Chapter 27
VIVIAN
I have died and gone to heaven. Leo hovers over me, his muscles taut. Good God, he looks good naked. Every inch of him is strong and defined. I can feel the tension in him, every muscle hard as he keeps himself just high enough to avoid crushing me.
He lowers himself, his gaze fixed on my mouth. Slowly, he brings his lips to mine. His tongue teases mine, each flick met with my own. His mouth is heaven, his body that of a god, and I feel like a queen as he worships every inch of me with his hands and mouth—touching, tasting, winding me up like strings in a quartet, ready for the performance of a lifetime.
A James Arthur song plays softly in the background, and this feels too good to be true. The perfect song, a yacht on the Seine in Paris, and Leo—it’s like a movie, and we’re the leads.
His fingers glide over my slickness, plunging in as his thumb circles my clit. The pleasure building fast and deep, my inner muscles clenching with each pump. “Right there… oh, yes,” I gasp, barely able to catch my breath as I feel the orgasm start to rise within me. Waves of ecstasy flood my body, filling me with heat as I lose all control. My back arches hard, forcing my head back, a cry tearing from my throat as I shatter around him. My whole body writhes, toes curling tight, every nerve burning with ecstasy as I come undone .
“God, Leo… don’t stop,” I beg, my breaths short and shallow as I gasp through the euphoric sensations searing through my body. I shudder, my eyes practically rolling back, lost in the intensity as I climax.
His eyes are wild and gleam with satisfaction at how easily his touch made me come.
Cupping his balls in one hand, I gently knead them. He groans deep and low against my neck, continuing to kiss me. His dick is perfect—just the right length and girth. I continue to tease him with strokes and tickles, and as he loses more and more control, it deepens the pleasure surging through my veins.
He stands to get a condom from his pants pocket, rolling it on with practiced ease. He positions himself between my legs, and I arch into him, desperate for every inch of his perfect cock to fill me. “I want you inside me,” I pant.
Despite the overwhelming excitement, a flicker of nervousness courses through me. This is the first time since Ben, and while nothing makes me want to stop, the reality of it hits me.
Sensing my hesitation, his lips brush against mine in a slow, lingering kiss that melts away my nerves.
I gently tug on his bottom lip with my teeth, and he loses control, possessively claiming my mouth. He pulls back slightly, his breath ragged, his eyes dark with a hunger that cuts the air from my lungs. “God, you drive me crazy,” he says, his voice low and rough with need. He positions himself at my entrance, spreading my legs with his knees, pinning one against the sofa. I hold my breath, bracing myself as he dips his tip inside, just enough for me to feel him. He pulls out, rubbing his cock against my clit before pushing in again—teasing me—hovering on the edge of fully giving in, only to draw back, making my body ache for more.
He’s torturing me, and it’s maddening, like I’m being held hostage by my own pleasure, trapped in a cycle of anticipation and aching need. I can’t take it anymore. “God, stop teasing me,” I gasp, desperation seeping into every word. “Just give it to me already,” I beg, just as he predicted I would .
His eyes flare with a dark satisfaction, his control slipping just enough to finally push deeper. He continues with slow, deliberate strokes—in and out—drawing it out until I’m trembling beneath him. Grasping the back of his neck, I pull him closer, craving his mouth, and he gives it to me. The fire inside me builds as he plunges into me wildly.
My legs wrap around his back, and something primal takes over us both as he thrusts furiously. Realizing there was no need to be nervous, I surrender completely to the overwhelming sensation of how fucking good this feels. He continues to move within me, our bodies synchronized in a rhythm that makes everything else fade away. His thrusts deepen, his pace steady and relentless, drawing out every ounce of gratification. A bolt of lightning rushes through my limbs; I shudder in response, crying out as I peak. He comes with me, his body quivering over mine as he groans against my mouth, our breaths rapid and hot.
I feel him release, and his body goes limp as he pulls out. He drops his head beside mine, chuckling and pressing tender kisses along my temple. “God, Vivian,” he whispers, pulling back to gaze into my eyes. “That was… fuck. You’re incredible.” He searches my eyes, ensuring I’m okay. I’m overwhelmed with emotion as I realize that I just had sex with a man who isn’t Ben, and I enjoyed it… immensely.
Tears spring to my eyes, and I bring my hands to my face to hide.
“Hey,” he murmurs, stroking my face gently. “Are you okay?” He searches my eyes, checking that I’m okay. “It’s okay, Viv. It’s okay to feel all the things right now.” He rolls over and spoons me from behind, taking my hands in his, lowering them to my chest, and kissing my cheek.
I nod because words will fail me right now. I hate that I’m about to cry. I feel vulnerable but also safe, knowing it’s Leo. I know he understands the conflicting emotions inside me.
He kisses my forehead and strokes the hair around my face.
“I want to hold you, but we probably need to get cleaned up and dressed. We’ll be docking soon,” he says.
I nod. “Okay, let’s get cleaned up. ”
I’m suddenly very aware that I’m in a dining room on a yacht that is not ours, on a couch that God knows who’s been on, and hopefully not doing what we just did on it. The reality of our surroundings hits me hard.
“What if someone sees us?” I say, knowing the bathroom is at the other end of this large room.
He lets out a low laugh. “Don’t worry. When you throw enough money at people, they’ll do whatever you want. No one is going to come in, just be quick.”
“I think I’ve underestimated how much money you actually have,” I say, laughing.
He smirks a half smile, one dimple protruding deeper than the other. “And I’d be willing to spend every penny on you.” He gives me one last kiss on the mouth, then moves to stand, pulling me up with him.
After cleaning up, I get dressed and stand in front of the bathroom mirror. I smooth my wild hair and can’t help but wonder what’s next. I told Leo this could be a one-time thing, that I didn’t expect anything more from him, and now I’m worried I spoke too soon, not understanding how strong my feelings would be.
It feels different, like he might have changed, but I can’t get my hopes up.
Leo takes my hand in his as we exit the yacht. It’s late, and I’m exhausted, but I could stay up forever doing what we just did.
Once we’re inside our hotel room, I’m not sure what to do. We made out the entire ride back. Leo touched and teased in the back seat, sparking a hope within me, and now that there’s a flame, I don’t want it to burn out.
I decide to act normal, as if we’re just friends again. I’ll let him take the lead on this and follow suit. I change into my pajamas, stepping out of the bathroom to hang my dress as I’m brushing my teeth. With my mouth full of toothpaste, I catch Leo’s eye in the oversized, elegant mirror. He stands behind me, shirtless.
I gawk at him, not knowing if I’ll ever get used to looking at his incredible body. He wraps his tattooed arm around my waist from behind and kisses my neck. “Hmm, you don’t think we’re going to bed already, do you?” His voice is low and gruff. He trails kisses to my shoulder and back up my neck as he slides his hands into the front of my shorts.
And… I’m drenched.
I spit the toothpaste and rinse, just in time for him to pull my shorts down and pick me up. I wrap my arms around his neck, laughing. A mischievous grin rests on his face as he walks me to the bed and lowers me, removing my panties at the same time. Hovering over me, his lips find mine, and I moan into his mouth.
He leans into my ear. “What do you want?” God the way he just asks that—with his sexy fucking voice—is almost enough to get me off.
“Just… more of you,” I say, flustered and unable to think straight.
He removes my shirt and kisses my neck, and décolletage. Moving down my body, he presses delicate kisses on my breasts, down my torso to my thighs. I gasp as his fingers slide against my sensitive entrance, and I automatically open my legs in response while he continues kissing down my thigh to the curve of my knee. He makes his way back up, driving me crazy, my body responding uncontrollably, a steady beat drumming between my thighs.
His hand moves to trace the floral tattoo that starts at my hip bone and winds down to the side of my upper thigh. “This is sexy,” he murmurs, his fingers following the delicate lines of the ink. He lays one last gentle peck on my hip bone and looks up.
I let out a whimper. “Don’t stop,” I plead. He gives me a wicked grin, splays his hands against my thighs, opening them even more, and buries his face between them.
Oh. My. God!
I’m a complete wreck of moans, whimpers, gasps, and cries. I bury my hands into his hair, gently tugging as he works his magic with his mouth. My body convulses in response to the flicking of his tongue and the plunging of his fingers. The anticipation builds and builds until pleasure runs through my veins, jolting my body in complete euphoria again and again.
When we’ve finished, I lie useless like a rag doll on the bed. He plants kisses all the way back up, kissing me tenderly on the mouth .
I move to touch him, desperate to make him feel what I just did, but he softly grabs my hands and shakes his head.
“No, love. I just wanted to pleasure you.”
Is this real life?
He lies on his back and pulls me into him. “Come here,” he says as I rest my head on his chest and wrap a leg over him. He traces his fingers along my back, and something about the simplicity of his words, his loving gesture, and the processing of all that just took place unravels me. I lose complete control as a wave of raw emotion crashes over me. Knowing I just overcame a giant obstacle in my journey of moving forward, I let my guard completely down, and begin to cry. I curl up to Leo, the tears flowing uncontrollably.
Leo tightens his hold on me, murmuring soothing words. “It’s okay. Let it all out. I’m here.”
The physical intimacy had been terrifying, but now, having let Leo break through that wall, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace washing over me—a release I’ve never experienced. I tighten my grip on him, feeling both physically and emotionally naked.
Leo strokes my back gently. “You’re so strong. It’s okay to let go.”
I cry so hard and for so long that I begin to hyperventilate. I had thought I’d been dealing with my grief, but now, in Leo’s arms, I realize that I haven’t completely let myself be fully exposed. There has always been some sort of mask or facade on display, trying to be okay, especially the first year after Ben and Evie died. I was so busy planning the funeral, figuring out life insurance, getting to work, and trying not to cry every moment, that I never processed what had happened—I never fully grieved. I was numb.
I bury my head in his chest, not wanting him to see my ugly cry. “I thought I was okay,” I choke out. “God, I’ve been holding so much of this pain inside me.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You don’t have to hold anything in. You’re safe with me. ”
My body convulses as I let out a wail. Snot drips from my nose, and I wipe it away, mortified by the rawness of my emotions and my vulnerability. “Oh my God,” I cry out.
Leo only holds me tighter. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to feel everything… to release it all,” he whispers softly.
I’ve never cried like this before—these are tears of grief mixed with happiness, and it’s so fucking confusing. It’s a happy turmoil, a release from holding everything together.
“I’m sorry,” I sob, my words barely audible between gasps. “I don’t want to ruin this.”
Leo’s grip tightens reassuringly. “You’re not ruining anything. This is part of healing. You’ll have these bouts of emotional release probably many more times, and they can come out of nowhere. You’ll always be healing, learning, and shifting as you move forward, holding on to Ben and your daughter while making space for new things, and people in your life. I’m here for you, always… I promise.”
Having Leo as a witness in this unraveling makes me feel safe enough to finally feel all the things. The closeness and connection I have with him, and his presence provide a container where I can grieve differently, almost as if he can take some of the burden from me. I cry and cry, thinking that I will run out of tears, but I don’t. It turns out you can’t run out of tears—there’s an infinite well of them. I cry until I exhaust myself, and finally, I fall asleep, utterly spent, but feeling a strange sense of peace.
* * * * * * * * * *
The next Morning
I awaken to the sound of the door clicking shut and a rustling. I pry my eyes open to find Leo walking towards the window with coffees and a paper bag in hand.
“What are you doing?” I ask groggily .
He turns to me, changing course, and walks to my side of the bed. He sits on the edge next to me, setting a coffee down on the nightstand. “Sorry… did I wake you?” he asks, reaching forward, gently pushing the hair out of my face before bending over to kiss me on the cheek. “How did you sleep?”
Well hell, I could get used to this.
I smile, remembering last night. “I slept well. How about you?”
“After last night?” He smirks, “Best sleep of my life.” His hand strokes its way down my arm. Taking my hand in his, he squeezes it. “How are you feeling this morning?” he asks sincerely.
Squeezing back, I am very aware that I am still naked in the sheets, and I don’t know where we stand. Leo’s gaze doesn’t falter; his concern is genuine, his care for me very real, but that doesn’t change the fact that Leo doesn’t do relationships, and that I told him one night would be fine. I broke down last night in a way that even Sarah hasn’t seen. I fell asleep on him, naked and vulnerable, having exhausted myself with tears like a baby would with her mother.
As I look at Leo, a realization hits me, shaking me to my core. I love this man. I love him so much, and it’s not because of last night. I’ve loved him for a long time, but I just connected with him in a way that I’ve only connected with Ben, and it scares the shit out of me.
I take a shaky breath, deciding honesty is best. “I feel better than I have in a long time,” I say genuinely, pausing. “But I also don’t know where we stand now,” I add cautiously. “I know I said just one night, but last night…” I trail off as Leo interrupts me.
“Was fucking spectacular?” he asks, grinning.
I let out a soft, breathy laugh, the sound escaping involuntarily. Closing my eyes, I nod. “Yes.” Opening my eyes, I search for Leo’s. “Last night was spectacular,” I confirm.
He’s thoughtful for a minute. “Look, I’ve never done this, not for years anyway. It scares the hell out of me, I’m not going to lie. All I know is that you are the person I want to spend all of my free time with, you’re my best friend… and after last night?” He lets out a slow exhale. “You’re also now th e only person I intend to bang ,” he says, grinning as he playfully nudges me.
I can’t help but smile, the biggest grin spreading over my face in relief. He just might love me back. “You’re my best friend too.”
He bends over and kisses me, tugging on my bottom lip as he releases. “This coffee here is for you,” he says, “and a Pain Au Chocolat, just how you like in the mornings.”
“Thank you,” I say, sitting up and bringing the sheet up with me. Grinning, I take a sip of coffee as Leo rises and walks to the window to pull the curtains open, letting sunlight flood into the room. Needing to use the restroom and brush my teeth, I wonder how I will get from point A to point B without having to walk naked across the room.
To hell with it.
I stand, dropping all the covers, and stride confidently to the bathroom, Leo’s eyes fixed on me.
“Do you think we will get anything done today with you walking around like that?” he asks teasingly.
“I hope not,” I say, and disappear into the bathroom to freshen up.
I emerge from the bathroom in a bathrobe. Leo is waiting for me, back against the wall, arms folded across his chest. His eyes are sharp and focused, his jaw clenched—a lion ready to pounce, and I’m his prey. And I am not mad about it.
I laugh. “Have you been waiting there this whole time?”
He nods, uncrosses one arm, and curls his index finger, motioning for me to come to him. I walk toward him, feeling the tension crackle between us. He pulls me close, his mouth meeting mine in a heated kiss. My robe slips off, and his clothes fall away. Moving to the bed, we lose ourselves in the moment… again.
Later, we lie in bed together, spooning. Leo traces gentle fingers along my side, his touch soothing and intimate. The room is quiet, save for our steady breathing—a silent testament to the connection we just shared.
“Tell me about your first time,” I say, turning to look at him.
“Hmm?” he grunts, raising a brow.
“When did you lose your virginity? ”
“I was sixteen.” His voice is low and gruff. “Her name was Emily. We had math together. She was popular… and so was I,” he chuckles. “She was a nice girl, everyone loved her, and she was really hot.” His hand feathers across my chest, cupping my breast, his thumb stroking back and forth against my skin, making me crave more of him. “We were at a party, and I was pretty drunk because I was a shit at that age. We went into one of the back bedrooms and shagged. I don’t remember many details, except that I enjoyed it,” he laughs, “and that kicked off an even wilder streak for me—horny and reckless. What about you?”
“I was seventeen… barely, Ben and I were at a party as well.” I smile, “he had opened a beer for the first time. When it was half drunk, I leaned over and told him I was ready. I loved him so much, it was just time, you know? We went back to his house, watched a movie and eventually did it. It was great… perfect, really. No regrets,” I say, reaching upward for his lips.
Leo tightens his grip on me, bringing me close to him, his cock hard and pressing against me. My fingers trace the script inked across the top of one pec, the words blending seamlessly into his skin. It’s sexy. “What does this tattoo say?” I ask, noticing the name Chloe at the end and assuming it’s for his sister.
“Je t’aime pour toujours, Chloe,” he murmurs, the words rolling off his tongue. “It means ‘ Love you forever, Chloe. ’”
“That’s sweet,” I say, admiring it with my fingers while also enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath my touch. God, his voice is always sexy, but the way he says it in French does something for me, low and smooth, like it’s second nature.
I slowly explore his upper body with my hands, feeling the warmth of his skin on my fingertips as the sound of our breath fills the air.
“Leo,” I say hesitantly, searching his eyes.
“Hmm?”
“Tell me about your mom,” I whisper, knowing there is something buried deep inside him. My voice shakes, fearing he might shut me out.
His eyes close tightly, and I think I’ve lost him.
He opens them, and a comfortable discomfort hangs in the air .
He clears his throat. “My mum left us when I was ten,” he says, his voice rough. “She was found a week later in a hotel room, dead.” His eyes find mine. “She committed suicide. And the last thing she said to me was that I made her want to die.” He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, the hot air hitting the top of my forehead.
I blink multiple times, trying to keep tears from falling.
What the fuck?
“Oh my God.” I shake my head, unable to comprehend it. The difference in our mothers, the contrast between my childhood and his—it’s overwhelming. “I’m so sorry.” It’s all I can say.
“Don’t, Viv. Don’t say you’re sorry. She was mentally ill, but I’ve never wanted to feel sorry for her. I’ve held on to this anger and resentment for twenty-five years. It fueled me for a long time, made me who I am today. But I’m starting to see that maybe it’s time to let some of it go, even if it’s bloody hard.” He pauses, swallowing. “After you said you needed space, I realized I needed to deal with this, so I’ve been doing EMDR with Mer. But… I’m telling you this now—even though I’m working on it, I never want to talk about it again. Truly. You asked, and I’m trying to be open, but this is not a topic that brings joy to my life. You make me happy, and this thing is fucking evil. It has no place in our lives.”
I scowl slightly, then soften. “Okay… I promise I won’t bring it up again.” I bring a hand to his cheek, saying “Thank you for telling me,” and kiss him gently on the lips.
I’m overwhelmed, knowing he chose to face this for a chance to be with me—for us, wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing breath, our body heat simmering.
“I’d say I’m sorry for pushing you away, but I’m not,” I say earnestly. “If that’s what brought us here, then I’m not sorry at all.” I smooth my hand over his chest, “I think sex was bound to happen on this trip, and if I hadn’t done what I did, and you hadn’t gone to Meredith, things would have been a lot different right now.”
“You’re probably right,” he pauses, raising his brows, “We’d be in some deep shit,” he laughs, making me laugh too .
We spend a few minutes kissing, savoring each other, until Leo pulls back. “We should get ready for the day. We still have a lot to see and do in Paris.”
I smile up at him, soaking in this core memory while making space for it in my heart. I’m learning to move forward, keeping Ben’s memory alive within me at the same time, and it feels perfect right now.
The rest of our trip is pure bliss. We dive into the sights Paris has to offer, steal kisses in dimly lit alleyways, and get lost in each other’s arms. Between the tangled sheets and city streets, we share stories and secrets, laugh our asses off, and create memories that blend the old with the new.