Chapter 43 Asia
I no longer knew what to think or believe.
I was triggered by this situation with Nyree.
This felt eerily similar to what I went through with Quan, and I refused to let the wool be pulled over my eyes again.
But how could it even be proven that Nyree didn't know about the kid?
It's not like we had mutual friends who could confirm his story.
I had told Nyree to leave after our conversation and thankfully, he did, but before he left he made sure to tell me that he was going to find a way to fix the situation.
He seemed sincere, but there was no way to "fix" a four-year-old child. You couldn't just erase a whole human being who had been on this earth for four years.
I paced around my apartment, my thoughts racing in circles. What if he was telling the truth? What if he didn't know about the child until yesterday? Could I be a stepmother before even being a mother myself? It wasn't what I had planned, not at all. But life rarely followed our plans, did it?
The Isis chick was messy as hell if she waited all this time just to pop up on Nyree with a baby now. Did she seriously never share that she was pregnant? Why not? Why wait until he announced his engagement to another woman? Were people that messy, or was Nyree just a liar?
I sat down on my couch, suddenly exhausted.
Maybe I was delusional, just like I was delusional as fuck to believe that this relationship or marriage would work.
This was why people waited years to get to know each other.
This was why more time was spent, why friends and families were allowed to get to know your prospective spouse.
Now look at me, sitting here looking like a damn fool.
I stared at my rings. They felt so significant when Nyree slid them onto my finger.
Now they just felt heavy, like weights dragging me down with all their false promises.
How the hell did I get here? Was I desperate?
Mentally ill? I didn't know, but right now I couldn't focus on Nyree or his bullshit. I needed to find a new job.
I turned on my laptop and pulled up my email. Giuseppe's rejection still stung, but I couldn't let it paralyze me. I needed to be proactive, needed to find new clients or expand my work with existing ones.
I sent an email to one of my other clients, a small boutique that I'd designed logos and business cards for.
I asked if they would like to expand in any of their services, suggesting social media management, website design, or a refresh of their brand identity.
I tried to make it sound as professional as possible so I wouldn't come across as desperately looking for more income now that Giuseppe was ending my contract.
I sent it off feeling confident. This was a good client; we had a solid relationship, and they'd been happy with my work in the past. This could be the solution to at least part of my financial problems.
While I waited for a response, I browsed job boards and freelance websites, looking for new opportunities. There were a few promising leads, but nothing that would replace the steady income from Messy Tees. Still, I bookmarked them, planning to put together proposals later.
An hour later, my email pinged with a notification.
It was from the boutique. My heart sank as I read their response, thanking me for my offer but telling me they didn't need any additional services at this time.
They were happy with their current arrangements and would keep me in mind if anything changed.
I closed my laptop with more force than necessary. Of course they didn't need anything. Of course it wouldn't be that easy.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine.
I didn't even bother with a glass, just took the bottle and a corkscrew back to the couch.
As I struggled with the cork, I realized how pathetic this scene must look—a newly married woman, drinking alone in her apartment, her career in shambles and her marriage ending before it even began.
But I didn't care. I just wanted to numb the churning anxiety in my stomach, the fear of what would happen if I couldn't find new work quickly, the confusion over what to do about Nyree and this child who might or might not be his.
The cork popped free, and I took a long drink straight from the bottle. The wine was cheap and a little too sweet, but it would do the job.