Chapter 24
Jones stood by himself at the side of the church, watching as people milled about at the meal that had been provided for the family after the funeral.
The funeral had been sad, no doubt, and hard for Gilbert and the children. It had been hard for Amy’s mom to watch too, Jones would’ve said. He couldn’t imagine watching his child suffer like that.
But, Marjorie had been strong throughout all of it, and the pillar that her children could lean on.
The kids had gathered around him and Amy at times, and they also found comfort in Judd and Terry.
Isadora seemed to be dealing with her own issues, and had left halfway through when one of her children had not been able to sit still.
She had them in a high chair now, and was feeding one while an older lady from the church talked to her, although if Jones had to guess, Isadora wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying at all.
His parents hadn’t shown up, not that he expected them to.
But, it had been hard for him to focus on what was going on around him. All he wanted to think about was how to get those confounded pillows out from between Amy and him at night.
“Hey there,” Judd said, clamping a hand on his shoulder as he walked up to Jones. You found yourself a quiet corner, huh? ”
“I guess. Sometimes it’s nice to just stand back and take it in.” And Amy had been grabbed by one of the ladies in the church who wanted her to do something for the Christmas Eve service.
He’d be spending Christmas Eve with Amy. Not like they had never spent Christmas Eve together before, but...it was different this year and he knew it.
“How’s married life treating you?” Judd said, smiling some, as though he knew it was really good.
“Looks like you’re enjoying it,” Jones said, not wanting to say that he didn’t seem to know how to move past friendship with his wife, and part of him was scared to.
“I am. I guess it wouldn’t be nearly so enjoyable with the wrong woman, but I’ve got a wonderful one, and I certainly think the next fifty years are going to be pretty stinking good.”
He only wished he felt that way. The next fifty years stretched out intolerably before him, a pillow always between Amy and he, or the other scenario, where he moved too fast and ruined what they had, and they ended up awkward and disliking each other.
“Yeah,” he finally said, knowing he paused way too long.
“So... I guess I should admit that Terry wanted me to come over and say something to you.”
Jones huffed out a laugh. That was just like Terry. She’s been gone for a while, but he remembered her as a typical oldest child, always trying to control everything, and making sure her siblings were taken care of.
“Wonder why?” he said, just to give Judd an opening, since Judd wasn’t exactly known for his great conversational skills. It was a testament to how much he loved his wife that he was even standing there to begin with.
“She’s worried that you and Amy are having trouble figuring out how to be more than friends. ”
It was tempting for Jones to deny that, and he probably would have, or changed the subject or skirted around it, if it hadn’t been Judd and Terry, Amy’s beloved older sister.
“I love Amy, but I’m having some issues. I don’t know that there’s anything to be worried about, but... I just don’t want to ruin what we have, you know? By forcing more than what she wants.”
“You’re not sure what she wants?”
“Yeah. Although we agreed that our marriage would be real, that we’d have children, I guess I just don’t know what she wants right now.”
“What do you want?”
“I want to get rid of the pillows.”
Judd looked confused.
“She put pillows down the middle of the bed to make us both comfortable, that’s what she said. I would be more comfortable without them.”
“You don’t like pillows?”
“No. It’s what the pillows represent. It’s a whole thing in my head now, that’s between Amy and me. And, she’s the one who wanted the pillows. So it makes me feel like she’s not ready for more.”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
“Because that will make everything awkward. And Amy and I have such a great relationship, I don’t want awkwardness.”
“You and Amy have such a great relationship, do you think the awkwardness will last for the next fifty years? Like it might be awkward for a little bit if you want more than what she does, or, as Terry and I suspect, you both want the same thing, but both of you are scared to death of what you just said — ruining what you have. And, you’re not getting into the idea that what you have could be made even better by moving forward.”
“Better?” Jones asked, lifting his brows. He couldn’t imagine what he and Amy had being any better, although maybe intimacy would make it better. Or add another level to it .
“Is she selfish? Is she hard to get along with? Has she ever gotten upset with something you said, or over something stupid without taking into consideration your point of view?”
“No, no, no.” He had needed someone to ask him those questions. “I guess I couldn’t articulate that myself, but the picture just came into focus as you said that.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s silly for me to be sitting around wondering, when yeah, it’s going to be awkward if we’re not on the same page, but it’s not going to last. And we're not going to get upset with each other. We agreed to this marriage, and both of us knew what it would mean going into it.”
“Exactly.” Judd grinned. “That was easier than I thought it was going to be.” He paused and then he said, “We’ve been friends for so long, I was afraid that my question was going to make things awkward between us.” It took a second before Jones realized that the usually taciturn Judd was teasing him.
“Shut up,” he said, pushing him on the shoulder.
“Just go tell Amy you want to kiss her. Or, whatever else it is you want to do.” Judd rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving Jones grinning stupidly behind him. Was it going to be that easy? Just tell her what he wanted?
He hadn’t figured out how to say it before the funeral meal was over, and maybe that was a good thing, since a funeral wasn’t the best place to bring up that conversation anyway.
When they got home, the tree didn’t do much to cheer them up, since it was still not decorated.
“It was a nice idea,” Amy said as she glanced at the tree, before turning to him. “Is it okay if I get a shower?”
“Sure.” He nodded, wanting to ask, but finding his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. It was Amy; he could ask her anything. Except...apparently, whether or not she would be okay if he kissed her.
Plus, shouldn’t a kiss have a romantic setting? Especially if it was going to be their first kiss.
He wasn’t sure whether he was overthinking it, or not thinking about it enough, and he still hadn’t figured that out by the time he was done with his shower.
But instead of coming out of the bathroom fully dressed, he came out with just a towel around his waist. Seeing Amy do a double take was more than worth the few moments of anxiety that doing that had induced in him.
She raised her brows, and then looked up at him, as though looking for answers to questions that she hadn’t asked on his face.
He stood still a few feet away from the bed, and even though he knew that he was making way more out of this than he needed to, he swallowed hard, and then asked one of the hardest questions he’d ever had asking his life before. “I was hoping we could get rid of the pillows.”
Stupid. He hadn’t even kissed her. And he wanted to get rid of the pillows. She was going to say –
A pillow landed at his feet. On the heels of that one came another one.
“I didn’t think you were ever going to ask.”
Her eyes twinkled, and he realized that Judd was most likely right. They both had been thinking the same thing.
“I didn’t want to make a move because I had determined in my heart that I would just follow your lead, and we would move forward when you were ready.”
“And I had decided that you didn’t really like me because you hadn’t made any moves, and I wasn’t going to make any move until you made a move because I didn’t want you to have to be with someone you didn’t really like that way.”
“Oh, Amy,” he said, walking to the bed and kneeling down beside it, running a hand over her hair and cupping her cheek .
Her hand came up and ran across his temple then down his shoulder.
“Don’t think I wasn’t nervous. I am still nervous.”
“Don’t be. It’s just me.”
I know, but it feels...different.”
“It doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to do anything. Just...no pillows.”
“I think I want to do more than no pillows. But, maybe we could start with kissing?” She looked around, and the hopeful look on her face made the corners of his mouth turn up.
“That’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about since our wedding night. How I can get you to kiss me.”
“Tell me you want me to?” she said.
“But I didn’t want you to if you didn’t want to. It’s like the tree, you know?”
Her hand wrapped around his neck, and she tugged gently.
“And, I thought that maybe I should have some kind of romantic setting. We should be gazing dreamily into each other’s eyes under a starry sky or full moon or something like that.”
His mouth got closer to hers, and their noses bumped together.
“Are you going to talk about it? Or are you going to actually focus on doing it?”
“You don’t want some kind of romantic thing?”
“Is this not romantic?” she asked, sounding like she truly thought it was.
“To me, it’s perfect.”
“It’s not perfect until your lips are on mine,” she said, and she leaned forward just a bit, touching the corner of his mouth with hers.
“You missed,” he said.
She giggled, and with that, it didn’t feel awkward anymore, and he didn’t know about her, but his nervousness fled away as well. It was Amy, and they would do what they always did. Laugh and have fun, even if it was kissing. Because, he couldn’t imagine anything being better than kissing his best friend.
Then, as though to prove that she wasn’t going to miss, her lips landed on his, and he knew, at that point for sure, that there truly wasn’t anything better than kissing his best friend.