Chapter 25
I’m not sure what I’m most anxious about. Telling my friend that my boyfriend, Charlie, also happens to be her ex, Nico? Asking her if she’s still in love with him? Hearing her explain why she didn’t want to marry him?
I’d honestly rather have a root canal than have this conversation. And I really hate going to the dentist.
I close my eyes and rehearse what I’m going to say for probably the hundredth time today.
Vanessa…I just found out that Charlie is Charles Nicolas Sutton.
I had no idea—I swear.
The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.
But I’m in love with him.
Do you love him, too?
What do we do? Where do we go from here ?
I look at my phone. It’s seven o’clock.
I knock.
My heart thumps as I hear Vanessa’s footsteps getting closer. It takes a Herculean effort to unclench my jaw and unfurrow my brow.
I plan to throw my arms around her as soon as I see her. She’ll be bright-eyed and smiling, and totally unsuspecting. I’ll squeeze her tight and, for a moment, at least, I’ll get to enjoy the normalcy between us.
But when Vanessa opens the door, I freeze.
She looks…I don’t know, bewildered? Flustered maybe?
“Hey,” I say, my brows knitting back together. “Is everything okay?”
She sighs. “Sorry—I just got some news that came as a bit of a shock.”
A pang of worry hits my gut. “It’s not about Tati Marie, is it?”
Vanessa shakes her head. “No, it’s not, thank goodness.” She gestures for me to hand her the bottle of wine I’m carrying. “Here, come in.”
I follow Vanessa, relieved. Marie’s been more of a maternal figure to me than any other woman I’ve known.
She’s encouraged my friendship with her niece.
She’s supported me as an artist, and given me the amazing opportunity to show my work.
And last night, she even took care of me—making me her special “remedy” when she thought I was coming down with something, and comforting me when she found out I was lovesick.
Wait a minute.
Is it possible Marie told Vanessa that Charlie is Nico? Is that why my friend’s so out of sorts?
She doesn’t look back at me once as she leads me through her living room. She doesn’t say a word. Not, “It’s so good to see you!” or “Can’t wait to catch up!” or “Hey! I heard you’re sleeping with my ex! How’s that going?”
As we get closer to her kitchen, I start to feel like I’m walking the plank.
Take a deep breath, I remind myself, my stomach churning. Vanessa’s shock could have been triggered by any number of things. Unemployment rates. Climate change. Endangered species. This probably has nothing to do with me and Charlie.
Except…he’s standing in her kitchen.
When I see him at her island, I gasp. He knew I was planning to talk to Vanessa today. So why is he here? And why does he look so uncomfortable? There are beads of sweat on his forehead.
He’s also heartbreakingly handsome. Did he get more gorgeous in the four days since I’ve seen him? When his eyes travel from Vanessa to me, his gaze softens, and that same magnetic pull draws me to him. I want to run into his arms, but I can’t. What if I never will again?
“I told Vanessa,” he says.
“Oh.” I turn to look at my friend.
She clears her throat. “He said you were planning to tell me today. And that you didn’t feel comfortable seeing him again until after we talked. I appreciate that.”
I nod, shying away from her gaze. Without that signature grin on her face, Vanessa intimidates me. I feel so small, all of a sudden. There she is, tall, and lithe. She’s the perfect height for Charlie.
They look good together.
They’ve been together. Slept together. Laughed together. Planned a wedding together. She’s known him much longer than I have. I have no right to be jealous, but I am.
I also feel guilty for robbing my friend of her beautiful smile.
My eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry, Vanessa.”
“You didn’t mean for this to happen,” she replies, sounding like Tati Marie. She’s still unsmiling, but her tone is gracious, which makes my heart hurt even worse.
“How are you feeling about all this?” I ask her, trying to ignore my racing pulse.
“I only found out ten minutes ago. Nico just got here.” She faces him again. “Sorry—I mean, Charlie.”
He turns crimson. “You can still call me Nico, if you want. It’s fine.”
Vanessa sighs. “I think we need to open this bottle of wine.”
“Agreed,” her ex says.
“Please,” I beg.
Vanessa uncorks the bottle and pours out three glasses. She sits in the middle of the island, and Charlie and I pick chairs on opposite ends, as far away from each other as possible.
You’d think we were an estranged couple at a mediation. I’ve felt his gaze on me since I arrived, but I’m so anxious about upsetting Vanessa that I don’t even want to make eye contact with him.
I finish half my wine in one large, noisy gulp. When I put my glass down, Charlie and Vanessa are looking at me. “I’m sorry,” I say. “This is incredibly awkward.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Charlie attempting to suppress a smile.
“I know,” Vanessa replies. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. I mean, what are the odds?”
“Slim to none,” I say before draining my glass. The way Charlie’s looking at me with adoring eyes is almost impossible to ignore.
Vanessa pours me more wine, then takes a sip of her own. “To say that I’m stunned is an understatement. But, for the record…I’m not upset.”
“You’re not?” I ask, my eyes wide.
“This is partly my fault,” she replies, looking down at her glass. “I let you believe I wasn’t over him.”
I squint at her. “I don’t understand.”
My friend exhales deeply. “I haven’t been honest with you. Or anyone, really—until recently.”
I shake my head. From across the island, Charlie appears to be just as confused as I am.
“Honest about what?” I ask.
She takes a deep breath. “I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Oh,” I say. I allow myself to full-on look at Charlie this time, and he’s breathing a sigh of relief. I turn back to Vanessa. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I’ve shared practically every detail of my life with her—because I’ve felt so comfortable in her presence, from the first day we met. I thought she felt the same way. I’m disappointed, honestly .
“It has nothing to do with you, or our friendship,” she replies, as though reading my mind. “This was about me…feeling guilty.”
“Why?” Charlie asks, tilting his head.
She turns to answer him. “I never should have proposed to you. I did it because I panicked. I’m thirty-two years old, and I want a family. When you told me you were moving to Chicago, I was terrified of starting over again. I was afraid I wouldn’t find someone as thoughtful and kind as you?—”
“So, you settled,” Charlie says.
“It’s awful, but it’s true. You deserve so much better than that. And the fact that I ran out on you, in front of your family and friends…I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.” Tears fall down her cheeks.
“It sucked,” Charlie admits. “But you did us both a favor, V. You’re not the only one who was settling.”
Vanessa’s face lights up for the first time since I got here. “Really?”
“When you proposed, I panicked,” Charlie explains. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Because I did love you…but as a friend.”
Vanessa lets out a breathy laugh as she wipes her cheeks. “I’ve never been so happy to hear someone say they were never in love with me.”
Charlie wipes his brow. “That makes two of us.”
Well, I guess I don’t have a reason to feel so jealous anymore. The knots in my stomach ease a bit, but I’m still eager to move on from thoughts of Vanessa and Charlie together. “So, tell us about this guy you’re dating,” I ask my friend.
“He’s a social worker, too. We met about a month after I called off the wedding, and I wasn’t ready to date yet.
But he sat next to me at a continuing education seminar, and when we started talking, there was obvious chemistry.
We had lunch together that day, during a short break mid-training, and it was the best date I’d ever had—even though you could hardly call it that. I felt like I’d known him forever.”
I know the feeling , I think, sneaking a peek at Charlie. He’s eyeing me too, the hint of a smile on his lips. And even though his former fiancée is talking about the best date of her life with another man, there’s no indication on my boyfriend’s face that he’s hurt or offended.
“He asked me for my number, and the next night we went to dinner. Before I knew it, I’d seen him every single day that week.
But for me to jump into a new relationship so quickly seemed like another rash decision—and I told him that.
I went back and forth a lot. But he was incredibly patient with me.
Eventually I couldn’t fight the fact that I had feelings for him.
“I didn’t trust myself, though. I wanted to make sure that what I felt was real.
That I wasn’t just rushing into a relationship because I wanted to get married and have kids.
That’s why I didn’t tell you when I started dating him, Jenna.
Or anyone else, for that matter. I only told my sister a few weeks ago, because—” Vanessa looks down at her lap.
“What?” I ask.
She winces. “I wanted to know if she’d be okay with me taking my boyfriend to Europe, instead of her. I felt awful even suggesting it?—”
“Knowing Denise, I’m sure she was happy for you,” Charlie says.
Vanessa nods. “She was so relieved to hear I was dating again. She said our whole family was worried I wasn’t over you.
So I shared the news with my parents, too.
My boyfriend’s mom and dad also live in Miami, so we decided to spend a few days there after our trip to Europe.
We met each other’s families, and it went really well. ” She pauses, and her smile fades.
Charlie raises his eyebrows when she looks at him. “What’s up?”
“This isn’t too weird for you, is it?” she asks. “I mean, here I am talking about taking another man on the trip that was supposed to be our honeymoon. And introducing him to my parents, and?—”
I’m glad she asked, because I was wondering the same thing.
But my boyfriend shakes his head. “Honestly, V—it doesn’t bother me.
That trip was a gift from your parents, first of all.
But more importantly, if you have the opportunity to experience Europe with someone you love, you should take it.
” His eyes dart to me for a split second, and my pulse quickens, thinking of all the times I’ve fantasized about traveling to Italy with him.
Then he turns back to Vanessa. “I’m really happy for you. ”
She sighs, relieved. “Okay, good.”
“And I know how close you are with your family. It’s great to hear your boyfriend got along well with your parents, too.”
It’s a perfect answer. But what else would I expect from Charlie?
Is this man too good to be true?
As soon as the thought occurs, I push it out of my mind. It’s probably some deep-rooted defense mechanism from the years I spent believing I didn’t deserve love. But those days are over now.
“Thanks,” Vanessa says, nodding. “I only wish Tati Marie had been there, but she’ll meet him soon enough. When I called earlier today to tell her about him, she was over the moon.”
My heart swells. Marie must have been worried about how this potential love triangle would shake out.
“I planned to tell you tonight, Jenna. I wanted you to meet him, too,” Vanessa says to me, her gaze sincere. “Which is why he’s coming over. He should be here any minute.”
She looks between me and Charlie before she continues. “Is that okay? Obviously, I didn’t anticipate the three of us would be having this conversation tonight. Or ever, really.”
I glance up at Charlie, who shrugs. “Well…I’d like to meet him,” he says, an earnest look on his face.
I nod. “Yes, of course. Me too.”
Vanessa exhales. “Good. It’ll make things less awkward—don’t you think?”
“It couldn’t hurt,” I say. Across the island from me, my boyfriend looks as happy as I’ve ever seen him. And why shouldn’t he be? He and his ex cleared the air. Neither of them have residual feelings for each other. His girlfriend doesn’t have to worry about breaking her friend’s heart anymore.
But Charlie’s pattern of not wanting to disappoint people, at the expense of his own happiness, worries me even more now. He accepted Vanessa’s proposal because he didn’t want to upset her. How do I know he wouldn’t do the same with me?
A knock at the door startles me. Vanessa’s boyfriend is here. I guess I don’t have time to agonize over this now.
“That’s him,” she says, her face lighting up for the second time tonight. “I’m going to chat with him in the hallway first, and fill him in on what he’s missed so far. It might take him a few minutes to process this, too.”
The moment Vanessa leaves the kitchen, Charlie’s on his feet, moving to sit next to me. Grinning, he threads his fingers through mine. “I told you this would all work out.”
My forehead crinkles. “What about, um…the other stuff we talked about?”
“My job?” he asks.
I nod.
His smile dims the slightest bit. “I’m working on it.”
It’s not exactly convincing.
“How’ve you been the past few days? I really miss you. I haven’t reached out at all, because you said you needed space—but I just want you to know I’ve been thinking about you.” He sighs. “A hell of a lot.”
“I miss you too.” It’s all I have time to say before Vanessa walks back into the kitchen, followed by her boyfriend.
He’s a few inches taller than Charlie—maybe 6'4"—and quite handsome. He looks like he could be mixed, too. His dark hair is buzzed short, and he has hazel eyes that pop against his light brown skin, even behind the pair of glasses he’s wearing.
He beams at us. A bright, kind smile that reminds me a little of Vanessa’s.
No—that’s not it.
His smile is familiar, but it’s unique. And when his gaze lands on mine, my forehead creases.
“Wait a minute…I know you,” I tell him.
Recognition lights his eyes. “You went to Beachwood Middle School.”
“I did,” I reply—but I still can’t place him.
“I’m Asher,” he says. “Asher Abadie.”