19. Chapter 19
If there were a cure to heal me of my feelings for Austin, it certainly isn’t watching him hold my nephews. The way he talks to them and how gently he holds the boys against his giant frame is enough to make me swoon.
I love how well he fits into my family. He’s humble and never makes anyone feel less than because of his fame.
Watching the people I love fawn over him only heightens the bone-deep attraction I feel for him.
It doesn’t help that I also unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt earlier.
Getting to stare at his chiseled chest muscles, knowing I can’t touch them, is a blessing and a curse.
“Wawa?” Rhys points to the pool. Listening to his sweet voice asking my friend to swim melts my heart.
A genuine smile pulls at Austin’s lips. “You want to swim with me?”
Rhys does an exaggerated nod. Austin turns to my sister for permission.
“Be my guest.” She rubs her swollen belly.
Austin takes Rhys from my arms. “Why don’t you ladies go lounge in a cabana?”
Not only did he volunteer to teach my nephews how to play baseball when we’re back home, but now he’s volunteering to be on kid-duty so my very pregnant sister can kick up her feet and relax.
He’s gaining some serious brownie points.
But I don’t think he’s trying to—this is just genuinely Austin, which makes what he’s doing even more remarkable.
It’s not every day that a man notices a woman’s needs and takes care of them without any prompting. And, if I’ve learned anything from all the romance movies Shayna has made us watch over the years, I know Austin is the kind of man I need to lock down before the opportunity passes.
I’ve already let three years pass just being friends with Austin, but I won’t let another one go by without going after what I truly want.
“You read my mind. The shade is calling my name.” Maddy begins walking over to the nearest cabana, one hand on her belly, the other on her back. My mom trails behind her.
“You think you can handle the two of them all alone?” I ask Austin.
“I won’t be alone. It’ll be three on two.” He motions to my father and then my brother-in-law, who is currently chasing Crew around the pool and trying to catch him before he can jump in fully clothed.
I nod slowly. “All right, good luck.” I kiss Rhys on the forehead. “Bye, Rhysie. Auntie Lyss loves you.”
His lips turn into a pout. “Wawa,” he demands.
I officially rank below the pool. At least the kid knows his priorities. He can’t even speak in full sentences, but it looks like I could still learn a thing or two from my youngest nephew.
“I think it’s time I give the man what he wants.” Austin smirks. “Just shout if you need anything.”
He heads over to the boys while I join my mom and sister. The relief from the beating sun is immediate as I step into the cabana. I slide my wedge sandals off and sit on the open beach chair.
“I could get used to this.” Maddy sips on a fruity frozen mocktail. I’m not sure how she got a drink that fast, but I’m not one to ever underestimate the power of a pregnant mama and her cravings.
“Me too.” I lean back on the chair, stretching my feet out, when my sister turns to me.
“Explain,” she demands.
I tilt my head quizzically. “Explain what?”
Maddy sighs like she’s disappointed that we’re related. “The tea on why you brought Austin to a family wedding.”
My mom nods. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you were dating.”
“Dating?” Maddy squeals. “You’re fired from sisterhood.”
“We’re not actually together.” I pull sunglasses out of my clutch and slide them on, hoping they’ll hide the truth written in my eyes.
“I had a plus-one and Austin had the week off. When I ran into Bradley and Bianca at a game, they assumed we were together, and it felt easier to go with it than explain our friendship.”
My sister shakes her head. “You’re not getting off that easy.”
Well, it was worth a shot. I should know better by now. Nothing will get past the force that is Madeline Louise Cartwright Roth.
“What happened with that singer you were talking to?” Mom chimes in.
“Rhett.” Maddy sips her drink. “Yeah, you said it was the best first date you’ve ever been on.”
I stare down at my new manicure, trying to appear nonchalant. “Things didn’t work out.”
“You don’t say.” Sarcasm drips from my sister’s words.
“Why not?” Mom asks.
“It was hard getting to know him in the small spurts of free time he had since he’s on tour.”
“And?” My sister draws out the word, digging for more.
They’re both quiet, waiting me out until I break. But I won’t break. I’m as strong as a fortress. My feelings are locked away for no one but me to know.
But the longer they stare at me in silence, the more I begin to sweat. Isn’t the point of a covered cabana to help you not sweat? I pull my top away from my skin and fan myself.
Then I make the mistake of looking my sister in the eye.
I fold like a crepe.
“I’m in love with Austin.” The words tumble out, unable to be contained any longer. Just speaking them into existence is a weight off my chest. I know my mom and sister will take my secrets to the grave, and finally having people who love me know the truth is freeing.
My sister sets down her drink. “It took you long enough to admit it.”
“I’ve been praying for this day for three years.” Mom places a hand on her heart, her smile wide.
“I didn’t realize my love life was such a topic of discussion.”
Maddy scoffs. “Are you kidding? I live in a house with three boys, soon to be four.” She rubs her stomach. “I live for your first-date stories. It’s like my own personal reality show.”
“Those dates would stop, though.”
“Watching you fall even more in love with a pro baseball player who already feels like a part of our family will be even better.” She snaps her fingers.
“Then I need you to get on the baby-making game pronto and give me some nieces I can spoil.” My eyes go wide as she picks her drink back up with a sigh.
“Why do they have to make all the cute baby clothes for girls?”
“Baby-making?” I squeak.
“I think you’re jumping the gun a little, Mads,” Mom says.
“Thank you,” I breathe, thankful for her backup.
“They need to get married first. It’ll be the most beautiful wedding.”
Or not.
“Just imagine the dance floor filled with tall, muscular baseball players.” Maddy closes her eyes and nods like she’s imagining the scene in her head.
Hearing some of the people who love me most talk about me marrying Austin and having little babies that are half me and half him makes everything feel more real.
Like hearing my dreams finally spoken aloud makes me realize how badly I want them to come true.
And knowing they think it could actually be a possibility sends my heart racing.
But for right now, I still want to play it cool. “No wedding. No babies. I don’t even know if Austin feels the same way.”
Maddy shoots me a look. “No man willingly goes to the wedding of your cousin and ex-boyfriend with you if they’re not at least a little interested.”
“She’s right,” Mom agrees.
I shake my head, trying not to let their optimism take root. There may have been some small signs of flirting recently, but if I allow myself to believe Austin has feelings for me and nothing comes of it, I’m not sure my heart will recover.
“But he doesn’t want to be with anyone. Not right now.” I slide my sunglasses up, resting them on the top of my head so I can look my mom and sister in the eye. “There’s something I haven’t told y’all.”
I spill everything like a toddler holding a cup with no lid. Everything from how I met Austin at the fancy event by pretending to date him in front of Bradley and Bianca to how he kissed me to prove it.
“You kissed?” my sister screeches.
I throw a beach towel at her. “Do you want him to hear?”
“Sorry.” She grimaces. “But if you kissed, then why aren’t you dating?”
“He walked me to my car and asked for my number.” I don’t bother adding that I thought it was going to be the start of my forever.
The story I’d tell my grandkids about one day.
“And he friend-zoned me. Told me he needed to focus on his career but would love to have someone who knew Louisville show him around.”
My mom frowns. “I can’t believe our sweet Austin would kiss you and then diss you like that.”
“Ugh, he can be serious about his career and date at the same time.” My sister rolls her eyes. “Plenty of pros across all sports are at the top of their game while starting families. The two can coexist.”
“I know, but he also hopes to play for Boston once he’s a free agent in a few years.” I shrug. “I think he’s so focused on the future that he isn’t allowing his mind to stray from that one goal. I’ve done my best to forget about my feelings, but it’s easier said than done.”
“You’ve shoved your feelings down for three years?” My mom’s eyes brim with tears. I nod, and she pulls her mouth to the side, her telltale sign that she’s trying not to cry. “I hate that you’ve been holding onto this alone for so long. You know you can always come to us about anything.”
“I know.” I offer her a sympathetic smile. “Shoving my feelings down and not talking about it was what helped for a while.”
“But it didn’t make you forget that kiss?” Maddy smirks.
“I’m not sure anything could.” Even if all my memories of Austin were erased, I think I’d still feel the ghost of his lips on mine. A far-off, niggling memory that would haunt me for the rest of my life when no other man could measure up to the feelings he stirred up in me.
My mom leans forward in her chair. “Then I know what needs to be done.”
“Enlighten us, Mother,” Maddy teases.
Mom shoots her a warning look before turning her attention back to me. “Use this time in St. Lucia as your opportunity to show him what a life with you would look like. If he hasn’t fallen madly in love with you by the end of the trip, then he’s out of his mind.”
My sister nods along. “That’s actually not a terrible idea. You can go to all the events together. Swim in the ocean. Dance with him. Do all the things you never have the time or opportunity to do together back home.”
I had a bare-bones plan before. Get Austin here: check. See if the romance is still there between us: in progress. But the more they talk, my confidence builds. This just might actually work.
“Did I also mention we’re stuck sharing a room?”
Mom gasps while Maddy wiggles in her chair.
“Even better. You should tell him you didn’t bring any pajamas.” Maddy grins suggestively.
Mom swats her arm. “She will not be sleeping naked next to her friend.” She whispers the last word like it’s a swear word.
I laugh as lines crease Maddy’s forehead. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Mom. I was implying that he could offer her one of his shirts to sleep in. Guys love seeing a woman in their clothes.”
“Oh.” Mom tilts her head, mulling over the idea. “That might work.”
“What might work?” Austin runs a hand through his wet hair.
Water droplets run down his toned torso, and I watch them drip onto the pavement.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m jealous of pool water.
I’m brought right back down to reality, though, when I realize what he asked and what we were just talking about.
I shoot a nervous glance at my sister, who blessedly chimes in, “Oh, we’re talking about old wives’ tales on how to induce labor early.”
Austin averts his gaze. “Ah, sorry to interrupt your…lady talk. I was just going to see if the boys are allowed to have a small bowl of ice cream. They have poolside soft serve.”
“Isn’t Elliott with you?” I ask.
“Yeah, but he told me to go ask the boss.”
Maddy laughs. “That’s because he wants me to be the bad guy.” She glances at the time on her phone. “They can share one. I don’t want to spoil their appetite.”
Austin salutes her. “You’ve got it.” He turns to me. “You good?” I nod, and he looks at my mom and sister. “Can I get anyone anything?”
Maddy beams up at him. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Me too. But thank you, Austin,” my mom says.
“Great.” His lips tilt in a slightly lopsided grin as he faces me again. “I’ll find you later.” He heads back to the pool, and we hear the boys cheer when they find out they get ice cream before dinner.
I giggle and turn to mention how cute it is to my sister and mom, but they’re already staring at me. Maddy has taken off her flip-flop and is using it to fan her face. “Are you really going to try to argue that he doesn’t have feelings for you after that?”
“He just asked if he could get us anything.”
“But that grin.” Mom looks like she could burst into happy tears at any moment.
“And the way he said he’d find you later.” Maddy fans herself again.
I shake my head. “Y’all are making something out of nothing.”
“If you really think that, then take my advice. Casually mention to him that you didn’t bring anything to sleep in. Wear his shirt to bed and pay attention to how he looks at you. Then try to tell me it’s nothing.”
I blow out a breath. On the off chance she’s right, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. “I’ll try it. Just don’t get your hopes up.”
“I don’t need to hope when I have intuition.” Maddy turns to our mom with a conspiratorial gleam in her eyes. “We’ll be planning that wedding before you know it.”