15. Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
ANDREA
My sister stares at her dish of Bucatini Carbonara skeptically, waiting for someone else to try it first. Julian has no problem doing this. I glance over to see a mountain of pasta on his plate as if he does not doubt that it will be anything less than delicious.
When my sister tried to insult me, he took up for me and I can’t remember when anyone besides Carter has ever done that.
It makes me feel things—curious things. How a man like him hasn’t been snatched up by anyone yet is beyond me.
He’s unbelievably kind and now that I know how he grew up, I know that his kindness was something he had to fight to hold on to.
I wonder if he even knows how strong he is for that.
I can’t help but sense a loneliness about him. There’s a lulling tug on my heartstrings whenever he’s near me. It’s like something is pulling me toward him and now that it’s begun, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stop it.
I’m beginning to realize too late that fake dating him might just be the worst idea I’ve ever agreed to. When he pulled me into him and kissed my head, I melted like butter. His presence is soothing and addicting. Even now, I fight the urge to scoot my chair closer to his.
When he shoves a tornado of noodles into his mouth, he makes a show of his eyes rolling into the back of his head and letting out a groan of delight.
His goal has been achieved. My confidence is tenfold right now.
When our eyes connect, he swallows and then smiles at me. “Best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.” I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from grinning like an idiot. Except he doesn’t stop there. With our audience as a witness, he adds, “Besides you.”
My eyes widen and at the other end of the table, Mason chokes, his fork clattering on the plate. My sister laughs in delight at my fake boyfriend’s words.
“That’s a little inappropriate,” Mason says quietly, frowning at me .
Willa rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so prim, Mason.” Then she looks at me with approval. “Good for you.”
He scoffs at her, and they bicker quietly among themselves. It gives Julian time to lean over and whisper, “You’re blushing, Andrea.”
He smells maddening, and it messes with my brain cells, making me all dopey. “You just told my sister and her husband that I’m the best thing you’ve ever put in your mouth,” I whisper back, fanning myself with my hand.
His grin is fiendish, clearly proud of himself. “This is going to be fun with you,” he states before leaning back into his chair. Holy shit, he’s such a flirt. What have I gotten myself into?
I’m about to ask him what he means by that, but then my sister asks what I know she’s been thinking since the moment she met him.
“Will he be coming with you for Christmas?” she asks, finally tasting the food I cooked. She doesn’t tell me whether it’s good or bad, but she’s not gagging, so that’s a good sign. I don’t miss how she acts like this is already happening when I haven’t even agreed to go to Maine this year .
I look over at Julian, ready to give him an out if he wants one. I have no intention of forcing him to do anything. I’m surprised when he dips his chin in confirmation and says, “If you’ll have me. I’d love to meet Andrea’s family.”
My sister beams at him. “Wonderful!”
I don’t miss the way Julian keeps eyeing Mason.
He’s most likely trying to figure out what kind of man he is and I get it.
My ex-boyfriend somehow ended up married to my sister and I know what he’s thinking.
The thing is, he’s probably not far off from the truth.
It was a really long time ago and I can’t ever say I was in love with him. I’m not even sure what that means.
I take a bite of the pasta and try not to smile at myself like a weirdo. Julian wasn’t exaggerating—it really is delicious.
“How did you two meet?” Mason asks us before taking a sip of wine and grimacing slightly at the taste. I don’t know why he’s drinking it. He hates wine.
Clearing my throat, I decide to give them most of the truth.
“Well, the building I was previously living in received notice for property demolition, so I had to find a place at the last minute. Carter introduced me to Julian, who happened to have plenty of room to spare.” I pause to look over at him, and the thankful expression I give him is real. “And I’ve been lucky ever since.”
“You live together?” I can hear the distaste in Mason’s tone.
I nod. “Yes.”
His head tilts slightly. “Little fast, no?”
“Mason!” my sister whisper-yells, stabbing his arm lightly with her fork. “How is Carter these days?” she asks me, but Julian isn’t ready to let Mason’s judgment slide .
“Yes,” he answers calmly. “You’re right, it was fast. However, sometimes it only takes a month to find what most people have been trying to feel with someone else for years.”
My mouth goes dry at his words, and I’m scared to speak for fear my voice will come out squeaky. He doesn’t mean what he says . This is fake . I have a feeling this is going to be a lot harder than I thought.
Mason hums, and with a strange look from my sister, he goes back to eating his dinner in silence.
I cast my focus toward Willa and go back to her question. I know what she’s really asking. “He’s okay.”
The three of us grew up close together. It was almost impossible to separate us when we were little kids. Now that Carter and I are closer, I know it bothers her to be on the outskirts.
When Carter was in his second year playing for the Mets, he got a really bad head injury fighting at a bar.
It totaled his career, but also saved his life.
It was then he found out that he has a heart disease called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, often referred to as HCM.
When he finally came to terms with his baseball career being over, he took an interest in becoming an agent.
Like me, he couldn’t leave the only life he’d ever known completely.
My sister smiles softly and jokes, “So, still a danger to society, then?”
“I’m afraid it’s a personality trait at this point,” Julian tells her, and we laugh.
Her smile widens as Mason says, “I think we’ll only need to worry when that stops being true.”
My sister reaches over to grab his forearm, rubbing a thumb over the material of his shirt. I feel the heat of Julian’s eyes on me and decide to meet them. There are so many questions there—too many to answer at this very moment, so I focus on one. The one that asks, are you okay?
I nod and expect that to be it, but then he takes my hand and brings my wrist to his mouth. I inhale sharply as his soft, warm lips press against my skin. He never breaks eye contact with me.
“You look very pretty tonight,” he murmurs, threading our fingers together on the table.
“I do?” I breathe.
He rubs the center of his chest. “I look at you and it hits me right here.”
A couple of things happen at once. My heart throbs in my chest and my head goes light on my shoulders. The sincerity in his tone and the way he’s looking at me is setting me on fire. My lungs constrict at his praise, and I know with certainty that I want it again.
“Julian,” I say quietly. I don’t know why it’s his name that comes out of my mouth.
His thumb brushes over my knuckles. “Andrea.”
Goosebumps erupt on my skin as I shiver at the way he says my name. His eyes fall to my arms and a slow, knowing smile forms on his gorgeous face. “Chilly?”
Biting my tongue, I grab my glass of wine and chug it.
Thanks to Julian, the dinner passes quickly, and the conversation runs smoothly. I’m thankful he’s here since my social battery has begun to falter. Being social for this long makes me sleepy. By the time the clock nearly reaches eleven, I’m pretty sure Julian has been counting my yawns.
I ignore his concerned looks as we all relax in the sitting room surrounded by his art, which I’m happy to stare at now. It’s like each painting is a piece of a puzzle that I’m determined to solve .
When he maneuvers us so that my head rests on his shoulder from where we lounge on the sofa, I let out a content sigh.
His fingers play with my hair as I fiddle with the buttons of his shirt.
It’s insanely intimate, and I have to keep reminding myself that I’m only touching him like this because we’re being watched, not because it feels nice.
As much as I want to deny it, I haven’t felt this comfortable with someone in a long time.
Eventually, silence consumes the room, and that’s when Julian drops his mouth to my ear. “Are you drooling on me?” he whispers. Too exhausted to care, I nod. It causes him to laugh, and the sound is deep and throaty. “Drool on me anytime you want, Andrea.”
I grin, poking him in his stomach, and feel his muscles tighten. Quickly, he takes my hand in his to ensure I don’t do it again. Hm, he must be ticklish there. Instead of letting go of my hand, he holds it.
Lifting my head, I find him already watching me. I can tell he’s tired too, but my sister and Mason are nearly asleep on the couch across from us. “Want to kick them out?”
His eyes crinkle with contained laughter as they shift between mine.
“I heard that,” my sister says, annoyed.
I roll my eyes but still face Julian. “Only psychos stay this long.”
Willa huffs. “Well, I’m sorry if I’ve missed my little sister.”
A pang of remorse seeps through me and I feel a little bad.
It has been a long time since we’ve seen each other.
“I’ve missed you, too,” I tell her and it’s the truth.
Our relationship has been more than complicated.
I mourn how close we used to be every once in a while, but I know it’s something that can never be repaired. She married the reminder of that.