Grant
“Cassie, where is Micah? Have you seen him? What about Wesley? Did he sneak in here?” Giggles come from the couch, and it’s hard not to react with laughter of my own.
Before I can move about the room any further, both the boys jump up from behind the sectional couch.
I act scared. “Oh my gosh. Boys, you nearly had me peeing my pants.” I bring my hand to my chest, and the fact that I said pee makes the boys really start laughing.
I hear my girls in the kitchen, making cookies for the Christmas dinner we are gearing up to host.
Walking into the kitchen, I grab a cookie that’s on the edge of the cooling rack.
“Grant, do not keep eating the cookies. We won’t have enough to serve for anyone else!” Laney scolds. I chuckle while inhaling yet another cookie. I can see her frustration wane once my dimples pop out. I know how to use my charm on my wife.
“Daddy, leave the cookies alone. We have to have enough for the guests and for Santa!” My daughter is my twin in looks, but she’s all Laney when it comes to her mannerisms and behavior.
The fact I get to see pieces of the woman I love in all three of our kids is something I don’t take for granted. I know how lucky I am, especially with the past that Laney has dealt with.
The last ten years have been something I would say is out of one of Laney’s romance novels. Of course, we have tough times that lean into the good, but overall, we’ve been a great team. I think our love mixes well with the respect we have for one another. We may not see things from the same viewpoint, but we know that our communication needs to be first and foremost. Repeating what Laney says to our kids, “Lead with love.” I used to laugh at that phrase when she said it a few years back, but I realize that it holds true when we are at a fork in the road, and we need to make a unified decision.
The boys come barreling in, already excited for the festivities and the fact that Santa is coming.
“Boys, careful. The oven will be opening and closing while your sister and I bake. Do you want to help in here?”
A unified “NO” is yelled between the two of them, so they run off, hopeful that they won’t be pulled back to clean something up.
The boys are seven and five, and they’re each other’s best friend. Cassie has taken on the role of second mother to the two of them, as she seems to always be putting them in order when Laney isn’t around. It makes my life easier because making Cassie mad seems to scare her brothers. She’s usually pretty even-keel, so if she’s upset, something is gravely wrong.
“Can I go get ready, too, Mom?” Cassie looks up at her mother, and Laney nods. We haven’t hit the teenage years yet, but I hope despite the evident hormones that will be taking over my daughter’s behavior in the years to come, she never loses the respect she seems to hold on a pedestal for Laney. Once Cassie leaves, it’s hard to ignore the quiet throughout this small part of our home.
“Can I help with anything around here? I got the table all set, and the kids’ table is ready to go as well,” I ask Laney, knowing the prep work for nights like these can be more stressful than fun.
“I don’t think so. Will you make sure the boys are ready with their matching pajamas? I know they wanted to wear them tonight, and why put them in fancy clothes if they’re just going to want to change right when I put my feet up?
I move through our kitchen and reach for Laney. I pull her into my arms, her back resting against my chest, and I breathe her in. I feel her melt into my grasp, and she lets her head fall back, resting on my clavicle.
“I can’t wait until later when we have a minute alone together. I have a little gift of my own to share.” I pull back, looking into her eyes.
“Not that kind of gift. That is not on the horizon.” She tries to push me away a bit, but I just hold her tighter. Laney’s referring to getting pregnant again. I won’t lie; I wanted at least one more, but after Micah’s delivery, she was done. He was our biggest baby, weighing a whopping nine and a half pounds. She had to have a cesarean section because he would not come out any other way. Laney hated the recovery from that delivery, and it was too much for her body.
“Well, you know I’m always down for a little fun after everyone is in bed.” Although the kids are always excited for Santa’s arrival, they are quick to go to bed. They know that the sooner they go to bed, the quicker Santa will deliver their gifts.
“Good because I have a few things, and depending if you’re naughty or nice, I’ll let you have them.” She giggles, and I nibble on her earlobe.
No matter how much time passes, there isn’t a part of our lives that doesn’t involve the other. From our earliest memory to this moment right now, we’ve been involved in every little aspect of one another’s life. There’s something special to that, and it’s something we are always talking about when we reflect on how life looks now that we have a house full of children.
We ended up finding a brownstone up for sale about three years after Cassie was born. It is a short walk down from my sister and Ellie’s street, and it is the perfect size for us, even with the idea of expanding our family when it was just three of us. So far, the house has grown with us, and every year, we find something we want to redo and use that as our annual project. The last adjustment we made to the home was adding a garden for us to grow our own vegetables. Now that the kids are getting older, they are helping more around the house.
Laney has found a love for cooking and loves to come up with fun recipes that involve the help of the kids. It usually starts with all three, with Cassie outlasting her brothers and finishing the food with her mom. I tried to help once, but apparently, I made the dish too salty, and I was banned from doing much other than setting the table and grabbing items that were too high up for the children to reach.
I continue to work on my photography but try to take jobs that don’t keep me far from the family for longer than a few days. If there’s an opportunity abroad, I make sure it’s booked at a time that would work for the kids and Laney to come with me instead of leaving them behind. I think I live with too many open wounds from when Tad hurt Laney.
Speaking of Tad, he hasn’t been a problem since that day, over ten years ago. Last I heard, he did get out of prison and got some medical help. Due to the restraining order we had placed against him, I never saw him again.
It turns out, he was following Laney and I during that time his obsession with her became unhealthy. We only found this out during the investigation. I”m going out on a limb, but I think all those times I felt like I was being watched, I most likely was. The moment I learned of his behavior leading up to that day in the yoga studio, my guard was up. I couldn”t rest until I tried everything I could to keep him away from me and my family.
He ended up moving out of state, per what the lawyer said. Sometimes, it pays to have an ex-brother-in-law who’s a lawyer. Hudson was able to keep me informed of Tad’s whereabouts until he left New York for good about six years ago. It allowed me to rest easy, and I saw Laney calm down some, knowing he wasn’t close enough to run into if we were out, especially with the kids.
I slap Laney’s butt and stroll out of the kitchen, stealing one last glance at her before I turn and head upstairs.
Before I walk up the stairs to our second floor, I look over at our tree, full of ornaments, all chosen with care by each member of this family. Laney had a vision that every year, each person would get to choose their ornament. She said she wanted us to fill our tree with memories, so that’s exactly what we’ve done. On the mantel is every holiday photo we’ve taken as a family, framed with the year right below it. It’s a tradition I cherish and one I look forward to each year.
My heart is full. My life has truly been a blessing. It’s a reminder that we are not promised tomorrow, so living for today is a gift. After everything I’ve seen, from growing up without my father to watching Laney slowly come back to herself, I realize that life is a constant wheel of change. We have to learn how to move through it, not around it. It’s not about avoiding the pain but learning how to live with it. We can’t avoid it, nor can we run from it. But I know that running toward the things that once brought us fear can sometimes lead to our biggest source of growth. In our case, that growth led to happiness.
Had I not taken a chance on Laney to make our friendship something more, I don’t know what my life would look like right now. I can guarantee it would not fill my heart with love in the way she has every second of each day we’ve been together.