49. Willow
WILLOW
My mind is back to racing again. Why do I always have to overthink things?
Why can’t I just enjoy when things are going well and I finally feel happy?
As I lay here against his chest listening to the sounds of him sleeping, I can’t stop replaying some of the things he’s said in the last twenty-four hours.
Because you were always meant to be mine, Willow. We were always meant to be together.
I just got you back. There's no way I'm letting you go.
I’ve always felt it, Willow. You’re my little rabbit and always will be.
A soft knock followed by the nurse's voice, has Noah sitting up.
“Sir, we have a private room available. We’ll get you moved there shortly.”
“Thank you,” he says, and she nods before walking out of the room.
“I’m going to tell Jenn what’s going on. Plus, I’m sure Jeremy wants to say bye.”
He seems to hold onto me tighter, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I’m not leaving, Noah. I just need to go tell her.”
“I know.”
He reluctantly lets me go and my traitorous body instantly craves being wrapped in his arms again. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?
I lean to kiss him on the cheek, but he turns and presses his lips to mine. Fire burns down my body and I nearly forget what I was getting up for again, but thankfully, my phone goes off breaking his spell on me.
“Hurry back,” he says as I turn to walk out the door.
“I will.”
I take my time walking back to the waiting room. His words just keep replaying in my mind because they don’t make sense. Of course, most were said after sex when we were both in that post orgasmic bliss…all except the last one.
I just got you back. There's no way I'm letting you go.
Three days. It’s been three fucking days. How does that equate to getting me back? Unless…
I stop in the hallway and close my eyes for a moment, recalling the way he called me little rabbit. He said it with such love from the very first time, not just some cute nickname. It was familiar, but I couldn’t remember why.
“Willow, is Noah okay?”
Jeremy’s voice reminds me I’m standing in the middle of a hallway trying to piece together fragments of my childhood to find out if the man I’m falling for is someone from my past. But if he was, then why wouldn’t he just tell me?
Then again, I was a child when I left. Most of my memories have been blocked out because of the trauma that happened throughout my childhood and especially that horrible night…
At least that’s what my therapist told me.
Before I left Texas to move to Michigan, she warned me that visiting places known to me in my childhood could start triggering memories.
What if it’s from being around a person from my childhood?
Could that have the same effect? I want to outright ask him if he knows me, but what if I’m wrong?
What if I’m reading into this far too much like I always do?
What if he truly does just feel a connection with me, and little rabbit is just a cute pet name he thought of that first day he met me?
That’s the logical answer. The one that makes the most sense.
“Yeah. They’re moving him to a private room.”
“Why? And why were you just standing here with your eyes closed? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just a slight headache,” I lie as I rub my temples.
It’s not a total lie. My head is starting to hurt from overthinking all of this.
“Why are they moving him to another room?”
“The nurse said it was the only way I’d be able to stay.”
“Ah, yeah, I figured that would happen. Listen, Jenna and I were going to grab a bite to eat. Noah isn’t allowed anything until they clear him, but we can bring you something back if you’d like or you can come with us.”
“I don’t want to leave him. Just in case anything happens or he needs someone.”
Jeremy’s knowing smirk has me blushing. Did Jenna tell him what I said about my feelings for Noah, or has he just figured it out?
“You know, he isn’t like this with most women…honestly, I’ve never seen him like this with any woman.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, confused that he said it out of nowhere.
“Noah is more like a brother to me than a cousin.”
“I know, he told me.”
“Then you should know that we tell each other everything. He’s never looked at another woman the way he looks at you.
He’s never talked about someone the way he does about you.
I know it may seem fast, but I’ve never known the man to be impulsive.
He’s always methodical and calculated. I’m the impulsive one. ”
He stops and shakes his head while laughing for a moment before looking at me and getting very serious.
“All I’m asking is please don’t break his heart.”
“Jeremy, it’s been three days since he met me. There’s no way someone could…”
He tilts his head at me knowingly with a smirk, completely silencing any protests I had.
“I believe three days is enough to know when it’s real,” he says softly.
“Oh, God. Don’t let Jenna hear you say that.”
“What? Why?” he asks, stunned.
“She’s the romantic. She thinks Noah could be my soulmate,” I laugh, but he doesn’t even crack a smile. No, this man is completely serious.
“She could be right, Willow. All I’m asking is that you don’t overthink every little thing. Just live in the moment.”
Why do I feel like he and Jenna are trying to tag-team and make sure that we end up together? Because right now, this man sounds like Jenna, and I don’t like it. I already have one hopeless romantic in my life, I don’t need two.
“Listen, Jeremy. I like Noah, I won’t lie. But again, it’s only been three days. This time next week he could get bored with me. Veronica said he seems to date a lot of women who look like me, so maybe he just has a type.”
When I mention what Veronica said, Jeremy’s eyes narrow, and a look of irritation instantly morphs his expression.
“Don’t listen to Veronica. She’s just mad that she’s never been with Noah. Their dads tried to set them up years ago and he shot down the idea real fast. So like I said, she’s just jealous.”
“Fine, okay. If I promise not to overthink things, will you bring me back whatever food I want?”
“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” His serious tone is back to the fun one I remember from the bar.
“Fine. Now, can I please go talk to my best friend?”
“Sure. I gotta go talk to Noah anyway,” he says as I turn to walk toward the waiting room, but then he stops me again. “Thanks, Willow.”
“For what?”
“I’ve never seen my cousin so happy. He hasn’t had the best life, between his mom dying and some other things.” He looks at me with a curious look, and it makes my stomach uneasy. “Thank you for bringing the light back into his life.”
I don’t say a word. I only give him a small smile and a nod before continuing toward the waiting room. Jenna is sitting in a chair fixing her eyeliner using her phone's front-facing camera.
“Got a hot date?” I tease.
“Jeremy asked if I wanted to grab a bite to eat since we might be here a while. How’s Noah?”
“He’s okay. They’re keeping him overnight. Noah is having them move him to a private room so I can stay with him.”
“Ooh, hospital sex. Never thought that would be on my bucket list.”
“Jesus, Jenna. The man has a concussion and a cracked skull. There won’t be any sex happening for a while,” I scoff, and we both start laughing.
“Well, hopefully he’ll be better soon. Did you want anything from the restaurant? Or you could come with us.”
“Just let me know where you end up going, and I can check out their menu online. You and Jeremy enjoy your date.”
“It’s not a date,” she says far too quickly.
“Sure…” I tease.
“Okay, maybe it is. I don’t know, he seems different from the other guys I’ve dated. Anyway, I’ll text you when we get to wherever we are going. Got any cravings?”
“No. My stomach isn’t feeling the greatest right now, but I know I need to eat.”
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing,” I lie, but she can read me like a book.
“Lies. What is it? Spit it out before Jeremy gets back.”
How much can I tell her without revealing too much of my past?
“I don’t know. Just sometimes some of the things Noah says makes it seem like he’s known me longer than I’ve known him…”
“Like a stalker? Babe, are you sure you’re not just looking for an out like you always do?”
Leave it to Jenna to be blunt as fuck about it.
“I do not always…”
“Mike. Great guy, great job, but he was…What did you call it? Not ambitious enough with his life. Said he was settling for the bare minimum in life when you knew he could do more. Sam. In law, was hot as hell and super tall, but you said his opinions were too different when it came to certain cases. You went out with those guys for two dates each. Never kissed and definitely never had sex with them. Yet, you managed to find an out after two very short dates.”
I glare at her, and she holds her hands up in defense and smirks.
“All I’m saying is you seem to try to find any reason not to let yourself be happy. You keep your walls up, and that’s fine. I know there is shit about your past you haven’t told me…”
My mouth falls slightly open, and she quickly backpedals.
“I’m not saying you have to tell me everything, Willow. I can just tell there is shit from your past that you don’t tell people. Just know that whatever happened back then, it shouldn’t keep you from being happy now. Everyone deserves their happily ever after.”
“Here we go with the happily ever after stuff again,” I joke, but maybe she’s right.
“Just stop overthinking things. Stop trying to find an out. Let yourself be happy.”
“Jesus, you and Jeremy sound a lot alike.”
“We may have been out here talking for a while. We just want the same thing for both of you. And we both agreed this is the happiest we’ve ever seen either of you.”
“Traitor.”
“No, not a traitor. We’re playing matchmaker.”
“Oh, so it’s a game now?”
“There may be a bet involved,” she laughs as she finally finishes touching up her eyeliner and lipstick.
“And that is?”
“Oh, no, Missy. You don’t get to know the terms of the bet. That would be cheating. Now, get back in there with Prince Charming, and I’ll text you when we get to the restaurant.”
“You’re horrible, you know that, right?” I say sarcastically, of course.
“Yes, but you know you love me no matter what and you’re stuck with me.”
“Am I?” I laugh.
“Until the day you die.”
“Who’s dying?” Jeremy asks as he steps up beside me making me jump.
“No one,” I say flatly.
“Ready to go?” he asks Jenna, and I watch her smile light up as he takes her hand and pulls her closer.
“Yep, ready. Bye, babe. I’ll text you when we get there.”
“Did they move Noah to the new room?”
“Not yet. They said maybe ten more minutes.”
“Okay, thanks. Bye guys. Have fun.”
I watch them walk away and can already tell that this is either going to be the best relationship ever between them or absolute fucking hell. Their personalities are so similar it’s scary.
Taking a moment to compose myself before I head back to Noah, I think about everything they both said. Maybe Jenna is right. Maybe I am trying to find an out like I always do. Unfortunately, there’s still a small voice in the back of my mind saying there’s something more to this.
Maybe he saw me before, in one of the shadow cases I worked on? Maybe he saw me at a conference? I have gone to a few of those over the last couple of years. Dammit. Why can’t my brain just shut off for once and stop trying to pick apart every single detail?
I’m stuck thinking about this all the way back to his room. They’re bringing him out just as I round the corner, and his eyes light up at the sight of me. All the unease seems to fade away when I see his smile and a wave of calm spreads throughout my chest.
Damn this man.