Chapter 8
Amy couldn’t remember the last time her entire family had been together. Isadora was there, along with her two children. Her husband hadn’t made an appearance, but Amy didn’t really consider him a part of the family anymore. Not after what he’d done to Isadora. She knew that if he was going to be a part of the children’s lives, she might run into him from time to time, and she was going to have to be kind, but it was going to be hard.
Roland was there, standing in the corner with his hands in his pockets. He was probably the one least inclined to have anything to do with it.
For Amy, it brought back thoughts of their dad.
Her mom was beside Sally, holding her hand, Robert on her lap. For once, Robert was still.
Marissa stood beside Amy, holding her hand. Judd and Terry had come in, holding hands, which raised Amy’s eyebrows, but she didn’t say a word. This wasn’t the time or place. She just met Terry’s eyes and smiled, giving her an encouraging look.
Terry returned her smile and seemed to have an inquiry of her own on her face. Amy assumed that meant that the idea that she and Jones might be thinking about getting married had made the rounds in the family.
Still, they wouldn’t be talking about it here.
Wilson had come, and he stood behind her mom, with Lucas, the oldest of Gilbert’s children, standing between Judd and Jones. Lucas called Jones uncle, and Jones had been in their family long enough that he probably felt like a part of it to the young kid.
Everyone was sober, even the children. Gilbert had taken them out and said something to them, and Marissa had come in crying.
Lucas had been stoic, blinking tears away, and Robert just looked a little confused. But sad too.
Like he didn’t really understand why his mother had to die.
Maybe that’s not what Gilbert told them. She couldn’t imagine he could have had anything else to say, since that’s what was going to happen.
There was a soft knock on the door, and Amy turned to see Pastor Connelly standing in the doorway.
“Is it okay to come in?” he asked softly.
Gilbert stood up, and the siblings made way for him to move through.
“I’m glad you came, pastor. I appreciate it.”
“I’m glad you called me. This is definitely a time to be close to the Lord.”
“Sure,” Gilbert said, walking back to the bed.
“So the nurse said it was probably going to be tonight?” Pastor Connelly said.
“Yes. Two hours ago, that’s what she said. So far, there’s been absolutely no change. She hasn’t moved at all, except for her breath is maybe getting a little bit rougher. She hasn’t woken up.”
“Do you mind if I pray?”
“I think we’d all appreciate it if you did,” Gilbert said, and Amy wondered what in the world else the pastor would have thought they wanted.
Maybe he was good with bagpipes.
She had to work on not laughing.
Jones’s hand came down on her shoulder, like he understood exactly what was going on.
She looked up, a plea for help in her eyes .
He gave her the sternest look he could muster, and she tried to draw from his sobriety.
This was not the time or place for her to be laughing at jokes in her head. She certainly didn’t think her sister-in-law’s passing was a laughing matter, but she figured the laughter was probably just to ease the stress. She would always much rather laugh than cry. And she also thought if Sally was awake, she would be the first one to say that she would rather have her laughing than crying.
“Lord God, I ask for Your presence to be near us, as our sister in Christ slips into Your arms this evening. I pray Your blessing and peace will be upon us, Your strength give us calmness in our hearts, and in our lives as well, as we realize that she’ll be walking the streets of heaven soon and will no longer be in pain, no more cancer, no more scary doctor visits and harsh realities. Everything will be peace and joy and love, as You promise in Your book.”
Amy bit back tears. How could she go from laughing to wanting to cry so quickly?
The pastor continued. “Help us to be happy for her, while still grieving the fact that she no longer walks the earth with us. It’s right and natural for us to miss her. Your word says that Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died. It’s normal for us to cry. It’s normal for us to grieve. You gave us these emotions, and they’re not wrong. But, Lord, please help us to move past those emotions, through Your grace and comfort, and rejoin the world of the living, even though the hole that the passing of Sally leaves will forever be in our hearts.”
He paused for a moment, and Sally’s labored breathing filled the room.
“Help us to grow closer as a family and grow closer to You as Christians. This is not the first time that has happened to this family, Lord God, and I pray that You bless them, keep them, help them to lean on each other for strength and encouragement in the days ahead. I ask that You give them peace and security and keep them wrapped in Your loving arms. Amen.”
No one said anything as the pastor spoke his prayer. Amy fought back tears. Tears of sadness, tears of pain for the children losing their mom. It wasn’t much comfort to a child that he should know that their mom was in heaven and happy when they were still on earth and motherless. But God had a plan, and she had to cling tightly to that, because she didn’t understand. She never would, but maybe that was because she wasn’t God.
Everyone settled in, and no one said much. Even the kids were quiet as they listened to Sally’s labored breath.
Then, just before eleven, the sound of her breath changed, it became harsher, not like she was struggling, just a different rhythm, a different sound, which perked Amy up from where she had been standing at the foot of the bed. She was tired and swaying a bit on her feet, but Jones had put his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him.
He had been there when her father died, and they grieved together, but that had been years ago, and this was different.
“I think she’s leaving us,” Gilbert said quietly.
Marissa started crying, Robert was asleep, and no one woke him up, while Lucas stood stoic, his jaw jutted out, his eyes on his mother.
Amy could only imagine what he was thinking, and her heart went out to the little boy who was trying to be a man but was having his mother ripped away from him, and surely his heart was breaking.
Marissa sobbed again, and Amy put her arms around her, drawing her close but allowing her to choose whether she wanted to continue to look at her mom or bury her head in Amy’s chest. She chose to continue looking. But her shoulders shook as she did so.
Gilbert looked over at Lucas, and there was a slight change in his face. He lifted his brow, asked a question .
Lucas ran the two steps to his dad and buried his head in his father’s neck as Gilbert’s arms went around him, and Sally took one last breath and blew it out slowly.
There was no sound in the room, until the monitor gave a long low beep that seemed to go on and on and on.
Maybe they turned it off at the nurse’s station, or maybe it turned itself off. Whichever, the room was silent.
Amy swallowed hard. She had been a lot older when her dad died, and it had been hard, but she hadn’t been the one who had been left motherless. Which would have been worse. Her dad hadn’t been there much at all, and her mom had borne the brunt of raising the children.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love her dad, because she did, it was just...different. Plus, he had been gone when they had made it to the emergency room, and seeing his lifeless body on the bed, mostly covered with a sheet, had almost seemed surreal.
This brought flashbacks back, and she pressed closer to Jones, putting her arm around him and laying her head against his shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he said so softly she was sure no one else could hear.
She nodded against him.
His hand came up, and it stroked her hair as Marissa turned and buried her face against Amy.
Amy put her arm around Marissa and held her close, stroking her hair, much the same way Jones was comforting her.
Gilbert broke the silence but not with speaking. He began singing “What a Day That Will Be.”
Amy had been doing pretty good at not crying, but hearing her brother sing as his wife passed into heaven filled her eyes, and she had to swallow.
Roland and Jones joined him, and soon the whole family was singing .
It was a beautiful heaven song, and she figured that the pastor was right. Maybe there would be tears, but God had a plan. And God had given them a family to lean on during this time. She couldn’t think of anything better.