Chapter 23
Jeremiah
I’d spent the last four years tucking Charlie into bed by myself, minus the nights Wes visited, but tonight, Zoe had decided to join me.
Charlie was still keyed up from the game, especially since the Vortex had won, so Zoe had offered to read her a story.
They were curled up together against the headboard, Charlie’s head on Zoe’s shoulder as they read about a boy with a dragon in his desk.
“If you had a desk dragon, what would it hoard?” Zoe asked, her voice soft and low.
Charlie pursed her lips as she thought. “Blue crayons.”
“That’s very specific.”
I grabbed her toes through the blanket and wiggled them. “That probably means your desk needs to be cleaned, if you’re losing things.”
Charlie jerked her feet away from me with a giggle, burrowing further into Zoe’s side. Zoe wrapped an arm around her protectively.
“Clearly she does have a dragon. One with an affinity for blue crayons,” she challenged me, but her amused grin gave her away.
Relenting, I leaned back against the wall and simply observed as they finished their story. Charlie came out of hiding to see the last few pages, hanging onto Zoe’s every word. My heart was likely to burst right out of my chest.
Seeing them walking out of the tunnel hand-in-hand with their matching jerseys had nearly done me in, but the intimacy of this moment was the nail in the coffin. I had fallen for Zoe. Hard.
Charlie asked for another story, but I could already see her eyelids drooping. She’d fall asleep halfway through and then Zoe would be stuck.
“Not tonight, Tot. It’s already way past your bedtime.”
Her bottom lip pouted out just a hint as she shimmied down into her blankets, but she was too exhausted to truly put up a fight. I placed a kiss to her forehead, smiling knowingly whenever her eyes took an extra beat to open when I pulled away.
“Goodnight, Tot,” I whispered.
“Night, Daddy.”
Zoe adjusted the blankets around her. “Goodnight, Charlie girl.”
The corner of Charlie’s lips twitched in a hint of a smile, eyes mere slits as sleep pulled her under.
“Goodnight, Zo,” she sighed.
I followed Zoe into the hall and barely got the door shut behind me before I wrapped my arms around her, one hand sprawled across her lower back while the other cupped her neck.
I kissed her tenderly, smiling whenever her body relaxed into mine.
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but it wasn’t the right time. Not after the night she had.
So instead, when I pulled back and met her hazel eyes, I asked, “How are you feeling?”
She’d put on a brave face all night for Charlie, but I had seen right through it.
If Charlie hadn’t been with us, I would have followed Zoe when she said she was getting air.
The tears had already built up in her eyes before she’d disappeared into the crowd, and I would have given anything to support her in that moment, but I didn’t want to scare Charlie.
Zoe’s gaze flicked over my shoulder and her fingers fiddled with the strings of my hoodie.
I moved my hands to her hips and gently guided her down the hallway to the living room.
When we sat on the couch, she curled into my side much like Charlie had done to her.
I ran my fingers through the ends of her hair, letting her organize her thoughts.
“Tonight was a lot. Seeing Carter after all these years, sitting on the bench in a jersey.” Her thumb traced back and forth over my ribs. “But I also think it was necessary. I needed to finally face that part of my past.”
And she’d faced it straight on, throwing herself into the deep end, and all because of Charlie. Because it would make her happy. The same thing I’d been doing for the last four years.
“I’m proud of you,” I murmured, lips brushing against her temple. “I know it was hard, but you did it.”
Her hold on me tightened before she tilted her head back to look at me.
“Because of you and Charlie. I couldn’t have done it without the both of you. I wouldn’t have even made it into the parking lot.”
I could tell her that she would have been able to do it eventually, but that would be dismissing her feelings, and I never wanted to do that.
“I’m glad we could be there for you.”
I’ll always be there for you.
Because I’m in love with you.
The words were right there, pushing against the back of my teeth, ready to spill out. Screw the fact that it had only been a little over a month since our first date.
“I better head home. It’s late and I’m wiped,” Zoe sighed, adjusting to get up from the couch.
I could still say it, but the moment was gone. Instead, I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, curling my fingers around it.
“You sure you’re okay to drive home? You could always stay in the guest bedroom.”
She smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine. Besides, I’ve gotta get up early to meet with Carter. I’ll text you when I get home.”
While I appreciated it, unfortunately, it did little to soothe the anxious knot building in my chest.
“O-okay.”
Zoe pressed a tender kiss to my cheek before meeting my eyes.
“I promise, Miah. As soon as I park the car and again when I’m inside my apartment.”
I didn’t say anything. I just nodded as I nibbled on my bottom lip. I refused to beg her to stay. My anxiety was being irrational—as usual. It was only a twenty-minute drive for her, and at this time of night, the streets would be mostly empty.
I walked her to the door and helped her get her coat back on. Anything to keep my hands busy.
She lifted up onto her toes to give me a soft kiss. Normally, it’d have me turning into a puddle, but I was strung too tight.
We said our goodbyes, and I waited until she was in her car to close the door.
Compulsively, I checked my phone for the time so I knew roughly when she’d be home.
Then I retreated to the couch to wait, pulling my sketchbook from the end table drawer.
There would be no going to bed until I received those texts.
Tonight’s doodles were quick, rough sketches of Charlie and Zoe at the game. Except in these drawings, Zoe was all smiles, fully enjoying herself. While it may not have been her today, I was confident that it would be a reality soon enough. Healing took time. Something I understood far too well.
As time went on, I made more drawings of Zoe; some of her baking, others just of her smiling or laughing. Maybe I’d come back to them in the future and make them more detailed.
My phone buzzed on the couch next to me, and I quickly snatched it up, heart pounding.
I hearted the message and then kept the app open while I waited for the next one. This time, she sent a photo of herself curled up in bed.
Exhaustion hit me like a tidal wave as soon as I knew she was home safe, and I considered just crashing on the couch if it didn’t mean I would wake up with a horrible knot in my back.
The threat of pain motivated me to make the trek to my room and crawl into my own bed where the memory foam mattress hugged me like a cloud.
I still found myself aching for a body next to mine, though.