58. Chapter 58
ANOTHER?
ANDREA
Dandelion seeds wisp through the golden air around Julian and me as we sit on a plaid blanket with a picnic basket full of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Every year, on his mother’s birthday, we visit the meadow in Massachusetts and make a wish for the future we can’t seem to stop looking forward to.
I study him with my cheek pressed to my knee as he stares across the field, lost in his mind as he always does for the first few minutes when we arrive. Awe pours through me as he fights off those demons to come back to me. He has no idea how strong he is and how worthy of love his soul is—no matter how broken he believes it to be. Our broken pieces fit and together, we get to be whole and wonderful.
“You’re staring,” he murmurs, reaching over for my hand and I let a smile spread over my face. He brings it to his mouth and presses a kiss to the rock decorating my ring finger.
“Am I not allowed to stare at my gorgeous husband?” I tease as I scoot closer to sit in front of him with my legs crossed.
His eyes soften in the way they always do when they land on me and my stomach flutters in response. “My beautiful, beautiful wife,” he says softly as he runs a knuckle over the frame of my jaw. “What were you thinking about?”
I glance down at the band on his finger and my eyes already start to fill with tears. “Pour toujours.” Forever.
He frowns and says, “Je déteste quand tu pleures.” I hate it when you cry.
I sniffle. “This is a happy cry.”
“Still, I fear you’ll dehydrate yourself lately,” he tells me and I huff a laugh. That doesn’t ease him in the slightest. He presses the back of his fingers to my forehead, cheek, and neck. “I told you that if you weren’t feeling well, we could have stayed home this year.”
I shake my head and take his hand so that I can kiss it. “I’m feeling perfectly fine, mon chéri.” I lean over and grab two dandelions. “Let’s make our wishes.”
His hands slide up my thighs. “I already have everything I could ever want.”
I roll my eyes. “Just make a wish. You flatter me enough just by existing.”
He chuckles as he takes the dandelion from me. “Yes, ma’am.”
My eyes narrow on his playfully before I close them. Instead of making a wish, I whisper the secret I’ve been carrying for a month to the woman who created the man I love.
When I open my eyes, he’s always looking at me as the remnants of our dandelions float around us. The sun seems to warm even more as crickets chirp around us.
“Was it a good wish?” I ask.
“I already have everything. What more could I want?” He lifts a brow.
My nerves spike as anticipation flushes through me. “So, what did you wish for?”
He gives me a confused look. “I can’t tell you or it’ll cancel out my wish.”
I lick my lips and swallow thickly. “What if it’s one I can make come true right now?”
“Andrea, what—”
“Open the basket,” I blurt out, not being able to stand him not knowing for a minute longer. I shift to my knees, antsy with overwhelming emotions as he lifts the lid and peeks inside.
I watch as his entire body freezes. My heart is beating in my throat as I witness a dozen emotions flicker across his beautiful face. Slowly, he reaches into the basket and pulls out a blue stick.
He looks over at me with unshed tears in his eyes as they search mine and rasps, “Are you. . .?”
I nod, covering my mouth as I let out something that’s half a laugh and half a sob. “We’re going to have a baby.”
The smile that takes over his entire face as his tears fall freely is breathtaking. “A baby?”
Nodding again, I settle myself onto his lap. His arms cocoon around me firmly as he digs his face into my neck. “Are you happy?” I ask, sniffling as his tears wet my skin.
He nods and pulls back to look at my face. “Unbelievably happy, ma cerise,” he says softly and then places a lingering kiss to my soaked cheek. “Are you?”
I smile, pressing my forehead against his. “Yes, and I hated keeping it from you, but I wanted to tell your mom first.”
His eyes boil over again and he sniffs, clutching onto me tightly. “I’ll never know what I’ve done to deserve you.”
“I do,” I tell him, running my hands through his hair as the sun beats against my skin. “You do it every day and you do it better than anyone else ever could.” I brush my mouth over his. “You love me so well, Julian.”
He nips my chin playfully and I laugh. “Mrs. Havord,” he murmurs and then presses his hand to my stomach. “Little Havord.” The two words are a gentle whisper. “You are going to be so spoiled.”
I lean back on my hands, but that’s not enough for my husband. He lays me down onto my back and settles between my legs, his face lined up with my belly. I watch in awe as he talks to our baby.
“Here’s the deal, you be kind to your mom in there. If you’re feeling claustrophobic one day, don’t go kicking her bladder or we’re going to have some words you and I.”
Laughing, I sit up on my elbows. “Julian—”
“Shh,” he tells me and I roll my eyes, my smile stretching wide on my face to the point my cheeks burn. He gives my belly a stern look. “I mean it. Be easy on her.”
“Your dad is ridiculously protective of me, but I can take it,” I add.
His eyes flick up to mine. “That’s true,” he agrees. “However, let’s not make a punching bag out of her.” I laugh again as he regains his focus on our baby. “But that means I’m also going to be very protective of you.” He lays his head down and I run my fingers over his cheek. “I’ve been waiting for you and your mom for a long, long time. If I love you this much now, I can only imagine how much I’m going to love you when we meet.”
My heart soars high up in the clouds as I listen to him ramble on about how we fell in love. We were fractured pieces of ourselves when we met. Two broken souls that found each other.
For once, I feel zero uncertainty in my life. It doesn’t matter what life throws at us, because no matter what, I know we’ll both choose to stay. If not for anything else, then I know we’ll do it for this. Our family.