Chapter 26
Beck
“She’s leaving,” I said to no one really in particular, even though my father was standing close enough I knew he could hear me while flipping burgers on the grill.
“So I heard, son.”
“I don’t know what to do.” I leaned against the railing on the deck, keeping an eye on Sloane. She was currently surrounded by a group of women, some from the neighborhood. I could only imagine the stories she was being told since my mother was her usual charming self. Hostess with the mostest.
“You do nothing.”
“She’s my mate.”
“So I heard.”
He flipped the burgers again, not bothering to look in my direction. Why did I have the distinct feeling he was annoyed with me?
“You have no fatherly advice?”
“Will you listen?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” I took a pull on my beer, hating I was sweating like a pig.
“I thought so.” He was dancing to the music, acting as if he had no care in the world when mine was about ready to implode.
“It’s not only because of losing my contract. I don’t know if I care about playing hockey any longer.”
Even that didn’t cause a reaction.
“Okay, fine. I don’t want to lose her.”
“Then don’t.” He finally looked me directly in the eyes all while placing the patties on a serving platter.
“So you’re telling me I should forbid her to leave?”
“You don’t get it, son. Do you?”
“What does that mean?”
“You can’t chase what you don’t own. She’s not your property. She might be your mate, but she’s her own woman. She’s proven that time and time again. Let her go.”
“That sounds a lot like an oxymoron, Dad.”
He finally chuckled. “I realize you and your brothers and sister only recently realized your mother was human. Maybe we shouldn’t have waited so long to share that with you.
I think that jaded your perceptions of what being lucky enough to find your mate truly means.
Not every shifter does nor are they required to. ”
“I don’t think I knew that.”
“That’s what I mean. Your mother crashed into my life much like Sloane did with you.
Mags was exactly like Sloane. Willful. Her own woman.
A professional with a job she loved. While we were close, she had a life in another state.
Even after realizing we were meant for each other, she wasn’t certain she could stay.
I made the mistake of chasing her like a rabid dog. All that did was push her away.”
“Okay. So I let her go and what, she’ll come back to me? She’ll figure out she can’t live without me because I’m such a catch?” I tried to laugh it off, even grinning as if I truly was all that and a bag of chips. But I knew better.
So did my father.
“You’re one annoying young man, Beck. As hell. Haven’t you ever heard the expression about letting something go?”
“Maybe, but I’m certain you’re going to refresh my memory.”
“You bet I am. A quote accredited to Khalil Gibran. ‘If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.’ That’s something you need to understand and be prepared to live by.
Even though physically she’s your mate, that doesn’t and won’t mean she’s your possession.
That’s the difference in learning to be human instead of beasts of the wild.
But in truth, you don’t want a woman without a backbone. That’s not how you were raised.”
I fiddled with the label on the beer bottle, noticing she continued to glance in my direction. “Yeah, I know.”
“And it hurts like hell. If that’s the case, then you know you love her. While chemistry and our DNA create a need, the difference that creates our lives and our happiness is all about appreciating love when it comes along. Not because it’s forced, but because it was meant to be. Let her go.”
“How did you finally turn Mom around?”
“Time and a dozen roses sent to her every day.”
“What?”
“Yep. I drained my bank account. She finally flew out to tell me to stop. After that? Well, my charm took over. Take these to the table.” He winked as he handed me the platter.
“Dad, I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t as charming as you think you are.”
He pulled his drink to his lips, his eyes twinkling. “Why don’t you ask your mom that question?”
“I don’t think I want to know.” Laughing, I moved off the deck to the table of food. Within seconds, guests were swarming the area, ravenous for the beef.
If I didn’t better, I’d say the human members of the community were the wild beasts.
Watching Sloane was a lesson in forced gracefulness.
The thought offered a smile. She was like a bull in a china shop, yet she could finesse your ass off with a wave of her little finger.
Pops was right about so many things, including that one of the things I loved about her was her spunky personality.
Even if I’d need to take it down a notch or two.
I moved toward Sloane, determined to take what my father had said into consideration.
“Hiya,” I said as I approached. “Having fun?”
“Let’s see. Your sister asked if she could be in the wedding.
Your mother told me when I was ready, she’d tell me all the juicy stories about your childhood.
Your dad’s friend, Sam? I think that’s his name?
He told us all a story of hunting in the woods outside town, almost shooting a wolf before realizing it was your dad. All in all, a normal picnic.”
I laughed. “That’s my family. A little on the fringe.”
“Yeah, but I like them very much. They’re grounded. You’re all very close.”
“We are. Look, I need to say something to you.”
She pressed her fingers against my lips. “Don’t. We’re having a nice time together. Let’s just leave it that way. I can’t stand goodbyes. Can we just enjoy? Please?”
I thought about my father’s words and nodded. “Of course we can. Are you hungry? My dad’s burgers are edible at least, but you better get one before the wolf beasts over there.”
“Starving.” She started to walk toward the table and I hung back. “Aren’t you coming?”
“I’ll be right there. I just want to enjoy the view.”
With a sultry look still on her face, she walked away. Wouldn’t you know, Ford joined me doing nothing more than nursing on his beer.
“You’re in love with her.”
“Yeah, what of it?” I threw out. “Just had that talk with Dad.” I pulled the beer bottle to my lips.
“About the use of condoms.”
Spitting the entire mouthful, I shook my head. “You’re a shit brother.”
“At least I made you laugh. She’ll come back. Maybe not soon but someday, and I had a thought.”
“What’s that?” I wiped my mouth, still chuckling.
“I have some rope in the car I could loan you so you could tie her to the bed.”
“Nah, I’m not going to do that. If it’s meant to be, then she’ll come back.”
“Wow,” Ford whistled. “My baby brother is all grown up.”
“Yep. That’s me.” I studied her as she laughed, already bombarded by another neighbor, the busybody of the community. “On second thought. I’ll take that rope just in case.”
* * *
Sloane
If anyone was looking from the outside at the formally put together bitchy woman, they would ask one question.
What in the fuck are you doing?
The answer?
Exactly what needed to be done and something I should have accomplished at least a year before. Now I had a very good reason. What was it that Beck had told me? When one door closed, another opened.
That was something I’d carry to my grave.
Or the unemployment line.
As the building came into view, I steadied my nerves.
Not because I was anxious about seeing Matt or about what I had planned.
It was about holding back from killing the man.
The more I’d gotten into investigating information for the exposé set to hit the airwaves, the more vicious the ideas in handling the goodbye had become.
I hated goodbyes for a reason.
They always brought tears. Wait. Not always. In minutes, I’d be replacing sadness with rage and I planned on feeding off the energy for a couple of days.
For now, I felt like my life had been sucked out while leaving Beck.
My skin tingled.
My pulse raced.
My mind was filled with filthy images.
All I’d done the entire flight was cry. Not quite hysterically but enough that the flight attendant had shoved a glass of champagne in my hand. Seeing the roll of her eyes, I’d read her mind. She’d been eager to get me off her flight.
The last thing I’d wanted was to become emotional. I’d told myself that going back to Chicago was necessary, and it was. I had aspects of my life to handle that couldn’t be done over the phone.
What I hadn’t intended was to become so weepy. But here I was, now in a cab on my way to my destination and I still had tears in my eyes.
I’d begun to think so much of the way I was feeling was hormonal. The cravings I’d been experiencing had me scratching my arms. If I wasn’t careful, I’d injure myself and I wouldn’t have Beck to heal me.
At least during the flight, I’d come to terms with what I wanted to do. The only problem was if I’d fucked up with Beck and the only thing he’d ever wanted to do in his life. No, I wasn’t going to think of it that way. Positive thoughts only.
I paid for the cab and stared at the building. This was exactly what I wanted to do. With my bags slung over my shoulder, I headed to the elevator. By the time I reached the steel box, I was humming. As predicted, the sadness was gone, replaced by the rage I’d coveted.
When the elevator stopped on his floor, I was practically giddy.
One thing I’d learned about myself. I was excellent with acts of revenge.
When I was in front of his door, I heard music behind it. Maybe if I was lucky, he was entertaining. I pounded on the door several times.
Finally, Matt appeared. There was nothing like seeing the initial shock followed by a hint of fear he tried desperately to hide.
“What are you doing here.?” He looked past me as if worried.
I sidestepped him, moving inside. “Don’t worry. This won’t take long.”
He dropped his head, grumbling before closing the door. “I’m a little busy right now.”