Chapter 2
Everything went quiet—the chatter, the room, the cynicism in my mind. All I could hear was the rasp of his breath as the world paused. An electric current traveled through my blood, igniting a slow heat in my belly. Our lips barely touched, but a shiver rippled over my skin.
Cole’s careful stillness in the first second made me question my impulsiveness. Had I gone too far? Maybe, but I was balanced precariously between our chairs, my hand flattened over his chest to steady myself, and his heartbeat sped under my palm. I wasn’t the only one affected.
What the fuck was I doing?
I didn’t kiss random people in a very public study area, especially not hotshot hockey players. The little voice in the back of my head that sounded disturbingly like my mother screamed at me to snatch back my hand, throw him a quick goodbye, and get the hell out of the library.
Instead, my fingers curled into the material of his shirt, and I sighed.
Cole’s lips curved against mine before he devoured me. His hand speared into my hair to hold me in place, and I surrendered. Completely. The kiss was supposed to be a demonstration, a pretty ruse for the sorority rejects hunting him, but nothing about it felt fake.
Shock and heat dumped into my system, and I let myself sink into the sensations. For one glorious moment, I forgot—Scott’s manipulations, my mom’s betrayal, my dad’s apathy. I forgot the hard-earned lesson to keep myself distant, to separate my heart from the world, to never trust a guy who seemed too good to be true.
To my horror, I wasn’t the one who came to my senses first. Cole relaxed his grip and eased away, far enough for me to catch my breath, but not nearly the distance I needed to shove the unexpected longing back inside.
“No wonder they want your attention,” I mumbled.
Cole chuckled and leaned over to put his mouth against my ear. “You should see what I can do when I don’t have an audience.”
There it was. My face flamed at his whispered words, but I viciously shoved the temptation to the back recesses of my mind. I’d come over here anticipating him to make a play, and he hadn’t disappointed, though getting him to that point had taken a lot more effort than I’d expected. College hockey’s golden boy wasn’t much different than the rest of them.
I had to give him credit for being charming, but I’d sworn off charming, sexy men as well as hockey players. Add in that Cole was one of my dad’s hockey players, and he had three strikes against him.
My body didn’t give a single fuck. The instant response to him was an interesting complication, but I wasn’t done proving my point. The hero types never lived up to their reputations.
I tossed my hair over my shoulder and gave him a cheeky grin. “Down boy. Don’t fall for your own hype. I’m not looking for a private show.”
“Right.” His eyes flicked to the table of puck bunnies, now ostensibly talking amongst themselves about their next conquest.
I glanced around us, and most of the tables had stopped paying attention. Drama during finals week was both immediate and short-lived. Everyone had more important things to focus on, which worked for me. The audience wasn’t necessary. Cole seemed to come to the same conclusion because he leaned back in his chair and eyed me curiously.
“Is this the part where you run away?”
I raised a brow, suddenly feeling confrontational. “Why would I run?”
“Because you kissed the hell out of me, and unless I’m mistaken, you’re as surprised as I am by how good it was. Whether or not you were looking for it.”
The blunt truth shocked me. I’d turned him down. He should have been trying to charm my pants off or looking for a quick exit. Instead, he held my gaze with a subtle challenge. My eyes narrowed. Cole wasn’t pushing me to act on the kiss, only to admit it was good.
It was good, but I didn’t give in to thinly veiled challenges. Not anymore. “I don’t run, and you don’t know me.”
He watched with a slight frown as I stood and slid the strap of my messenger bag over my shoulder. I’d gotten Cole’s attention and proved he wasn’t the perfect specimen he pretended to be. Mission accomplished. Leaving wasn’t running. I’d done what I’d come to do, and now I had other places to be. Cole didn’t need to know the other places included my kitchen for a snack then bed with a good book.
I wouldn’t sleep. It took heavy duty medical intervention most nights, but I liked spending time by myself.
Dad would be haunting the rink by now, so there was even the possibility of catching up on my guilty pleasure show, Next Best Ninja. In general, I preferred books to reality TV, but something about watching athletes pit themselves against impossible obstacles hooked me every time. I was invested.
With my mind made up, I purposely kept my gaze away from Cole. The slow swirl in my belly urged me to change direction and plop down in his lap—really test his reactions—but I didn’t trust myself to stop at a simple test. My mind whispered one more kiss wouldn’t make much of a difference, and I knew I was lying.
Kissing him again would be for me, and it would mean ignoring those three strikes, something I wasn’t willing to do. I reached out to grab my coffee cup, but Cole’s hand shot out, wrapping around my wrist in a loose grip.
“Wait,” he said quietly.
“Why?” I stared down at his large fingers, idly wondering if the rest of him was proportional.
Nope. It was past time to derail that train of thought and get my mind straight. Still, I hesitated. I could pull away without any effort, but I wanted to see which direction he’d go. Asshole or good guy.
Cole’s thumb swept a line of fire across my wrist, then he released me. “I’m sorry. I was out of line. Will you stay? Please?”
I crossed my arms to keep the heat from spreading. “What’s in it for me?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
There he went with the blunt truth again. “And what’s in it for you if I stay?”
“You’re right. I don’t know you, but I want to. I’m terrified if you walk away this will have all been a fever dream… and there’s always the possibility I’ll need another shield.”
A smile trembled on the edge of my lips, but I didn’t want him to think he could sway me so easily. “Unlikely.”
I should leave. I should turn and walk away without a second thought… but I didn’t want to. After all the shit I’d been through with Scott, I was tired of taking the safe route. It hadn’t been all that safe in the end anyway.
Everyone I knew back at my previous school had broken ties in one way or another, not really a surprise given most of those people were friends of either my mom or my boyfriend. Ex- boyfriend. Very much an ex at this point. The safe route had left me alone and hurting.
Cole had those three strikes, but he could also make me smile. I missed smiling. Maybe I could chill the fuck out and pretend he was just a normal guy for the length of a conversation.
I set my bag down and sank back into the chair. “Okay, in the event your fans get rowdy again, I’ll throw myself in their path. You run as fast as you can for the exit. Ignore any calls for help and don’t look back.”
A smug smile curled his lips. “Damn, you must be a drama major.”
I snorted. “Never. Performing in public is right up there with quaint, isolated farmhouses and squirrels on my never-in-a-million-years list.”
A laugh burst from him. “Squirrels?”
“Yes, squirrels. They watch you with those beady eyes, judging, waiting for the perfect moment to ruin your sixth birthday.”
He held up a hand. “Is this all squirrels or just the one who had a vendetta against you?”
I smacked his shoulder, unable to stop smiling. “All squirrels. And most hamsters.”
“Your childhood makes me sad,” he deadpanned.
Yeah, me too, but I wouldn’t tell him that. Too personal. “What about you, farm boy? Did you spend your formative years frolicking with the local wildlife?”
“Not quite. You ever been chased by a goose? It’s scary as a grown ass man, but when you’re seven and scrawny, it’s the stuff of nightmares. Did you know they have teeth?”
He shuddered and I tried not to laugh at the image of a little Cole running for his life from a flock of killer geese. I was probably going to hell for my amusement, but I’d never been allowed close enough to geese to be chased. Mom would have lost her shit.
As simple as that, my good humor drained away. Mom’s reactions were no longer my concern, but it was hard to break a lifetime of habitual second guessing. I hid my face by taking a sip of my coffee, or at least I tried to. The cup was empty, a fact Cole picked up on immediately when I glared at it.
He jerked his chin toward the stairs. “I could buy you a new one. Wildcat Coffee isn’t too far away.”
My adrenaline spiked at the offer, but the lovely endorphins were mixed with disappointment. He hadn’t lasted long before trying to make our conversation into something more. After Scott, I wasn’t on the market for coffee dates even if Cole weren’t one of my dad’s prized hockey players.
“No, thanks.” I left the rejection short and sweet, a tactic I’d picked up from dealing with my mom. I’d become a pro at not revealing the mess under the fa?ade.
Cole pursed his lips. “How about lunch then?”
I had to give him points for his casual tone—persistent without making me feel pressured. He hadn’t ventured into asshole territory, and the effort made me relent enough to give him some of the truth. “Sorry, still no. My life is a mess right now, and I don’t have the bandwidth to add a new relationship to the mix.” I didn’t mention the three strikes or my newfound dedication to never putting myself in a position where a guy could hurt me.
He nodded slowly, studying my face. “I get that. Do you have the bandwidth for a friend with no ulterior motives whatsoever?”
I laughed at his painfully fake innocent expression. Temptation whispered in my blood. Cole was sweet, fun, and stupidly attractive. He’d made it clear he wanted more than friendship, but he’d also backed off immediately—a move I had to respect. Maybe some of his reputation was honestly earned.
The prospect of spending the break sitting alone in my dad’s house, regret heavy in the air, made Cole’s friendship seem like a warm little nightlight in the dark. Okay, so I was a little dramatic, but I came by it honestly—Mom was a drama professor.
“Okay, friend, what’d you have in mind?” I asked him.
Cole rubbed his hands together. “Something crazy.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and held it up. “We exchange numbers, and you text me when you want to hang out in an entirely platonic manner.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, but I’d already come too far. With a twist of my lips, I took his phone and texted myself. If he became a problem, I’d block him. No muss, no fuss.
“You’re not going to randomly call me at three a.m. or show up at my door with a hair doll or something, right?”
He held out his pinky. “Promise.”
I stared at his finger for a long moment before hooking mine through it and meeting his warm brown eyes. He was definitely closer to the good guy than the asshole. A smidgen of guilt pricked me when he grinned.
Guys like him didn’t really exist. Eventually, he’d want something I wasn’t willing to give, and he wouldn’t capitulate so easily. If I kept my head on straight—remembered he wasn’t a unicorn so much as a horse with a plunger stuck to its head—maybe I could relax enough to have some fun.
I couldn’t let myself get lost in him though. He had the potential to encourage all kinds of unfortunate decisions, and I couldn’t lose everything a second time.
On cue, my bag started buzzing. I frowned at Cole’s phone, still in my hand, then realized someone else was calling me. Only a few people had my number, and I didn’t want to talk to any of them.
I handed him his phone back and pulled mine out in time for the call to go to voicemail. A text came through a few seconds later.
Unknown number: Avery, stop being childish and call me back.
Rage burned away my tentative happiness. I may not have had his number saved anymore, but I’d recognize the insulting tone anywhere. Scott Whelan. The supposedly perfect ex-boyfriend I’d caught in bed with my mom.