25. Chapter 25
I shift to look at Austin. He’s watching me with cautious eyes and that lopsided grin I love so much, his dimple on full display. “Do you mean that?”
“I mean everything I say, especially when it comes to you.” Austin swims closer, stopping right in front of me. He places his cool, wet palm on my cheek. I immediately melt into his touch. He gently tilts my face until I’m meeting his gaze. “Talk to me, Lyssa.”
“I’m confused about where we stand.” I look at the lush green trees on St. Lucia, unable to bear looking at his face. “About what we are.”
“Then let’s get everything out in the open.” He brushes his thumb along my cheekbone. “When I told you I wanted you, I meant that.”
“And that kiss?” I ask, hoping he understands the underlying question.
“Don’t get me wrong, our first kiss was amazing. But this one was even better because it felt like the first moment we both truly chose each other.”
I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to ask the question that’s been holding my mind captive since yesterday. “And the comment about Bianca and Bradley watching?”
He drops his hands. “I wanted to clear that up. I didn’t point them out on the beach because I wanted them to see.” Austin’s jaw tenses. “I was worried they did see. That anyone saw that kiss when it felt so special and monumental. Something just for the two of us.”
My heart pounds in my chest at his admission. “So, it wasn’t for show?”
He moves closer, placing his hands on the side of the pool, trapping me between his arms. He leans in until his face is only inches from mine. “I meant what I said in the ocean. I just want you.”
Butterflies flood my stomach, hearing him repeat the words I wanted to believe were true. And now finding out they are, I can’t hold back my smile.
He kisses my cheek. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“I want that, too.” I wrap my arms around his neck and run my hands through the ends of his hair. “But when we first met, you said you wanted to focus on your career. And with you potentially getting traded, where does that leave us?”
Austin hesitates, like he wants to make sure he says the right thing.
“I was attracted to you when we first met, but you’re right.
I was solely focused on baseball. If I’d been open to dating back then, I would’ve asked you out that night, but since I’d just made it to the majors, I knew I needed to prove myself.
To show them I was the right choice. And I thought that wouldn’t leave time for anything else.
With the possibility of being traded at a moment’s notice…
my future always feels unpredictable.” He shrugs.
“But when you started talking to Rhett, I realized I could lose my shot with you—and I knew I needed to take the risk.”
He moves a hand to my waist, brushing his thumb along my hip. “I can’t imagine life without you, Lyssa. There are obviously some unknowns, but we already make a friendship work when I’m on the road. I know it would be different with dating, but I’ll always make time for you.”
I feel like I’m in a daydream, hearing Austin say all the words I’ve wished he would for years. But I don’t have to worry about waking up this time because what we have is good and right and real.
Austin ducks his head, a blush on his cheeks, before grinning down at me again. The expression on his face is shy but hopeful. “That is, if you’re interested in being my girlfriend?”
I try to maintain a poker face, make him sweat a little bit after all this waiting. But it’s only a few moments before I’m beaming up at him. “It took you long enough to ask.”
He closes the short distance between us and presses a brief kiss to my lips. My body arches into his, my arms instinctively draping around his neck. His scruff leaves my face tingling in the best way.
“We lost so much time because I thought I wouldn’t have time for both a career and a relationship.”
I run my fingernails through his hair, and his eyes flutter closed. “We didn’t lose anything. We just spent a little more time building the foundation.”
“And if I get traded to another team across the country?” He searches my gaze.
“Then we figure that out when the time comes. Together. As a couple.”
He sighs, like he can finally breathe now that everything is out in the open. His smile reappears, bringing his precious dimple with it. I press my thumb into the small divot, making his grin widen.
“You know, I heard a solid friendship is the best foundation for a relationship,” Austin says.
“Really?” I open my mouth in fake shock. “I heard the same thing.”
“Then I guess we’re off to a great start.” He pulls me in for a hug. I wrap my legs around him as he holds me in the water.
I breathe in the clean scent of his cologne. “You smell amazing.”
“So do you.”
I laugh, knowing I probably smell like a combination of sweat from my morning workout and this salty pool water. “You don’t have to protect my feelings.”
“I’m not.” He pulls back enough to look at me, lifts a section of my hair that’s still dry, and sniffs it. “Your coconut shampoo mixed with the Caribbean air is intoxicating.”
I smack his hand away. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m not ridiculous.” He wraps his arms around me again. “I’m yours.”
“Even in my feral, couch potato, cookie-eating state?”
“Aly Kat just might be my favorite version of you.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh really?”
He grins. “Every version of you is my favorite.”
“That’s cheating.”
“Who are you going to call? The dictionary police?”
I hold my hand up to my ear as a fake phone. “Hello, dictionary police? I’d like to report this man for—”
“Being too sexy?” Austin cuts in, squeezing my sides.
I lean my head back and laugh, feeling lighter and happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve always been a perfectionist. And my fear of failure held me back a lot of my life, made me scared to go after what I really want. Including taking a chance on telling my friend how I really felt about him.
While a part of me wishes I had said something sooner, I’m glad things happened the way they did. That I had the chance to get to know the real Austin as a friend first and slowly fall for him.
All these years, I kept taking chances on dating, but now it’s time to take a chance on myself. To trust my intuition and feelings. To allow myself to be loved, imperfections and all, by the best man I’ve ever known.
“When did you know?” I ask.
“That I liked you as more than a friend?” I nod, and he dips his head. “I don’t want it to sound bad.”
My forehead crinkles. “Why would it be bad?”
“Because the guys are the ones who helped me realize it.”
“Okay, I need to hear this story.” Just thinking about his teammates talking about dating makes me giggle.
“Long story short, they helped me see why I was so worked up over you talking to Rhett. I thought I didn’t want to lose the time I got to spend with you after every failed first date.”
I run my hands along his strong shoulders. “But the real reason?”
“I was never going to like anyone you dated because they weren’t me.”
Leaning forward, I press a kiss to his cheek, reveling in the fact that I get to kiss him anytime I want now. “I compared every guy I dated to you without even meaning to. The girls even made me test out this article when they set me up with Rhett.”
“What article?”
“‘20 Questions to Fall in Love.’”
“You were trying to fall in love with him?” Austin croaks.
“I was trying to fall for someone else to help me forget about my feelings for you,” I admit. “But it didn’t work. I wove some of the questions into my conversations with Rhett, and his answers were great. He was great.” I cup his cheek, and Austin nuzzles into my touch. “But he wasn’t you.”
“I like the sound of that.” He leans in and brushes a featherlight kiss against the soft spot beneath my ear. “What were some of the questions?”
“Things like the last concert you went to. What you consider to be your greatest accomplishment. Your top three TV shows of all time. How you de-stress.” I shrug. “I already knew your answers to most of them just from our natural conversations.”
“We’ve never had to force our connection.” He smiles. “That was another thing I told the guys. Everything is just easy with you. I don’t have to worry about anything when I have you by my side. Someone I trust implicitly.”
Hearing him put such simple but meaningful words to our relationship makes me feel just as warm as the sun’s rays beaming down on my face.
“Plus, I’ve thought you were absolutely gorgeous from the moment I saw you with powdered sugar coating your lips.”
I gasp. “Is that why you called me Sugar Lips in front of Bradley and Bianca?” He nods, and I groan. “I can’t believe that was your first impression of me. I always try to be perfect—”
“It was perfect”—his thumbs rub my sides—“because it was you.”
And I believe him. That he likes the real me, imperfections and all.
He moves his arms around to my back, pulling me closer. “Tell me more of these questions.”
But what I hear is: What questions do I need to answer to get you to fall in love with me?
And the answer is embarrassingly few. Because I’ve been falling hard for this man all along, and now that I know he has feelings for me too, there’s nothing stopping me from falling in love with him.
“How about some of the ones I don’t know the answers to? Fair warning, they’re all about relationships.”
He dips his chin slightly. “I’m an open book for you.”
“How do you like to give and receive love?”
“I’m a big physical touch guy and love quality time. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, just being with you is enough.”
A professional baseball-playing man who knows the love languages is the hottest thing. Step aside, Scoville scale, there’s a new measurement tool in town.
“What are yours?” he asks.
“The same as you, honestly. I think all the love languages have a place in a relationship, but those typically mean the most to me.”
Austin grins. “Good to know.”
“Do you have any nonnegotiables in a relationship?”
Austin’s answer doesn’t come immediately this time.
He peers off toward the beach, looking lost in thought.
“I’d say communication, commitment, and trust. I think everything else stems from those three things.
With healthy communication and trust, I think any relationship can go the distance.
And if we’re committed to each other, we don’t have to worry where each other’s loyalties lie, and I know that you’re not going to wake up one day and decide you don’t love me anymore.
We’re committing to choose each other every day. ”
I blink up at him in awe. “I don’t know what to say.”
He grimaces. “Was that a bad answer?”
I shake my head. “It was perfect.”
He rubs his hands up and down my back as I think of the next question.
“How do you like to handle conflict? Are you more of a go-to-bed-angry-and-talk-about-things-once-you’ve-calmed-down kind of guy or a resolve-things-as-soon-as-possible kind of guy?”
He rakes a hand through his hair, making it fall in wet, messy clumps.
“I don’t like letting things fester. I honestly felt a little sick yesterday waiting to talk to you, but I know you’re someone who needs to prepare for hard conversations, so I was happy to give you the time you needed to sort through your thoughts. ”
I grimace. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. If I’d known this is how the conversation would go, I would’ve been open to having it much sooner.” I intertwine my fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck. “I guess we’ll both have to do a bit of compromising when it comes to conflict.”
“Relationships are all about compromise. There’s always going to be a give-and-take, but as long as we’re a team attacking the problem together, we can get through anything life throws at us.”
“I like that. Us against the world.” I smile up at him. “Honestly, I’m still in shock this is real.”
He shifts me closer, kissing my temple. “This is the realest thing in my life.”
I lean into his embrace, loving how natural and right this all feels. “Last question, then I need some lemonade. I’ve never really heard you talk about any exes. Why did your last relationship end?”
“That would be because it was back in high school.” He chuckles.
“After that, I was so focused on baseball that I never seriously dated anyone. Maybe a handful of dinners or evenings talking to women when I was out with my teammates, but nothing worth writing home about.” His fingers trail up and down my back, making me wish we were alone right now and doing something other than talking.
“As for my high school girlfriend, it only lasted six months and was a surface-level relationship. We started dating after dancing together at homecoming and broke up before the end of the school year. She got annoyed that I spent more time practicing than with her.”
“What did you learn from it?”
“How not to be, I guess.” He shrugs. “Deep down, maybe that’s why I never wanted to date anyone again until I retired. I didn’t want to fail at balancing a relationship with my career.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “What’s different now?”
“I have a girl worth breaking all my self-imposed rules for. Someone who makes me want to come home early and who has been on my mind constantly the past few weeks. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”
Tears fill my vision as I soak in the moment, loving how there’s nothing hidden between us anymore. All feelings are out in the open.
“You know, that night of the no-hitter against the Sharks, I was miserable that we weren’t talking that week.
I couldn’t hit a pitch to save my life. But do you remember that game I played out of my mind?
The one where I pointed at you in the stands after?
” I nod, remembering it vividly. “That was the day I had the conversation with the guys. When I realized my feelings for you weren’t platonic.
” Austin tangles his fingers in my hair, and I don’t even mind that it’ll be a beast to brush out later.
“You make me a better baseball player. And you make me just want to be better. The kind of man you’re proud bringing to family events and coming home to each day. ”
There aren’t words to convey how I feel.
To encompass the overwhelming joy, excitement, and anticipation coursing through my body.
It feels like we’re in our own little slice of paradise.
A happy bubble that no one can burst. I place my hands on his cheeks and pull his mouth to mine, saying with each kiss what I’m unable to express otherwise.
Still trying to fathom that he’s my boyfriend.
When we finally pull apart, his dimple is back in action. “I guess that means I passed the questionnaire?”
I smile. “With flying colors.”