EIGHT
MADDIE MOVED THROUGH THE MOTIONS THAT morning in a soft-focused blur.
The distant rumble of the subway and the cacophony of the city felt muffled, as if wrapped in a layer of velvet.
Her feet drifted across the hardwood floor, untethered, as though gravity had simply given up on her.
She was still caught in the lingering heat of the night before, her body humming with the ghost of Hayley.
She wasn’t sure if Hayley had even realized what she’d done—how she guided Maddie down, inch by inch, until she was lying on her back. How they had melded together seamlessly, her body wrapped around Maddie and Maddie’s arms around her, as they both drifted to sleep.
By early afternoon, she was practically vibrating with nervous energy. After pacing the length of her guest room for so long, she began to worry she would carve a path. Maddie decided she should lean into the momentum. Before she could talk herself out of it, she tapped open their text thread.
Maddie: Are you busy tonight?
Hayley: You can't ask me out the same day you want to see me.
The reply came immediately as if Hayley had also been staring at their open texts, debating whether to message first. Maddie froze, her eyes locked on the screen.
Maddie: Who said I was asking you out? Maybe I was just making small talk to see what you were up to.
Hayley: Well, if you must know, I have plans tonight.
Maddie: You win. I'm waving the white flag. Please let me take you out for drinks. I promise next time I will ask far in advance.
Hayley: Next time? Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren't we?
Maddie: Well, usually every woman who goes out with me wants there to be a next time.
Hayley: I'm rolling my eyes. Can you feel it from wherever you are?
Maddie: No, but I can feel the smile you're making at your phone right now.
Hayley: I'll agree to drinks, but only for tonight.
Maddie: Omg. Did you lie to me about having plans or cancel them for me?
Hayley: I'll never tell.
A sly smile crept across Maddie’s face, her heart thudding against her ribs at the thought of Hayley canceling plans for her, whether it was true or not.
Maddie: I'll pick you up.
Hayley: This is not a date. Meet me at Employees Only. 8 p.m.
——
At exactly seven-forty-five that evening, Maddie sauntered into the bar a full fifteen minutes early, determined to get the lay of the land and secure a table for just the two of them. She didn’t want to share Hayley tonight.
The speakeasy was small and intimate, a dimly lit hidden gem of New York City. Rich maroon and brown paint cloaked the walls while a stained walnut bar top ran along one side, seasoned with a century of tipsy secrets.
Maddie slid onto a cold metal chair against the side wall near the back of the room, her eyes fixed on the door.
She was still surprised that Hayley had even agreed to have a drink with her, and she half expected to get stood up.
To keep her hands busy, she picked up the cocktail menu, scanning names like Billionaire Cocktail and Short Story Long.
It may have been wishful thinking, but Maddie was sure that something had begun to thaw between them the night before. Maybe it hadn’t been a full melting of Hayley’s icy walls, but a softening, at least. Like now she could wedge a toe in and carefully begin to climb.
“Is this seat taken?” A voice, smoother than mulberry silk, brushed down her neck.
Maddie jumped, wondering how Hayley had managed to sneak up on her. She looked up, a witty retort on her lips, but the air left her lungs.
Hayley Maddox looked stunning, of course—high-waisted black slacks that hugged every perfectly sculpted curve, a sleeveless silk top dipping low enough to make Maddie’s mouth go dry—but it was the nervous smile on her face that left Maddie breathless.
She ached to reach for Hayley, to pull her near and give her a reassuring kiss, to make it clear that she cared about her and would do anything to make her comfortable.
But Maddie also knew that she needed to move slowly, cautiously, and at Hayley’s own pace, or else she might take off like a feral cat.
Easier said than done, Maddie thought as she scanned Hayley’s figure again.
“I was actually saving it for someone, but you’re way too beautiful to turn away.” Maddie offered a playful wink.
A rare blush crept across Hayley’s cheeks, and Maddie took a moment to savor it.
Hayley’s gaze drifted down Maddie’s tank top, and Maddie made a silent wish Hayley would never stop looking at her like that, as if Maddie belonged on a menu, reserved for those with only the finest taste.
Hayley hesitated, lingering in that uncertain space where neither knew whether it was appropriate to hug. She slid into the seat across from Maddie, skipping the greeting entirely, leaving the low hum of conversation around them to fill the silence until a server approached.
“We’ll take a dirty martini and a Macallan neat, please,” Maddie supplied deftly, offering a quick smile before the waitress turned to leave.
Hayley raised an eyebrow.
If Maddie didn’t know better, she might have even thought that Hayley looked a bit impressed.
“Am I wrong?” Maddie asked, feeling bold. “You always order a glass of scotch when we’re out together.”
“Which has only been once,” Hayley pointed out.
“Three times, actually. Although you were drinking a dirty martini the first time we met. A woman after my own heart.” Maddie smiled at the memory of Hayley’s surliness that night. “Should I call the waitress back and change it?”
“No,” Hayley said softly. “No, that’s—that’s perfect, actually. Thank you.”
They settled into an easy, shallow rhythm of small talk, sticking to safe topics for at least thirty minutes—a new eccentric buyer who Hayley was working with, Maddie’s accidental subway detour last week.
They were uncomplicated scripts that either one of them could have used with a stranger in an elevator.
But as they ordered a second round, the conversation turned toward the upcoming wedding, and their words began to falter.
Maddie felt her enthusiasm dip as Hayley’s responses grew shorter and more clipped, not understanding where she had gone wrong.
She’d thought that their mutual best friends would be another simple, low-risk topic, even if they had butted heads when Caitlin first came to New York.
Surely Hayley didn’t still hold a grudge against Caitlin, did she?
No, she realized. It wasn’t Caitlin’s name that had soured Hayley’s expression.
It was the concept of marriage itself. And it wasn’t this wedding that had been making her so abrasive over the past few weeks—it was any wedding.
Maybe she got stood up at the altar, Maddie mused.
It would definitely require a strong person to be with a woman like Hayley, after all.
Unable to suppress her curiosity any longer, Maddie suddenly blurted, “So what’s your whole no-dating thing about?” She finished her second martini in one swig and fixed her gaze on Hayley. “I mean, don’t you want a future with someone?”
Hayley’s face grew hard, and Maddie knew she had just said the wrong thing.
“I have a future. My own, that I built.” Hayley’s voice was sharp, but her eyes had gone flat. “And I will judge the success of my future by how much my company’s revenue has increased.”
It sounded rehearsed, and Maddie simply didn’t buy it. Hayley may have been a shark, but Maddie had seen her unconditional compassion toward Gemma. Whether she was willing to admit it or not, a heart still beat within Hayley’s chest and craved connection.
“Of course, you’re right.” Maddie scrambled. “I didn’t mean to imply that life wasn’t worth living without a partner.” Was it, though? Shaking her head slightly, she went on. “But why not share it with someone? Doesn’t that sound lonely?”
She watched as Hayley slid her glass back and forth across the glossy wood of the table, her expression now unreadable.
“Sorry,” Maddie offered gently. “You totally don’t have to answer that.”
Hayley let out a soft breath and swallowed a small sip of scotch, her throat working. “No, it’s alright. It’s just been a while since anyone has actually asked.” She paused, then seemed to make a decision before finally meeting Maddie’s gaze.
When Hayley spoke again, her voice was heavy. “I’m not afraid of the commitment, if that’s what you’re thinking. People always seem to believe that I am, but I’m not.” She didn’t look away, her sincerity raw and unmistakable. “That’s the easy part.”
“So what, then?”
Hayley sighed and opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted as the server reappeared and cheerfully asked if they would like another round of drinks.
Masking her frustration, Maddie readily agreed and returned her attention to Hayley. But she could tell that the moment had passed.
Hayley stole a glance at her gold Rolex.
Maddie kept her face neutral, resisting the urge to bring up what Gemma had mentioned about Hayley needing to care for her dad and brother as a teenager.
She itched to know more, to understand the woman sitting across from her, but she also wanted those details to come from Hayley herself, in her own time.
“So, you’ve never been on a date?” Maddie asked, clearing her throat. She rolled the stem of her empty martini glass between her fingers, forcing her voice to sound casual. “Like, not even one?” She looked up in time to see a gleam return to Hayley’s eye.
“Maddie, has anyone ever told you that you ask way too many questions?”
“Holy shit,” Maddie gasped, a victorious grin slowly spreading across her face. “That’s the first time you didn’t call me Madison.” She grabbed her spoon to use as a makeshift microphone and sang, “This is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiiife!”
Hayley’s genuine, deep-bellied laugh made Maddie feel like the luckiest woman on Earth. She’d only seen her eyes crinkle like that once before, when Gemma had won her Oscar. Since then, she’d always wanted to be the one on the receiving end of that joy.
“Did you seriously just sing American Authors at me? Wasn’t that song from like, 2013?” Hayley asked through lingering fits of giggles.
Maddie could suddenly see what Hayley must have been like as a child, full of bright-eyed mischief and booming laughter. The image brought a lump to her throat.
“I sure did.” Maddie beamed, playfully puffing out her chest. “‘Best Day of My Life’ still slaps.”
Hayley looked at Maddie in a way that felt entirely new. An unmistakable spark had sprung up from the depths of her warm, dark gaze, leaving Maddie feeling breathless.
“My turn.” Hayley leaned forward on her elbows.
“What?” Maddie was focused on expanding her lungs.
“It’s my turn to ask a question,” Hayley spoke matter-of-factly. “So, what are you looking for? You’ve been on multiple dates since coming to the city, all while maintaining some type of long-distance situationship with Kim, so you obviously haven’t found what you’re looking for yet.”
Maddie’s stomach flipped. Every time she was around Hayley, she felt like she was being pushed out of an airplane at ten thousand feet, and no one had taught her how to use her parachute. She reached for her fresh drink before it hit the tabletop, desperate to soothe her suddenly parched throat.
“First of all,” she countered, holding up a finger, “I am not in any type of relationship with Kim.” She meant it. The woman already felt like a shadow from another life. Maddie reveled in the realization, knowing that her mere intrigue with Hayley had finally knocked Kim out of her mind for good.
Hayley scoffed, letting out a short, disbelieving laugh.
“I’m not,” Maddie insisted, making sure Hayley understood. She waited until Hayley offered a tight hum of agreement. “As for what I’m looking for… look, I know most people think I’m crazy for this, but I love dating.”
“I get it.” Hayley surprised her by nodding along solemnly.
“You do?”
“Yes, I do. I get why people think you’re crazy,” Hayley teased, holding back a smile.
“Ha-ha,” Maddie mocked, rolling her eyes, but continued, undaunted.
“I’m serious, though, I just find it so fulfilling to connect with people from all walks of life.
” She could honestly say that she had learned something from every woman she’d ever met.
“But to answer your question, I’m looking for my future wife. ”
Hayley propped her chin up on her knuckles, listening intently. “And what is it that you want in this bride of yours?” Her eyebrows knitted together as if Maddie’s answer was suddenly very important to her.
Maddie paused, searching for the right words.
“I want,” she started, then met Hayley’s gaze. “I want someone I can sit on the couch in silence with.”
Hayley’s dark eyes softened.
“You know what I mean? Someone I can just exist with. A travel partner. A best friend. My other half.” Maddie’s voice dropped into a playful whisper. “Someone I’m so attracted to that I can’t keep my hands to myself.”
Hayley laughed, a brilliant, melodic sound. “Oh, is that all?” She shook her head, still smiling, then looked at Maddie. “I genuinely hope you find all that one day, and more.”
Maddie had always been able to picture it so clearly—walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk with her wife at sunset, stopping at each crosswalk to steal a kiss.
A city skyline twinkling in the background.
This time, she imagined not LA, but New York City.
The hand in her own was Hayley’s. The lips against hers…
She quickly forced the images away. Hayley didn’t want any of those things. She had just told Maddie that.
“You know what? This feels like the perfect time to take a shot.” Maddie flagged down their waitress in the hopes of lightening the evening’s mood.
“Oh, no. I don’t do shots,” Hayley protested, holding up a hand.
Ignoring her, Maddie leaned toward the server.
“Two shots of tequila, please,” she ordered, tacking on a wink that made the woman blush.
Then she turned back to Hayley with her best puppy-dog eyes, a look she had nailed very early on in her career.
“Aw, come on, just one. For me?” She batted her eyelashes innocently.
When the two small glasses arrived on a tray, Hayley huffed, then reluctantly pulled one toward her.
“To a great first date,” Maddie toasted, reaching out to clink her glass against Hayley’s. But before the rim could reach her lips, a hand gently stopped her. Her skin burned beneath Hayley’s fingertips.
“This is not a date.” Hayley’s tone was stern and serious.
“Whatever you say,” Maddie drawled, brushing her off. She deftly moved the glass to her other hand and threw the alcohol back in one smooth motion.
Hayley held her gaze for a beat before downing her own shot and carefully placing the empty glass near the edge of the table.
Maddie raised an eyebrow.
“I said I don’t do shots, I never said I couldn’t.” Hayley’s eyes glinted.
Now we’re getting somewhere, Maddie thought.