Epilogue Part 1
jordan
Six Months Later
Psst! Hey you. Yes, you. The one reading this book.
Yeah, I can see you. Did you think I didn’t know you’ve been sitting there reading this smutty little romance book?
God, I love it so much. I don’t know about you, but this one is one-hundo percent my favorite.
Listen, Ellie says I’m not supposed to talk to you, but I figured you’d want a little recap of what’s happened in the last few months.
So…we’re pregnant! Holy shit, right? But you knew that already, didn’t you?
I’m actually in the middle of the baby shower right now.
My entire team is here, and all their wives, girlfriends, and both of our families.
I know showers are supposed to be for the mom-to-be, but I was not about to miss the gifting event of the century.
This shower is just as much for me as it is for her.
Similar to the gender reveal that I meticulously planned, I wanted everything to be perfect.
We had the party at the arena. I recreated my Ice Ice Baby routine, except this time, I had my pyrotechnics guy hook me up with colored flames that would shoot out of my hands for the sex of the baby. Kenni and I had no idea until the flames went off.
One pink. One blue.
Twins. I knew I had strong swimmers, and I was fucking right!
And now, we get to introduce a little Kenni and a little Jordan into the world.
I was honestly hoping for twin girls, just because I grew up with all women, and I am somewhat terrified to raise a boy.
I was a terror of a child, so I can only imagine my own spawn combined with Kenni’s being a handful.
But, regardless of their personalities, they are both going to play hockey, and both are going to learn to fly.
If they want to, of course. But…I have a feeling they will.
Kenni has promised me we can go flying together after the babies are born.
But I won’t let her until there are not four of us sitting in the flight deck.
She’s going to take a little break from work for a while to focus on the babies.
I did end up Crazy Rich Asians buying the Riders’ private airline company, so she can now do whatever the hell she wants.
She won’t be flying for the Riders for a bit—we can’t both be on the road with babies.
But she can take on private clients whenever she gets an itch or wants to keep up her flying requirements until she’s ready to come back.
And if she wants to go back to flying full-time? I’ll give all this up to be a stay-at-home dad.
We’ve moved into my house. She really hated how big it was, claiming it was too much house, but with twins and a full-time nanny, plus having space for our families to stay when they visit, her apartment wasn’t going to cut it.
Yeah, I know. Full-time nanny sounds like Richy Rich 101.
But, with my job, I can’t always be here to help her, so it’s the only option.
I’ve heard how excessive it is from her a billion times; she’s convinced she can handle this on her own, but I’m not taking any chances.
She’s the queen of my world, about to give birth to the prince and princess of my world, and she’s not going to be struggling when I’m away.
Shit…it’s time to open gifts, and I’m being summoned.…I’ll be right back.
“Awww.” Everyone collectively ooos and ahhs at the gift Kenni opens, tears filling her eyes again. Walt and Johnny got us onesies that say ‘I’ll have a bottle of the house white’ and ‘brewed locally with love.’
“Johnny got one of those insect machines to do crafts, and he can’t stop making things,” Walt says.
Johnny shakes his head. “For the millionth time, it’s called a Cricut.
And I’m making new merch for the bar’s annivers—” he’s interrupted by his phone buzzing in his hand.
“Hang on, I gotta take this.” He swipes across the screen and whispers as he walks out of the room.
“Johnny’s Travel Agency, this is Johnny. How may I assist you?”
“Did he say travel agency?” Maggie asks. “Why do I have a feeling he’s been behind some of the rooming mishaps this group has had?”
Kennedy and I share a knowing smirk, realizing he was probably the reason we were in adjoining rooms. I can’t even be mad at that meddling son of a bitch.
After all the gifts are open, Larsy stands, clearing his throat to address the group.
“Kennedy, Jordan. I want to say congratulations to you both,” he says, making my heart soar. This group has become such a family to us, and Larsy saying a few words is getting me all in the feels.
Larsy smirks, shaking out his speech. “And Jordan, since you wrote me such a lovely poem for my bachelor party, I thought I would return the favor here at your shower.” Ohhhh shit.
My heart is no longer soaring. My heart is nosediving through the air and crashing on a tropical island in the middle of the ocean.
“I’m not a poet, but I do happen to be married to a songwriter, so she helped me with the rhyming. ”
Kennedy is literally going to murder me in my sleep if this is anything like the poem I wrote for Larsy’s bachelor party.
“H-hey Hayes,” I say, patting him on the back, “that’s sweet of you, man, but you really don’t have to do this.”
He looks at me with a wicked smile. “Oh yes, Jordan. I do.”
“Larsy…my parents are here,” I whisper to him, the blood draining from my face.
“Guess you’ll have to wait and see how inappropriate this is then, huh?”
I glance at Kennedy, who has heard rumors of the poem I read at their destination wedding and is looking at me like she will, in fact, murder me. I bite the inside of my cheek, preparing myself for what’s about to come. There’s no taking things back. I made this bed, and now I have to lie in it.
“I’ve titled this…Bougie’s Baby Shower Poem.”
Oh God. Here we go.
“Today we celebrate Bougie and Kenni,
I’m sure this shower cost you a pretty penny.
You found a woman, and finally settled down
She was in the air, while you were on the ground.”
Aww, this is kinda sweet actually.
“But you two came together, surprising us all
And you impregnated her with the sperm from your balls.”
Kennedy rolls her eyes at me. Yeah. Okay. I’m definitely getting smothered to death in my sleep.
“But that’s as graphic as this poem gets
Because we’re here with all our parents.
Here’s to your babies being happy and healthy
As if they even need that cause they’ll be really wealthy
And whenever you feel you’re drowning in diapers
Remember you’re part of this family of Riders.”
My eyes burn while the world goes fuzzy. Dammit Larsy. I give my teammate the biggest hug. “Thank you for only referencing sperm and balls in the poem.”
“That is your gift. Not making that poem dirtier. Trust me…Olivia and I had some other ideas.” We both laugh. “Now…go sit with your wife so we can get a group photo.”
Oops! Did I forget to mention we got married?
I bought a ring the day after we decided to fake date.
Had my family jeweler on that shit in a flash.
You never know when you’re going to need to propose to your fake girlfriend, who you want to be more than your fake girlfriend.
It was the perfect day, one of many we’ve already had.
We were taking the Cup around Montreal on my day, with the glorious trophy my name is now engraved on forever.
Name a better day to propose to your girlfriend and the mother of your future children. I’ll wait.
Kenni never wanted a big wedding. But I did.
And she indulged me. We got married before the season started.
It was pulled together quickly, but when you have access to a lot of money, you can make things happen quickly.
She had a few things she wanted, but the rest was all me.
I’ll have to let Ellie tell you the whole story sometime, because it was epic. But I’ll save that for another time.
Right now, there’s only one word to describe my life.
Happy. We’re about to have two little ones to care for, and I’m over the moon ecstatic, and terrified, in the best way.
I have a beautiful wife, an amazing job, a great group of friends, and so many exciting things planned for our future that it would take years for me to list them all.
But for now, stay bougie, bitches!
Your forever friend and entertainer,
Jordan “Bougie” Boucher