Chapter 5
Feet thudded on the ground behind me, and I knew from the goosebumps rising on my arms Cole was gaining ground. I didn’t need the visceral reaction though. Dad wasn’t the chasing type, as evidenced by my childhood. If he’d been at all interested in interacting with me, I might have seen him at some point in the twelve years before I showed up at his door.
But I hadn’t. Dad didn’t want me unless I could be useful to him. As usual.
Cole, on the other hand, was definitely the chasing type.
Too bad for him I wanted to be alone. I was frustrated and angry enough to feel unsafe driving home, but with Dad here, the arena would be unlocked. At this hour, no one used the ice, and I craved the frosty quiet.
“Avery, wait.” Cole caught up to me in the hallway outside the rink.
I slowed my pace but didn’t stop. “Now’s not the time, farm boy.”
He ignored my warning and dodged in front of me. I tried to skirt around him, but he shifted into my path again. When I focused on him with a glare, he held up his hands.
“I’m here as a friend.”
I had to give him credit for not grabbing me. He’d managed to get me to stop without physical contact—a smart move on his part because I was just as likely to punch as I was to listen at the moment.
“Get out of my way, friend.” I growled the last word, uncaring if I destroyed the tentative connection we’d been dancing around.
“Talk to me, Avery.” His quiet plea cut through my anger.
The screaming muscles in my back relaxed, but I reached for the mask of bored irreverence I’d let drop over the last few days. Cole’s tense posture softened when I stopped trying to get past him.
“I have somewhere to be in a little bit, and I wanted some time to myself first. If that’s all right with you?” I shoved enough sarcasm into my last question to send most people fleeing the other direction.
Not Cole. The hint of a smile flirted with his lips. “Since I get to decide, I say you purge some of the anger coming off you in waves by talking to me. I can handle whatever you throw at me. Consider me a safe space. I’m sure wherever you have to be next will appreciate my efforts.”
My mouth dropped open a little at his audacity, and his gaze dropped to my lips. In an instant, the air between us ignited, burning away most of my ire. I snapped my jaw closed with a frown.
“What does it matter? I already said no.”
“Because no one should have to cry alone in an empty ice rink.”
As if he summoned them, tears pricked at the back of my eyes. Dammit, how did he know I wanted to be alone so I could purge my issues with a quick crying session?
Through sheer force of will, I maintained my composure. At a glance, Cole was a nice guy, the goodness practically oozed out of him, but I was still expecting him to transform into a monster at any moment. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Cole waited in the hallway, standing between me and the rink doors, and I had the distinct feeling if I pushed past him he’d just follow me. I could see it now. Me with mascara running down my face sobbing into Cole who sat next to me, letting me soak his shirt. The image was a little too cozy, and a little too apt.
I squared my shoulders and gave up on the idea. As much as I hated to admit it, Cole’s interference had probably saved me from being late. The faculty advisor of the TU Post was expecting me in twenty minutes, so I didn’t really have time to fix my makeup.
“Since I have no intention of crying in an empty ice rink, your white knight services are no longer needed. Crisis averted.”
Cole studied my face for a long beat, then nodded. “Can I walk you to your car before I ride off on my trusty steed?”
“I’ll bet you actually have a trusty steed, don’t you?” I countered.
He shrugged. “I have a horse on Grandpa’s farm. Max would probably take offense if you called her trusty. She likes to keep things interesting.”
I hiked my bag higher on my shoulder and started toward the outside doors. “You can follow along if you want, but I’m not going to my car.”
Cole kept pace next to me, close enough his hand almost brushed mine as we walked, but not close enough I felt suffocated. “Where are we going then?”
“The university newspaper office in the McFadden building.”
We exited into the crisp late afternoon air, and I had another set of second thoughts about taking the position with the paper. Yet another reason I’d wanted a few minutes alone. Dad had blindsided me with his request, but I’d already been worked up before I strode into his office.
I’d written for the newspaper at my last school, and I’d enjoyed it. One of the few things I missed from my life before. Unfortunately, the TU Post’s website left a lot to be desired for prospective writers. Eventually, I’d tracked down the faculty advisor after I finished my last remote final, and he’d been weirdly ecstatic to hear from me.
Professor Adkins taught several of the required classes for my journalism major, so I wanted to make a good impression. I didn’t think I’d last long if I showed up pissed off and horny. I shoved the animosity from my encounter with Dad into the recesses of my mind until I had time to process and breathed in the chilly air.
The faint scent of pine mixed with the distinct smell of guy soap. Not the bland cheap kind. The stuff that made me want to close my eyes and inhale until I filled my lungs. I leaned a little closer to Cole and took a tentative sniff. Yep. He smelled delicious.
Shitballs. I needed him to be less appealing.
I refused to watch Cole’s graceful stride next to me, despite the pull of my curiosity. He had to know he was gorgeous, and I wouldn’t contribute to his ego. Okay, I may have peeked at the way his shirt stretched across the muscles of his back when I’d first entered Dad’s office, but I was only human.
He rubbed his chin, and the faint rasp of his stubble nearly made me lose a step when my inner muscles involuntarily clenched. Cole’s eyes danced with mirth as he glanced my way, no doubt waiting for me to say something. I intended to walk the entire distance in silence, but I didn’t make it two blocks.
“Don’t you have little old ladies to help across the street?” I asked blandly.
“Nah, my shift doesn’t start until nine. How long do you think your meeting will be?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You are not waiting for me.”
He jerked his chin at the sun sinking below the tree line. “It’ll be dark soon. I’d get my white knight card taken away if they knew I left a beautiful woman to walk alone across campus after sundown.”
My chest gave an annoying flutter at his compliment, but I’d been around charismatic people my entire life. I knew words meant nothing. I also knew he was going to wait even if I protested. Part of me was tempted to take my sweet time at the newspaper office. I was just petty enough to get pleasure out of turning Cole’s outdated chivalry against him. Despite the near certain knowledge, I tried to convince him otherwise.
“I’m perfectly capable of walking across a campus by myself. I’ve been doing it for years without you.”
He grinned. “Sure, but you’re not without me now.”
Warmth spread at his smile, and I gave up after one pitiful attempt to reason with him. “I don’t know how long this will take. It could be a while.”
Cole tilted his head at me. “I have time.”
Fantastic. Now I could look forward to another stroll through campus trying not to sniff my dad’s mostly perfect hockey superstar. I should have been pissed at Cole. He didn’t need to go through Dad to ask me for help. Our friendship may have been new and fragile, but I wouldn’t have turned him down if he’d simply asked.
It was the disconnect between the way I should have felt and the disappointment floating around in my chest that made me ask the question instead of silently seething.
“How did you know I did English tutoring?”
Cole glanced at me in surprise. “I didn’t. Coach knew I had trouble with this lit class and refused to use the athletic tutors. He said he had a solution. I had no idea the solution was you until you walked in.”
The dip in his voice when he mentioned the other tutors told me there was more to the story, but I wasn’t ready to get involved. Yet.
“So it was a coincidence you texted me earlier and then showed up in Dad’s office?”
His jaw tightened. “I know how it sounds, but yes. How about you keeping your dad a secret? I feel a little stupid not connecting the dots before now, but you could have said something.”
“A little stupid?” I teased.
He sent me a half-smile. “Entirely your fault. You make one hell of a first impression.”
The McFadden building rose ahead of us at the end of the street, and I was frustratingly disappointed the walk was almost over. Cole had this ability to suck me into his orbit—to make me forget his three strikes and the hard-earned lessons from my past. He’d succeeded in lifting me out of my dark mood, and to be honest, I was tired of fighting his charm. Didn’t mean I was ready to stop tormenting him though.
“Okay, if you insist on escorting me around, you need to tell me something you’ve never told anyone else so I know you’re not secretly planning to murder me.”
He raised a brow. “Your city girl is showing.”
“Your country boy is going to get you killed,” I shot back. “You don’t even know if I’m from a city. I could have grown up in small town USA with the fruit festivals and the pig races.”
Cole laughed, a deep, throaty sound that did melty things to my insides. “I’ll tell you one of my secrets if you tell me one of yours.”
I waved for him to continue. “Proceed.”
We crossed the last intersection and stopped in front of the double glass doors, where he turned to face me. “I’m obsessed with your lips, and when Coach finds out I kissed you, he’s going to make me bag skate until I puke, but I wouldn’t change a thing. That’s a new secret as of about thirty minutes ago, so it belongs solely to you.”
“I kissed you.” My mind refused to focus on any other part of his secret.
“Good point. I’ll make sure to bring that up between sprints.”
“It’s none of his business who I kiss.” The embers of my earlier anger threatened to flare up, but I maintained the death grip on my composure. “And it won’t happen again, so I think you’ll be fine.”
His eyes shuttered for a split second at my reminder. “Fair enough. Was my admission good enough to ease your mind?”
I looked him up and down, considering. “I suppose, though being obsessed with my mouth doesn’t really go far in convincing me you don’t plan to wear my skin like a coat.”
Cole leaned closer, and I thought he might be about to call my bluff—because I may have started that kiss in the library, but he’d finished it. If he kissed me again, I was definitely not pushing him away.
Instead of testing my boundaries, he reached past me to grip the handle on the door, slowly opening it. “You owe me a secret.”
I wanted him to touch me. The sudden realization zipped up my spine like an electric shock, and I ordered my mouth not to share that tidbit. I wrenched my attention away from his distracting face to walk into the empty lobby of the building.
Business hours had ended a while ago, so no one manned the desk facing the doors. I’d been in there a handful of times before for admin stuff when I transferred, but the office I needed wasn’t up the stairs in the rooms with the big windows. I was headed into the basement with the rest of the newspaper nerds.
Cole followed me in and nodded at the line of chairs against the wall. “I’ll be waiting here. Text me if you need me. Or scream really loud if you find the serial killer you’re convinced is wandering around Addison.”
He sat in one of the padded chairs, folded his hands over his stomach, and stretched his long legs out in front of him like he had nothing better to do than sit in an empty building waiting for a girl he barely knew.
Maybe he didn’t. It was none of my business if he wanted to waste his evening playing on his phone. I turned to head for the stairs down, then paused. He’d given me what I asked without hesitation. One secret wouldn’t kill me.
Something nobody else knew.
Without turning around, I called his name. “I’ve never had an orgasm I didn’t cause myself.”
His choking sound brought a smile I badly needed after admitting my embarrassing truth. Scott had taken every opportunity to convince me I was the problem. Constant complaints disguised as understanding, demeaning suggestions for ways I could improve, none of it came close to blaming him in any way. Something told me Cole wouldn’t have a similar problem.
I wasn’t sure what waited for me at the bottom of the stairs, but I knew what I left behind at the top of them. A part of me shifted at the soft laughter following my footsteps—a tiny crack in my wall. If I wasn’t careful, Cole could cause everything I’d built to come tumbling down.
I needed to remember he wasn’t the perfect guy he presented to the world. They never were.