33. Clara
CLARA
I had moved the television back into the den the night Ben left. I was currently sitting in his recliner that I had insisted had no place in here. Now, it was the only comfort I had.
Snuggling under my blanket, I grabbed another Oreo from the half-empty container and shoved it in my mouth. Flipping through the channels, I skipped anything too happy and settled for Walk The Line.
“She had to deal with a difficult man,” I muttered to myself, stuffing another Oreo in my mouth.
“Mom?”
I glanced over my shoulder, sighing when Krista walked into the room. “What do you want?”
“Um…some Clorox. Maybe a portable shower for you.” She covered her face, grimacing as she came closer. “Is that smell coming from you?”
I raised my arm and sniffed, but I didn’t smell anything. “I think you need to go to the doctor. I smell fine.”
“You do not. Did you eat all those Oreos today?”
I glanced at the package, then at her. “So?”
“So, what else have you eaten?”
I thought back to the chips, the bread, the mac n’ cheese— not even homemade, but the boxed stuff. “Just a few things.”
“Mom, it looks like a trash can in here. What’s going on?”
I grabbed another Oreo and popped it in my mouth. “Your father left me,” I grumbled around the cookie.
The shock on her face was comical, and the chuckle that left my lips was just a tad inappropriate for the circumstances, but when in hell…
“Wait, are you serious?”
“Yep. Just walked out the door and left,” I sighed, snagging another cookie.
She grabbed the container from me, holding it far out of reach. “Why…why would he do that? He was working so hard to get you back. He loves you!”
“Apparently, not very much.”
She slumped into my office chair, shaking her head in confusion. “There’s been nothing around town.”
“Well, I assume he didn’t go into town and blab about our troubles.”
“But why? Mom, you have to make this make sense. You two were humping like rabbits. You don’t go from that to divorce!”
I eyed the cookies, wishing I could have another, but when she saw me looking at them, she tossed them on the desk, out of reach. No bother. I opened the cooler on the other side of the recliner and pulled out a bag of chips.
“Mom!”
She tried to tear them out of my hands, but I snarled at her, refusing to let her take them. Her nostrils flared in indignation, but she didn’t try to take them again.
“Okay, start from the beginning.”
I shrugged. “There’s not much to tell. He decided to go into business with John Callahan, and when I told him that wasn’t going to happen, he left.”
“Why would you tell him he couldn’t go into business with John?”
I was just about to put a chip in my mouth when I paused and shot her an incredulous look. “Because his son tried to kill me.”
“Yeah, he tried to kill all of us,” she retorted. “But this is good for the ranch. It’s good for the town!”
I barked out a laugh at that. “Right. The town.”
“I’m serious. Business like that would be great for the town. It would help everyone.”
“Well, you have Jeff’s Highland Games to draw in plenty of attention.”
“Mom, that’s a once-a-year thing— if we even get it approved!”
“Tell me why I should care about the town. Name one thing the town has ever done for me!”
She stepped back in shock. “Okay, I see you’ve taken your loopy pills today and maybe a little bit of acid, but whatever has you so pissed off, you need to cut it out.”
“Ha! That’s hilarious. I need to cut it out?”
“Mom, Dad has been missing for days! At first I thought he was just hunkered down with you while you had sexy times, but Liam says he isn’t answering his phone and his truck is nowhere to be seen. This is serious!”
“What’s serious is that he wanted me to be connected with the Callahans. Can you believe that? He actually thought I should just partner up with them after all Austin did? I mean, what kind of idiot—”
“Mom!” she shouted, stopping me mid-rant. “Would you listen to yourself? Your husband is missing, and you’re sitting here eating cookies and chips like you’ve lost all hope in the world!”
“Well, maybe I have,” I snapped. “You know, I tried to make him happy. I told myself that if I changed enough, I would be happier, and he would love me again. But instead, all he did was walk away. I told him it was the ranch or me, and he chose the ranch.”
“Obviously not since he’s not here!” she shouted. “Why would you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Give him an ultimatum! You know men don’t take ultimatums well. Of course he walked away!”
“So, I should have just let him sign that stupid contract and hand our fate over to the Callahans?”
Covering her face with her hands, she screamed in frustration. “You have to be the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met!”
“How so? As I recall, I’ve always been very flexible with everyone.”
“Yes, unless you don’t get your way! It’s no wonder Dad walked out.”
Her words were a punch to the gut. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, come on. Over the years, we’ve always done things your way. You might be flexible to a point, but you always ran the house. I mean, up until we graduated high school, we were all terrified of anything we did, that it might get back to you and then we’d really be in trouble.”
“Oh, that’s nonsense!”
“Is it? Then tell me why I was so terrified to get my second piercings?”
“Because you knew they would look ridiculous.”
She stood and lifted her shirt. I gasped as I saw the stud through her belly button. “What did you do?”
“See? Even with that damn helix in your ear, you’re still a prude!”
“I am not!” I shouted, tossing the covers off me.
“I did this three years ago, and I’ve been hiding it from you ever since because I knew how you would react. Liam got another tattoo, and he didn’t tell you about it because he didn’t want a ten-minute lecture. As for Michael—”
“Okay, fine! I might have a problem with some things, but that doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on with your father.”
“Right. So, you wanted him to change. You practically demanded it of him, and when he finally got excited about it, you ripped the rug out from under him.”
“He wanted to do business with the Callahans!”
“And you punished him for his success,” she snapped. “After five years of moping, he finally got his shit together, and you told him it wasn’t good enough. Do you really wonder why he left?”
“Hey, I didn’t choose to give up on my marriage. He walked away.”
Her anger vanished in a second, replaced by sadness. “Mom…what did you say to him?”
Tears brimmed my eyes as I remembered our fight.
“He said he could keep me safe, but I know better. Austin will get out of prison, and he’ll come back.
No one will be able to stop him. Getting mixed up with the Callahans will only cause trouble, and I told him that, but he insisted he could keep us safe.
And that’s when I told him he had to choose. Clearly, he didn’t choose me.”
Sighing, she walked over to me. “And if he chose you, what do you think would have happened? Really, Mom. Do you really think he would have been happy to just sit around here and have sex with you for the rest of your lives?”
“He seemed happy enough over the last few weeks,” I mumbled.
“But he was finally doing something again. That’s what you wanted. You pleaded with him to get his act together, and when he did, you told him it wasn’t good enough. How does a marriage like that work?”
“Apparently not very well,” I conceded.
Plopping back down in my chair, I snuggled under my blanket, exhausted from the days and nights with no sleep, aside from nodding off for an hour or two. I hadn’t left the house since he drove away. I was too depressed.
“You know, you made a lot of changes without asking his opinion on anything, and he went along with it. It hardly seems fair that you can’t trust him with this decision.”
“Maybe not,” I whispered. “But I don’t know how to let John and his family back into my life after what happened. Getting along was one thing, but business…”
“You have to trust Dad, and if you don’t…you’re never going to be happy. And we might never see him again.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. “He’ll come home when his belly gets hungry enough.”
“And if he doesn’t?” She kissed me on the cheek and headed for the door. “Take a shower. You stink.”