7. Chapter 7 #2
I sputter. Baseball has always been my main focus.
Between practices, workouts, and games, I never made time for dating.
Not even necessarily for my sake, but because I’m scared of that commitment being too much for someone, given how much time I spend away from home.
When I date someone, I want to be able to give them the attention they deserve, not have them feel like they’re coming second to my career.
I’m not a date virgin by any means, but once I made it to the minor leagues, I decided to close off that side of my life to focus on my career.
It’s worked out for me thus far, since my determination and grind got me to the majors.
Yes, I make time for Alyssa, but I don’t understand why they think I could be in love with someone I’m not even dating.
“I don’t—” I shake my head. “I can’t.”
Hayden pats his own chest. “The heart wants what the heart wants, dude.”
I look around the group, waiting for anyone else to side with me. To tell me it’s a horrible idea to potentially ruin the friendship Alyssa and I have. But they all seem to be in agreement with Hayden.
“Think about it.” Cooper grabs his face mask from the ground. “You hang out all the time, so you already know that you like each other.”
“But how do I— How am I supposed to—” I drop my bat on the ground and clasp my hands behind my head. “Are there—I don’t know—signs that would tell me that I like her as more than a friend?” If everything about dating was described in baseball terms, it would be much easier to understand.
Where’s a first-base dating coach telling me what to do when I need him?
“We’ve got you covered, man.” Dawson rubs his hands together like he’s warming up for his big moment. “Do you think she’s beautiful?”
I raise an eyebrow. They’ve seen her, so I’m not sure why that’s even a question. “I mean, I have eyes.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Dawson smiles. “Does she make you feel butterflies?”
“Do guys even get butterflies?” I’m half joking, half serious.
“I don’t,” Fletch scoffs. “But I’m sure someone like Dawson here does all the time since he buys into all that romance mumbo jumbo.”
Dawson frowns. “Hey, most women are impressed with my knowledge of rom-com movies.”
Fletch tilts his head back and laughs. “You should never admit that out loud again.”
“Boys, focus.” Cooper sighs before looking at me. “Tell me this: Why do you find something wrong in every guy she dates?”
“I don’t,” I say.
Hayden tilts his head like he’s not buying it. “One time you said you didn’t like the guy because of the way his cowlick flipped.”
I cringe as I recall him. “It was right at the front of his hairline. Alyssa’s a hairstylist—it wouldn’t have been a good look for her.”
“Can’t you see, man?” Dawson blows out a low whistle. “You’re always going to find something wrong with any guy she dates because they aren’t you.”
Before I can think about the implications of what he said, Fletch jumps in. “Have you ever felt hot all over just looking at her? Or even thinking about her?”
I don’t want to answer the question. Because I don’t like the answer.
Fletch quirks an eyebrow and smirks like he knows the answer anyway. “Have you ever thought of kissing her?”
My cheeks flame.
“Dude, he totally has.” Hayden throws his mitt at me. “Look at him blushing like a teenager.”
I chuck the mitt back at him, and he catches it with a laugh.
I hold up my hands to stop their razzing. “Fine, I kissed her once.” I hold up a finger. “It was when we first met, and it was only to get her out of an awkward situation with an ex.”
Cooper furrows his brows. “Then why aren’t y’all married with a bunch of baseball-playing babies running around?”
“I had just moved here and wasn’t sure how long I’d play for the Mustangs.”
“And now it’s been years, and you still haven’t made a move?”
“I’m focused on baseball.” I shrug. “Besides, she’s always going on dates.”
“Because you haven’t made a move.” Fletch rolls his eyes.
“Come on, man. If you can’t admit it to us, you’ll never be able to admit it to her.” Dawson rubs his hands together like he’s teeing up a big question. “Give it to us straight. How do you feel when you’re around her?”
I hesitate. “You’re not going to make fun of me?”
“Oh, we’re definitely going to make fun of you.” Hayden grins.
Fletch nods. “We’re never gonna let you forget.”
“But we’re not judging, right, gentlemen?” Cooper eyes everyone with a serious expression, daring them to disagree.
“We listen and we don’t judge,” Hayden mocks.
“Youths,” Cooper mutters.
Once everyone is quiet, I clear my throat. “I always feel safe around Alyssa.”
“Aw, is the big six-foot-four man scared of being in his big mansion all alone?” Fletch teases.
I shove him in the shoulder, avoiding his pitching arm, but it only makes him laugh harder.
“It’s not that kind of safe.” I chew on the inside of my lip. “It’s the feeling of not having to worry that she’s going to judge me. I know she’s not going to sell pictures of me or stories I tell her to the media. I like that I can be my full self around her. With her, things are just easy.”
They all share matching grins.
Dawson eyes me. “And how would you feel if she were to marry this country singer and move away? If you didn’t get to hang out with her anymore or see her up in the stands.”
“I would miss her.” The words catch in my throat.
“Because…” The word hangs in the air, like he’s waiting for me to come to the realization myself.
I think back to the night I met Alyssa. The way she looked at me. Her adorable little happy food dance. The feeling of her lips pressed to mine. And the way she looked in that black dress a few weeks ago. Beautiful isn’t a strong enough word to describe her.
Hayden smiles wide. “Dude, you’ve totally got the hots for her.”
“You’re down bad,” Dawson agrees.
I blow out a breath because my friends are right. All of the tension I’ve been feeling releases from my body at the realization. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. But now there’s no going back. No more confusion. Only certainty.
I don’t have to say anything. My teammates grab my shoulders and shake me. I’m surrounded by a chorus of wolf whistles, told-you-sos, and good-lucks.
I’m certainly going to need it, because I’m the idiot that friend-zoned her three years ago.