Chapter XXV #2
The words smart like a slap to the face.
Tears prick my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.
“They revere you, Goddess,” I say in a small voice.
“They look at me only as a vessel. You are the one the people of Athens love. They have always loved you. I saw it at Panathenaia, I see it every time we go into the city to give out food. It is you they thank, not me.” I pause, then add: “They know who loves them most, who protects them.”
Athena eyes me for a moment and several emotions pass over her face, too quickly for me to assess. When she speaks again, her voice has softened.
“I am…sorry.”
I start. In all her years, I’m not sure Athena has ever apologized to anyone, for anything. She crosses the room so that she’s standing before me. Suddenly she looks very tired.
“Mortals are capricious,” she says. “When you do answer their prayers, they love and revere you. When you do not, they hate you and curse your name. It is, at times, exhausting.”
I have no reply for that.
“Do you know how we gods—Olympians and the like—maintain our power?” she asks. “Have your parents ever explained it?”
I shake my head.
“Our power comes from faith,” she says softly. “The more people who believe in us, and the more fervently they believe, the stronger we become. When fewer people believe in us, we grow weaker. We perform miracles and great deeds to ensure they do not forget us, to ensure our survival.”
I’ve always pictured Athena as indomitable, too strong to ever fall. Now, for the first time, I see a weakness in her armor, in the armor of all gods and Olympians. They may live forever, but their immortality has limitations.
“That seems like a high price to pay,” I whisper.
Athena’s smile is wry, but I detect a sorrow behind her gray eyes. “It is,” she says quietly. “I’m not sure I’ve ever told anyone that before.”
I don’t know what to say, and Athena turns to me.
“You are a promising young woman, Medusa,” she says warmly. “I have no doubt that you will do great things, but you must remember your place. It doesn’t do well for women to be too ambitious. Do you understand what I mean?”
I don’t. For the second time, Athena has said something I don’t understand at all, but I don’t admit that. I only bow my head.
“Yes, Goddess.”
That earns a small smile, a real one. Without another word, Athena pats my cheek, then leaves me alone in the acolytes’ quarters.
That night, I go to the beach again.
I don’t know exactly when I decide to do it; my feet seem to carry me there of their own accord. The closer I get to the rolling tides, the more salt air fills my lungs, the more at ease I feel. I walk until the tips of my toes skim the water, and then I breathe the name.
“Poseidon.”
Nothing happens.
Disappointment floods me. Of course, it was silly of me to expect Poseidon to come at my mere summons.
He’s still the king of the sea, I remind myself. I’m sure he has other things—
“Medusa.”
I pivot sharply, and my pulse quickens. To my right, where seconds before there was no one, Poseidon now stands before me.
He looks regal tonight, dressed in a dyed tunic of deep purple.
A golden pendant necklace rests near his chest, and there’s more than one thick golden band on his fingers.
He looks like a true king. For a moment, all I can do is stare.
“Did you call for me?” he asks.
“I…” Suddenly I feel foolish. What if I’ve pulled him away from something more important? “I’m sorry,” I say. “I just…I suppose I wanted…but you’re busy…”
Poseidon’s expression softens. “I’m never too busy to speak with you, Medusa. Is something wrong?”
“No, not exactly…” I don’t know how to tell him about the people who came to the Acropolis earlier, so I say something else. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“Why do you like me?”
I expect him to laugh or roll his eyes—it’s a silly question, really—but he does neither. Instead, his expression grows more intent.
“Do you not think you should be liked?” he whispers. “Do you not know what I think of you?”
I don’t answer.
He shakes his head. “You’re beautiful, to be sure, Medusa.
But there’s more that draws me to you. You’re smart, determined.
The Fates dealt you a cruel hand, making you the only mortal member of your family.
You should have lived out the rest of your days stuck on that island.
” His eyes light up. “But you didn’t. You took the destiny handed to you and made it your own.
If that’s not admirable, I’m not sure what is. ”
The words are sweet. I instantly crave more of them, but something stops me.
“Can I ask you a second question?”
Poseidon smiles. “And a third.”
This one is harder for me. I find I can’t look at him when I ask it. “Several months ago, when you came to our island for the spring feast, I saw you…with someone else.”
Poseidon’s brows rise. “Someone else?”
“A sea nymph.” I force the words out. “She had blue hair.”
Recognition dawns on Poseidon’s face. His answer comes slowly. “I won’t deny it,” he says. “But that nymph…there is nothing between us anymore.”
I stay silent, wanting him to go on.
“I meant what I said to you.” His voice lowers. “No one has made me feel the way you have. Ever.”
“Not even the queen?” I ask.
For a second, I think I’ve made a terrible mistake.
Poseidon frowns at the mention of his wife.
“No,” he says more coolly. “I have never felt that way for Amphitrite because she has never felt that way for me. Our marriage was arranged centuries ago by her father and my brother, to ally our families.” He gives me a significant look.
“I imagine that’s something you can understand? ”
I nod. I understand all too well.
“I did try, in the early days, to make my wife happy,” says Poseidon. “But I soon learned it was to no avail. Our marriage is in name only. There is no love in it.”
In that moment, I cannot think of anything more tragic.
Poseidon stares out to sea, then looks to me. “I don’t want to talk about Amphitrite anymore.”
“I’m sorry.” And genuinely, I am.
“I want to talk about you,” he says. “You’ve had some time to acclimate to your new station. How do you find it?”
The question immediately takes me back to earlier in the day. “Truthfully,” I say, “it’s been overwhelming. The people seem to believe that I can perform real miracles, like a god.”
“In fairness,” says Poseidon, “healing a sick child and summoning a rainstorm is impressive.”
“It is,” I say, “but—” I stop short. “How did you know about that? About the child and the rainstorm?”
I see a look I haven’t seen before on Poseidon’s face. One of guilt. “I wanted the people of this city to treasure you as I do,” he says.
“It was you,” I realize. “You were the one who made all those strange things happen.”
“With some help,” Poseidon amends. “I cannot make crops grow, but Demeter owed me a favor. I cannot heal children, but…well, my nephew Apollo is fond of me.” In a more serious tone, he adds: “I didn’t intend any harm. Forgive me.”
Some voice in the back of my mind notes that this is the second time Poseidon has kept something from me.
He appeared to me in disguise, without revealing who he was.
Now he has directly interfered with my role in Athena’s temple.
I can imagine what my sisters might say to that, what Theo would say if we were still speaking.
But a different voice in my head drowns them out.
He was only trying to help. He cares for you. Don’t ruin it.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I answer. “Thank you, for all you’ve done for me.”
Poseidon grins. “Come here.”
It doesn’t occur to me to do anything other than obey him.
As soon as I close the gap between us, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me.
This kiss isn’t like the first two. There is a hunger to it, an urgency that makes my knees tremble as though they might give out beneath me.
Poseidon seems to know that, because he eases us onto the sand.
He kisses my mouth again, then bites my lower lip, hard.
There’s a bright spark of pain, but then…
I’m surprised to feel a new tightness, an ache in the lower parts of my body.
A deep rumbling sound rises from his throat. “This is what you do to me,” he says. “You drive me mad.”
I’m lost in too many different sensations to answer.
Poseidon kisses me again, using one hand to suspend himself over me. I feel the other hand slide down my leg, to my thigh, then—
“Wait.” It takes everything I have to grab his wrist.
“What’s wrong?” Poseidon’s pupils are blown wide, so that only slivers of his green irises are visible.
“I…I can’t do this.” I gently push him away from me and sit up. “I made a vow to remain chaste. I can’t do this.”
For several seconds, there’s only the crashing of the waves.
“I see,” Poseidon finally says. He stands, adjusting his golden pendant.
“I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for.” The words are formal. “I’d thought maybe you felt the way I did, but perhaps…”
“No!” I scramble to my feet. “No, that’s not it! I do care for you, Poseidon, a great deal, it’s just—”
“I need to visit with my brother.” He cuts me off. “I should go. Will you be all right, walking back to the Acropolis on your own?”
Something in the pit of my stomach drops. “I…Of course.”
“Good.” Poseidon nods. “Then I bid you good night.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to say anything else before he turns away and strides down the beach until he’s out of sight.