52. Chapter Forty-Two #2
“Where have you been?” he asks, but he doesn’t expect an answer because he follows with, “My whole life, Andrea. That’s how long I’ve waited to feel this.”
“To feel what?”
“Worthy.”
“Julian,” I whisper, shaking my head in disbelief that he could ever think he wasn’t. “You fill every space in my soul I never knew existed. I think that maybe I was lonely before I met you. I never knew that needing someone could be a good thing.”
“You need me?”
I nod once. “I do.”
He lets out a shaky breath, wearing relief in his gray eyes and his heart on his sleeve. “I need you, too, ma cerise.” His words caress my soul in sync with his thumbs on my throat.
Tell him , the voice in my head urges. Tell him now .
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to—” There’s a loud knock, cutting off my sentence.
“Are you two awake?” Willa’s voice yells through the door. “Riley wants to open more presents.”
I clear my throat. “We’ll be down in a minute!” I call out.
“She’s on a warpath. I can only hold her off for so long.”
I roll my eyes at Julian, who’s grinning ear to ear before yelling back, “I said a minute! ”
There’s a string of curse words as my sister finally walks away from the door.
“You were saying something,” Julian reminds me, as if I could forget.
Shit . Fuck . Goddamn it . All my bravado has left me thanks to the interruption. My palms start to sweat and a lump forms in my throat. Oh my god, just say it, you coward .
I open my mouth, but then the door flies open, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.
Carter swaggers into the room with pure confidence.
“Merry Christmas, party peop”—My eyes connect with Maisie’s as she appears from behind him, grabbing onto his ear—“Ow, ow, ow!” She pulls him from the room, shutting the door behind them.
I turn back around to face Julian. His mouth is pressed into a firm line, trying his best not to laugh. “I see now why you woke me up early.”
He kisses away the frown on my face. “What did you want to tell me?”
I take a deep breath, deciding it’s best to let it go for now. I rest my forehead against his chest. “Never mind.”
“You sure?” he asks softly, running a hand over my hair.
No . “Yeah.”
He presses his mouth to the top of my head. “Prenez votre temps.”
THE MORNING FLEW BY.
We all huddled around the living room to watch Riley open more presents than a five-year-old needed. Being the only grandchild certainly had its benefits. Having felt bad about not having a gift for the little booger, Julian had promised to help her build the biggest snowman ever made.
It was barely five feet tall, but to a little girl, it was practically a giant. Speaking of giants, she’s started to call him Bigfoot. I have a distinct feeling that it may be Willa’s fault and I’m almost positive she’s convinced my niece that’s his real name.
It’s too cute to correct, and it manages to put a smile on Julian’s face every time she says it, so I haven’t the heart to interfere.
It’s now well into the afternoon as we—me, Julian, Maisie, Carter, Miles, Willa, and Mason—sit on the porch, watching the snow fall in soft pellets on the beach.
I’d usually complain about the cold, but it’s the perfect excuse to snuggle closer to Julian.
He stands at my back, his coat wrapped around me as he hugs me to his chest.
Grams is with my and Carter’s parents inside drinking hot cocoa while Riley naps on the couch by the fireplace. After all the cookies I saw grams sneaking her, I knew she was bound to crash sooner rather than later.
“It’s so peaceful here,” Maisie muses with a frown from where she sits in a rocking chair, her legs kicked up on the railing. “I don’t like it.”
I snort. “You don’t not like peace. You just hate relaxing.”
She hums. “Maybe.”
“You’re too hard on yourself,” Carter states, emotion void from his tone.
She flashes him her middle finger. “No one asked you.”
I sigh. “Oh, Maisie.”
Behind me, Julian chuckles. “Children, please.”
“He started it,” Maisie mutters, dusting the snow off her sleeves.
Carter’s mouth falls open in disbelief. “You know what? I’m gettin’ real tired of trying to be nice to you.” He’s not. I can see that in his eyes. I’m starting to feel bad for him, which is weird .
“Oh boohoo, whatever will I do?” Maisie fake pouts with a mock look of devastation. Her phone dings from where it sits on the arm of the chair, but she opts to ignore it.
Carter sticks his tongue to the inside of his cheek, biting back a retort I know it’s killing him not to say.
Sensing the need for a distraction, Willa claps her hands together and suggests, “Let’s play a game!”
“A game?” Mason asks, his face a tell that he thinks that’s a terrible idea.
“ Yes ,” my sister hisses and turns back to us with a bright smile. “A fun one.”
Playing any game with Willa is the opposite of fun. She’s all about rules and following them. She thinks cheaters deserve the death penalty.
Julian brings his mouth down to my ear and whispers. “Should we be worried?”
I tilt my head back to look up at him. “Probably.” He steals a quick kiss, causing me to laugh.
Miles shrugs. “I’ll play a game.”
“If it involves drinking, I’ll participate,” Maisie quips.
“Already ready for round two?” Julian questions playfully.
She winks, flipping her hair over her shoulder nonchalantly. “I’m a trooper, what can I say?”
“I’ll drink,” Carter states.
“Of course you will,” Maisie mutters, and his jaw feathers.
To avoid another spat, I add, “I’m in.”
“Ok, fine, we can drink,” Willa says with a huff of annoyance.
Out of the corner of my eyes, Miles bristles. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? ”
Everything inside my body coils up tightly, his tone far too insinuating for my liking. “Um, why wouldn’t it be?”
His brows furrow in blatant confusion. “You shouldn’t be drinking a lot with your disease.”
I feel Julian tense behind me and I want to both bury myself deeper into him and run away, but I’m frozen as my fear comes to life.
“Shut your mouth, Grant,” Carter warns.
Understanding crosses Miles’ face at the look on Carter’s and the horrified one I’m wearing. His brows lift. “Are you serious? You didn’t tell him you have HCM?”
The blood drains from my face. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Oh god .