Chapter Fourteen
Keaton
M EMPHIS AND I have been working on the songs I need to write for the last two days and we’ve made a lot of progress.
When I get too lost in my head and want to go down a dark path, he pulls me back on track.
If he weren’t here with me, I’m not sure what I’d do.
So, I’ve been writing my own songs when I’m not working on the ones I’m selling.
These songs are darker than anything I’ve ever written or performed before.
Memphis loves the ones he’s heard so far and thinks I should record them to send to Jagger for my next album.
I’m not sure how he’ll feel about this music, but the worst he’ll tell me is no.
Or he’ll limit the ones I can include on the album.
It’s a never-ending battle with him sometimes.
Jagger gives all of his talent a lot more creative freedom than other managers, but there are still things we have to listen to him about. Our albums are one of those things.
Camden is still at my house. He listened to me and stayed in the basement alone.
I haven’t seen him in my personal living space so far.
Memphis takes down all of his meals and has made sure he’s got more than enough to drink in the mini fridge he bought and put in the guest room Camden is staying in for his stay here.
The only time I see him is when we leave.
Camden won’t allow Memphis and I to leave my property without him escorting us in case something happens.
He was informed about the situation with Dillon and knows he’s currently sitting behind bars.
Apparently he thinks like I do and doesn’t think I’ve heard the last of Dillon since I have custody of Bridger.
That will piss him off more than anything else because it’s his son even though he’s never done anything to raise him or help Nora take care of him financially.
Nora did everything for Bridger on her own and now I’m doing the same because he doesn’t deserve to be in this little boy’s life.
Today, I can’t seem to get out of my head for anything. I keep messing up chords and hitting wrong notes on the piano as I try to play the music while singing the lyrics Memphis and I have come up with.
“What’s goin’ on with you today, Keaton? You’re all over the place and I haven’t seen you like this in a really long time,” Memphis questions me as he sets his guitar down in the stand and turns his entire focus on me.
“I didn’t tell you this yet, but I have a date tonight. I’m thinking about canceling it,” I tell him honestly because I’m so nervous. I don’t think it will take much for Ice to connect the dots that I’m not simply Keaton, but I’m Ruby as well.
“That’s not happenin’, Keaton. You’re goin’ on this date. It’s Ice, isn’t it?” he asks, a smirk on his face as I feel my face start to heat up from a blush.
“It hasn’t been that long since Camden lied to me, Memphis.
A couple of weeks and now he’s here in my fucking basement like some kind of asshole.
I don’t need him around me and I know he’ll try to follow me when I leave here.
It’s weird and Ice hasn’t put two and two together yet.
He doesn’t know I’m Ruby and I’m not ready for him to find out yet.
I just spent time with him as part of my security detail and that was enough.
Then I see him as Keaton and the same feelings are there.
It’s confusing because I thought he liked me as Ruby.
When I’m here, I’m not her. What if he just sees me as second best or something like that?
” I ask Memphis as all of my vulnerabilities come to the forefront of my mind and I worry like never before.
“There was some kind of instant attraction between Ice and you, Keaton. Whether you're Ruby or Keaton, he’s gonna fall head over heels in love with you. I can see he already likes you or he wouldn’t have asked you on a date.
Maybe he sees Ruby as one of those celebrity crushes or somethin’ like that.
Just know he asked you out, not her. How did you give him your number as Keaton if Ruby gave him her phone number?
I know you don’t have two phones,” Memphis questions me as I start laughing.
“I got one of those apps for a secondary phone number. Those who aren’t on my team or people like you get that number and everyone else who personally knows me gets my Keaton number.
So, Ice has both numbers and until I’m ready, he won’t get to know I’m the same person.
Memphis, I don’t think I’m ready for this.
I’m already so nervous and feel like I’m about to be sick.
I should tell him something came up and we need to reschedule the date,” I state as Memphis stands up and walks over to join me on the bench of the piano I’m playing.
“You’re not cancelin’ this shit, Keaton and it’s the last time I’m sayin’ it.
You give every piece of yourself to everyone in your life and never do anythin’ for yourself.
That’s not just you as Keaton, it’s you as Ruby too.
It’s time for you to do this. You want to go out with Ice and anyone who sees the two of you together can see how into one another you are.
So, you’re gonna go upstairs, shower, and get ready for the best date of your life.
Make sure you take one of those everythin’ showers or whatever the hell you girls call them.
I know you haven’t been on any because of your career so this will be a first for you.
Enjoy the hell out of tonight and if you’re feelin’ it, get laid.
I’ll deal with Camden. He won’t be a third wheel on your date if I have to tie his ass up and keep the door locked,” Memphis demands as he stands once again and pulls me out of my seat.
Together we walk upstairs and he doesn’t leave my side until I’m in my bedroom while he goes in the nursery as Bridger starts to stir from his nap.
Alone in my room, I sit on my bed for a few minutes and just breathe to get myself under control.
It’s not even time for the date and I’m already so damn nervous.
I don’t even know what time Ice will be here.
We’ve messaged a few times over the last two days, but it was mainly about our day and he asked how my car was running.
Ice has a way of wanting to make me laugh when it’s the last thing I should be doing.
My phone vibrates in my hand and it startles me. I always turn the sound off when I’m working because I don’t want to be disturbed if I’m really into writing a song. It throws off the entire flow and I have a hard time getting back into things once I’ve been interrupted. It’s a message from Ice.
Ice: Pick you up at 6? Is that too late?
Me: Six is good. Someone is staying with Bridger so I don’t have to worry about what time I leave.
Ice: Perfect. I’ll see you in a few hours, Keaton.
I can’t stop the smile from my face as I get off the bed and make my way into the bathroom. I’m not sure how to dress because I’ve never been on a date before. So, I send another message to Ice.
Me: What are we doing tonight? I’m not sure how to dress so a heads up would be helpful.
Ice: Dress casual. Wear jeans if you want. It doesn’t matter to me.
With a smile on my face, I set my phone on the bathroom counter after starting my playlist and turn the shower on so it can heat up before I step inside.
I don’t need to get sprayed with freezing cold water when my heart is already racing uncontrollably.
After stripping down to nothing, I step in my shower and stand under the water as it rains down on me.
Closing my eyes, I simply stand under the water for a few minutes and let it loosen up my tight as hell muscles.
I didn’t realize how tight my body was because I’m so nervous.
Memphis is now the only person who knows what a huge deal this is for me.
It’s not just my first date, it’s the first time I’m putting myself out there in front of another person.
I do as Memphis suggested and take an everything shower, spending time washing my hair twice before putting conditioner in and letting it sit while I wash my body and shave everything.
It takes a lot longer than I’ve been able to spend in the shower and I feel kind of spoiled because I don’t have to rush out to get Bridger when he wakes up.
This isn’t something I thought I’d miss, but it really is.
The simplicity of being able to shower without worry or interruptions.
Once I’m rinsed off, I wrap my hair in a towel and then dry off my body completely before grabbing my lotion and rubbing it on my skin.
Everything I use is vanilla because I’ve always loved the smell of it.
It doesn’t matter if I’m Keaton or Ruby, vanilla is my scent.
I wonder if it’s something Ice has picked up on yet.
Once I’ve got my lotion on, I put on one of my robes and brush my teeth before leaving the bathroom and heading into my bedroom.
I don’t stop until I’m in the walk-in closet I have where I come to a dead stop.
I know Ice said to dress casual and I could wear jeans, but I don’t know if that’s really appropriate for a date.
Especially not a first date. This is why I don’t do this shit.
It’s too hard and I don’t know what to wear, say, or do.
It’s going to end in a disaster and end whatever this is between Ice and I before it has a chance to begin.