Chapter 14 Damar Scott
DAMAR SCOTT
BEING IN THE church was so damn suffocating.
The pews were filled with Jeremy’s friends and family.
Their faces were engraved with sorrow. At the end of the row, Stephanie was wailing.
Her high-pitched screams stabbed through the air like a knife.
She was wrapped in the arms of her boyfriend and father.
Both of them tried to hold her together while she fell apart.
Sitting there staring at Jeremy’s casket, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that all of this had spiraled from messing around with Mia.
I would’ve never thought one choice would end with me murdering not just Mia, but my own flesh and blood too.
But it wasn’t my fault. If Mia had just been cool, none of this would have happened.
And all Jeremy had to do was mind his business and be obedient, and he’d still be alive.
For days, I’d waited to feel remorseful, but all I felt was irritation with Jeremy for forcing my hand. He’d left me no choice.
It hurt to lose my son, but he’d brought this on himself. If he’d stayed in his lane, he’d still be breathing. Instead, he’d made a decision that cost him his life. I didn’t put him in that coffin—his own choices did.
Luckily, Jeremy’s association with the 111 Boyz hid what I had done.
His death had been immediately linked to the streets.
Though his homies insisted that his murder couldn’t have been related to their crew, Stephanie and our families assumed that Jeremy was killed because of his association with them—or the streets had gotten to our child.
Comforting everyone had been the greatest act I had ever pulled off. I offered my condolences, cried with them, and wrapped my arms around those who needed support. I could see the pain in their eyes, feel their despair, and yet I was the one who had caused this tragedy.
As I glanced around the church, my eyes landed on Mythic sitting nearby with Lelani. Every time I looked at him, I felt myself about to explode.
When Aviana told me she’d stepped out with Mythic for her birthday, I had been consumed with the going through her phone ever since.
I could hardly focus on anything else. Each message I read only pissed me off more.
Things still seemed friendly between them, but I could feel the tension in each message they sent each other.
She repeatedly thanked him for the necklace he had given her, which she hadn’t mentioned to me.
The first time she was hiding something from me related to Mythic.
It felt like the start of what I had been fearing all along.
And I refused to let Mythic win my woman.
I had a right to Aviana, and I was determined to keep her.
The way he was always around felt like an insult.
He was a constant challenge that taunted me to prove myself worthy of my wife.
Every time I caught a glimpse of him, the territorial instinct in me flared up.
I wanted to confront him, to lay down the law and remind him that Aviana was mine, but I couldn’t do that without revealing my own secrets.
Instead, I simmered in my frustration and forced myself to focus on the service while stewing in anger.
I was now more determined than ever to protect what was mine, no matter the cost.
AVIANA SCOTT
As the repast carried on, I finally found a moment to myself. There had been a nonstop line of friends and loved ones giving their condolences, but finally, I found myself alone at the table sitting in front of a plate I hadn’t touched.
Sighing, I stood and hoped that I could slip out of the hall without anyone noticing me.
I was craving a breath of fresh air to clear the heaviness that clung to me like a veil.
Being at Jeremy’s funeral felt surreal. It had been an unmistakable reminder of how short life could be.
Each moment I spent there pulled at my heart, making me reflect on my own life.
In addition, I had come on my menstrual cycle that morning, so my hormones were making me even more emotional.
As soon as I stepped into the vestibule, I bumped right into Lelani, who was just coming back from the bathroom. We almost collided, but I caught myself and managed a small smile. “Lelani, hey.”
She smiled back, her eyes soft but tired.
“Hey, Aviana,” she said gently. “I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.”
“Thank you,” I replied, my heart aching a little. “I appreciate that. And, listen, I’m praying for you. You got this.”
Although she had the man of my dreams, I truly felt sorry that she was fighting cancer, especially at such a young age. I knew that she was wracked with fear since she’d lost two family members to cancer as well.
Lelani’s smile tightened, but she nodded. “Girl, I’m taking it day by day. Thank you, though. It means a lot.”
We shared a smile before she turned and headed back inside.
I took a deep breath as I stepped outside. It was a brief moment of calm, just what I needed before going back in.
I leaned against the cool brick of the building, letting the warmth of the June sun soothe me.
Watching Jeremy’s casket lower into the ground made me feel like I was wasting my life.
I had yet to pursue the career I truly wanted, and watching Mythic with Lelani all day made it painfully clear that I didn’t have the man I truly desired either. The thought nagged at me.
Just then, the doors of the church swung open, and there was Mythic, stepping out in a fitted black polo and jeans. The diamonds decorating his body sparkled in the sunlight, catching my eye as he approached. Relief covered his features when he finally spotted me.
“There you are.” His voice was soothing, wrapping around me like the warmest embrace. “Why are you out here alone?”
“I just needed some air and some time to think.”
He raised an eyebrow. “About what?”
I looked up at the sky, taking a relaxing deep breath. “About how short life is. Jeremy’s death has really made me realize that I want to live my life to the fullest. But I’m not. I don’t have the career I want, and I don’t have you.”
My heart raced as I spoke those words. The confession hung in the air between us. My eyes left the clear blue sky and found Mythic. Surprise blanketed his face as my honesty settled in. “Avi,” he began, clearly taken aback, “what do you mean you don’t have me?”
“I’ve never stopped thinking about you,” I confessed, my voice trembling. “I’ve always loved you, but I’m in a marriage that deserves my commitment. Damar hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s not perfect, but he’s been a good husband. The only thing he’s done wrong is not being you.”
Mythic stepped closer and wrapped me in his arms. The grief faded as I drowned in his scent. For a moment, everything felt right, and I could have stayed there forever, feeling safe and cherished. But reality crashed down as I remembered where we were, and I reluctantly pulled away.
“We can’t be seen like this,” I murmured with a shaky breath.
“I know,” he replied as his eyes searched mine.
His gaze made my feelings spill out like a dam bursting. “I’ve always loved you, Mythic. My feelings for you never changed, no matter how much time has passed. I crave you.”
His intense, steadfast gaze burned into me.
“I love you too, Aviana. I need you in a way that consumes me.” The heat of his stare made my heart race.
Exhilaration and nerves coursed through me.
I felt exposed under his glare, yet strangely safe.
“I love you enough to respect however you choose to handle your feelings for me.” His tone softened as he searched my eyes for understanding.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He nodded, the corner of his mouth lifting in a gentle smile. “Let’s go back inside.”
I felt a twinge of reluctance at the thought of leaving this bubble we’d created, but I sighed and agreed. “Okay.”
He gave me an encouraging smile. He squeezed my hand softly and quickly, causing me to swoon. But before I could completely unravel, he opened the large door of the event space.
As we walked back inside, I noticed Lelani craning her neck to watch the front door. Her eyes locked onto us as we entered.
Before we parted ways, Mythic looked at me with those intense eyes and said, “If you get a chance, call me this evening after you get settled.”
“Okay.”
He stared at me long enough for someone to notice. Then luckily, he finally walked away. I watched him for a moment, noticing how he turned to glance back. I felt a twinge of reluctance as I began to walk away. It felt like I was leaving a constant state of bliss.
As I turned my gaze back, I noticed Lelani staring at us with an unreadable expression.
I turned away as a knot formed in my stomach, knowing that I was stepping back into a reality filled with complications and unspoken truths. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but the peace I had just felt with Mythic clung to me.
After Jeremy’s repast, Damar insisted that we stop by our home to get more personal items. Renovations were due to start soon on our bedroom, but I was honestly enjoying the luxury of the hotel and wasn’t pressed to return to basic living.
As Damar and I drove home, I sat in the passenger seat, consumed by the heaviness of the day.
Now that all of the family and friends were gone, it was just the two of us, facing the somber reality of our lives without Jeremy.
I could feel Damar’s deep sorrow. I felt so alone, so I knew that Damar especially did.
We were both lost in our own grief. I knew that I had to set aside my feelings for Mythic for now.
I needed to be there for Damar, to support him through this dark time.
As we approached our neighborhood, a sharp pain shot through my stomach. I winced, cringing at the sudden cramp.
Damar glanced over, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“I have cramps,” I admitted reluctantly.