SIXTEEN
MADDIE SHUT THE FRONT DOOR SOFTLY. Still dazed, she drifted into the living room and let herself fall backward onto the couch.
Caitlin paused the movie. “Um… why are you home?”
Gemma sat up straight. “Where’s Hayley?”
“Relax, Gem, I didn’t leave her in a ditch somewhere,” Maddie replied, but the joke didn’t land.
Caitlin and Gemma exchanged a quick look before returning their full attention to her.
“I’m just as confused as you two.” Maddie sighed.
“Everything was perfect. But then on our way out, we ran into Hayley’s clients.
By the time we got outside, it was like a switch had flipped.
I tried to ask her about it, but she just completely shut down.
She said she wanted to go home. Alone.” Her voice shook with hurt.
“Who?” Gemma asked quietly.
“Huh?” Maddie blinked, tilting her head toward Gemma.
“Who were the clients?”
“Oh.” Maddie paused. “Shit, I can’t remember their last name, but I know the wife’s name was Amy. And her husband was… Jacob? Something like that.”
Gemma’s face stilled. “I’ll be right back.”
Maddie watched her hurry out of the room, then turned to Caitlin. “What was that about?”
“I have no idea,” Caitlin drawled, still staring at the empty doorway. She looked back at Maddie. “Are you okay?”
“Not really. I don’t get it. I thought we were finally getting somewhere real. Now I have no clue what’s going on.” Maddie buried her face in her hands and groaned. “Cait, what am I supposed to do? I really like her, and I’m terrified I ruined this before it ever even had a chance.”
The date had been too much, Maddie scolded herself. She should have known better than to push Hayley into it.
Caitlin slid closer and wrapped an arm around her. “This isn’t about you, Mads, I know that much. Give her some time, I’m sure she’ll come around. I’ve seen the way she softens around you.”
Maddie let out a shaky breath and leaned into the embrace, wishing she could believe it.
Gemma never returned that night. Maddie and Caitlin waited up, tracking the slow crawl of the clock. They finally gave up and went to bed, hoping the morning would bring answers.
Sleep wouldn’t come. Maddie stared up at the blank ceiling, her thoughts circling the same terrifying loop. Every whispered conversation with Hayley, every night spent tangled together in the sheets, every corner of New York they’d explored side by side, replayed in her mind.
Maddie could feel the weight of Hayley’s body on hers, the electric heat of their bare skin touching, the arch of her spine beneath Hayley’s touch—all of it burned.
The fear of losing that future, of watching something so precious slip away, pressed against Maddie’s chest until she couldn’t breathe. She tried to brace herself for the inevitable impact, the brutal, gut-wrenching end she was now convinced was coming.
After hours of lying awake, she decided to text Hayley.
Maddie: Is everything okay?
Maddie stared at her dark screen, waiting for a response that never came. Only then did a fitful sleep finally claim her.
MORNING ARRIVED, INDIFFERENT TO THE SHADOWS in Maddie’s heart. She rolled over, immediately reaching for her phone. No messages.
Maddie found Gemma alone in the kitchen. “Morning Gem. Where’s Cait?”
“She went for a run, trying to beat the heat.”
Maddie heard Gemma move closer as she stirred the creamer into her coffee.
“While I have you alone, we should talk,” Gemma said softly.
A pit formed in Maddie’s stomach.
“Hayley’s gone through a lot in her life, and—”
Maddie cut her off, turning around to lean her back against the countertop. “I know. I get it—she lost her mom. She’s scared. I’ve heard all that before, but now I want to know what’s really going on.” I at least deserved that.
Gemma stayed quiet, avoiding Maddie’s eyes across the island while she lifted her mug and took a slow sip.
“Please, Gemma,” Maddie pleaded. “Give me something, I feel like I’m losing my mind.” She gripped the edge of the marble behind her, feeling lightheaded.
“I’m sorry, Mads. I have to protect Hayley’s trust, but please don’t give up on her. She feels something real for you. I’ve never seen her open up to anyone the way she has with you.” Gemma rested on her elbows, her expression softening.
Maddie drew a ragged breath, pushed away from the counter, and braced her hands on the island.
She despised being left in limbo, but she trusted Gemma’s intentions.
If there was even a sliver of hope left with Hayley, then Maddie would have to swallow her desperation and cling to patience, even if it felt like it would tear her apart.
Gemma reached out and squeezed her hand. “I can see how deeply you care about her, so I know this probably feels like shit.”
“What’s going on in here?” Caitlin asked as she wandered into the kitchen.
Gemma’s eyes danced at the sight of her fiancée. “Hey baby.”
“Don’t ‘hey baby’ me while you’re holding another woman’s hand,” Caitlin teased, trying to look upset.
“Cait, shut up.” Maddie laughed suddenly.
Gemma giggled, shaking her head. “Yeah, sorry babe, no one buys it.”
“Are you calling me a bad actress?”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Oh, here we go.”
——
A few hours later, Maddie stepped out of a boxing class drenched in sweat, her muscles trembling. She had pushed herself hard, hoping the intensity would clear her mind. It didn’t. She checked her phone for what felt like the thousandth time, only to feel more unsettled.
She headed home, showered, and made herself lunch, going through the motions without really tasting or feeling any of it. Eventually, the silence became too loud.
Letting out a long, heavy exhale, Maddie reached for her phone to try Hayley one more time.
Maddie: Can we please talk?
It buzzed in her hand, and Maddie nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked down at the screen, but there was still no response from Hayley. She tapped the arrow in the corner, returning to her message inbox. Her shoulders fell when she saw who the new text was actually from.
Kim: I miss you. Are you ever going to answer any of my texts? Maybe we can FaceTime tonight.
Maddie: No.
Just one word. It was all she had left for Kim. Maddie opened Kim’s contact card, her thumb moving before she could talk herself out of it. She scrolled to the bottom and tapped “Block Caller.”
DAYS WENT BY WITH NO WORD from Hayley. She hadn’t even stopped by her best friend’s house in over a week, which Caitlin said was practically unheard of. Maddie finally reached for the last card she had to play.
Maddie: Is everything set for this weekend?
It was the one excuse she’d been saving as a last-ditch effort, hoping that the bachelorette party would finally force Hayley into responding. Maddie didn’t know what was going on with them, but she knew Hayley would never flake on Gemma.
The big day was now only six weeks away, and the party for the two brides-to-be was set for the next evening.
Maddie and Hayley had planned the whole thing together, mostly on their own, under a strict set of rules from their best friends, of course.
Gemma and Caitlin had provided the guest list and explicit instructions to “avoid pussy straws, tacky decorations, sashes, or anything that hinted at a wild last hurrah.” With only a slight amount of whining, Maddie and Hayley had respected their wishes and put together a fun, low-key night that fit the brides’ style.
Maddie had been excited for it, at least until now.
She no longer knew where she stood with Hayley, and the thought of seeing her for the first time in days while surrounded by a group of women, half of whom she barely knew, made her stomach twist. The bachelorette party was supposed to be a celebration of joy and love, yet Maddie suddenly felt like she needed to brace herself for it.
That night, Maddie sat on the couch beside Caitlin and Gemma, idly scrolling social media while the TV murmured in the background. Her phone unexpectedly vibrated in her hand, and she jumped, startled out of her trance. Her heart dropped when she saw the name on the screen.
Hayley: I confirmed the private room for dinner and bottle service at the club for Saturday. The limousine is scheduled to pick everyone up from Gemma and Caitlin's at 7 p.m.
Maddie didn’t know what was worse—getting no response from Hayley at all or receiving a text that sounded like it had been typed out by her assistant.
The thought chased itself in circles until long past midnight, keeping her wide awake in bed as she stared out at the dark city through her window.
The constant hum of car engines, sirens, and late-night voices had become its own kind of lullaby for her.
Maddie liked the way the streetlights spilled into her room and softened the edges of the darkness.
She was finally drifting off when she heard the bedroom door creak faintly. Maddie was so exhausted from nights of broken sleep that she assumed she was imagining it until she felt a hesitant arm wrap around her waist from behind.
Maddie flipped over and found Hayley’s dark eyes staring back at her.
“This must be a really good dream,” she murmured.
Hayley leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Maddie’s forehead, her lips lingering against her skin. “I couldn’t sleep,” she whispered, reaching up to cup her cheek. “I needed to see you.”
Maddie struggled to make sense of Hayley’s mixed messages. “What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry.” Hayley traced her thumb along Maddie’s jaw, tender enough to almost make her forget how upset she had been.
“Talk to me.” Maddie placed her hand over Hayley’s to still her. “I can’t be here for you if you won’t let me.”
Hayley’s gaze shifted past her, and Maddie knew she was holding something back.