be miserable all the time.”
“I know, and surprisingly it’s not that. Or not fully that,” I sighed. “It’s Kam and his brothers are legitimately thinking about bringing RaineFall back, and I’m terrified. Kam’s been songwriting nonstop. And after last time…”
“Did you know Kam’s never actually said Cassidy’s name on social media?
” Misty interrupted, “He hasn’t ever posted about her either.
He didn’t even do those faceless baby feet pictures, or that thing parents do where they put emojis over the baby’s faces.
None of it. If it wasn’t for the fact Julia had been photographed pregnant, I don’t think they would’ve even said they were parents.
Cassidy has been completely off limits, to the point I don’t think most fans would know she’s his daughter if they didn’t see her with him. ”
“I didn’t… I still have all his socials blocked,” I admitted, though it was easier to imagine social media didn’t exist when it came to him. “But what does that have to do with anything?”
“He'd absolutely do the same for you,” Misty insisted. “If you value your privacy, he’ll make sure you get it. Yeah, it didn’t happen the first time around, but he’s obviously learned since then!
I understand you’re worried about ending up in the center of a media frenzy again.
But if he’d do this for his daughter, why wouldn’t he do that for you? ”
Misty made a good point, even though I didn’t want to admit it.
But more importantly, without even realizing it, she’d backed up all the things Kam had said.
It gave me a sliver of hope I'd been overreacting, and I could be confident in the two of us. At least, until my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of frantic footsteps leaving the room. I didn’t want to be paranoid and immediately assume someone was listening to us, but Misty opening the door to find nobody there gave me the familiar sense I’d been spied on — and the relief that'd started to creep in immediately dissipated.
“If this conversation leaks, I’m screwed,” I muttered, covering my mouth with a yoga block and screaming into it.
“Someone probably forgot their water bottle; it happens all the time,” Misty insisted, “and if they leak it, I’ll give Kam the class list, and he’ll figure out who to sue. Because if they expose you, they also expose Cassidy, and I think that’s the one thing that'd make him go on an angry rampage.”
I’d debated putting the YWG on a December hiatus; however, it was the one responsibility in my life that didn’t feel like work.
I wanted one routine thing, one thing that felt normal — so despite everyone insisting I didn’t have to, I kept it going.
Besides, the kids really only needed a set of adult eyes in the room to make sure they didn’t get out of hand.
But their creativity had been rubbing off on me, and the more I was around them, the more ideas I got for my own writing.
The first draft of my book was almost done, and I had a feeling I’d be able to finish it before I went back to work.
I’d planned to work on it today, until my conversation with Misty had thrown me so off my game I didn’t know what to do about it.
Especially when I couldn’t shake the feeling someone had been listening through the door.
I’d taken my emergency anxiety meds, and they were starting to calm me down, and I figured it was better to text Kam and let him know than to try and figure it out myself.
He’d insisted we'd figure everything out together, and there wasn’t a better time to test that theory than now.
Nalini
Do you know how to kill a news story?
The Terminator
I don’t, but my publicist does. Why?
I’d forgotten he typically stayed in the library when he dropped off Cassidy, and he popped up to give me a questioning look through the window.
Nalini
Misty thinks I’m being paranoid, but I was telling her about us.
And she was telling me about Cassidy not being on your socials, and then suddenly someone ran out of the room. Could be nothing but…
The Terminator
There’ve been more people than I want to admit who’ve tried to leak Cassidy’s name and picture to the news. Every one of them has been pulled.
I’ll make sure Mel knows to look out for it.
Nalini
Thanks
I might've also mentioned you’re thinking of getting RaineFall back together
Any of that would be a story, but all three?
The Terminator
Mel will take care of it. If it’s a problem, she’ll fix it.
As soon as the message came through, I saw Kam on his feet leaving the library, looking like he was dialing someone on his phone.
I didn’t envy the conversation he'd have with his publicist, but I still felt guilty I was the cause of it.
There was still a chance everything I'd been worried about, everything Kam had tried to assure me wouldn’t happen, was one leak away from being out in the world.
I watched the kids write; the joy they got from the activity was typically infectious, but now it just made me wish I could be like them. Instead, all I could think about was how I was a breath away from everything being ruined.