Chapter Twelve
Keaton
T WO WEEKS HAVE flown by in the blink of an eye.
Every single day I miss Nora more than the previous one.
I need her words of wisdom and help with Bridger.
I love my Godson like he was my own, but I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here.
He’s still so young and dependent on me for everything.
Thankfully, my mom calls me every day to talk to me and I’ve called her in tears more than once when I can’t get Bridger to calm down.
I’ve tried everything in those moments, including what Ice did on the side of the road the day my car died.
Nothing seems to work. My mom says it’s because I’m nervous and scared I’m doing things wrong and Bridger can sense it.
But, I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of things and putting a routine in place that works for both of us.
I have Bridger in bed by eight each night after giving him his dinner and a bath.
He sleeps for about four or five hours before waking up to eat again.
Then I change his diaper and rock him until he falls back asleep for a few more hours.
In the morning, I feed him breakfast and then he has tummy time in the living room while I clean the kitchen and anywhere else where I can still see him.
While he naps, I write songs and have actually sold three of them to other artists.
Including one to the Wicked Angels. Memphis heard the song and loved it.
He played it for Knight and the rest of the band.
Onyx is the one who called me and asked if they could record it.
This is what works for us at this point, and I’m doing everything in my power to ensure each day remains the same so Bridger has a sense of stability and a new normal in his life.
Memphis calls me every other day when he gets a free minute to check on me.
He knows how much I’m struggling with everything and simply listens when I need to vent or cry.
I’m not sure what I’d do without him and my mom.
They’ve become my rocks at this point in my life when I need them the most. Memphis has also assured me the second he has a few days free, he’ll fly in to see me again.
I think they have a break coming up this week or next and I’m really looking forward to seeing him again.
I know part of the reason he wants to come to Briar Glen is because it’s his way of getting off the road for a while so he can simply breathe and take a break he won’t get otherwise.
Jagger knows what he plans on doing and has told him to come to me whenever he needs to as long as they don’t have a show that night.
Our manager has truly stepped up and given Memphis the freedom to leave when I didn’t think that would happen.
Especially when I know they have media appearances and all the other stuff that comes with being on tour.
I’m still waiting to hear back about my car.
Judge did call me yesterday and they finally found the problem.
My fuel pump was going bad and made it so the engine wasn’t getting the right amount of fuel to keep the car running.
They ordered the part and are waiting on it to come in so they can fix it and return the car to me.
Judge also asked if I had another vehicle because they would make sure I had a ride or a loaner car if I needed one.
I told him I had two other vehicles to use but thanked him for his kindness.
Judge really is a good guy. Tristan and Zach are too.
Especially Zach. He ran me to the store, walked through the aisles with me, and then loaded everything in the SUV before bringing us home and helping me bring everything inside.
He didn’t have to do any of it, but said he didn’t mind and liked helping others around him.
Today, after checking on Bridger to make sure he’s still sleeping, I jump in for a quick shower.
I’ve mastered the art of showering in the least amount of time possible now that I have Bridger with me full time.
I can be in and out in about ten minutes while I keep the baby monitor so I can watch the baby on the screen the entire time.
After drying off and dressing in a pair of workout shorts and one of Memphis’ tank tops from tour, I brush out my hair and throw it up in a messy bun.
I’m not doing anything but working around the house today and writing more songs.
I’ve been in contact with another artist who wants a few songs from me.
We’ve worked together in the past a few times and I know exactly what she wants so all I have to do is write them.
As I head to the kitchen for a glass of juice and something to snack on, there’s a knock on my door.
Switching directions, I head for the front door and look through the peephole because I’m scared Dillon will get to us somehow.
They did catch him and he’s currently sitting in jail waiting to go to trial, but it doesn’t mean much when he associates with such criminals.
I won’t be surprised if he sends someone else after me and then tries to play it off like he’s not involved. The guy is a fucking scumbag.
Memphis is standing on my porch as I scream and open the door.
Without hesitation, I jump in his arms and he catches me.
I bury my face in his neck as the tears start to fall.
I’m not even sure why I’m crying right now, but seeing him for one second has broken the flood gate open again and I don’t know how long it will take for me to stop this time.
“I’ve got you, Sweetheart,” he tells me, rubbing my back while moving us in the house.
There’s no need for words when I’m with Memphis.
He knows what I need and gives it to me without hesitation.
It’s what I always imagined a big brother would do if I had one.
“You should know I’m not alone. Couldn’t fuckin’ ditch him no matter how hard I tried. ”
Lifting my head, I look over Memphis’ shoulder to see the last person in the world I want in my home.
Camden. I let Memphis know I want down and he releases me once I’m steady on my feet in front of him.
Standing before Camden, I expect to feel my heart break again.
Or to start crying even harder as silent tears still fall.
Nothing happens though. My heart doesn’t even skip a beat as I look at the man who owned my heart for two years.
It’s like I don’t have a past with him and that the truth of our situation didn’t completely devastate me.
Looking at Camden doesn’t provoke any kind of response in me as I realize nothing about our situation matters any longer. He’s simply a guy I used to know.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask Camden while folding my arms over my chest and glaring at him.
“I wanted to see you, Keaton. You’ve been through hell and I know you’ve been here alone. Despite everythin’ that happened, I care about you. You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth,” Camden says as he takes a few steps close to where I stand.
“You never cared about me, Cam. If you did, you wouldn’t have spent two fucking years lying to me.
You would have told me the truth of the situation from the very beginning so I didn’t love you.
What makes everything worse is you knew how much I loved you and it never mattered to you for a single second,” I state, my voice full of ice as Memphis places his hand on my shoulder in comfort and steps up behind me.
“That’s not true, Keaton. Yes, everythin’ between the two of us started as a job for me.
I won’t stand in front of you and say it didn’t.
When I first started to spend time with you, I came in with a bias, thinkin’ you were a spoiled princess who only gave a shit about herself.
I didn’t see all the time you give your fans, the way you brighten up the lives of children by takin’ a few minutes with them, or how you give more of yourself to everyone around you than what you hold back.
The more time I spent with you, the harder it got to distinguish between you bein’ a job and the woman I was fallin’ in love with.
I do love you, Keaton. But, I also know you can’t stand liars and that whatever we had between us will never happen again.
It doesn’t mean I won’t do what I can to protect you.
They didn’t need me on tour right now, so I came with Memphis to try and clear the air between us and explain my side of the situation,” Camden tells me as my heart remains hard as stone against his words.
“You can stay here, but you’re in a guest room down in the basement.
I don’t want to see you if I don’t have to.
Memphis can bring you down anything to eat or drink.
This is my personal space and I won’t have you taint it with bullshit.
That means if you go out, don’t bring your fuck buddies back here to my home.
I don’t give a shit what you do, just stay away from me,” I tell him before turning to Memphis.
“You know where the guest rooms are down there. Make sure he’s away from the studio because I don’t know if I’ll be in there today.
I have a few songs to write for an artist.”
Memphis nods his head, gives me a kiss on the top of mine, and takes Camden down to the basement where I have two guest rooms and my recording studio.
I make my way into the kitchen where I pour a large glass of juice and make two sandwiches for Memphis and me.
I’m not sure if he’s hungry or not, but he’ll eat it because I made it for him.
Hopefully he doesn’t mind running to get groceries with me today.
I’m running out of everything and Bridger could use more baby food, cereal, diapers, and a few more things.
“I’m sorry about him,” Memphis says, walking back up to find me in the kitchen. “I really tried to get rid of him. Even called Jagger to call him off, but he thought it was a good idea for him to come given the current situation.”
“It’s okay. As long as he stays the hell away from me, I’ll be okay.
I’m over him. I was over him the second I realized he was lying to me.
You know that’s the one thing I can’t stand despite the fact that I do it on a regular basis since no one here knows I’m Ruby,” I tell him, sliding a plate with his sandwich across the island.
“It’s not the same thing, Keaton. Your Ruby persona is to protect your identity when you’re not on tour or doin’ somethin’ else business related.
It gives you the freedom to come home and be yourself without bein’ bombarded by fans.
That’s not a lie, it’s safety. Not just for you either.
Your parents won’t be harassed by people who know Ruby when they’re trying to work or live their lives.
They aren’t the famous ones in the family, you are,” Memphis tells me as I look at him with a small smile.
“I really missed you,” I say before taking a bite of my chicken sandwich so I don’t have to say anything else.
While we’re eating, my phone rings and I see someone from Whittaker's is calling me. I quickly swallow my food and answer the phone.
“Is this Keaton?” a male voice asks me and I immediately know it’s not Judge.
“Yes, it is,” I respond as Memphis finishes his sandwich and grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
“This is Tristan from Whittaker’s. Your car is ready to be picked up.
We replaced the fuel pump, drove it to the gas station and filled the tank back up, then went for a short ride around town to ensure it wouldn’t die on you again.
We also made sure there wasn’t anythin’ else wrong with the car.
You can pick it up whenever you’re ready.
Do you need a ride here?” he asks me as I smile at the thoughtfulness from this guy I’ve barely met as Keaton.
“Thank you so much. I have someone here who can bring me over to pick it up. Does anytime today work? The baby is sleeping right now and I’d rather not wake him up,” I return as Memphis stands up straighter to hear what’s going on.
“Anytime today is perfect. If you need one of us to stay here late, just let us know and we’ll be here for you,” he says before hanging up the phone and I let out a small laugh despite the pain shooting through my heart from having any kind of fun response to something.
“What’s goin’ on?” Memphis asks me as he moves around the island to stand closer to me.
“My car is ready to be picked up. When Bridger wakes up from his nap, can we go grab it and then head to get groceries? I don’t really have anything to eat here now that you’re back for a visit,” I ask my best friend as he smiles down at me.
“Of course we can. Are you gonna change your clothes before we head out?” he questions me, pulling the shoulder of the tank top while smirking at me.
“Nope,” I tell him, popping the ‘p’ as I move to finish eating my sandwich.
I eat and move to the living room with Memphis where he starts to help me work on the songs I need to write.
He plays the one I’ve already started on his guitar while I play the keyboard I bought years ago for this very reason.
I don’t have any lyrics yet, but Memphis helps me work out the bridge and chorus section so I can start thinking of the lyrics for this ballad.
Memphis answers some emails and watches videos on his phone while I start the tedious process of writing songs.
It’s not always easy. Especially right now when I’m still so deep in my grief.
Life goes on though, and I have to honor Nora by living it.
It doesn’t mean I have to have fun or anything else, but I do have to get up each day and put one foot in front of the other one.
I have to raise Bridger the way I know she’d want me to and continue working every day.