12. On a Night like Tonight
On a Night like Tonight
Astra and Adelphine speak quietly at the desk, heads bent as they examine a series of leads scrawled on scraps of parchment in messy script. Jack slips out to finish the sale of the ale, and I’m left to stand awkwardly in the center of the room, arms dangling at my sides as I admire Captain Night.
His arms are crossed over his chest as he stares into the distance. He’s thinking hard about something, and whatever it is, it has his full attention.
Unsure of what to do, I open the door to go, but the hinges screech, slicing through the silence, and Captain Night’s head whips in my direction.
“Where are you going?” he asks, standing and crossing to me.
Stumbling back a step at the force of him stalking toward me, I jab my thumb at the door. “Thought I’d get some fresh air.”
He watches me for a long moment before nodding. “I’ll join you.”
I hesitate before holding the door open for him.
He moves silently past me, his long blue jacket brushing my hip.
I follow him closely down the narrow hall, my attention zeroed in on his broad shoulders, the way the rich blue fabric stretches across his back.
We’re so close I can smell him and feel the heat radiating from him.
So close I could wrestle off the jacket and make a run for it.
When we slide past Jack, his brows furrow but he says nothing.
He just watches us disappear through the tavern and into the night.
I hurry after Captain Night wordlessly through the streets of Nassau, moving at a brisk pace.
Darkness is setting, and as we walk, it only grows darker, making it near impossible to see where he’s leading me.
There’s still a strange giddiness roiling inside me, adrenaline pumping as my feet shuffle through the sand and dirt and whatever else litters the ground.
Fear, anxiety. For the coming adventure. For the research I’ll obtain.
For this man.
People part for Captain Night as we cut through groups and crews gathered in small circles and huddles, their expressions strange mixes of awe and fear as we move past. I want to ask Captain Night what his reputation is and why people seem to fear him so, but I clamp my lips together and follow in silence, tripping from time to time as my body reacclimates to land.
He leads me down a slim path that dumps us out onto the beach. It’s quieter here, and I can only just hear the soft sounds of Nassau, the laughter and clinking of cups, the fights and the other violent sounds of the city all muffled by the narrow tree line, hushed by the lapping tide.
We stop at a set of rocks jutting out from the sand.
Captain Night shrugs off his jacket and tosses it carelessly to the ground.
My fingers itch to grab it, so I can make my way to the longboats and then to the ship and find my way home to my own timeline.
But I can’t help but want this one last adventure—finding Astra’s ex-fiancé.
Maybe that will finally fill in all the little holes in the story I wish to tell.
And when it’s done, I’ll take the jacket and return home, apologize to Louise for accidentally traveling back in time, and finally, finally write this godforsaken book.
And life will just be better for everyone involved. I’ll start responding to Louise’s texts, I’ll finish this book, then I’ll write the next one, and I’ll settle into a new version of me. A happier one.
I just need a little more time here.
Torches are being lit across the island, illuminating Nassau’s darkened corners, the glow blanketing us. I settle on the rock beside Captain Night, taking in his profile against the soft glow of the moon and the faint, warm torchlight from the distance.
He is breathtaking.
He’s lost the bit of hardness in his face since the meeting in the tavern, the creases around his eyes and mouth softening as he relaxes on the beach, letting go of the persona he wears around the others. I’m thankful that he’s letting me see this bit of him.
Even if I’m confused as to why.
With a sigh, I look up, catching a sky full of stars beyond the flames. It’s been cloudy every night aboard his ship, but now that I can see them, I never want to look away. Usually, I need to travel far out of the city to see the stars, but here, they are everywhere.
“Beautiful, aren’t they?”
I focus on him, surprised to find that he’s not looking at the sky, but at me. “Yeah,” I say. “I don’t get to see them much.”
“Why is that?”
I realize too late that only in my time are they are hidden by the smog and city lights. I scratch my neck. “Oh, just really wet and rainy,” I lie.
Yet another lie to add to my growing pile.
He says nothing, and, swallowing hard, I swivel to look out over the water instead. It’s so dark, the water is nearly inky black from here. I can feel those nightmares from my childhood gripping me once more, the terror on that ferry, the fear of what lurks beneath.
Of being pulled down and not being able to fight my way to the surface.
“I could help you get home,” Captain Night says. “Whatever lead we find next, I can see to it that you make it home.”
The pit in my stomach drops, and my chest squeezes tight.
He’s giving me an out. It’s not a very useful out, seeing as my home is three hundred years in the future, but it’s an out.
He is willing to help me. I open and close my mouth, but the words that come out are not what I expected in the least.
“I don’t want to go home.” I hurry to add, “Not yet.”
Silence settles between us. I want to know what he’s thinking, want to know how he feels about my words, but I’m terrified to see his reaction.
“Why did you let me into the meeting?” I ask, still not looking at him.
“Because I trust you.”
“But why?” I turn to him, searching his expression in the dark. “Why do you trust me? You barely know me.”
“I don’t need to know you to understand you, Laszlo. You remind me of a younger me. Lost, alone. Anxious.”
“I’m not anxious.”
“No?” He raises a brow. “What do you fear, Laszlo?”
I fiddle with the hem of my sleeve, looking out at the dark water. “That I’ll never belong anywhere or with anyone.”
He leans toward me, placing a hand on the rock between us. I stare down at his fingers. They are so close to mine, nearly brushing. One move, an inch, and I could cover his hand with my own. Neither of us says anything.
Actions, after all, speak louder than words.
Slowly, tentatively, I extend my pinky and brush the side of his hand. He lets out a soft whoosh of air, breath fanning over me as he does. His heated gaze flicks up to mine, and his lips part.
I want to kiss him.
This man I hardly know, this scruffy, deadly captain, is doing things to me.
I shouldn’t feel this way about him. I’m only staying here for my research, then I’ll take his coat and go.
But ever since he pressed a blade to my throat only to spare my life, ever since he set a cool cloth across my feverish forehead—everything he’s done has warred with my idea of what a pirate should be and led me here, to this moment.
How long has it been since I felt drawn to someone like this?
How long has it been since I’ve given in to this feeling?
As much as I push my friends and Louise to find happiness, I have never allowed myself the same.
The waiter at the bar in that cheap pirate costume, the man I kissed that one night in Budapest in a dark corner where no one could see us, a woman I flirted with in Istanbul, every single person I’ve met after Julian and felt a spark with.
They were all fleeting. But this? This feels real.
Inevitable.
Without even realizing what I’m doing, I lean toward him.
I zero in on his stubble, then his chin, and finally, his parted lips.
It would take so little movement to do something I want so much, and I would give anything to live in this second forever.
My heart is pounding in my chest, and I want to run my hand through his hair, grab him by the collar and just—
We jerk away as a gunshot splices through the night. He stands out of instinct, pulling his hand with him, and I follow on shaky legs. I duck my head to hide my heated face, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, parched for something I didn’t know I thirsted for so much.
He clears his throat and wipes his hand on his pants. “We should go. Jack’ll be wondering where we went.”
I nod and move to follow him, a hint of bright blue stopping me.
I stoop to pick up Captain Night’s jacket, crouching in the sand as I run my hands over the familiar wool.
I have it. I could go, return to the ship, to my time, and stop this from getting any more complicated than it already is.
This is my chance to get back the life from which I was tugged. My chance to—
“Laszlo?”
He crosses slowly toward me. I look from him to the jacket before standing. I want off his ship more than anything—or … I did when I first arrived. An almost kiss couldn’t possibly have changed everything.
He couldn’t have changed everything.
But I’m gazing up at Captain Night, into the face of a man who trusts me more than I deserve.
Before I can stop myself, I smile and shake out the jacket, handing it over.
Our fingers brush as he takes it from me, and I feel a jolt of electricity at the touch.
I have the sudden urge to lean forward and tug him closer, to finish what we started, but I fight it, sinking back on my heels.
“No captain is complete without his jacket,” I say.
“Strange,” he says, running his hands over it. “I used to save it for coming to port, but these days, I haven’t felt the need to hang it in my closet.”
“Strange,” I echo, imagining what he might find in his closet were he to check.
A second coat.
He shrugs it on before he turns and hurries back to the town. With a sigh, I jog after him.