Chapter 9 #2
“Sure. Then you could give your letter to Jarvis, and he’ll post it for you.”
Getting him to agree to go to church had been easy. Writing the letter, she discovered an hour later, was difficult. In the end, she answered Jacob Wells’s questions and did her best to anticipate hearing from him again.
The one thing she could write with complete honesty was: Your farm reminds me of the one where I lived as a child. I loved it.
She sealed the envelope and set it on her bedside table. Tomorrow would see it on its way.
Sunday morning, she prepared herself for church, set out Poppy’s best dress to put on her after she’d eaten, then descended to the kitchen with the little girl in her arms.
Pa sat at the table, waiting for coffee and breakfast.
Kat clattered down the stairs and joined them just as Gil entered. He took in Amelia’s dark-blue cotton dress with the Victorian collar and lace-trimmed cuffs. “Bit fancy for frying pork, ain’t it?”
She chuckled. “We’re going to church.”
“Who’s we? I ain’t going. Seen enough people scowling at me and shaking their heads without going to where they sit.”
“Not everyone is the same.” It was easy to say. Harder to believe, having experienced similar judgment after Callie arrived at Grandmother’s house. And then later toward an innocent baby.
“I’ll have to take yer word for it, as I ain’t about to see for myself. Who did ya say is going?”
“I didn’t. I guess I don’t know.”
Zach stepped into the house from tending the horses and overheard enough of the conversation to know what it was about. “We’ll all go. It might be good for Pa and will definitely benefit Kat.”
“I’m not going,” Kat insisted.
“Yes, you are,” Zach spoke firmly as if he hoped to end the argument before it started.
“You can’t make me. You aren’t my pa.”
At that, her pa spoke up. “We’ll all go to church. Your mother would expect it.”
That ended Kat’s protests as they stared at Pa. He was clear in his mind at the moment.
Zach hung his hat on the hook by the door, as surprised as Amelia and as hopeful Pa’s clarity would last.
“I’ll stay home and make a Sunday dinner like your ma used to make,” Gil said. No one protested, though having them all away would give Gil opportunity to do something besides cook. Not that having them at home proved a deterrent.
After breakfast, and when everyone changed into their Sunday best, Zach drove the wagon to the house and helped them into it. Pa chose to sit in the back with Kat, who had managed to find a dress that wasn’t torn and soiled.
Zach helped Amelia to the bench, and she held Poppy, almost like her journey here a short time ago.
“Do you have your letter?” Zach murmured as he sat beside her. As if he couldn’t wait for her to be gone.
“Right here.” She patted her little drawstring bag. At least she could hope for a welcome with Jacob Wells. The thought did nothing to ease the way her insides tightened.
As they approached Golden Valley, breathing grew increasingly difficult.
What would people think of her with the Taggerty family?
What would they think of Poppy? Would they ask questions about the child?
And most of all, did she want to mail the letter in her bag?
Decidedly no, but what choice did she have?
As they reached the small white church, the Taggertys were surrounded by friends. Kat ran off with some girls her age. Zach and Amelia stayed on either side of Pa.
As more and more people greeted him, tension and confusion radiated from the man.
“Let’s get inside.” Zach hurried them into the church.
Mr. Jarvis spoke to Pa as they entered the sanctuary. “Norm, it is so nice to see you. How are you doing?”
Pa’s hands twitched. They needed to find a place to sit before he grew agitated.
“Your letter,” Zach reminded Amelia.
She dug it from her bag and handed it to Mr. Jarvis, and asked him to post it. Any hope Zach might see value in asking her to stay disappeared with the letter Mr. Jarvis slipped into his pocket.
They led Pa to a pew and sat on either side of him. Poppy, perched on Amelia’s knees, reached out and took Pa’s hand. He smiled, and his high-riding shoulders relaxed.
Couldn’t Zach see Poppy’s calming effect on his pa? Didn’t that mean anything?
The church filled up, and the preacher took his place. His gaze lit on Amelia. “I see the Taggertys have company. Welcome. I’m Pastor Stone.” His gaze shifted to Pa. “And welcome to Mr. Taggerty and the rest of the family. Now, if you would turn to number—” He announced the first hymn.
Amelia and Zach held a hymnal in front of Pa. Singing “Amazing Grace” with her earlier, Zach proved he had a fine voice, and she prepared to enjoy the service.
Pa sang too, a surprisingly deep rumbling bass. Her eyes stung. This was a hint of the man he’d once been.
The song service ended, and Pastor Stone beamed at them. “Today’s text focuses on Hebrews thirteen, verses five and six. ‘I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.’”
His encouraging message offered exactly what Amelia needed.
But Pa grew restless. He and Poppy twiddled their fingers.
Amelia glanced at Zach, and her concern reflected in his eyes. He draped his arms around his pa’s shoulders and squeezed.
As soon as the pastor gave the benediction, Zach helped Pa to his feet, and they headed for the door.
Several called out to them, no doubt wanting to welcome Amelia and greet Pa, but they needed to get him home before confusion overtook him.
“Kat,” Zach called.
She turned from visiting her friends. She might have argued, but after one glance at her pa, she rushed to join them.
They got everyone into the wagon and drove from town.
Kat poked her head between Zach and Amelia. “He’s getting real restless.”
In the back, Pa sat up, clutching at the sides of the wagon as if he meant to jump out.
Zach caught him. “Pa, sit down. We’ll soon be home.”
Pa shook his hand off. “I have to go.”
“Go where, Pa?” Kat asked, her fear and worry palpable as her voice wobbled up an octave.
His poor sister. Not only had she lost her mother, but day by day, she was losing her father. And Zach had no idea how to comfort and encourage her.
“Stop the wagon,” Amelia said.
“If I do, he’ll get out.”
“Hold him while I get in the back.” She handed Poppy to Kat. “Pa, look, Poppy wants to sit with you.”
He glanced at the baby, smiled, and then seemed to forget her as he turned, trying to climb out. Zach held him while Amelia got into the back. She pulled at his arm to get his attention. “Sit with me and help me sing. What’s your favorite song?”
For the space of a heartbeat, Pa focused on her and began to sit, but then grabbed the side of the wagon again.
Zach held his shoulder so he couldn’t climb out.
Amelia took his hand and began singing “Amazing Grace.” Bit by bit, Pa relaxed, and she pulled him down to sit beside her.
Zach joined in the singing. Then Pa. Kat rolled her eyes as if this was too silly for words, but then in her clear sweet voice, she sang too.
If Zach needed any more reason not to ask Amelia to stay, this trip to church provided it.
Pa was requiring more and more care. It wasn’t the sort of life a decent man would ask a woman to share.
No, he’d have to find a man capable of caring for Pa.
Maybe someone who could also keep Gil in line.
If not for his ma’s friendship with Gil’s mother, Zach would let the man go.
They reached home, and he guided his father inside.
There was no just-like-Ma-used-to-make dinner ready. The stove was cold, and Gil was missing.
“I’ll stay with your pa while you find Gil.” Amelia led Pa to the table and had him and Poppy sit side by side. The two reached for each other’s hands.
Zach stared at the pair of clasped fingers on the tabletop. If only he could grab someone and find such comfort. But he had to accept the reality of his life.
Amelia started a fire in the stove and set the coffee to boil, then opened cupboards looking for something for dinner.
Things under control for the moment, he went in search of Gil.
He found him in the bunkhouse, sleeping or passed out.
From the smell of alcohol, it must be the latter.
He drained the little bit left in the bottle.
Strange. The clean, unsmudged label was the same as the one Gil said was a gift.
Was someone bringing him whiskey when Zach was away?
Sobel? It was easy to blame their annoying neighbor, but the reality was Gil’s drinking problems existed long before Sobel showed up.
Maybe Zach should send word to Gil’s mom at the fort to come and visit her son. That usually sobered up the man for several days.
Stepping outside, he breathed in the clean air and swept his gaze over the land—the mountains, the trees in so many shades of green, and the blue sky.
Peaceful. Deceptively peaceful. He recalled words from the morning sermon.
The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
Why wasn’t he able to find the peace those words offered?
He knew what Ma would say. He should stop looking at his problems and keep his eyes on Jesus. He must bear his burdens alone, with God’s help. Even though the idea scraped along his nerves, it was the path he must tread.
What woman in her right mind would want any part of this life?
Amelia called him in for the meal she’d prepared.
Pa was tired from the morning out and went upstairs to nap after he’d eaten. She put Poppy down for her afternoon sleep, then descended the stairs.
“Kat,” Amelia said, “I hate to ask it again, but could you listen for Poppy and your pa? I want to talk to your brother.”
“Gonna tell him he’s gotten too big for his britches?”
Amelia laughed. “I don’t think so.”
“Shucks.” Kat brightened. “Guess I’ll have to be the one to do it.”
“Not right now. Would you?” Amelia glanced at the rooms upstairs.
“Sure. Can we have cookies when they wake up?”
“Yes. Even if I’m back, you can have them.”