Chapter 38 Beckett
BECKETT
The sun is high in the sky by the time I wake up in the morning. I feel significantly better. I’m not sure what was in that drink, or maybe it was the bath, or possibly it was just her presence beside me. I slept better last night than I have in a long time.
I pat the bed beside me, and it’s empty. I frown and reach for my phone on the nightstand.
My eyes widen when I see that it’s almost ten. I haven’t slept in like this, probably since I was Sloane’s age.
I stretch my limbs and slowly drag myself out of bed. I grab some sweats and slip them on, running a hand through my hair before walking out of the room.
There’s soft music playing from the speaker in the kitchen.
Sloane holds Mocha in her arms as she dances with him. She smiles at him as she sings, and he looks like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. Just soaking up every ounce of affection she offers.
I know the feeling, bud.
She has this way of just making you feel like you’re everything to her. Her heart is so big, and the way she cares is way more than I will ever deserve. But she’s mine, and I’m going to fight to keep her.
I take my phone out of my pocket and snap a picture of the two of them, and just watch them for a few minutes.
She made this house feel like a home.
When the song ends, she kisses Mocha on the head before setting him down on the ground, going back to whatever she was cooking on the stove. I roll my eyes at her ability to just space the rest of the world out when she’s in a moment.
I sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, burying my face into her neck. She jumps slightly before relaxing into my arms.
“Sorry I slept so long,” I whisper, gently kissing her skin.
God, she tastes so good. I feel like I’ve been starving. She’s the only thing that can ease the hunger inside of me.
“It’s ok, you needed it. Considering you got more sleep last night than I think you’ve gotten the last two weeks.”
She might have a point there.
“What do you want to do today?” I whisper in her ear, gently nipping her earlobe.
“I was thinking that maybe we could go for a drive up the canyon and have a picnic, just the three of us. Find a place with no service and where we can just relax.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“I’m glad you think so,” she says, flipping the bacon.
I need her. Not just physically, but I need her soul, to just be near her, to surround myself in her and never leave.
I’ve never experienced the ache of missing someone like I have the last few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I miss Mason every single day, and I pray that he’s ok. Afghanistan is a scary place, and I hope he comes home in one piece.
I have no idea where I’d even begin to describe this ache. She’s been right here the whole time, but I haven’t been able to give her the time and attention that she deserves.
I love my job, and I love helping and serving the people of the community, but I’ve also never had someone at home waiting for me until now.
I’ve never experienced what it’s like to wake up next to someone and never want to leave the bed.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and honestly, it scares the shit out of me.
But then I look at her, and all of it is worth it.
The late nights, the long days, all of it is worth it now because I get to come home to the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my entire life.
I get to come home to something worth staying around for.
And Mocha, can’t forget about him, the little ball of fury chaos that he is, he’s also very quickly become important to me.
I knew that I was alone before, but I never realized how much so until the last few weeks.
Before April, I would have never batted an eye at basically living at the station all day, every day on high-profile cases, but something in me ached when I didn’t get to come home to her.
Something hurt when I didn’t get to kiss her goodnight or check on her to make sure she was ok.
Something in me eased just slightly on the nights that I did get to come home. Even if she was already asleep, I’d pick her up and take her to bed. At least that way I’d get to be with her if only for a few hours.
She’s healed me in a way that I don’t think she’ll ever fully realize. Even if whatever we have doesn’t work out, I’ll always be grateful for this summer and for her.
“Are you ready for breakfast?” she asks, turning her head and looking up at me.
“Mhmm,” I hum, capturing her lips in a soft kiss.
We both sigh into the kiss. I don’t even remember the last time I kissed her properly. Probably that night in the back of my squad car. Even then, I didn’t kiss her the way she deserved.
She nips my bottom lip playfully, and I growl into her mouth.
“Come on, we have a long day ahead of us,” she says, picking up a plate and handing it to me, all without looking away from me, her lips just barely touching mine.
I almost give in and take her back to bed. But I feel my stomach protest at the thought of not eating something first.
“You’re lucky that you’re cute,” I tease. I feel her smile against my lips as she kisses me again.
I pull away from her and take the food. Eggs, bacon, toast, and avocado.
We eat in silence, both of us are lost in our own minds, while we just enjoy each other's company.
We clean up together and get ready for the day. While she gets dressed, I pack the picnic basket that she pulled out of her ass.
“What the hell is this?” I ask, picking up a cheese I wouldn’t even know how to pronounce if I tried. I look down at Mocha, and he looks like he’s not going to be much help. I shrug and cut it into small pieces, putting it in the container she told me it had to go into.
By the time she’s ready to go, the basket is packed, and I’m sitting on the couch waiting for her.
She comes down wearing a simple outfit, but it looks so good on her. A tank top that’s cropped just above the waist of her jean shorts, and she slips her feet into some sandals that I recently learned are called Birkenstocks and cost an arm and a leg.
I’m not sure why, since I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the same thing at Walmart for ten dollars. But I’m not going to tell her how to spend her money; that is none of my business.
“Ready?”
“Yup,” she says, taking the blanket that’s draped over the banister and Mocha's leash.
The three of us head out the back door and toward my truck, which is parked in the shop. I open the door for her, and Mocha hops in before climbing into the backseat because he’s impatient. She laughs as she gets in, taking the basket and putting it by her feet.
“BECKETT! Stop the truck!” she yells. I slam on the brakes and pull off the road.
“Sloane! You can’t do that, what's wrong?” I ask, looking over at her, expecting her to be dying or something.
“Oh my God, look! It’s a cute little pay-what-you-want stand! We have to stop.”
“No, we don’t.”
“Please! They're all over my homepage. I’ve always wanted to go to one. I’ll only be a second,” she pleads, her eyes turning big and doe-like, in the way she knows I can’t say no to.
“Fine,” I mumble, giving in to her puppy dog eyes and pulling over in front of the stand.
She jumps out of the truck, Mocha following right behind her as she takes her wallet and goes over to the stand.
I get out of the truck, leaning against it as she looks at everything and grabs a handful of things.
Mocha’s wagging his tail, waiting to get some kind of scraps.
She pulls out her phone and starts recording. She’s far enough away that I can’t hear what she’s saying, but I can see that she’s excited. The smile on her face alone is enough to make me glad that I decided to stop.
There are paper bags, and she grabs one, taking what looks like some bread, some jars of jam, some honey,y and some kind of sweets. She pulls out her wallet, and I shake my head at her as she slips a $100 bill into the cash box.
“You really need to start carrying around smaller bills,” I playfully scold, opening the door when she comes back over to the truck.
“Leave me alone,” she says, shoving me away playfully as she sets the bag down on the basket. I wink at her as I shut her door and let Mocha into the back seat.
When I get in, she has the biggest smile on her face while she edits her video and posts it to social media.
“Ok, you want a haul?” she asks, setting her phone down and picking the bag up off the floor, putting it into her lap.
I let out an exaggerated sigh. “Do I have a choice?” I tease with a small smile.
“You’re such a jerk,” she says with a smile, shoving my shoulder away and starting with her haul.
“Ok, so I got three different types of bread: a plain wheat, a plain sourdough, and a cinnamon bread,” she says, pulling them out and showing them to me before setting them on the dashboard.
I nod, looking over at each item for a second.
“Next, I got some chocolate chunk cookies and blueberry bagels. I got some pumpkin apple treats and some regular treats for Mocha. Lastly, I got some raw honey, strawberry rhubarb jam, and some peach mango jam,” she says, laying all the items out.
I nod along, not really paying attention, just loving the fact she's smiling so big. She pulls her phone back out and films a little video before placing all the items back into her bag.
“You gonna eat all that bread?” I ask.
“No, you are. I’m going to use them for your sandwiches,” I nod. She grabs my hand and laces our fingers together.
“Thanks for stopping.”
“I have nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“You know, for a grumpy detective, you’re kinda sweet sometimes,” She says with a wink, causing me to laugh.
I find a nice meadow that has some trees and plenty of space for Mocha to run around without causing too much trouble.
We lay the blanket out, settle down, and Mocha is off chasing a butterfly or something right away.
I smile to myself as she lies next to me, looking up at the sky. There really is no other place that I’d rather be.
It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. I don’t mind. I enjoy just being around her. This is the perfect way to spend my day off.
No people, being outdoors with the two little balls of chaos that I get to call my own.
Every day this girl shows up, and she surprises me. I’m not sure how she does it, but she does.
I’m not sure what I was expecting when I got home last night, but her babying the fuck out of me was not it. Not that I’m complaining. I’ll never admit this out loud, but I kinda enjoyed being taken care of. She didn’t expect anything in return, and I think that’s what I love the most about her.
Her heart is so big, and everything she does, she does for others. She rarely does anything for herself.
When she wakes up, she climbs into my lap, and I let her, her arms wrapping around my neck, my hands on her waist.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“Hey.”
She smiles as her lips find mine. I kiss back, slow at first, just savoring the taste of her.
One of my hands finds her hair, and I pull back my lips, finding the soft skin of her neck.
I kiss down the column of her throat and gently pull on the strap of her tank top with my teeth, letting it fall down her shoulder, pressing soft kisses to every inch of her soft skin I can reach.
“Beck,” she gasps, her head falling back, exposing more of her to me. I push the other strap out of my way and take my time worshiping her.
“Baby,” I rasp against her neck, her skin pebbling with goosebumps.
My lips trail into her cleavage. She isn’t wearing a bra, and I’m tempted to suck one of those perfect little nipples into my mouth just to hear her moan my name.
Instead, I pull away from her, making her whimper, my eyes finding hers.
“Have you missed me, baby?” I whisper, leaning our foreheads together.
“Yes,” she whispers, and I capture her lips in a rough kiss. One that’s mostly teeth and a little tongue.
When we pull apart, we’re both breathing heavy, and I rest my forehead against hers.
We stay like that for a few minutes, just enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” I whisper, pulling away and kissing her nose.
“I might have some idea,” She whispers, resting her head in my chest. I hug her back, resting my head on top of hers and just breathing her in.
Mocha runs around like a tiny madman, rolling in the dirt and chasing anything that moves.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend my day,” she says, as we lie on the blanket, my arm under my head as she lies curled into my side, her leg draped over my hips, and her head resting on my chest.
“Me either,” I whisper, lacing our fingers together.
We watch the clouds and enjoy the sunset, staying up in our little heaven until the sun is gone and it gets a little chilly.
We pack up and head back to the house.
I fall asleep with her in my arms and Mocha by my feet. I feel at peace.
This is how it should’ve been, all week. I feel bad that it wasn’t, but all that matters right now is that she’s here, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.