Epilogue
COLBY
One year later
“Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Half-Assed Life Hacks podcast. I’m your host, Colby Jackson. Today we have a very special guest, my beautiful, smart, and amazing girlfriend, Josie.”
“Please keep going. I’ll wait,” Josie says with a chuckle as she adjusts her headphones. “Hi, everyone! Glad to be here.”
I’m glad she’s here, too. It took Josie a bit of convincing—six months to be exact—to be on her first show.
This is only the fifth one she’s done, and even though she’s told me over and over she can’t stand to hear herself on the podcast and is worried that she sounds ridiculous, the fan letters that come in for her, begging for her to join the show, tells something totally different.
Josie has that natural charm that I fell in love with last year, and it resonates over audio to the listeners as strongly as it resonates in our home.
Our home. Sometimes, I can’t even. Although Josie and I had what we call a quick-start relationship, we’ve taken this last year at a beautiful snail’s pace.
After spending only a few nights a week at my place for a solid several months, she increased her visits to the point where finally, only a few months ago, she moved in permanently.
I suck up every second with her I can. I love cooking for her, and I pretend I love the dinners she makes me. We go in the hot tub every chance we get, she takes long solo walks, and I pout over the debilitating jealousy that Kona has a new favorite, no matter how many treats I give her.
“As many of you know, Josie is a vet tech, helping heal one animal at a time. Today, we are going to be talking about the best way to bathe a dog, what to do if you’re alone with a bear in the woods, and the best hidden vacation spots in northwest Minnesota.
And next week, we’ll be following up on the series we started last month for tasty, easy recipes to get you over the long winter.
And of course, we’ll have a throwback to the love advice podcast, where Josie and I will each give our perspectives. ”
“Tip number one. Just nod, smile, and refrain from telling the other person that you’re right, even when you know dang well that you are, in fact, right,” Josie says with a laugh.
“Now, on to bathing our fur babies. Let’s face it, friends.
Dogs can be stinky. Trust me, our girl Kona here can probably win some awards on that.
But did you know for some dogs, bathing too much can actually be hurting your animal? We need to look at breed, coat…”
As Josie talks into the mic, glancing at her notes that I know she doesn’t need because she’s phenomenal at her job, I sit back and marvel at what we’ve become.
When I released the episode last year, outing myself and my identity, I thought I was prepared for what would happen, but I wasn’t.
There was way more backlash than I anticipated.
I was the trending topic on several social media sites.
I got hate messages and emails, DMs that I could barely comprehend, people leaving angry voice messages about me being a fraud, sponsors pulling from the show, and others telling me that they hated me.
Even with the harshest messages, the relief I felt about being out, about Josie coming back, helped me ride that turbulent storm.
But the other thing I wasn’t expecting? The love.
The massive outpouring of love from all over the country.
People writing in about their own experiences with loss and grief, people sending me messages of encouragement.
A small army of troll defenders on social media telling people to look past the identity piece and how much value the show has brought to their life.
Dozens and dozens of the people that I gave advice to on the show wrote in to tell me how I positively affected their world.
And Josie stood by me this entire time, holding me when I cried with guilt, celebrating with me as each message of encouragement came in.
And now, as she wraps up her segment, I mouth, I love you, and she winks and continues talking about oatmeal-based shampoos and drying times in the winter.
I don’t know what the rest of my life will look like.
Will I do this podcast forever? Will Josie and I get married and grow old together?
What does the universe have in store? No one knows.
But what I do know is that I am ready for what the world gives me, and I’m going to tackle my life, head-on, one step at a time.