31. Noah
NOAH
Damnit. Stupid fucking roof.
Granted, it was stupid for me to try to climb up here like I used to do when I was a kid, but when I looked through all the windows downstairs, I couldn’t find her, so I knew she had to be upstairs.
When I got up here, I parked down the road, closer to where my family's old house used to be. When my father sold it, the new owners demolished it to make way for a larger dairy farm. I always hated them for doing that because that house was a part of me, and they ruined it.
I walked through the woods to get here so no one would see me.
Her car was cold, and I could tell she had been here for a while.
The back door that led into the kitchen was wide open.
I didn’t want to risk walking inside and her hearing my footsteps.
Even though what I just did may have caused just as much of an issue.
I climbed up the old woodpile and somehow managed to get onto the roof that covers the porch. It’s what I used to do when I would sneak over here some nights so we could sit out here and watch the stars together.
I can see her slightly through the busted window.
A curtain is blowing back and forth from the winter wind, but I can see her.
Her eyes are glossy, probably from crying.
Her nose and cheeks are red, contrasting against her beautifully pale skin.
Her hair is disheveled, and she still has the smudges of last night’s eyeliner lining her eyes. She’s fucking breathtaking.
She looks scared as she flattens herself against the wall. The sounds of me climbing up here caught her attention, and she must have thought someone was in the house with her. I’ll have to wait until she’s in her car before I climb down so that she won’t hear me again.
After a few moments, she finally peels her body away from the wall.
I watch silently as she looks around the room again and wipes away a tear.
How much do you remember, Little Rabbit?
I can see photographs in a pile on the ground.
After a moment, she walks over to the bed and picks up three leather books and clutches them to her chest. I think those are the ones that hold her flower collection.
I contributed to it by bringing her flowers from my vacations.
I think I even signed a couple in that little book of hers. I wonder if she noticed the name.
“You’re just being paranoid, Willow. It was just the wind.”
I can barely hear her, but it’s enough to know she’s scolding herself for being so worried about the noises.
Good girl, keep your guard up. It’s not paranoia.
It’s your awareness of the monsters lurking in the shadows.
I need my little rabbit to get better at trusting her instincts.
If I were a killer, well, if I intended to kill her, she’d already be dead.
I watch her leave the room and slowly make my way along the wrap-around porch's roof that juts out from the house. I follow her through the hall windows down toward her parents’ room at the end.
“Can you handle more, Little Rabbit? You already look so weighed down by the pain you’ve put yourself through tonight,” I whisper to myself.
My voice is so quiet that it drifts away on the breeze. But, as if she hears me, she stops. Her hand is hovering around the doorknob, not quite touching it yet.
“Just turn around, Willow. You don’t need to do this today,” I whisper again.
I know she can’t hear me. These windows aren’t shattered open like the others, and the wind is blowing so fast it’s creating a high-pitched wail as it runs along the house.
She’s shivering from the cold. Even though she dressed a bit warmer I can see her body trembling. I think the car said twenty degrees when I got up here, and I don’t think the heat's been on in this damn house in fifteen years.
I hate this house because I know the pain it’s causing my little rabbit.
I’ve been tempted so many times just to burn it to the fucking ground.
That way, if she ever did return, she would see it crumbled into ash, never being able to hurt her again.
But I didn’t. A twisted part of me wanted her to see the ghosts of her past that most of the world had forgotten.
But not me, Little Rabbit. I’d never forget.
I was there with you. I desperately tried to hold onto your hand as you dangled above the pits of hell, just trying to pull you up to safety.
But your mother was always there below you, holding onto your ankle and pulling you further into the pits of hell with that monster.
I remember asking you to run away. Sure, we were just kids, but I knew I loved you even back then.
It killed me every time I saw you come to school with another bruise or cut.
The way you started to pull away from me.
You became quiet and distant. You stopped coming outside for walks along the creek.
You stopped picking flowers along the road with me.
Even your favorite ditch lilies couldn’t convince you to come out and play.
I was slowly losing you day by day until one day you just disappeared.
My fists clench at my sides as my whole body shakes from the cold, or maybe from the rage.
Who knows? She still hasn’t moved an inch.
She’s just staring at the door as if it’s going to magically open.
Is she secretly hoping to open that door and find the image of her mom sleeping soundly in her bed just like she’d do when she was a kid?
It’s what I did for weeks after my mom died.
Every time I went to her sitting room, I prayed to God that I’d open the door to find her sitting in her big, overstuffed chair with a book in her hands.
That was when I stopped praying or believing in God.
There couldn’t be a God that would let my best friend get taken from me and then my mother shortly after.
Because God was good, right?
Well…If God is good even though he lets the innocent ones suffer and die, then I must be a fucking saint.
“Hello?”
Willow’s voice catches me off guard, and I almost fall off the roof. She isn’t talking to me, though. She’s on her phone.
“Sorry, Jenna. The service up here sucks. I’m up near Lexington.”
She waits a moment, and I can see her rubbing her temples.
“I know I told you we’d go to the burger bar. I’m about to head home, and we can go. I just need to change…And maybe shower first.”
They’re going to the burger bar tonight. Perfect. I’ll grab Jeremy, and we can just run into them.
“No. I’m sorry for making you worry. I’ll be home soon. Love ya.”
She pockets her phone before looking back at her parents’ door. She places her palm flat against the old wood and hangs her head.
“One day, I’ll come back and destroy this place. It should have been done a long time ago,” she says as if she’s talking to someone…Maybe her mother?
I have to duck down as she turns to start heading toward the steps, then back down to the main floor.
I need to time it perfectly from when she starts her car.
I have to hop down and hide along the side of the house until she pulls away, then I can run back to my car.
I need to get home, shower, change, and grab Jeremy.
I hear her car starting up and can see the headlights illuminating the backyard. It sounds like her car has seen better days. That’ll be the first thing I fix for her because, judging by how she acts, she won’t allow me to buy her a new car. She’d probably hit me with it.
*Ding*
Fuck. I thought my sound was off.
The rumble of her car is what I needed to hear to kick my ass in gear. I make my way back to the other side of the porch where the woodpile is, and drop down. A few logs slip out from beneath my feet, causing me to fall onto the snow below.
I slink around the side of the house and wait as I watch her taillights fade into the darkness before turning and heading back toward Lakeshore Drive.
Thankfully, the moon is bright tonight. That’s another thing I’ve always loved about the country, there’s no light pollution. You can see so many stars out here. The sun isn’t even fully below the horizon, yet you can see millions of stars shining in the darkening sky.
By the time I make it back to my car, I’m half frozen. My feet are soaked, and I feel like each breath is forming ice crystals in my lungs. Fuck the cold. I hate winter.
As my car warms up, I remember the sound of a text coming in. It’s probably Jeremy asking if I made it up here safe or wondering if I’ve done anything stupid.
Not yet.
The screen lights up, and my heart skips a beat. It’s not Jeremy. It’s a text from my little rabbit.
Willow
Hey. Sorry it took me so long to message you. It’s been a busy day. Thank you for the flowers.
My fingers hover over the keyboard. I don’t know what to write to her.
You’re welcome?
No. It sounds so nonchalant. I need something that sounds different. I go to start typing, but before I get a chance to, I see the three little dots telling me she’s typing. I wait patiently, watching those little dots until finally another message appears.
Willow
Jenna and I were going to go to The World’s End tonight. You don’t by chance have a guy friend who’s single that could come, do you?
Why the fuck would she want to know if I know any single guys? Is she seriously asking me to be her fucking wingman?
Willow
Sorry. That came out wrong. Can you come tonight for dinner, and also bring a friend for Jenna?
Oh…
My fist loosens on the phone, and I can hear the plastic frame starting to crack. Damnit.
Noah
I’m free tonight.
I glance at the time on the dash. It’s only five o’clock. She’ll be home by six thirty.
Noah
How does eight thirty sound?
Willow
That’s perfect.
So, do you have someone in mind for her? If not, you’d just be the third wheel, lol.
Trust me. I know just the guy.
Great. See you at the bar.
I need to get the fuck home now.
As I race down an alternative route to avoid crossing her path, I call Jeremy.
“Wassup, my most favorite cousin in the whole wide world?” he teases.
“I’m your only cousin in the whole wide world.”
“Semantics,” he laughs.
“Did you get her desk built?”
“Sir, yes, sir!”
“Good. I’m taking you out to dinner. My treat.”
“Wait, really? Where are we going?”
“That burger bar.”
“Again? You must really like their burgers.”
“Yes. And a certain someone will be there with her roommate, who needs a date.”
“Wait. Are you pimping me out just to get more alone time with Willow?”
“Oh, come on, Remy. Just come meet her roommate. She’s stunning and a fucking firecracker. I think she’ll even give you a run for your money.”
I can’t help but laugh. Jeremy loves women with submissive personalities, and Jenna is anything but submissive. I can already tell that woman is a loaded pistol with the trigger only a hair away from being pulled.
“Fine. But if I don’t get my dick sucked tonight, you owe me. I was supposed to meet Veronica after I ran home and showered.”
“Trust me, you’ll enjoy Jenna more.”
“Jenna?”
“Yes. That’s the roommate's name. Now go to my house and get your ass ready. I’ll be home in forty minutes.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” he laughs, then the call ends.
I have another chance to bribe my little rabbit to just take the damn job already. And maybe a chance at another kiss like last night. Maybe more.