Chapter Ten #2
T oday is the day I’ve been dreading for the last week.
Memphis has been doing his best to keep me busy and help with everything.
We spent one day shopping for everything Bridger will need at my house.
I changed the room of his nursery so it’s next to my bedroom.
The crew came in, painted the walls and built all the furniture I bought for him.
Memphis made all the decisions because I couldn’t think straight.
He chose a light blue for the walls and dark wood for the nursery furniture.
I washed and dried all the clothing, bedding, stuffed animals, and took care of everything else we bought for my Godson.
Another day we got groceries for the house and cleaned out all the old food that was in here.
One day we had a movie marathon after visiting the funeral home and planning out the celebration of life for Nora.
I couldn’t focus on anything that day because the reality of the situation hit me hard once again.
Every single day Memphis has been at my side and helped me through every second of grief I’ve been going through.
He’s even talked to my parents when they call every single day.
The only reason they haven’t been home yet is because I told them not to.
Their business is important and Nora wouldn’t want them to leave for her.
Now, the day Nora’s death becomes a reality I can’t wish away or think I’m having a nightmare about.
Her funeral is today and I’m expected to give the eulogy.
I don’t know how I’ll get through it. Memphis is getting Bridger and himself ready while I shower and dress in one of my black dresses.
Instead of doing my hair today, Memphis brought in someone from one of the salons in town.
She styles my hair in loose curls with only half of it up the way Nora always loved seeing it.
The clip in my hair is a light lilac color that was her favorite and I’m wearing a necklace she got me when we graduated from high school and one of the bracelets I bought her with my first big paycheck.
“Ready to go?” Memphis asks me when I make my way to the living room where he’s sitting with Bridger in his arms.
“No. I’ll never be ready to bury Nora,” I tell him honestly as he stands from the couch and makes his way over to me.
“I know you’ll never be ready to bury her, Sweetheart.
You don’t have a choice in the matter though.
Let’s get to the funeral home so we can honor Nora the way she’d love,” Memphis straps Bridger into his car seat and lifts it in his hand before lacing our fingers together and walking us to the garage.
“Not drivin’ your small ass car today, Keaton. We’re gonna take the SUV.”
I give him the smallest smile because Memphis has been squished in my car and feeling claustrophobic every single day he’s dragged me out of the house.
He honestly lasted a lot longer than I thought he would in my car if I allow myself to think about the situation.
That means laughing and having a good time when I can’t do that any longer.
Nora will never laugh again and I’m not about to enjoy my life without her.
A large part of me died with her in that parking lot and I’ll never be the same again.
Memphis drives us across town to the funeral home and parks close to the door.
There’s already a few cars waiting there as he helps me out and leads me inside.
I see a few teachers in the room already along with some of her former classmates.
They all give me tentative smiles as Memphis leads me to the front row of the seating and takes the one next to me.
He keeps Bridger in the car seat between us on the floor.
I don’t have it in me to stand in front and greet everyone as they enter and pay their respects to Nora before sitting down.
The second If I Would Have Known by Matt Fretwell comes on, I lose it.
I can’t stop crying as the minister begins to speak.
When it’s time for the eulogy to be given, Memphis stands up and reads my words.
He made me write them down because he knew I wouldn’t be able to speak here today.
When he’s done, Memphis leads me outside and into the SUV where two women are waiting for us. One is the lawyer Nora met with and the other is a worker from CPS.
“Miss Jones, we won’t take up a lot of your time.
I’m Mrs. Anderson, the lawyer Nora met with.
I have copies here of her will and the paperwork giving you custody of Bridger.
She’s signed off on everything and I just need your signature on the papers to make everything official if you don’t have a problem with keeping your Godson.
This is Mrs. Randall and she’ll be your caseworker through CPS to ensure Bridger has his own room and everything he needs while in your custody.
She won’t push for a meeting today, but it will have to happen soon,” Mrs. Anderson tells me as she hands over a folder and I open it to reveal everything I need to sign inside.
“Miss Jones, I understand how hard this time is for you. Are you sure you’ll be able to properly care for Bridger while you’re mourning the loss of your friend?” Mrs. Randall asks me as she steps closer when everyone else starts to leave the funeral home.
“I’ll take care of him the way Nora wants me to.
I might be sad and missing Nora more than anything else in this world, but Bridger is the only part of her I have left.
Nothing will happen to him when he’s with me, I promise you that.
You can come to the house to look at everything whenever you want.
I have nothing to hide from you and just want everything taken care of as soon as possible so Bridger’s world doesn’t get tossed upside down more than it already has,” I assure her as Memphis shuts the door once Bridger is settled and gets in the driver’s seat next to me.
I sign off on all the papers and hand everything back to Mrs. Anderson.
“I’ll have copies of everything sent over to you tomorrow morning,” she tells me before stepping back.
“I’d like to stop by tomorrow morning. First thing. Can you be up around nine?” Mrs. Randall questions me as I look at her.
“We’ll be up and ready for your visit. Would you like breakfast when you show up?” I ask her seriously.
“That’s not necessary, Miss Jones. I’ll just be there to ensure Bridger has everything he needs and is in a safe environment,” she says with a small smile on her face.
I nod in response before both women leave and I turn in time to see Nora’s coffin being carried out and loaded into the back of the hearse.
Memphis drives us to the cemetery behind the hearse and we all get out to bury Nora in her final resting place by my grandparents.
There aren’t as many people here with us because I wanted it kept private and not a public event.
Nora hated spectacles and this wasn’t going to turn into one if I could help it.
So, there’s two teachers and a few of her favorite classmates here with us.
We don’t speak this time as I sit with Bridger in my arms while the coffin is lowered in the ground.
Memphis stands next to me and keeps a hand on my shoulder the entire time as I cry.
Memphis rushes back to the SUV at one point and brings us flowers he got at some point.
We have a small bouquet each filled with daisies in varying colors.
They were Nora’s favorites besides lilacs.
The second they start to throw dirt in the hole, Memphis gets me out of the cemetery and drives us back home.
I don’t do anything the rest of the day but hold Bridger in my arms and eat when Memphis shoves food in front of me.