57. Noah
NOAH
OCTOBER FLASHBACK
Last night was horrible. I tossed and turned all fucking night. My eyes are literally burning from the lack of sleep. It doesn’t help that Angela sent a flood of hateful texts before finally telling me she was blocking me. I swear every time I started to doze off another text from her came through.
As I descend the steps into the labyrinth, I swear my stomach might release the small amount of food and coffee I was able to choke down. I have to stop halfway down the steps to get my head on straight.
Between the lack of sleep, my father breathing down my neck over this fucking Vallero case, and also the fact that the piece of shit I’ve had imprisoned down here for the last four years has managed to figure out exactly who I am, I feel like I’m losing it.
I have a feeling he’s going to try to use it to get under my skin.
I’ve searched for her for years. I’ve hunted down everyone who was ever involved in her life.
Her grandparents are all dead, but she was never with them.
I had tech friends hack the different offices of the police departments that were involved that horrible night, but still, there’s nothing.
It’s like she just disappeared, faded away on the breeze.
I tortured James for months trying to find out if he actually did kill her or if he knew where she was.
He screamed and asked me who I was, even back then.
He never once seemed to remember me. Then again, back when I was a kid and involved in Willow’s life, he was a drunk, so it wasn’t surprising that he didn’t seem to have a clue.
I’ve realized that the devil himself can’t be broken by torture, physical or mental. I need to find Willow soon before I snap and kill him myself. I’ve been saving him for her for four fucking years, so it’d be a waste to let him die now.
The door creaks open slowly, and I can hear Rayes crying from deep inside the tunnels. The sounds echo around me, slowly calming my nerves. That is until James opens his fucking mouth.
“So, Noah, still haven’t found my baby girl yet?”
I don’t answer him. He’s not my target today. Today’s the day I end Rayes. That way I can dispose of him like the rest of them tonight.
“Aww. What’s wrong, Killer? Don’t feel like talking to me anymore?” he sneers. “Tell me again, how long have you been searching.”
Silence stretches between us with only the soft sobs coming from Rayes. He hasn’t spoken, only sitting blindfolded with his head tilted down. His skin is soiled in piss, sweat, and shit. He looks disgusting and smells even worse.
I grab the hose and put it on full blast. The cold water sprays him causing him to scream. I aim the stream into his mouth and watch with amusement as he chokes on the water he inhales.
As he sits there trying to expel the water from his lungs, I aim the ice-cold stream at James. The lightbulb above swings back and forth as the drops spray everywhere from bouncing off his body. He doesn’t scream. He barely fucking flinches. What the fuck?
“We both need to know the truth,” he says as I lower the stream of water before shutting it off.
He knows he’s got my attention. What truth? Is he finally fucking talking after all these years?
“You don’t know the truth about that night. You only heard what the tabloids wanted you to hear. No one knew that she was taking my baby girl away from me. She had the car packed and was going to steal her away in the middle of the night. And then…”
His arms strain. I can still see the veins bulging in his arms as he fights the rage simmering beneath the surface. He truly is a monster.
“That fucking bitch cheated on me. She told me that night that Willow wasn’t even mine.”
That’s what tipped him over the edge? That’s what caused him to kill Willow’s mom?
“Is it true?” I ask.
His head snaps up as he glares at me, and I can feel the anger burning from him.
“I don’t fucking know. She said Willow’s real dad was my own fucking brother,” he shouts.
“Where is he? Would he have Willow?”
“He died. Well, actually, I killed him. It was an accident, but after I found that out, I was glad he was killed in that car wreck.”
The silence that drifts between us is heavy. Does he even regret what he did to her? To her mother? Or is he such a monster that nothing could be said to change his opinion that he did nothing wrong and that they deserved everything?
“If you find her, all I ask is to know the truth. One DNA test is all it would take. You’ve spilled enough of my blood over the years…What’s a few more drops?” he whispers.
“Why does it matter?”
“I killed the only woman I’ve ever loved. I changed my name and have been hiding all of these years. I figured eleven years would’ve been enough time for anyone who would have recognized me to have forgotten…but I was wrong.”
“Didn’t work out so well, did it?” I scoff, and it causes him to laugh.
“Be careful, Killer. You may think all of your kills are justified now, but one day they’ll come back to haunt you.”
“Does Deborah still haunt you? What about your brother?”
He hangs his head in silence for a moment. Rayes has stopped sniffling and is actually remaining silent. If I wasn’t looking at his tied-up ass, I would’ve forgotten he was here.
“Deb haunts my dreams. My nightmares. Ever since you’ve had me down here, it’s gotten worse. I can hear her voice even when I’m not asleep.”
“Good. I hope she fucking haunts you until the day you die,” I say firmly.
He tosses his head back and laughs. It’s hollow and forced, like he’s trying to see the bright side in the fact that he will be dying, hopefully soon.
“And when will that be, Noah?”
“When I find Willow and bring her down here to face you.”
His smug grin drops when I say those words. I can see the corner of his lip twitch in disgust.
“You’re going to make her watch you kill me?” he stammers.
“No, James. I’m going to let her kill you. So that she can be free of you and the hell you put her through.”
“You’ve wasted years keeping me alive down here. Starving me. Torturing me. All while trying to find the one woman who never wants to be found…You’re fucking crazy.”
“No. I’m in love. I’ve been in love with Willow since we were kids, and I’ll never stop searching for her.”
“She’s gone, Noah. Honestly, she probably got passed around from foster home to foster home, beaten or worse…Probably hated her life so much that she finally killed herself, and that’s why no one can find her.”
“Shut the fuck up! She’s not dead. I know she’s still out there.”
He laughs again and shakes his head at me.
“You’re fucking delusional, Killer. I just hope if you do ever find her, she has the right mind to kill you when you force her to kill me.”
“She wouldn’t.”
“You never know. Her mind could be warped. Hell, maybe that’s why no one can find her. Maybe she’s locked up somewhere.”
She’s not. I have Monty doing country-wide searches at all jails, hospitals, mental institutions, and obituaries.
So many women pop up with her descriptions, but none are her.
It’s taken years to comb through all of the original data, and every time a new hit came in he notified me, but I already knew she won’t be at any of those places…
But I still don’t know where she could be.
Fifteen years is a long time for someone to be a ghost. What if she’s forgotten everything? What if she doesn’t remember me…
Will I lose my little rabbit for good?