Chapter 18
Jeremiah
Holding a pie in my hands while standing outside of my parents’ home gave me déjà vu.
I half expected Sadie to round the back of my car with Charlie’s hand in hers at any moment.
But it didn’t happen. Instead, Charlie skipped up the driveway to me by herself, dark locks bouncing around her shoulders.
“Do you think Grammy made deviled eggs?”
I chuckled. “I think she knows better than to forget your favorite dish.”
We always celebrated Thanksgiving early because my parents took their annual cruise during the actual week.
When I was playing hockey, it’d worked out as I had a Thanksgiving game more often than not.
Now it meant not having to make it to two family gatherings in one day, which was a blessing as a single father of a young child.
Charlie could enjoy spending time with her cousins on Sadie’s side of the family without me having to drag her away to my parents’, and she didn’t get so utterly exhausted that she turned into a grouch. It was a solid tradition all around.
My mom opened the door before we’d even stepped foot on the porch, most likely having been watching for us while Dad prepared dinner.
“There’s my little turkey.” Mom hugged Charlie close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. At this point, there really wasn’t much more than a foot of difference in height between them. She held the door open wider for us both to step in. “What did you bring?”
I held the pie out for her to see, and her cheery smile slipped, her eyes darting up to mine.
“Did you ma—”
I shook my head before she could finish. “Got it from a bakery.”
It wasn’t a complete lie. Zoe did in fact make it at work in the bakery.
“It looks just like hers did,” Mom said, staring at the pie once more as if it were a mirage that would disappear if she blinked.
The apple pie had a lattice crust with a bundle of leaves in the center.
After our conversation, Zoe had been more than happy to create it for us.
She’d apparently gone through two prior attempts at the crust before she deemed it good enough.
Personally, I thought it was stunning. Sadie would have been proud.
“Zoe made it!” Charlie chimed in, already shedding her coat. She almost dropped it right where she stood, but I caught her eye, and she hurried to hang it up on the nearby coatrack.
Mom’s eyebrows crinkled as she looked between the two of us. “Zoe?”
“Yeah! She’s my new hockey coach, remember? Her and Daddy went on a date when I came to spend the night with you,” Charlie answered as if it were obvious.
She continued to ramble on about Zoe as she made her way to the dining room, leaving us no choice but to follow her. Something about Zoe and pickles. I wasn’t exactly paying attention, too busy avoiding my mom’s questioning look as she walked beside me.
I hadn’t told them why I needed Charlie to have a sleepover that night.
Not that I was required to as their son.
I was a thirty-one-year-old father who could make his own decisions without the opinion of his parents.
Add on that it was only a first date, which could have gone terribly for all I knew—thank God, it didn’t.
Based on her lingering stare, though, I would be hearing her opinion soon enough, whether I wanted it or not.
Dad entered the dining room at the same time as us, a platter of freshly carved turkey in his hands.
Despite it only being the four of us, my parents still prepared an exorbitant amount of food.
Charlie and I were always grateful for the leftovers sent home with us, but we could only eat the same meal so many times a week.
“Is that pie?”
Dad had zeroed in on the dessert I still held in my hands, eyeing it my entire trip around the dining table to the kitchen.
“Apple?” he asked hopefully.
“Wouldn’t bring anything else.”
I placed the pie in the kitchen for now alongside the no-bake cookies my mom had made. My lack of baking skills most likely came from her.
Mom left the topic of Zoe alone until after dinner when she cornered me in the kitchen. Coincidentally, just as I was getting a slice of the pie that had started this whole thing. I calmly cut a decent slice and transferred it to a dessert plate before turning to face her.
“So this Zoe…” she started.
I let out a small sigh and took a bite. “Yes?”
Her mouth opened and closed a couple times before she waved her hand around, as if that would help her put together the perfect sentence.
“I understand you wanting to date again, but… involving Charlie in it?”
My brows pulled together tight. “Involving Charlie?”
“Yes! You have to take her into consideration as well, not just your own wants and needs. If things go sideways, she’ll be heartbroken. You can’t just parade women in and out of her life.”
I shook my head, eyes closed as I tried to wrap my mind around the words that had just come out of her mouth.
Now I was the one at a loss for what to say; the ability to string together a sentence or even a coherent thought suddenly lost on me.
Did she even know me at all? Take her into consideration. Parading women.
“Mom, I’m not parading women in and out—God, it’s—” I set down my plate with a huff, the clattering of porcelain on the counter deafening in the confines of the small kitchen.
“I am thinking about Charlie. All I ever do is think about Charlie and what’s best for her.
And I wholeheartedly believe that’s Zoe. ”
“How can you be so sure? You’ve known her for—”
“Charlie adores her,” I interrupted. “The second Zoe introduced herself at the first practice, Charlie wouldn’t shut up about her.
Zoe’s a terrific role model for her. She’s a strong leader, a talented hockey player, and she is so kind and giving.
Everything I would want Charlie to be. And Zoe loves Charlie. ”
How did I put their bond into words? Let alone in a way that my mother would understand.
“The way they are together…” I shook my head. “When I see them together, it makes me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Seeing someone love Charlie like that? Someone who has no biological ties to her? It’s all I could ever ask for.”
I took a steadying breath.
“She makes me happy. Plain and simple. She makes me laugh and feel things I didn’t think I could feel anymore.”
The kitchen grew silent as my mother squirmed beneath my unwavering gaze.
Everything I’d said had been the truth. The only thing I may have left out was that I was falling in love with Zoe, too.
Between the hours spent planning for the women’s rec league together, seeing her at Puffins practices and games, and a handful of dates, the snowballing feelings I’d tried so hard to fight before had turned into a full-on avalanche. And I was done fighting against it.
“I’m sorry,” Mom finally spoke up. “I know I can trust you, but…”
Tears built in her eyes and I didn’t hesitate to step forward and wrap her in my arms. She gave into my touch and settled her head against my chest as she held me in return.
“I don’t want to ever see you two go through heartbreak like that again. I couldn’t stand it.”
Sadie’s death had affected everyone she loved. For my parents, she had been a daughter to them long before we said our vows. Not only had they grieved for her, but they’d grieved for me as well.
“I know, Mama,” I murmured softly.
We just held each other for a while before she finally stepped back, sniffling quietly as she quickly dabbed under her eyes.
“Do I get to meet her soon, then?”
A laugh rumbled deep in my chest, and I rested back against the counter, eyeing her playfully as I crossed my arms. “If you promise to play nice.”
Her jaw dropped, and she lightly swatted my arm, making me laugh more.
“Jeremiah Langfield,” she scolded, but it was half-hearted at best. “Of course. If she’s going to be a part of my son and granddaughter’s life, I want her to feel welcomed.”
“Good, because I want her to be. More than anything,” I admitted.
She smiled affectionately up at me before nudging my hip. “All right, now move over so I can get a piece of this pie before your dad eats it all. You said she works at a bakery?”
Despite talking things out with my mom, I still tossed and turned all night stressing—unnecessarily, I told myself—over Charlie’s feelings on the matter.
My mom had planted the seed of doubt, and I knew I wouldn’t be confident until I had a chat with my daughter.
She may only be seven, but she was capable of determining how she felt about something and voicing those feelings. Of that, I was very sure.
“Tot?”
“Hmm?” Charlie mumbled around the giant spoonful of cereal she’d just shoved into her mouth.
“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked, leaning on the island across from her.
She nodded, too busy attempting to chew her food to answer verbally.
“You know that Zoe and I went on a date, but do you know what that means?”
Her focused expression as she tried to chew faster would have made me laugh if I hadn’t been so sleep-deprived and anxious about this conversation.
“Yeah. You got dressed up and went to dinner at a restaurant like when you and I have our Daddy-Daughter dates,” she answered matter-of-factly.
I smiled. “Yes, we did. But our dates are a little different from the ones me and you have.”
Her head tilted to the side and her eyebrows crinkled.
“When adults go on dates, it’s to see if they like being around each other,” I explained.
“And do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you and Coach Zo like being around each other?”
I couldn’t stop my laugh this time. “Yes. I very much enjoy being around her.”
“And she likes being around you, right?”
Now that I wasn’t so sure of.
“I believe so.”
“Okay.”
She returned her attention to her breakfast, assuming that was the end of the conversation. Unfortunately, that was the easy part.
“So when adults decide that they do like being around each other, they choose to be in a relationship with each other. Which means spending more time together.”
Her spoon paused mid-air as a hopeful smile crept onto her lips. “Does that mean she’s going to be around more?”
I pressed my lips together to tamper my own grin, all my fears and the doubts that had been rolling around in my head last night disappearing like the fog chased away by the sun.
“Yes. We’d get to see her outside of practice and games. She can come over to our house to hang out or we may go out to do something. All three of us.”
Now she was glowing, her grin almost too big for her little face. She leapt out of her chair and came racing around the island to tackle me in a hug. I barely managed to keep both of us upright. God, she was getting big.
She gave me a tight squeeze before letting out a sigh, her body sinking further into mine.
“I’m so happy you and Coach Zo like each other,” she murmured dreamily.
I ruffled her messy bed hair. “Me, too, Tot.”