28. Ben
BEN
That bashful smile that I loved so fucking much tinted her cheeks red, driving me fucking crazy. It was the same look she gave me the first night we came out here, when she was so desperate to hide her body from me.
I won her over then, and I was damn certain she wouldn’t hide from me again after tonight.
“I’m still trying to get rid of the baby fat,” she said, flushing even deeper. “I mean, I don’t suppose I can call it baby fat after all these years.”
“You’re not twenty-one,” I pointed out. “And I’m not the same man you first saw naked all those years ago. I’ve got flabby parts, too. But that doesn’t make me love you any less.”
I slid my hand down her belly, over her hip, gripping her tight as I pulled her flush against me. “Does it feel like I’m not completely turned on by the sight of you?” I asked, digging my erection into her belly.
Fuck, I would take her right now on the grass if I didn’t think I would completely blow the whole plan.
“You’re still as beautiful as you were back then. Just as fucking sexy, and still the love of my life. You could weigh three hundred pounds, and I would still be infatuated with you.”
Her nose crinkled at that. “Please don’t ever let me get that big. I’ve been working hard to get in shape.”
“Me, too,” I chuckled. “I want you happy in your body, but I also don’t want you killing yourself to be perfect. You’re already there.”
Pressing her head to my chest, she let out a long sigh. “You say such sweet things.”
“Can’t let things slide like I have in the past. I’ll never go back to that. Now, are we getting in that water or not?”
“Well, I’m not just going to stand here naked, all alone.”
“I’m okay with that,” I smirked.
But I shed my clothes and took her hand, guiding her into the cool water. It took a minute to warm up, but when I pulled her into my arms, I forgot all about the temperature, and solely on the woman currently pressed against me.
With her arms wrapped around me, we floated into the center of the pool. Her body shivered against mine, and whether that was because of the water or my cock prodding her, I didn’t know. But fuck, I really wanted her.
“Ben…are we going to be okay?” she whispered.
I swallowed hard at her question. We’d been through a rough couple of years, and the idea that things wouldn’t work out was just too damn hard to think about.
“We’ll get there.”
Resting her head on my shoulder, I felt the vulnerability coming off her in waves. She was scared, and I couldn’t blame her for that. We’d fallen apart, and I took the brunt of the blame for that.
“Do you know what I want more than anything?”
“Hmm?”
“I want this feud with the Callahans to be over.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting her to say, but I couldn’t argue with her on that point. She was absolutely right. The feud had wreaked so much havoc on our lives, and we needed some peace around here.
“I’ll talk to John.”
“Really?” Her eyes swam with tears as she gazed into mine.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year, it’s that I absolutely can’t live without you. When you collapsed at Thanksgiving…it was the most horrible feeling in the world. I thought I lost you that night, and—”
A lump swelled in my throat, making it impossible to choke the words out. I could still feel the panic building in my chest as she foamed at the mouth, how erratic her pulse was, and that moment I knew something was horribly wrong.
“That should have been my wakeup call.”
“Ben—”
“I should have known right then that things had to change. When I saw you in that hospital bed fighting for your life, that should have made me see that things between us had gone wrong. I will never forgive myself for letting things get so bad.”
“But we’re getting back on track now,” she whispered.
“And I will never let it get to that point again.”
I wasn’t sure if I’d said all I needed to, but I’d followed Sam’s advice, and hopefully, it was enough.
She sighed, resting her head on my shoulder. “But it’s not enough for us to realize what’s gone wrong.”
“I know, and I’m fixing it. I swear to you.”
When her eyes met mine, I hated the hope I saw there. A man never wanted to feel like he was failing his woman that much, or that she had to hope he would finally fix what he’d broken.
“I talked to Liam about the business. We’re working through some ideas, about how to expand and make things more successful.”
“Really? That’s great.”
I sighed, shaking my head. “I know I’ve blown it since the ranch changed. It shouldn’t have taken you kicking me out of the house to realize what a fuckup I was.”
“I never said those words.”
“You didn’t have to,” I grumbled, brushing my lips across hers. “All I ever knew was the ranch, and the life I thought I needed to lead for my parents. It’s strange to take instruction from Liam, but that kid is smart. You did a good job with him.”
“It wasn’t all me.”
“No, but you gave him everything he needed to make sure he was successful. All I did was push and yell.”
“Let’s not rehash who did what,” she chuckled. “All that’s important is that we fix things going forward and don’t make the same mistakes.”
“I’m good with that. I don’t want to keep fighting about everything.”
“Neither do I.”
“Then it’s in the past. It’s over and done with. From now on, we only think about the future.”
A soft sigh slid over my skin as she once again rested her head on my shoulder. “I love you, Ben. And I’m sorry I kicked you out.”
“I needed it. It brought me back to you.”
Smiling, she ran her hand over her hair. “So, you really like all the changes?”
My cock pressed against her belly as I repositioned her in my arms. “Well, I will admit…I’m gonna miss the chance to grab your hair as I fuck you from behind.”
“Ben!”
“Go ahead. Tell me to watch my language. It makes me hard for you.”
Blushing, she ducked her head, but I didn’t let her hide from me. “Ben—”
“In the grass or in the water?”
“What?”
“Tell me where you want me to fuck you,” I growled. “Make it quick. I’m hard and need to be inside you.”
When she didn’t answer fast enough, I made the decision for her, thrusting hard into that sweet pussy. “Guess you only have me to hold onto now.”