21. One Other Thing
Chapter Twenty-One
One Other Thing
DYLAN
I paced around my living room, music playing through the TV speakers. Nike lounged on the couch, his tail swishing in the air, his big orange eyes trailing me. He was likely wondering why the hell I couldn’t sit still since I got back from Tampa.
I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about Miles.
Scratch that, I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking Miles.
That hotel rendezvous was one of the hottest encounters I’d ever had.
And it was made even better by the hours-long cuddle session afterward.
Talking about random shit, kissing in between laughter, hands lazily exploring each other, holding each other, and then back to fucking again before sleep overtook us both.
It was everything I’ve ever wanted. Someone to share not just the passionate, heated moments, but also the softer, delicate ones.
Someone I didn’t feel ashamed of wanting to ask if I could stick around after the rush of sex and hormones subsided.
That was Miles to me. And the fact that I was able to get the fated mate feelings off my chest made it all the better.
And all the more anxiety inducing too. It exposed my most inner emotions. I couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t say it was a joke, or a tease, or a mistake. It was real, and it was how I felt.
But, for some reason, it didn’t seem like he felt the same exact fated pull I did.
I didn’t doubt he had feelings for me, but I did doubt the intensity of them.
I was an overthinker. My mind swirled with “what ifs” that were rarely based in reality, fed instead by irrational fears and unfounded insecurities.
Maybe it was rooted in the simple fact that I saw, firsthand, the pain that a one-sided relationship wrought on someone.
My mom would cry in her room after Dad left her out of the blue, asking why in between silent sobs.
At least, she had tried to keep them silent, but my shifter hearing picked up on every sniffle and every choked breath and then I’d find myself crying alone in my room, unsure if going to her would make her feel better or worse.
She had loved him with everything she had.
Every fiber of her being had been dedicated to his love, and she had thought he felt the same.
Until he revealed an entirely secret life and soon had a new wife. My mom was left picking up the pieces of her shattered heart and was never the same again.
I protected myself from that pain by never letting myself be tied down, even if it was really all I wanted underneath the fuck-boy bravado.
But what was better? Having meaningless sex with a bunch of randoms and protecting your heart?
Or risking it all by handing over the blueprint to your soul to someone who could tear it up at a moment’s notice?
I thought the answer was simple. But after meeting Miles, it had become so much more complicated than I could imagine.
Then there was the fact that maybe he didn’t feel the same sense of fate that I did.
He certainly trusted me enough to open up about the tragedy of losing his mother.
My wound ran deep, but it wasn’t as all-encompassing and eviscerating as him knowing he’d never meet his mom.
I lived through the pain with my mom, but I could also call, text, or see her whenever I wanted.
Miles didn’t have that. He’d never be able to hug her or laugh with her.
And he felt like it was his fault. I could hear it in the way his words shook.
His cries still echoed in my head. I tried my hardest to comfort him, but there was no way I’d be able to completely erase the pain that stabbed at his heart with every beat.
In turn, the pain vibrated through my own chest, as if I could feel his trauma through mine. That’s how close I was becoming to him.
“Fucking hell.” I looked outside. Clouds were collecting on the horizon. I could go for a run, shift into my wolf form and just let my worries and thoughts fall off me like the raindrops from my fur.
But I had a better idea. I grabbed my phone and opened my texts with Chris. We’d been talking this morning about hanging out.
Dylan: Hey man, want to come over and chill for a bit? I could use a distraction right now.
Chris: Sure… I’ll be over in ten…
Dylan: Awesome, see you soon. Bring some beers.
Chris: You got it…
I locked my phone and went over to the couch, flopping down next to Nike.
He stopped his judgmental glare and instead nudged his head against my forehead.
He gave me a couple of purrs. The vibrations were the same as going to an hour’s worth of therapy.
I rubbed my head back on him. He was a good cat and my second best friend next to Chris.
Ten minutes later, there was a knock on my door.
I jumped up and opened it, revealing a slightly damp Chris, the rain coming down in sheets behind him.
He stepped inside, taking off his wet baseball cap and hanging it on the hook next to my keys.
Raindrops dotted his white sweater, but it would dry in a couple of minutes.
His gray sweats were in a similar state.
“Thanks, man.” I took the case of beer from his hands and brought it to my kitchen while Chris made himself comfortable on my couch. I opened two cans, set the rest inside my fridge, and went back to see Chris already starting up my PS5. Nike had taken his favorite spot on Chris’ lap.
“You got the new game I was talking to you about.”
I nodded, sitting down next to my friend. He’d taken off his sweater, and underneath was a T-shirt from our last Bobcats fundraising event. “It’s good. Not sure if it’s hooked me yet, but the fighting is fun. Story is complete shit, though.”
Chris shrugged. “I always skip cutscenes anyway. I can only read books for stories, not games.”
“Fair enough,” I said. He opened the game and leaned forward, taking a sip of his beer before placing it on the coaster on the coffee table. He was a neat freak and probably one of the only people who used my coasters—myself included.
“So what’s going on?” Chris asked. “What did you need a distraction from?”
“The fact that we’re tiny ants on a spinning rock that could get hit by a projectile rock at any moment which would then send us down the same fate as the dinosaurs.”
“And what else?”
“And the fact that I think I’m in love with our athletic trainer and pretty much told him that when we were together.”
Chris paused the game. He set the controller down. “Okay, that sounds like a bigger deal than the comet thing. What happened? When? Who, where, why?”
I shook my head and looked up at my ceiling.
I could hear the rain as it splattered against the roof and windows in heavy droplets.
I went into details on how I opened up to Miles about him being my fated mate and why I felt like that, and also how Miles basically said he didn’t feel the same way for me.
At least not in how I described it. The words were heavy, but the burden did feel lighter after explaining it all to Chris.
“Okay, so that does sound a little complicated, but… I don’t think it’s something you need to spiral over.
At least not yet. It sounds like he’s open to how you’re feeling and he’s getting to the same destination as you, it’s just taking him a little longer.
And that’s understandable, especially with what he said about his job. ”
“Yeah, but Chris, what about the whole fated mates thing? Look at Eli and Gabe. Eli’s said he felt that fated kind of spark from the jump. And he’s a human. Why wouldn’t Miles feel the same about me?”
“Maybe he does and can’t recognize it for some reason?
Sometimes the signs aren’t always there, for better or worse.
I mean, I can relate honestly. You know I’ve been having a hard time lately.
I came out of a six-year relationship that I was sure was fated, until I realized it wasn’t when she broke up with me completely out of the blue.
On my birthday. If you had asked me back then, even though she wasn’t a shifter, I would have said we were fated mates.
” Chris scratched the back of his neck. “Emotions and connections aren’t always super easy to pick up on.
And sometimes we can trick ourselves when those connections aren’t very clear.
My dumb ass was oblivious to the signs that the spark had died out a long time before the break-up.
Maybe he can’t feel the spark that’s started between you two?
He could be covering his eyes while you’ve got yours wide open. ”
“Maybe…”
“No seriously, though, your eyes are bugging. It’s creeping me out a little.”
I looked to Chris and opened my eyes even wider. “What do you mean, darling?” I asked in a creepy Victorian doll voice.
Chris cracked up at that. I leaned back on the couch, returning my eyes to their normal size.
“So what do you think I should do?” Chris may not have been the alpha of the Burlington pack, but he was the first one I went to for advice.
He had an air about him, a cool and unshakable confidence that I was sometimes envious of.
“What you’re doing. Being honest and open with him. And give it some time.”
“There is one other thing…” I hadn’t brought up Miles’ stalker yet. I didn’t think it had much to do with how we felt for each other but maybe that was wrong? I told Chris the entire story and then it was his turn to have bug eyes.
“Holy fuck. Seriously?”
“As serious as a dead doornail or whatever the saying is. Dead hangnail?”
“That changes things, Dyl.” His big, brown—almost golden—eyes filled with concern. I could see the twitch of his jaw underneath the dark scruff covering it. “You have to be careful. We’re shifters, but we aren’t invincible. A silver bullet in the back and you’d be done.”
That was something that’d been keeping me up at night.
I was on high alert. I didn’t even sleep with my usual ambient jungle noises because I wanted to be able to hear if anyone somehow got past my alarms and was coming to end me.
“We went to see Hunter—remember him? He dated Yuni for a bit. He couldn’t really tell us much, though. ”
“But this person clearly knows about you and Miles.” He seemed thoughtful for a moment. “And honestly, that could be a reason why Miles has been trying to put up a barrier. Maybe he doesn’t want to put you in danger.”
“I get that, but I’m a grown man. I can handle it.”
At least, I hoped I could handle it. The only fights I usually got into were on the ice.
And even then, we were wearing helmets and gear, and could be yanked off each other by referees if things got too out of hand.
I thought back to being taken by that rival pack, how the iron collar felt locked around my neck, how powerless I was.
I couldn’t defend myself then, why did I think I could defend myself now?
Except this time I had Miles. Back then, I honestly didn’t have much. I felt unmoored. Drifting around with only some vague goals and milestones to keep me going.
But the second Miles entered my orbit was the second the sun flared back to life. I had a reason to fight now. I would kick and snarl and claw anyone who threatened to hurt him or me.
“Have you talked to Emmy about this?”
I shook my head. “Only you. Miles isn’t part of the pack, I didn’t think it was something I needed to bring to him.”
“You’re part of the pack, and if Miles is your fated mate, then that brings him in as well. I think you should talk to him.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I grabbed my forgotten beer and took a few chugs. “I guess I also haven’t wanted to think about it much. It does freak me out. But fuck, I also don’t want this psycho keeping me apart from Miles.”
“Maybe it is smarter for you two to have some space.” He must have seen the face I made because he quickly amended himself. “While you’re figuring out who’s stalking and threatening you guys.”
“That could take a few days or that could take a couple of years.”
Chris pursed his lips. He knew I was right.
Still, I could understand that his advice was rooted in concern for me.
Chris had one of the biggest hearts I knew a person to have, sometimes to his own detriment.
I’d seen him give and give and give to people who didn’t deserve his time, much less his energy and compassion.
His alcoholic and abusive father was one of those people.
Someone who not only physically assaulted his own son but had also taken thousands of dollars from him.
He never stole from Chris, because he didn’t need to.
Chris would willingly give his father the money because of the sob stories about why he so desperately needed the cash.
Chris couldn’t turn him down, not once. He cared too much.
And I could see that now. I loved him for it.
My phone buzzed on the armrest of the couch. I was close to ignoring it but I saw a name I recognized from the corner of my eye. I unlocked it and read the message from Miles, my lips twitching into a smile even though I felt a pang of guilt and indecision.
“It’s an invitation,” I said, looking at Chris, my eyebrows rising. “Miles wants to take me out on a date.”
Chris stayed quiet for a moment. His expression was unreadable. The silence was only interrupted by the patter of rain against my windows. “What are you going to do?” he asked.
“I know the smart thing to do is to listen to what you’re saying. To have a little distance until we can figure things out but… since when did I ever make the smart choice?” I asked, knowing that my mind had been made up the second I read that text.