46. Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Six
ANDREA
The JFK airport is something molded from the depths of hell. Thankfully, I was able to turn off my brain and let Julian lead me to where we were supposed to go. It’s only five-thirty in the morning and the lines are crowded and the people are people-ing.
I let him do all the talking and thinking as I do my best not to be a grouch. It’s a hard feat, seeing as I’m standing here with four hours of sleep. I’m practically sleepwalking. The only good part is a glorious ache between my legs from our activities last night—and this morning.
Julian doesn’t complain when I rest my head against his shoulder or drool on his perfectly dry-cleaned shirt every time I doze off a little. He keeps his hand firmly in mine, squeezing it every so often that feels so naturally right that it makes me giddy.
So far, my plan to look put together for my family is malfunctioning. Right now, all I have to show are dark circles and hearts in my eyes. I’d be insecure about my bare face if it wasn’t for Julian looking at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on.
When we finally make it to our gate, he ushers me gently into a seat and says, “I’ll be right back,” before sauntering off and drawing looks from every woman in his vicinity. I’d scowl if I wasn’t so tired. I already won anyway. That man is mine.
My silent point is proven when he returns fifteen minutes later with two steaming paper cups of coffee. Handing me one of them, he says, “Pour ma cerise grincheuse.”
I narrow my eyes, glaring half-heartedly. “Thank you.”
After taking a seat, he leans over and presses a kiss to my temple. I savor it; loving that he kisses me so often. “Tu es trop belle pour les mots.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, before taking a sip of my coffee.
He lays a hand on my thigh as he rests his head against the wall, rolling it to the side to look at me. “Mon ame est en feu et exige votre attention.”
I rest my chin on his shoulder as I look up at him, batting my eyelashes. “Such pretty words from a pretty man.”
This makes him smile, which in turn makes me do the same.
“Je veux te go?ter à nouveau sur ma langue,” he murmurs, his eyes darkening at whatever he said.
“Are you talking dirty to me?” I ask, giving him a skeptical look. “Because it’s working.”
He chuckles. “Yeah?”
“Mhm. Keep going.”
“We’re in public.”
My eyebrows bounce as I say, “Even hotter.”
He leans in closer so that his mouth drops to my ear.
“Je peux encore te sentir jouir sur mes doigts et ma bite.” Butterflies fly around in my stomach at the pure sex his words leak.
I may not know what he’s saying but I can feel it—specifically in my lower belly.
His lips press into the skin below my ear as his hand tightens its grip on my thigh. “Tu t'effondres si joliment pour moi.”
Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that I’m wide awake now.
“OH MY GOD, THIS is first class.” I stare, dumbfounded, as the flight attendant directs us to our seats, not the ones I had picked out in coach. I was so exhausted while Julian checked our bags that I must have zoned out when he made a switch.
There’s a deep chuckle next to my ear. “The bathrooms are bigger, too.”
My lower belly warms at the meaning behind his words. “Are you trying to tempt me into joining the mile-high club?” I ask him as I slide into my seat.
He settles in next to me. “Maybe I am.”
“May I offer you both a complimentary glass of champagne?” the attendant asks.
My eyes widen. “Really? I mean, um, does that happen to come with orange juice?”
She grins. “It certainly can.”
I beam, bouncing in my seat.
Laughing, Julian says, “That’s a yes from her, and I’ll take one as well.”
“Right away.”
When she leaves, Julian faces me, a lightness about him that tells me he’s relaxed. “You do know it’s seven in the morning, don’t you?”
I lift a playful brow. “Don’t judge me. You ordered one, too.”
“I would never judge you.” He wraps his fingers through mine and brings it to his mouth, kissing the back of my hand. “That’s why I’m joining you. ”
“Best boyfriend ever,” I tease, and he leans over to steal my lips in a quick kiss.
The attendant comes by with our drinks, and when I immediately chug half of it, I pause to find Julian staring at me, amusement flooding his eyes.
Hesitant, I admit, “I need liquid courage for the question I’ve been avoiding asking you.”
His brows bunch together. “Ask me anything.”
“Since we’re, you know, doing this whole real thing.
” I motion between us and he nods, the corner of his mouth twitching.
“You know about Mason, and I know about Willow, but I don’t know much about Eden.
I know it’s not any of my business and you don’t have to tell me anything that causes you discomfort, but I may or may not have caught the end of your argument on the yacht.
” I take a breath. “It seemed like she wanted you to tell me something. Was that about. . .”
He clears his throat, The earlier amusement he had is gone now. “Yes. She, uh, tends to stick her nose in places that don’t belong to her.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did the two of you break up?”
“I don’t mind,” he assures me. “There were a few reasons and truthfully, she and I never made much sense in a practical way. It was pretty casual for the most part. She gave me the space I needed back then, but just so you know,” he starts, eyes focused narrowly on me.
“I don’t need it now. I don’t want you to give me space. Ever.”
I dip my chin, giddy at that. “Ok, no space, got it.”
Satisfied, he leans over to kiss my nose.
“We had different ideas about the future. As you know, having a healthy family someday is important to me, and not that there’s anything wrong with it, Eden is driven by her work—consumed by it, actually.
Eventually, I found myself being categorized in her life as another task on her to-do list. I ended things with her and moved to New York to finally spend time with the family I did have—Abigail. ”
“Was the yacht the first time you two saw each other again?”
He nods. “She never reached out, and it was for the best. I have no hard feelings about it. I’m afraid my bitterness has run a bit dry regarding my past.”
I sigh, resting my head on his shoulder. “Mine, too. Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re in for it now,” he warns playfully. “I can feel myself opening up like a book.”
I laugh. “How about this? I tell you something about me and then you tell me something about you.”
“Sounds perfect, ma cerise.”
WHEN A FAMILIAR RED SUV pulls up to the curb, my heart drops to my stomach. The window rolls down, revealing a blond-haired man and a panting Saint Bernard. My eyes meet baby blue ones and then he’s grinning at me like mad.
Miles Grant—Mason’s twin brother—and his dog, Peanut.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” he chides with ease, and I feel Julian stiffen slightly beside me.
I frown in confusion as I watch him get out of the car. “You’re not my sister. ”
His head falls back as he laughs. “Thank Jesus for that. Come here, would ya?” He steps onto the sidewalk and pulls me into his arms for a smothering hug before releasing me.
I step back and gesture to the man beside me, who looks as beautiful as he does out of place. “Miles, this is Julian Havord, my boyfriend. Julian, this is Miles Grant.”
I’d covered a lot of bases on the plane to help prepare him to meet my family. I didn’t think to mention Miles and feel a little bad that I completely forgot about him.
Miles lifts an impressed brow as he gives Julian a once-over. “Well, shit. Now I know why my brother’s walking around with such a sour attitude.” He reaches out to shake his hand.
“Your brother would be. . .” Julian fishes.
Miles tosses me a look before answering, “Mason Grant, the bullet the lovely Andrea here dodged.”
“Ah,” is Julian’s response, not looking at all uncomfortable with the realization that my ex-boyfriend's brother is picking us up from the airport.
“Where’s Willa?” I decide to ask since I’m not interested in further talk of the said bullet. When I spoke with her on the phone only two days ago, she sounded excited about picking us up and seemed pretty set in stone about it.
Miles grimaces. “Yeah, she hasn’t been much better than the dimwit. Not really sure what’s going on there.”
Worry instantly gnaws at me as I wonder what it could be.
It’s not like we tell each other everything, but I think a talk is long overdue for us; whenever we’re both ready for it.
I’ve moved on and finally, she and the rest of my family will see.
They’ll see that I’m okay and can perfectly manage to take care of myself, just like Carter.
“We should get going,” Miles states, walking around to the back of the car to open the trunk. “Your grams will clip me on my ear if I don’t get you home on schedule. She’s already upset that Carter's not arriving until tomorrow.”
Once our luggage is loaded, Julian and I slide into the backseat. I choose the middle seat so I can stay close to him. He’s got this whole dominant and reassuring vibe going and I desperately need him to be my rock right now while I mentally unpack what being back here is doing to my psyche.
This place might be where I grew up, but I’ve never felt more out of my element.
I drone out the casual small talk between Julian and Miles as I swipe my sweaty palms on my jeans.
I stare out of the window, taking it all in and the memories that come with every corner of Cape Elizabeth.
When Miles takes a detour to avoid the road my accident was on, neither of us says anything.
It’s almost an hour drive with traffic, but not nearly long enough to mentally prepare me to see my parents waiting on the porch.
“Oh god,” I find myself saying, muscles coiling tightly in anxiety. “Turn the car around.”
“What?” Miles asks, laughing like I’ve told a joke.
“I said turn the car around, Miles!” Panicking, I scoot down in my seat. “I can already tell they’re going to be weird. I can’t do it.”
“Relax, would ya?” Miles laughs again, and I scowl at the back of his head.
Meanwhile, Julian reaches over to take my hand in his, and gives me a kiss on the head.
“Hey, you’re okay.” That’s all it takes for me to get a solid breath of air into my lungs.
“If you want to make a run for it, just let me know.” He squeezes my hand and the look on his face tells me he’s serious and that he’ll be right there running with me.
And like a flash flood, it hits me out of nowhere and seemingly everywhere at once.
I don’t need to be afraid to face my family, because I’m not alone. I have him.
That realization is enough to have me sitting up in my seat and squaring my shoulders—still clutching Julian’s hand like a lifeline, but armored up nonetheless.
“They act like me getting a boyfriend is the equivalent of winning a Grammy,” I mutter, slightly embarrassed. I turn to Julian as Miles parks the car, still snickering like a goof. “I feel I should warn you.”
A small smile rests on Julian’s face. “Little late for that, no?”
Wincing, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re basically Bigfoot to them.”
Miles snorts. “That’s true.”
I glare at him. “Not helping.”
He shrugs, crossing his arms as he stares into the rearview mirror with amusement etched across his stupid face. “No use. They’re going to smother him either way.”
“Get out,” I state, pointing at his door.
With a huff, he complies. Opening the door and stepping out of the car as he mutters under his breath, “Kicking me out of my own bloody car.”
When the door shuts behind him, he throws me a wink before strolling over to my family like it’s his, which isn’t far off entirely. He’s as much a part of our family as Mason. In fact, my parents secretly love him more.
“Sorry about him. He’s a complete goofball with no ability to read a room,” I tell Julian, who’s watching me closely with all the patience in the world as I glance down at my clasped hands. “And I’m sorry. I just know my family can be pretty overwhelming.”
“Andrea.” His soft, deep voice soothes the chaos inside of me. Fingers caress my chin before tilting my face upward. My eyes run into gentle blue ones, and their emotion has my shoulders relaxing. “Take a breath, ma cerise.” I nod, pulling air in through my nose and exhaling. He smiles. “Good.”
I smile back. “Hi.”
His thumb runs over my mouth as his eyes narrow in amusement. “Hi.”
“I’m afraid,” I admit.
Instead of telling me not to be, he asks, “Want to hear the truth?”
I nod.
Swallowing thickly, he says, “So am I.”
My brows furrow. “Of what?”
“You, mostly.” He lets out a soft laugh, his hand now resting against the side of my neck. “I know this was part of the plan, but I’ve never had someone bring me home to meet their family before. I’m a nervous wreck.”
My heart drums faster in my chest. “You don’t look nervous.”
“Don’t be fooled. If you could peek beneath my skin, you’d see that my fear is not as hidden inside of me as I let people think.”
He’s had practice hiding his fear. I sullenly realize that it’s because he’s used to it.
He’s probably been afraid for most, if not all, of his life.
For a moment, he shows me a glimpse of the broken pieces of him that were never glued back together.
For a moment, I see the real him, and my heart cracks wide open at what he continues to reveal to me .
“But not me?” I breathe.
“Never you.” He presses a kiss on my eyebrow. “Which part are you afraid of?”
“Time,” I tell him gently. “And my absence within it.”
“That’s understandable.”
“So is yours,” I say, and he gets a peculiar look on his face. I take his hand in mine and squeeze. “I’m sorry if this feels like my family is—”
He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize for having people. I’d give anything in the world to be as wealthy as you.”