Chapter 6
Summer 2012
This summer has been magical. Grant was down here to visit after being overseas in Australia. His photography is getting more popular, especially on posts where he goes shirtless and gets a picture of himself with the view of the beach behind him.
He has taken on surfing while traveling to tropical locations and I can tell he loves it. He seems to gravitate toward the ocean, probably something embedded in him from being born in Southern California before moving to Nebraska as a baby. He has plans to go to South America soon, so we are making the best of our time while we can before I head back to college.
Tonight, we are hitting the town. I am visiting New York while Grant is here, seeing his family. His sister is now married to Hudson, and they have three-year-old twins, Mallory and Jackson. They’re super cute, and Grant can’t get enough of them. Their energy is something to envy. We spent the day with them, taking them to the park and getting them tired while Becca and Hudson worked.
Once the twins were dropped off, we headed over to my hotel. I decided it would be nice to have some time with Grant one-on-one. Turns out, Grant and I can’t keep our hands off each other when we are in the same city. We’ve sort of made an agreement to be together when we aren’t in a relationship.
After prom, I won’t act like things weren’t a bit different between us. I’d catch myself ogling him while I’d find his gaze on me whenever we were in the same room together. Finally, one night last summer, we couldn’t contain the attraction we had for one another, and we made it a habit of sleeping together whenever the opportunity presented itself. The only thing is, once we got comfortable with that, we never broached the subject of taking our relationship to the next level.
I started school last fall, and he began traveling. We went back to our friendly routine of calling one another, the connection constant. But we also didn’t keep from dating and seeing other people. To say I have been a bit confused is an understatement. Then again, much like before, when I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with Grant by confessing my love for him, I didn’t want to ruin this carefree thing we’ve got going either.
From what I understand, Grant loves to date, but he doesn’t hold on to a relationship because he says traveling makes it hard to keep his partner happy. He tried it a few months back, and he said he had a stage five clinger. His recap of that relationship had me crying with laughter even though I also felt the beginnings of jealousy creeping in.
We’ve been stronger than ever, and our love for each other is only getting better. I thought after prom, we’d have a hard time finding a way to be around one another, but all it did was make us inseparable to the point that everyone keeps asking us why we aren’t together. Anyone who sees us interact can feel the love we have for one another. But the timing just isn’t working in our favor.
I go to school at Wyoming U, while Grant travels the world. I don’t want to make him feel obligated to be around me all the time. It feels like we just fell into this friends-with-benefits situation, and it works. He needs to live his life, and he needs to feel that freedom when he’s exploring the world. If it were completely up to me, I would confess my undying love for him and see where we land. But I would hate for Grant to feel obligated to be with me. What if he resented my confession and stayed with me for the wrong reasons? That would break me. I want Grant to want to be with me because it’s a choice, not because he feels obligated. We are both adults, and we seem to be navigating this thing between us quite well.
The moment my hotel door closes, we start to devour one another. We are diving deeper with each moment we spend together in such an intimate way. But if it isn’t hurting us, then why fight it? I mean, in my mind, he’s my beginning and my end. That I have no doubt. I also know that he and I don’t have the stars aligning, so I have to bide my time. I have to live my life and let him live his. We will come together when the time is right.
I”ve been dating off and on since starting school. I even slept with a guy I was dating during my second semester, but the connection felt forced. It wasn’t how it is with Grant. With Grant, I see stars. I see the sun and the warmth of a summer day. I feel loved and nurtured. And the more I date, the more I think what I have with Grant is special to unique and not easy to find.
Grant knows all my buttons, and right now, he’s caressing my breasts, licking and biting one of my nipples while pinching the other. It feels like it’s a direct connection with my core, and I need to feel him inside me. I’m desperate for him in that way right now. We haven’t gotten much time alone because Grant’s being pulled in so many directions from friends in the city and his family.
“Grant, enough of the foreplay. I need you inside me,” I beg. I need that connection to feel whole again. My shyness has been out the window since we started this with one another. Something I was usually so quiet about, I’ve finally found my voice and demand what I want.
“Shit, Laney. So demanding.” I feel his smile against my skin as he trails kisses up my sternum and on my neck. I feel the goosebumps line my flesh, and I feel a rush of adrenaline take over.
I push him down onto the bed and begin pulling down his boxers. The rest of our clothes have been lost in a trail behind us since we got into the room. Soon his cock springs out of its confinement from the underwear, and I’m nearly salivating. Grant’s dick is perfection. It’s long, not too thick, and hits all the right spots inside of me. I’d suck on it like I did in the shower yesterday, but I am too desperate to feel us connected right now, so that will have to wait.
“Bean, if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to come before this show has even started.” He smiles at me with his dimples popping out, and my heart flutters. I love him. Beyond friendship. I love him like my soul searches for him in a crowd. I love him like my breath relies on his affection.
I begin to crawl onto the bed, lining myself up over Grant’s dick. I start to slide down on his cock, and I feel immediately full.
“Fuck, that feels amazing.” I move up and then down again, and suddenly, Grant grabs hold of my hips, holding me in place.
“Shit, Laney, I don’t have a condom on.”
I can’t help the whine that comes out of me, like a toddler being deprived of a popsicle.
“It feels so good though,” I continue to ride this high because going bare feels incredible. Now that I’ve felt him with nothing between us, I don’t think I can go back. We’ve never not used a condom, but if there’s someone I wouldn’t mind taking that step with, it’s Grant.
Our gaze connects and it seems to spur us on. The lack of condom seems forgotten, our thoughts only on how this feels right now. He grabs onto my hips and starts to control the pace. I let out a moan, my back arching and my hands resting behind me on his thighs.
I think Grant feels the difference, too, as he moans, “Fuuuccckkk! Laney, this feels unreal.”
I begin moving faster, feeling his dick hitting all the right spots, and I”m chasing my release. Grant brings his thumb to my clit, and the moment he touches me there, I detonate. The second I fall off that cliff, he starts to control my movements with his hands still firmly on my hips. He’s using his legs to piston into me from below, and fuck does it feel fantastic.
“Yes, Grant, fuck me harder.” I can’t help the dirty words I’m saying, but he makes me feel feral when we’re like this.
“Shit, Laney. Fuck, you’re perfect. Your tits bouncing like that. You are fucking unbelievable.”
Soon, we’re both moaning and screaming, me chasing another orgasm while Grant feels me tighten around him. I see the strain in his neck, holding back his urge to release. Right as I’m coming off my high, he moves me so that my back is not eh bed and he’s now hovering over me. He pulls out, grabbing his cock, stroking himself until he finally lets go. I feel the warmth of his cum coat my stomach. I watch as his orgasm milks my skin and I can’t keep from thinking how dirty and hot this is all in one.
He lets his head drop back and we are both catching our breath, forgetting about the mess we’ve caused.
“Mmmm, that was incredible. I loved doing that without anything between us.” I wipe my hair off my face, feeling my heart race within my chest.
“That was fantastic. It felt incredible. Each time we have sex, it feels better than the last. How is that even possible? It’s never like that with anyone else.”
Many might feel a sting at the mention of sex with another person, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel that way to me. Maybe it stems from the fact that we continue to be best friends. The first time we started to date after prom, we felt a little hesitation in divulging that information, but once we came out with it, it felt like a weight was lifted. I never saw myself in this situation, having sex with my best friend, yet completely comfortable with the honesty we always had still being exchanged. But we’ve found that no matter what, honesty is at the forefront of what we have together.
Except for my little secret that I love him and want to call him mine, we share everything else with one another. I feel the confession at the tip of my tongue, but then something deep within me stops the words from falling out. I just can’t fathom my confession doing anything but ruining what we’ve got going on. So, we are a bit unconventional, but that seems to work for us.
“I can’t argue with that. It is always incredible with you.” I lift my head and rest my chin on his chest. “Oh my gosh! You know what we should do tomorrow before we head back to our realities? Get a tattoo!”
“What? You said you’re not into getting a tattoo, Bean.” He had asked me after prom if we should go get matching tattoos before heading off into the real world, and I wasn’t into the idea of a needle pricking my skin for the purpose of artwork on my body. But my friend Artie has a cool one on his ribs, and it piqued my curiosity.
“Well, now I do. And I want to get one with you there. You don’t have to get one.” I honestly just want him to hold my hand. He doesn’t need to commit to anything permanent like that.
“Okay. My buddy goes to someone in the city who I think is known for his shading. Do you know what you want?”
I nod, knowing my vision might be a tough one to put onto my skin, but one that I think would look really cool if done right.
“Alright. Let me reach out to Sam and see if he can make you an appointment.” Grant winks at me, and I feel my insides tingle. I lay my head back down, savoring these little moments that fill my heart with joy.
I’m sitting in a chair while the tattoo artist preps his station. I came in with Grant about an hour ago, and within a few minutes, he was drawing my thoughts onto paper. His design is flawless. I came up with intertwined peonies that will sit on the right side of my ribcage. Grant said it’s perfect for me. He brought a chair right next to me, and he’s telling me all about his trip to Chile, which is coming up soon. I leave for college tomorrow, and shortly after I get settled, Grant will be on his next adventure. The fact he’s taking this time to let me hold his hand, as I pretty much use my skin as a canvas, means the world to me.
My smile feels cemented on my face until I feel the first pinch from the needle. The artist asked me if I was ready, but I guess it hurts more than I gave it credit for. I squeeze Grant’s hand like it’s going to take away the pain, but the more that needle glides against my skin, the more I want to pull away and forget about this plan. But I know from where he is, he’s not even close to done. So, I have to bear the pain for the outcome I want.
Once finished, which felt like a lifetime of me sitting there and breathing through my nose to steady my breaths, I’m told I’m all done. It’s not a huge tattoo, but it’s large enough that anyone looking at it will see what it”s supposed to be, my favorite flower. I’m looking in the mirror, moving my body from one side to the other to see the beautiful work of art from all angles.
That’s when I see Grant in the reflection of the mirror stand up and remove his shirt behind me. I’m gawking at his torso, too focused on how incredibly delectable Grant is, when it dawns on me he’s taking a seat in the chair I just got tortured in. I swing my body around, my mouth opening, but no words coming out.
I finally speak, “What are you doing?” My best friend is lying there with a sexy smirk across his face.
“What does it look like, Bean? I’m getting a tattoo.” The artist seems to be in on this little secret, and he’s wiping down his station, sanitizing it for Grant to be his next victim.
My eyes widen. “What tattoo are you getting?” Grant doesn’t even answer aside from pointing at my tattoo. I look down at my ribcage, covered with that plastic they use to reduce infection, then look back at him.
“You’re getting a matching tattoo?” I say, my voice a bit pitchy from surprise.
“Well, we’ve shared everything else together, why not one more first?” The moment he says it, the tattoo artist, Jared, looks up at him and arches a brow. Grant has the audacity to nod and then throws a wink my way. I feel my cheeks flame from embarrassment. Jared gives Grant a smile, like he knows exactly what all our firsts mean.
“I didn’t invite you here to make you feel obligated to get a tattoo, Grant.” Jared is cleaning Grant’s skin on the same part of his body as my tattoo is on mine. Grant’s version is a little larger than mine; however, the artwork itself is the exact replica of mine.
I take a seat next to him in the chair, the same seat Grant was just sitting in supporting me, and grab his hand. Once he’s ready, Jared begins, and I see the moment the needle makes contact with Grant’s skin, he squeezes my hand. I bring his hand to my lips and lightly kiss his knuckles.
I try to distract Grant with stories from Artie dating our mutual friend, Eugene. This summer has been one of finding love, Artie’s words, not mine. I also talk about declaring a major and how nervous I am to make such a big decision at the end of this school year.
Once done, Grant stands and looks at his reflection in the mirror. He’s pensive at first, and I worry he regrets what he’s done. He can’t go back now, but I also don’t want him to hate looking at it.
“Aside from being with you, Laney, this is my most treasured possession.” He looks at the tattoo a little more, then turns to Jared. “Great job, man. It’s perfect, just like my Laney here.”
We finish up at the tattoo parlor and make our way to dinner. We were getting our tattoos for the majority of the day, and now we’re both starving. I can”t help but put this moment in my heart next to all the treasured memories I’ve stored in all my years with my best friend.