Chapter 32 #2
Then Ricky went for a hat trick that even I hadn’t anticipated: He bought Groove Media as well.
Before she’d left, Barbara had sold her stake in Groove to an investor who apparently had no desire to be part of a company that would now have to compete with the growing Matsumoro empire.
Ricky was going to consolidate the two publishing companies into one media conglomerate with the intention of expanding his after party into an event franchise and launching a music festival to complement the magazine brands.
Because the negotiation between Ricky, the investment bank, and Groove Media had been so contentious, Ricky’s first act after acquiring the company was to fire its combative president, Alonzo Griffin.
Unlike his exit from Park Ave Pub, this time I fervently wished it were my doing.
But it wasn’t. I actually had no idea Alonzo was out until I received a gleeful message from Luna, who told me that he’d screamed and cursed as he was escorted out of the Groove Media building.
Although I knew he was now wandering these unemployed streets, I was taken aback to see a dejected Alonzo waiting for me outside Sofie’s Café on Sunday.
His clothes were wrinkled, his locs looked dusty, and the bags under his eyes told me he hadn’t slept well in days.
It was the first time that Alonzo seemed old to me.
My apprehension must have been visible because he shook his head. “Relax, babygirl. This time, I know you didn’t get me fired. You probably cost me the NuVoices deal, but you didn’t make Ricky let me go. That was all my doing.”
I backed away from him and looked around me. “How did you know where I was?”
“JJ told me that this is where you have brunch with your girls on the weekends.”
I wondered how long Alonzo had been lingering outside the restaurant. “Okay, well, what do you want?”
He twisted the wedding ring on his finger. “Look, I know you’re tight with the Matsumoros. Can you talk to Ricky about reinstating me to run all the magazines? I should be president of NuVoices.”
I swayed on my feet, the shock making me feel unsteady. “You can’t possibly be serious.”
“Yes, I am fucking serious.” Alonzo drew closer, then stopped short. “He obviously listens to you. And you owe me.”
My anger mixed with pity as I watched Alonzo pluck imaginary lint from the sleeve of his sweater.
Having now been fired twice in a row under dubious circumstances, he would have a difficult time getting another job in publishing.
His desperation should have made me exultant.
Alonzo Griffin, the person who’d turned me out and then tormented me for years, had hit rock bottom.
Instead, I felt an unexpected sadness for my mom’s oldest friend.
Alonzo was a monster who’d assaulted several women I knew, and he deserved everything that was now coming to him.
But my mom had told me too many stories about the virulent racism and bullying they’d survived growing up, and I’d spent too many nights in this man’s arms to rejoice at his downfall.
Alonzo was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, but I had no idea who I would be if I hadn’t had to evolve and toughen up to deal with him. And I really liked myself now.
“Yeah, I do owe you … because now I know better,” I finally told him. “You’re on your own, Alonzo.”
“’You little ingrate,” he said, seething. “You do realize that I put you on.”
“And then you tried to take me out, multiple times.”
Alonzo had expected me to cave. I could see it all over his face. “You know what? I’ve been on my own, babygirl. So that’s cool, I’ll figure it out.”
“I bet you will,” I shot back. “But you’ll probably have to ask one of your boys for help. I would try JJ first.”
Alonzo flinched. “Aren’t you the quick learner,” he said coldly.
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “No, I’m a slow learner. Because it took me too long to really understand that you’re the problem, Alonzo. You tried to convince everyone, and maybe yourself, that it was me. But it’s always been you. And now, I am not going to be your solution.”
With that, I strode down the street, leaving him behind.
Ricky mentioned that he wanted to bring in an executive with fresh eyes to help him restructure NuVoices and integrate Groove Media, and I immediately thought of Marie.
I didn’t believe that she’d be able to extricate herself from Lucinda’s powerful grasp, but Ricky convinced her to take the chief operating officer role at NuVoices.
“I didn’t know how much more I could do at Park Ave Pub, and I’ve been trying to figure out my next move for a while,” she said excitedly when she called to share the news.
“I killed myself over all those years to push through diversity hires. And I just got them to bring in a Black EIC, their first ever, for TravelList, which was huge. But since then, Park Ave Pub has been acting like they’re maxed out on people of color. I was exhausted.”
“When Ricky said he needed someone to rethink NuVoices’ org and culture, you were the first person I thought of. But I honestly never thought he’d get you,” I told her truthfully. “How did Lucinda react?”
Marie snorted. “You already know that Lucinda lost her mind when I told her. I kept trying to remind her that I don’t even work for her directly, but she thinks she runs all of Park Ave Pub. Poor Mary-Kate must still be cleaning up the drink and broken glass.”
I laughed. “I think Mary-Kate has Stockholm syndrome or something. How’s StyleList doing now? Lucinda was so stressed about the decreasing audience, but she’s still there, so…”
“Well, that was a big part of why Lucinda was so upset when you left. You were supposed to be her magical negro. In my effort to get you promoted, I may have encouraged that,” Marie admitted. “I found her a Latina editor who helped her make inroads into that market. It probably saved her job.”
“Nice! But you’re wrong, Marie. You were always her magical negro. No wonder she didn’t want you to go.”
I heard Marie’s sharp intake of breath. “Oh my god, I never thought of it that way. Which makes the NuVoices opportunity even more perfect!” Marie’s voice was warm and sincere. “I really appreciate the connect, Nikki. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. NuVoices is a shit show and I can only imagine how crazy it is at Groove Media. And you’re supposed to bring them together. That’s a hell of a job.”
“Oh, I know.” Marie chortled. “I’m sure I’ll be missing Park Ave Pub’s marble lobby within weeks.
But I’m psyched for the challenge.” She paused for effect.
“And since we seem to be trading professional favors, I have one for you: I’d like to offer you your job back.
Ricky wants you to return to Sugar, and I couldn’t agree more. ”
I had a feeling Marie would try to get me back, but I wasn’t yet prepared to have that conversation. “I … I have to think about it.”
“What? Nikki, come on. I hated to admit it while I was still mad at you, but you were crushing it as Sugar’s EIC. We’d get to work together again. And it could be a fresh start for both of us.”
“But that’s just it, Marie. I’ve already made a fresh start.
” I spoke haltingly, shifting the phone from one hand to the other.
“Look, it was hard as hell to pick myself up after everything that went down at NuVoices. But I did it. I built a blog from the ground up that lots of people actually read. And now, I don’t want to go backward. ”
Marie was silent for a minute. “Okay, I get it. What if I talk to Ricky about acquiring your blog, and adding staff to help you keep it going along with Sugar?”
The idea of finally being able to pay off the last of my credit card debt was tempting.
And I had to admit that I missed being in the inner circle of music and publishing power.
But I was not excited about going back into baller culture with all its sexist bullshit.
Plus, I liked being my own boss. “I also don’t know that I want to give up the ownership of this thing that I built by myself. ”
Marie thought some more. “What if Ricky gave you an equity stake in NuVoices? That way you’d have a piece of your blog and Sugar and all the other titles. Now that would be a real fresh start.”
I couldn’t deny how much I missed Sugar.
In the mere half a year I’d worked there, it had gone from being a job to being a mission.
It would definitely be easier to continue that mission with a larger platform—and to change the industry from the inside.
That wasn’t going backward, especially if I owned a piece of NuVoices.
But I wasn’t the only one who deserved a fresh start. I thought for a minute, then said, “What if Ricky gave all NuVoices employees some equity? So that everyone has a stake in the company’s success?”
“That’s brilliant!” Marie exclaimed. “Let’s get on a call with Ricky tomorrow to talk it through. How does it feel to actually live your dream, Nikki?”
I’d been walking back and forth in my living room, and I stopped to appreciate the view of the Manhattan skyline.
The midafternoon winter sun cast a crisp, pale light over the city, giving the normally chaotic streets below a pristine and hopeful glow.
I looked north toward my childhood home in Harlem and then south toward my last apartment in Brooklyn.
“I’m not gonna lie, it feels pretty good,” I replied slowly.
But I knew that I wasn’t quite ready. To truly move forward, I would have to do something different; I would have to be different.
“There’s one more thing I need to take care of before I go back to NuVoices. ”