Chapter 17 Asia
The ball was in my court.
I wanted him too, but I was scared.
Once again, fear had gripped my heart.
“I want you too,” I admitted. “But…” my voice trailed off.
Nyree seemed to sense my confliction and let up, so now we were seated again.
“What is it?” he asked.
I didn’t want to get into it because the last thing I wanted was to come across like a damsel in distress but at the same time, he needed to know.
I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. Nyree waited, his eyes never leaving my face. That was one thing I'd noticed about him—when I spoke, he listened. Not just waiting for his turn to talk, but absorbing what I said.
"It's just..." I started, then stopped, frustrated with myself. "Things between us are moving fast."
He nodded slowly. "Yeah, they are."
"And it feels right," I continued, wringing my hands. "It feels natural, like we've known each other longer than we have. But..."
"But that scares you," he finished for me.
I looked up at him, grateful he understood. "Yes. Because it felt right last time too."
As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I hadn't meant to bring up my past, not tonight when things had been so perfect between us. Nyree had just been so happy about the website, and I had been excited to do something meaningful for him. Now I was ruining the moment with my baggage.
"What happened last time?" Nyree asked.
His tone was gentle, non-judgmental, but I still felt my shoulders tense. This was what I'd been trying to avoid—dredging up old wounds, comparing him to someone who didn't deserve to be in the same sentence as him.
"It's not important," I tried to dismiss it, but Nyree reached for my hand.
"It is if it's holding you back from us," he said. "I want to know, Asia. I want to understand."
I looked at our intertwined fingers—his hands were strong but gentle, just like him. Maybe he did deserve to know why I kept pulling back when everything between us felt so right.
"His name was Quan," I said, the name still bitter on my tongue even after all this time. "I met him through a mutual friend a few years ago."
Nyree nodded, waiting for me to continue.
"He claimed to be different from the beginning.
Said all the right things, did all the right things.
He was charming, attentive... he made me feel special.
" I paused, feeling embarrassment wash over me as I remembered how easily I'd fallen for Quan's act.
"I fell for him quickly. Everything seemed right. "
I withdrew my hand from Nyree's, needing some physical distance as I continued. "But as soon as he realized I had feelings for him, he showed his true colors. Turns out he only wanted me for what he could get from me."
"What do you mean?" Nyree asked, his brow furrowed.
I let out a humorless laugh. "Before I knew it, I was paying for his meals because he 'forgot his wallet' or was 'waiting on a check.
' I was giving him rides everywhere because his car was 'in the shop.
' Later, I found out it wasn't even his car—he'd borrowed it from his cousin for our first few dates to impress me. "
Nyree's expression darkened, but he remained silent, letting me continue.
"And then the ultimate slap in the face," I said, feeling the familiar anger rise in me. "I found out about his two baby mothers when he told me in the beginning that he had no kids."
"Damn," Nyree muttered under his breath.
"Yeah. He had two other lives that he'd been hiding from me. When I confronted him, he acted like I was the unreasonable one for being upset about his lies." The memory still stung, even after all this time. "I ended it, but the damage was done. I felt so stupid for not seeing through him."
I looked up at Nyree, suddenly worried that I'd said too much. His face was unreadable, and I rushed to clarify.
"I don't mean to tell you all this, and I don't mean to compare you to him. You're nothing like Quan. But I can't help but feel like I'm falling too fast. Again."
The words hung in the air between us. Now that they were out, I felt exposed, vulnerable in a way I hadn't allowed myself to be in a long time. I'd just admitted to Nyree that I was falling for him—something I hadn't even admitted to myself until that moment.